Kristal Anderson
I was wrapped in a cocoon of happiness that I never wanted to get out of. This was what heaven felt like I'm sure.
The last thing I wanted was for this to end, this feeling, being held so tightly that it felt like nothing could get through and hurt me, but with the sun beaming right against my face I had no choice but to open my eyes. Lifting my head slightly from the spot on his chest I stared up at him, he was still fast asleep and I took the opportunity to watch him.
He looked like an angel on earth. His face completely relaxed giving him more of an angelic look. I stared taking in every bit of his face, I wanted to engrave that exact moment right into my brain.
His strong arm around my waist pulled me flush against him, keeping me close to him. His hair was a perfect mess on his head, a few strands down on his face. I found myself slowly reach up and guiding those strands away from his face, I was ashamed to admit that I took the opportunity to run my hand through his soft hair a few times.
But that didn't even compare to what my hand decided to do next; as I was bringing my hand back down I stopped at his cheek cupping it slowly and using my thumb to run over his lips. They felt even softer than they looked with a natural peachy pink pigment to them.
As soon as I felt his lips lift upwards under my thumb and his chest grumbled as he chuckled, I realized just how badly I'd fucked up. "God, just kiss me already," His deep groggy morning voice filled my ears.
Panic set within me and I shot up to a sitting position faster than you could blink, "O-oh you're awake," Was all I could come up with.
His smile only grew into a cocky grin, "Sure am," He said still keeping his eyes closed, "and I felt everything darlin,"
My body temperature rose at record speed, I felt hot all over and my cheeks practically burned with embarrassment. I slid out of bed only to realize that I only had on an oversized t-shirt that barely reached my thighs, Kristal from last night was confident and bold now standing in just a shirt, my insecurities started to creep up on me. I turned to face him and found him already staring my way but his eyes weren't on my face, instead they had travelled down to my exposed legs.
His intense gaze only made me feel hotter, I'm pretty sure my heart stopped working for a few seconds too, "I- I don't know what you're talking about," I walked over to my wardrobe to retrieve my white silk robe that I put over my shirt. I turned around as I was trying it up, "Anyways, I thought you'd be gone by now, didn't you have an important meeting?"
"Didn't set my alarm," He lifted his arms and rested his hands beneath his head.
"On purpose?"
He shrugged, "Partially, I just couldn't see myself in a meeting after getting less than two hours of sleep,"
I let out a snicker, "The privilege of being the boss's son, but I feel like I'm also to blame here I made us stay up so late," I walked back towards my bed taking a seat at the edge of the bed.
"Darlin, staying up with you was no sacrifice, drunk Kris is an interesting character,"
I buried my face in my hands as memories of last night came back in snippets, embarrassment swallowing me whole. I should not have drank that much, bringing my hands back down to my lap I finally spoke, "You know what, you're a horrible friend you know? How could you let me drink like that and embarrass myself like that on the dance floor,"
That low grumbly laugh erupted from deep in his chest again, "You were having fun, why would I ever ruin that for you," He said sitting and swinging his feet off the bed, I rolled my eyes. Sliding his feet back into his sneakers he said, "Fuck, I'm starving I need to go get something to eat,"
"No stay," I said way too quickly, "I can go get youâ us something to eat, I mean I made you miss your meeting it's the least that I can do," We stared at each other for a fleeting moment, our eyes communicating all that our words couldn't. The dimpled grin he gave was all that I needed so I got up, "I'll be right back," Just as I was about to walk out I remembered something, "Oh, in the bathroom on the second drawer to the right there's a new toothbrush that you can use," He nodded with a smile.
I was smiling from ear to ear walking down the hall, I was embarrassingly giddy about this.
When I reached the stairs the sound of quick hurried footsteps filled my ears, it sounded like someone was rummaging through the place. My heart stopped for a second and started back up at an alarming speed, but as I descended the stairs I realized that it was just Aunt Jenna.
"Oh no did I wake you dear?" She was all dressed up in a navy blue formal dress, her hair done in loose curls and she had a hand on the couch for support as she put on her second heel.
I smiled shaking my head, "Oh no I woke up on my own, where are you headed in such a rush,"
"Something really urgent came up, I need to go see a friend. I don't know what time I'll be back," She rushed over to her bag on the couch, her hands moving quick to retrieve her red lipstick that she began to apply.
"I-is everything okay? Maybe I could help with something,"
The lipstick clicked shut before she throw it back in her purse shaking her head, "Nothing you need to worry your little head with dear," She started looking around frantically for something, "car keys, car keys," She mumbled to herself.
I looked to see them sitting on bowl we placed on top the shoe rack by the door, "In the bowl,"
"Oh right," Grabbing her purse and her phone, she rushed over to it, "You know the protocol when I leave; lock all doors and windows don't open anything for anyone okay? I love you," As her hand reached for the door something clicked in my head.
The ladder.
Aiden slept here, the ladder was still at my window.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I broke out into a cold sweat, I rushed over to the door, "I-I'll get that for you," I opened the door before she could.
"Thank you dear," She smiled as she took hurried steps towards her car. I was racking my brain for a possible explanation but I came up short, maybe I could just tell the truth. I knew that I'd feel better knowing that I wasn't hiding anything, knowing that I was being fully transparent with her.
But that could also ruin my relationship with her andâ I was pulled out of the trance that I'd be plunged into when her engine roared to life as she turned it on.
And she pulled out of our driveway. Her eyes never going East in the direction of my window. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched her slowly pull away and speed off.
She didn't notice.
The relief I felt was unlike anything I've ever felt before, I shut the door practically jumping with joy not only because because she didn't notice but also because I had the house to myself. I didn't need to be constricted to my bedroom in order to step time with Aiden.
I was practically skipping back to my bedroom with the widest smile on my face. I opened my bedroom door to find it empty, my smile faltered for a moment before I heard the water running in the bathroom.
I took the opportunity to head over to my wardrobe, I took off my robe and instead I put on a pair of sweats just in time before the bathroom opened and Aiden stepped out.
"We can have breakfast down in the kitchen, Aunt Jenna is out," I said with a small smile.
The smile that lined his face the moment he saw me slowly faded, "The ladder. . ." He trailed off.
I shook my head, "It's fine, she didn't see it, she was in such a hurry that she didn't even bother to look in the direction of my window," Walking over to my desk, I picked up my hair tie and slid it onto my wrist, "I think she's seeing someone a-and sometimes it just feels likeâ" I cut myself off shaking my head, "Nevermind,"
"No say it, darlin I'm here to listen to you not judge you," He reassured me.
I held his gaze for a moment before I looked away, "Since I can remember there's been this little voice inside my head that whispers to me and it tells me that she's hiding something from me. I know, I know, I probably sound so ungrateful right now Iâ"
"Kris Look, I know that she's raised and protected you since you lost your mother but that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to feel negatively about some of the things that she does. That doesn't make you ungrateful, that makes you human with feelings," He took a steps forward moving to stand right in front of me, "Though I have yet to meet her in person, I have no shadow of a doubt that she's a great woman I mean she raised you but that gut feeling you have there, there might be something there,"
I took in his words, "I know but doubting her feels so wrong, I don't think I could ever have the balls to investigate it would just feel so so wrong,"
"I could help you, you won't need to get your hands dirty. I can hire someone who will come to us with answers,"
I considered it for a second too long before snapping out of it. Aunt Jenna sacrificed everything for me, her husband left her all because of me, she sacrificed her love life to raise me. What kind of sick person would I be if I hired a private investigator to invade her privacy.
I shook my head frantically, "No, Aiden I can't. That just feels so wrong, I can't," I walked past him the direction of the bathroom, "I'll be right back," I said before shutting the bathroom door behind me.
I took a few deep breaths to calm my nerves before I finally moved to freshen myself up and do my two step skincare routine. When I walked back out I expected the air to be thick with awkward tension but instead I was met with a smiling Aiden who pretended that that conversation didn't even happen.
We headed down to the kitchen where we spent a few minutes debating on what we should make, we ended up agreeing on toast, scrambled eggs and chicken sausages.
I was a horrible cook so while Aiden was in charge of making the scrambled eggs and sausage, I was in charge of making the toast and brewing the coffee.
Being the disaster that I was in the kitchen, I burnt the toast. In that moment I wanted the earth to swallow me whole from the sheer embarrassment I felt. Aiden reassured me over and over again that it was fine.
After we finished, Aiden had the bright idea of setting the table out in the backyard instead of sitting in the kitchen like I usually did. I couldn't remember the last time I had a meal outside, I couldn't have asked for a better way to start the day.
He stared at me waiting for me to take the first bite of the fluffy looking scrambled he made. Taking a bite I hummed in satisfaction as my taste buds welcomed the flavorful eggs.
"So, how are they?" He asked the anticipation visible in his expression.
"Aiden this is amazing," I found myself going for a second bite. He grinned at me obviously proud of himself. He dug in as well, "How's the toast?"
He chuckled, "Toasty,"
"I'm really sorry," I let out a giggle, "I had one task and I managed to fuck it up,"
Shaking his head he answered, "It's fine Darlin, it's honestly not that bad,"
"Liar," I pointed at him with my index finger, "these are horrible,"
He stared at me trying to hold in his laughter but he broke down laughing harder than I'd seen him laugh, "Yeah they're pretty bad," He managed to get out through his laughter, I couldn't help but join in.
Something had changed between us, I couldn't really pin point it. There was something about the way he looked at me that was different or maybe I was looking at him with different eyes or maybe it was just because this was the most normal thing we'd done since we met.
We ate together, getting out any thought that crossed our minds and in the rare moments where there was nothing to say, a comfortable silence filled the space.
We had both taken our last bitesâboth of us completely ignoring the burnt toastâ and we were just about to finish our coffees. I was staring, hard trying to figure him out and figure out what had changed.
I must have been staring a little too hard, "What?" He let out a nervous chuckle.
"Just trying to figure you out, trying to read your eyes,"
"And what do they say?"
I shrugged, "Still trying to figure that out,"
"I could just tell you what they say," He said with a soft smile, I nodded. Instead of responding her reached over and took my hand into his large ones, enveloping it in the warmth of his hands. "You feel it too don't you?" I blinked not knowing what to say, "This thing between us, this tension, this attraction. Please tell me I'm not crazy for feeling this way,"
The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy and it felt like my body had been set on fire, I was sweating or at least I think I was I wasn't too sure. Things were getting blurry. I was still trying to process what he had just said, it didn't feel real. How could a man like him; a man who came from money, a man who was blessed by the genetic God's, a man who could probably have any woman he wanted was telling me that he was feeling. . . things for me.
Me?
That was really hard to believe.
As much as my heart was practically jumping in my chest begging me to tell him how I truly felt; how I thought about him way more often than a friend should, and how I sometimes found myself thinking of him in ways that a friend shouldn't. But the rational part of me was keeping me grounded.
I nodded confirming his assumption, "I- do, I feel it too but you know we can't act on it,"
"Why not,"
"Because that'll only complicate things," I slid my hand out of his grip and got up.
"Kris it doesn't have to be complicated," I started gathering our dishes.
"I better go wash these," Without giving him the opportunity to respond I walked back inside to the kitchen.
Conversations about feelings scared me, and what scared me the most was the fact that I might have given in to my heart's pleas and told him everything.
Walking over to the counter, I placed the dishes on it, "Is this because of your father?" I jumped at the sound of his voice, I turned to face him with a hand over my heart.
"Yes Aiden, yes, it's because of that and many other reasons. I'm not what you need right now,"
"Darlin, I think I'm more than capable of deciding what I need right now," His voice was kept soft and low.
"I've got a murderous father on my tail, I'm basically a prisoner in my own home. What could I possibly offer you right now aside from sleepless nights of you worrying about me,"
"Kris you're not defined by your trauma, when I look at you I see beyond all of that. I see you, I see a beautiful woman, a kind woman, a funny woman, a woman stole my heart," He approached me and with my back against the counter I had nowhere to go so I placed a hand on his chest to stop him from getting too close.
He brought his hand to rest over mine on his chest and that's when I started to feel his heartbeat against my palm, it was beating just as fast as mine, "Aiden," My voice came just above a whisper, "I just don't wanna be a burden to anybody else,"
He gave my hand a squeeze, "Tell me who,"
"Who what?"
"Who made you feel like you were a burden, I just need a name," That made me smile, I couldn't help it. But I just shook my head, "Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone could care for you without feeling like you're a burden to them?"
My head slowly dropped, that question hit me like a bag of bricks. I couldn't bring myself to answer, I felt a lump in my throat and I refused to cry in front of him,
"Aiden. . . I think you should leave," I said very softly.
He stayed quiet for a moment before his hand moved from on top of mine towards my chin lifting it up slowly, he held my gaze for a few moments reading me, memorizing me I wasn't quite sure.
And then he left, without another word.
The rest of the day I spent on the first floor, avoiding my room like the plague because I knew that I'd be at my window the first chance I got. I'd tried to watch a movie in practically every genre in search of something that would quiet my thoughts if him.
I did everything I could to erase that moment from my memory and I tried to pretend like his words didn't mean anything.
But I failed miserably, he was all I heard and all I saw and all I felt.
But I did the right thing. It was for the
best. . . right?
The more time that past the more I questioned if I had done the right thing.
Would it be so bad if we. . .
No stop. I scolded myself.
The sun was starting to set and there was still no sign of Aunt Jenna which made this a whole lot worse, because being around her kept the rational part of my brain afloat.
Now I was questioning every single word that I said and my heart was taking over.
Would it be so bad to have a partner, someone I could rely on that wasn't Aunt Jenna or Thea?
I got up and rushed out the front door, I ran across the street towards his front door and I rang the doorbell before I gave myself a chance to reconsider.
I played with my fingers as it felt like he was taking forever to answer but eventually he did. "Kris? Is everything okay?" He asked but it felt like the cat cut my tongue, now that he was standing right in front of me my mind went blank. I couldn't think of the right words to say. He looked behind me in the direction of my house for a split second, "Did you jump out your window again? Did you hurt yourself?" My silence was making him panic yet I still couldn't find the words. I felt so stupid in that moment and I considered turning back and running back inside my house, "Kris I told you that you can call me or text me whenever you want out, I'll come for yoâ"
"Kiss me."
Don't we all just love it when the slow burn finally starts burning heheheâ¤ï¸
Anyways thanks for sticking around for another chapter my loves<33
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