Lanie Iâd been working with my grandfather and Charlotte to access my different traits. Iâd mastered some of them and learned there might be some Iâd never be able to control. But until I stood under the mutual glow of both the Moon and the Sun with the stars dancing between them, I hadnât ever truly accepted that I was not wolf-kind.
I was a hybrid. Many pieces together in one vessel. The body that Iâd left behind. The one I needed to return to so I could support my daughter.
For a second that might as well have been an eternity, I tipped my face up to the Sun.
It bathed me in its glow. I held out my arms, letting the golden light cover me all over.
Iâd walked in the sunshine for my entire life without worry, not knowing I had vampire blood running in my veins. Not realizing how lucky I was that the Sun didnât choose to fry me alive.
The future might be obscured to me. I couldnât look ahead the way my daughter could and see every branching path. I couldnât predict how my choices would influence what lay ahead.
But I could still make them.
I might never be able to do everything, but that would never again stop me from doing what I could.
âI think I understand, Moon Goddess. I have to trust in you. In Stella. But most of all, in myself.â
The laughter of a Goddess is a blessing all its own. Hers rained over me, sparkling silver droplets I could feel as well as hear. I lifted my face to the sky again and danced in the light and laughter of the Goddess Iâd been born to serve. I accepted her blessingsâ¦and also those of her sister, the Sun, who could have chosen at any moment in my life to end it, but who had allowed me to reach this place.
âThank you, thank you!â I cried out into the skies. âIâm ready!â
With a rumble of thunder, storm clouds rolled across the sky. They covered up the stars first,dimming their light and then blinking them to darkness. Next, the Sun itself faded from blazing orange to soft, pale yellow. Then to white, and it, too, was gone. The Moon remained, but the clouds quickly covered up its silver sheen.
I was in darkness.
I couldnât see the path in front of me, but worse than that, I couldnât even feel it. I tapped a toe and felt something solid underneath it. I took a step, and suddenly, there was nothing to stand on. I teetered on the edge of the world.
With a scream, I pulled myself back from the edge. I couldnât tell if I had my eyes open or closed.
Everything was darkness, either way.
If this was a test, I wasnât sure I was going to pass it Time passed like the beat of a heart or the tick of a clock, but I couldnât tell if it was hours or minutes or years or eternities. I fought to stop myself from running, plunging over the abyss. Iâd trusted the Goddess this far, and Iâd accepted her will. I had to remain patient for whatever message she sent me next.
Slowly, I became aware of a dim glow. It looked really far away, like the light at the end of a tunnel. I blinked, realizing my eyes must have been open. Theyâd been open the entire time, waiting for something to see.
The glow brightened. I could see the edge just beyond the tips of my bare toes. It looked like I stood on a cliff, but I had no idea how high it was, or what lay below it. I put my foot out,feeling nothing below it but air. An icy wind lifted my hair. If I lost my balance, Iâd fall and plunge into that darkness.
I wasnât going to lose anything.
âMother?â Stellaâs voice came to me from that light.
I took the first step. My heart seized as my body tensed, waiting to hurtle over the cliff edge. I still couldnât feel anything under the foot extended forward. The one behind me was still solid.
âMother, follow my voice! You have to come back to us now!â
It took everything I had, every bit of willpower,to lift the foot remaining on the ground. I stepped forward again. Now there was nothing beneath me. I wasnât floating, but I wasnât falling, either.
âIâm coming, Stella!â
I took another step. Another. I walked on nothing but trust and hope. The power of my belief buoyed me up. The love I felt emanating from my daughter kept me moving.
The light grew brighter, and now it looked like a doorway. Stella stood just inside it. Behind her, over her shoulder, I could see our living room. My three mates.
My own body, sprawled on the ground like I was dead.
âCome back to us, Mother!â
Step after step, I followed her voice and the light.