''Wait you told her?'' said a very surprised Bailey. It was the end of the third period and we were heading towards the cafeteria. We had spent all day talking about how bad the field trip was, and I finally told them about the little stunt with my mum.''I'm just as surprised as you are, don't worry.'' I said while putting some books in my locker. ''And?'' Maya said, slightly looking up from her phone. ''And; she caused a scene and left me to walk here.'' I said, slamming my locker's door shut. ''So that's why you were late today!'' Ivory exclaimed, sounding like she had won the lottery.
''Trust me I still think walking is way better than my mum driving me here and me getting reprimanded during the entire ride.'' I said while rolling my eyes.
''Except for the part when a guy in a mum â van gets you wet'' Bailey said making us all laugh.
We found our usual table at the cafeteria and put our things down. ''Okay, so, according to Jagger, there's going to be a party this weekend'' she said while doing a little shoulder shake towards me. I didn't bother commenting on it, since I had no intention of going anyway. I wasn't much of the party type. Netflix and Nutella ice cream sounded way more fun if you asked me.
''So?" Ivory said suggestively while looking at all of us. ''So what?'' I said, taking another bite of my sandwich. ''I mean, we're going, right?" Ivory said, a hopeful tone lacing her voice. ''You guys can go if you want to but count me out.'' I said, checking my phone. ''Come on! Don't be such a boring ass! It's your senior year, and so far you haven't gone to any of the parties that were thrown, you can't miss this one too.'' Ivory said, slightly annoyed.
''Do I look like I give a damn? Because I don't. Like I really don't.'' You guys can go and have fun, but I am not going.'' I said, looking around the room.
''Seriously? This again? Evelyn, you haven't had yourself some real fun since that New Year's party and your cousin's Halloween party. The first was three years ago and the second one was thrown in Mc Donald's because guess what, your cousin's 10! I don't know what the heck got into you, but it better get out, because I want my best friend back.'' Ivory said, annoyed, angry and slightly sad altogether, before getting up and leaving.
So do I, I thought, not having the actual guts to tell her. I had spent way too much of my time crying over Aiden leaving because mostly, I was scared. 'It's not safe for me here anymore' he said but what did he mean? I never learned, and honestly I don't know if I ever will. Whatever it was, it must've been serious, considering it made us cut ties completely. That was what I hated the most about not knowing. Not knowing whether he was able to contact me and didn't, or if he just couldn't.
''Don't listen to her, kay? You don't have to go. Parties are for having fun and if you don't think you'll have fun, then why go anyway?'' Bailey said with a slight smile. ''Are you guys going?'' I asked but knowing them, I already knew the answer. Maya would be too busy studying and Bailey would be too busy trying to get her brother sober. It's the same stuff every time.
''Nah, someone has to be around when my bro comes home wasted. I'm pretty sure drunk Nash is capable of calling the cops to come arrest a drunk driver who'd happen to be himself.'' Bailey said while rolling her eyes.
''What about you M?" I asked Maya, who was now too busy trying to figure out how the new IOS update worked. ''Huh?'' she replied, clearly not knowing what we were talking about.
''Are you going to Jagger's party?'' I asked again. ''When's that again?" she replied, not looking up from her screen. ''You know what, nevermind, I'll find a way to find out because this girl's going'' Maya replied closing her phone and looking at us with a big smile.
''Okay?'' I awkwardly said, looking over to Bailey who had the same confused expression as me. Maya was not the type to party. Like ever. 'Books are man's best friend' is basically her life motto.
''You're going to the party? Like you're going to that party? As in Jagger's summer party? As in Jagger, the guy who you despise? You know how crazy his parties are â well you don't since you've never been to one, I mean did you hear about what happened last time? The Hawks' team came over and trust me things did not end up well, I mean a fight started and someone went through the balcony door and he ended up going to the hospital and â ''
''Eve'' Bailey cut me off. ''you're doing it again.'' she said, referring to my very awkward habit of ranting whenever I want to make a valid point and/or am very scared or nervous. ''Sorry'' I whispered and took a bite of my sandwich.
Bailey flicked It off and went back to Maya ''I hate to say this â well, not really, but she has a point M. You can't go to that party. At least not alone. Sure, Jagger will be there but honestly, can you trust that guy? One second he's talking to you and the next he's on the other side of the room making out with some random chick he didn't even know he invited because he probably didn't and it's probably one of his ex's who he doesn't want there but is too drunk to know who he's with.''
''Ugh, you guys are right, I'm not going to last a second in there. Guess I'm not going.'' She said with a sad smile and a shoulder shrug. I felt horrible. Maybe if I kept my mouth shut she would've just gone to the party and had fun and now not only is she not going, but she's not going because of me and my paranoia.
''You know what M? No. You'' I said pointing at her ''are going to that party, if you let me come with you.'' I said, determined, while Bailey looked at me as If I was crazy and honestly, I think I was.
''You are absolutely crazy and I don't think I trust you enough to let you go as her supervisor since you can't even be your own supervisor, and I can't believe I'm saying this but-'' she said and sighed ''- I'm coming with you guys. That's it, I am. Do you know how many drug addicts/drunk alcoholics are going to be there? I'm not letting my girls get jumped. Nope. Not today mister.'' She said, making as all laugh.
''Hold up are you guys seriously making party plans without me? Literally five minutes ago you-'' Ivory â who by the way showed up out of nowhere, said while pointing at me ''-were talking about how 'you don't give a damn' about the party and that we should go on our own and now you're making plans about actually going without me?'' she said, a little pissed off. You don't make party plans without Ivory. Like you just don't.
''Like do you not want to hung out with me anymore because if that's it then-''
''Ivory''
''-you can tell me so that I can find other best friends to hung out with you know there are so many people who-''
''Ivory''
''-would love to have me as their best friend and maybe even more so if I only mean this much to you girls then let me know, I literally have lines of people wanting to be my friends and-''
''Ivory!'' I yelled, trying to get her attention. '' We were literally about to tell you to come with us, chillax.'' I said, making all three of them turn around to look at me.
''Evelyn, we've talked about this, you can't keep talking â scratch that, you can't keep living as if you're in the early 2000's, okay?. It's literally 2018, come on.
''What? The early 2000's were freaking awesome are you kidding me? Well, not as awesome as the 90's but I mean there were so many cool stuff then! You could literally go to the red carpet wearing jeans and you were still considered a fashion icon, who doesn't want that?''
The 90's and the early 2000's were probably the best time periods for me. Even though I wasn't born in the 90's and didn't really get to experience the early 2000's as much considering I was a baby at the time, but I still loved them. Think about it! Pokemon was all over the place, light up shoes were invented and the song 'Baby got back' came out.
The girls all rolled their eyes but I still caught the small smiles that tugged on their lips. The bell rang, signaling it was time to go to class, so we picked up our stuff and headed to class.
Great, two more hours and I can go home.
~~~
I gasped and opened my eyes before running my hands through my messy hair. I scanned the room only to find that I was still alone in my bed. ''It was just another nightmare'' I whispered and tried to reach for the glass of water that was on the little table next to my bed but dropped it since my hands were frantically shaking. I took the covers off me because at the moment they felt as if they were as If they were pushing down on me so hard that I was unable to breathe.
The truth is though, I knew exactly that the covers were the only thing that made me feel somehow safe in the state I was currently in.
I felt the walls of my room close in on me more and more until it felt as if they had left just enough space for my head and body not to get crashed. Funny things a messed up mind can do. Soon, I felt the little oxygen I could receive get pumped from my lungs until I couldn't get any of it, no matter how hard I tried to.
His yells got louder and louder in my head. 'It's her fault! Why did that little bitch have to come into my life? I didn't ask for a second kid, why do I have to raise one now?'
My attempts to breathe got more and more vain since no air would enter my lungs. I kept trying and trying until I could no longer take it. The main reason why my mother hated me as much as she did was because I was the reason behind my father leaving her. What she doesn't know though, is that I know.
Sometimes I just sit and wonder why everything happened. What went through his mind when he decided to abandon his kids and pregnant wife just because he didn't want another kid. I mean, for God's sake, you don't just get up and leave just because something unexpected happened.
***