It had been days since the 'incident' with Bailey and Aiden- scratch that it might've actually been weeks, I'm not certain. I had done my best to stay away from the guys, yes all of them. I had managed to successfully dodge Aiden's attempts to talk about what happened at the diner, as well as ignore Bailey's phone calls and only send her a text to confirm that I am in fact still alive.
Ivory and Maya were the most understanding in this situation, giving me the time I needed to heal. Jagger showed up at my house once, wanting to talk but I kindly - well as kindly as it gets when kicking someone out goes - told him it wasn't a good time, so he left. Cole and I had gotten closer, something that I surely wasn't expecting to happen.
At school, things were...weird to say the least. I had many classes with my friends and was seated next to them in many, making it difficult to keep up with the whole 'space' thing, especially when it came to Aiden who seemed less willing to stop talking to me. Lindsay must've found out about me because she stopped coming after school. I only saw her once, she was talking on the phone while waiting for Aiden, and blew me a cheeky kiss when she saw me, to which I replied with a very graceful middle finger.
I didn't want things to turn bad with my friends, they all said I could talk to them anytime I felt ready to, but something didn't feel right with me. On the one hand, I felt bad for rejecting them and their attempts to talk to me, but on the other, I was still as pissed as it gets. They made me feel like I had no control over my life, like none. I thought that when Aiden came back, I would have the freedom to decide what happens between us, just me and him, but from the moment he set foot in this town, everyone has had a say in our friendship and decisions.
I wanted to rewind time and relive that night in my house, after Jagger's party. He had been so vulnerable with me and seemed to have so much to say... he was himself, he was authentic and raw. The same went for that night at the playground when he explained to me all that had happened, or at the party after that, when I had a panic attack and he tried to comfort me. I missed that Aiden.
I felt the same about my friends, I missed talking to them and being able to go out with them without questioning whether they're lying to me or not. Cole as well. Life got really complicated really fast.
~~~
Three weeks had passed since I had last spoken to my friends and I must admit that even though it got lonely sometimes, it really helped me see things more clearly and figure out where I wanna go from here. One thing I realized for sure was how much I had missed Ivory. We had been through thick and thin together and not speaking to her for such a long period of time really reminded me how much I appreciate her.
I sighed, my frustration evident. Should I call her? No, the guys are going to find out and I don't know how they'll feel about me hanging out only with her. But why should I care about what they think? I took a deep breath and looked at my phone. It's my life, it's time to take things into my own hands for once.
Calling Ivory went better than expected, her voice was laced with shock, the good kind. She invited me over and I happily accepted the invite, her mum equally as surprised to see me there. I was greeted by the tightest of hugs from Ivory "It's so good to have you back" she smiled, putting a hand on arm. I smiled and nodded, not sure how to reply. Was I back?
We went to her room and Ivory took a seat on her bed while I sat on her spinning chair, I was too anxious to have to sit still. I'm guessing my nervousness was coming out in waves because it wasn't long before Leo, Ivory's bulldog joined me, taking a seat on my lap and giving me puppy eyes.
"I guess I'm not the only one that has missed you" she said and pointed towards Leo, making me giggle "I don't know if he missed me, but I sure missed him" I replied, rubbing his head and playing with his little paws.
"So missy... what brings you here?" she asked, her mom walking in before I could reply. "I know you said you've already had coffee for the day, but you can't say no to my cookies" she teased me and put the plate of cookies on the desk next to me. I giggled, shaking my head. "No one can" I told her and she winked at me. "You know it" she said before closing the door 'to let us continue'.
Ivory looked at the plate eagerly and I passed it to her "If she asks, you ate the cookies" she said, taking a bite out of one. "I know my job" I assured her. A moment of silence passed between us and she looked at me, questioningly, reminding me she had asked me something before ms.Davis interrupted us.
"Right! Well, I missed you and I needed some guidance. No better person to help than you" I said and offered her a weak smile. "Bailey isn't enough anymore?" she said back and I bit the inside of my lip. She was upset. "Don't get me wrong, I know we're besties and all but it seems like she knows much more about you than I do nowadays. Not the best feeling if you ask me" she looked away, continuing to eat her cookie.
I ran a hand through my hair and let out a deep breath I was holding while she was speaking. I knew exactly what she was talking about, I was just hoping she hadn't noticed I had came closer with Bailey than I was with her. I loved her with all my heart, but sometimes her remarks and reactions made me feel a certain type of way. But I couldn't tell her that.
But I did feel bad about keeping her in the dark the way I did, and that's one of the reasons why I had contacted her. I told her exactly that, and proceeded to tell her everything that had happened ever since Aiden came back. Her reaction was... well let's just say I wish I had a camera with me.
"Wait, wait so this Linsday chick..."
"Yes"
"...She came to fight you because she heard you talking about Aiden?"
"Yes"
"...And she thought something was going on between you two?"
"Yup"
"But she didn't actually know something was going on between you two?"
"Technically nothing was going on between us it was just a one-time thing"
"But it almost happened more than once"
"You're not helping"
The more I went into detail about what had been happening all this time, the more confused she got. "I don't get it... why did you keep all this from me?" she asked, and I couldn't tell if it was concern, anger, or something else that I was spotting in her voice. "Did you think I was gonna tell?" her voice lowered. Yes, but also no, but also yes. "It was too much and I was scared to tell anyone. I wasn't even going to tell Bailey about the kiss, she figured it out on her own, I promise" I put a hand on top of her own as to reassure her.
She looked away for a moment. "You should've told me about you and Aiden" she insisted. "I know, but there really was nothing to tell I mean nothing will happen between us anyway, he has a girlfriend" I justified myself.
"When you say it that way, it sounds like if he didn't have a girlfriend something would happen between you two" she suggested and I frowned. Why was she asking anyway? It wasn't a big deal to begin with and she was turning it into rocket physics.
"Is it that big of a deal if I would?" I found myself asking. At the end of the day I still like the guy, even though I couldn't handle how he was acting at the moment. He was a jackass, yes, and he made me want to seriously hurt his ass, but feelings are feelings.
"I guess it's not my place to judge that" she said and looked away again. I nodded, not pushing it. I didn't just want to change the subject anymore, no, I wanted to take a U-turn on it and never look back. It wasn't a simple matter, I knew, I just wished I could talk about it casually, like Aiden was just a high school crush.
I still couldn't wrap my head around that; Aiden was the last person I could ever imagine being with, I didn't realize how quickly he had me wrapped around his finger.
Ivory and I spoke for a bit more, her mom-role coming to play when I told her that I actually did have feelings for Aiden. She began to list everything that could go well and everything that could wrong, ending with "I just don't want to find you in a ditch after Lindsay goes crazy", making us both laugh.
I bit my nail "But what if she breaks up with him?" I asked, making up all scenarios I possibly could to justify to myself that there's a future for us. "I don't think he is her focus anymore, I think it's you that gets her all pressed" she said, thoughtful. "Which means that...?" I urged her to continue "I think if Aiden got with another girl, which wasn't you, she wouldn't care as much. If it was you then, let's say I wouldn't want to be in your position".
Her words put me in thought and for a second I felt like I was stuck in this endless cycle of Lindsay reigning over my life... but then again a scenario in which Aiden and I are together didn't seem very likely anyway, so thinking about all this was pointless in the first place.
An awkward silence fell upon us and Ivory took that as her queue to take the subject elsewhere. "So, what are you planning on doing now? I mean it's clear everyone misses you, and it's perfectly fine if you aren't ready to see them yet, I'm just asking..." she asked and I nodded. "I think I'm ready, I'm just scared to see Aiden's reaction. He has tried talking to me and I dodged him, but there's still things to talk about and I don't know if bringing them up would do us good..."
"I mean, I don't know if saying this will help you or not but when he came over he told me he was pretty mad that you were ignoring him when he was trying to make things right between y'all, so I'd think twice before talking to him" she grabbed another cookie and took a bite, and this time I joined her. Damn that's a good coo- stop missing the point.
Aiden had been relatively quiet lately, but I thought he just respected the fact that I needed some time to handle things, not because he was angry. Wow. "I can see anger behind those eyes..." Ivory sang to me. I nodded, "I can't believe he said he was angry. He came to you, my best friend, and said that? What gives him the right to even be mad in the first place? Wow." I spilled all my thoughts out, feeling myself get angrier and angrier by the minute.
Ivory agreed with me, saying how much of a douche he was and that I could find someone much better if I wanted to, so Aiden could kindly piss off. But her remarks didn't make me laugh this time. I could feel anger coarse through me; the pure audacity this man has.
~~~
That's all for today folks, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did! If you did don't forget to Vote and leave a Comment! (I luv reading them)
I try to keep a steady updating schedule so expect the next chapter next weekend :)
Hope you're doing well! sending lots of love to all
Oh and before I go... Jagger or Noah? *smirk*