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Gwen wished that she could say that she didn't expect this to happen, but she would be lying. She wanted things to be different, but instead there she was, locked into a bathroom stall while crying into her hands, drying her tears in her hair only for her to be drenched in tears a minute later.
She was supposed to be in Transfiguration, their second to last Transfiguration lesson before she started the O.W.L.s. She had to excuse herself mid-lesson as she felt herself about to burst in tears.
"I'm not supposed to be in here, so please tell me you're in one of these stalls Gwen." Gwen instantly stopped whimpering at the sound of Fred's voice. "I'm here," Gwen replied lamely. "Good. I was feeling scared that it was Moaning Myrtle, not you." Fred replied with a chuckle.
Gwen laughed slightly and wiped some tears from under her eyes. "Are you, alright?" Fred asked. She heard a slight creak and assumed that Fred had leant against the wood of the bathroom stall. "Not at all."
"Do you wanna talk about it or do you want a hug?" Fred offered. Gwen shrugged, even though he couldn't see her doing it. "Is both okay?" She asked after clearing her voice. "Both is great."
"I feel that I'm doubting myself more and more. I keep forgetting things and, it's making me panic." Gwen admitted. "There's nothing wrong with that Gwen. Everyone who gives a damn about these exams goes through it, I'm sure they do." Fred assured. He couldn't exactly speak on his behalf as both he and Gwen knew that the exams were not his and George's top priorities.
"I know that. But a lot of people seem to have it easier than me. And I know that that's not true because a lot of people have to work so hard to do well but, I still can't help but feel this way. It also doesn't help that my brain doesn't work like it's supposed to. Whenever I look at the words written down, they seem to mush together as one and, it takes me a while to understand what it says and means. It makes me feel-"
"-Helpless?" Fred suggested when Gwen didn't respond immediately. Gwen shook her head. "Stupid. It makes me feel stupid."
"Gwen, you're not stupid. You're far from it." Fred said as his heart broke slightly by the tone of her voice. "Maybe I'm not but, that doesn't mean that I don't feel like I'm not." Her voice was barely above a whisper and, Fred felt thankful that he can even catch what she was saying. "I feel as if I'm failing and letting people down."
"That's so not true, Gwen. You're not letting anyone down. All the teachers say that you're doing so exceptionally well." Fred reassured. Gwen fell silent for a few seconds, knowing full well what her response was but wasn't sure if she should say it.
"Gwen?"
"I don't mean the professors. I feel like I'm letting my family down. My parents, my brothers, they're all remarkable people who were all so good at being Aurors. I want to be like them. That way I am the closest to ever knowing if I made them proud." Gwen admitted. She started toying with the sleeve of her robe. She usually preferred fiddling with her wand but, she left it in the classroom in her haste to leave.
"You know that you don't need to be like them to be good, right? I'm not saying that I know how your parents were- I never met them after all-but I'm sure they would be more than proud of you." Fred said. He was now leaning against the stall, not sure which position to put his long legs in.
"I'm crying in the bathroom. I practically turned myself into Moaning Myrtle, I don't see what's to be proud of." Gwen said. Fred let out a laugh at her comment. "You're nothing like Moaning Myrtle, Gwen. You work so hard and don't let anything stop you and, you have the best humour I've ever witnessed. Not only that but you're amazing as a person and, you're one of the sweetest and most caring people in the world. It's no wonder why I- why everyone loves you."
Grabbing a piece of toilet paper, Gwen wiped at her runny nose. "Saying that everyone loves me is quite an overstatement," Gwen replied as she opened the stall door much to the surprise of Fred. Fred instantly smiled reassuring at her only to start grinning when she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. "I think otherwise. Even Snape hates you less compared to the other Gryffindors."
"Yeah, right." Gwen let go of Fred went towards the sink to wash her hands. Looking at the mirror, she could see how red and puffy her eyes were and closed her eyes. Fred took a step towards her, now more relaxed as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers. "Did anyone see you entering the girls' bathroom?" Gwen asked, splashing water in her face.
"Not really, almost everyone is in class at this hour. McGonagall suggested that I come to check on you anyway. So, it shouldn't be a big deal if I get caught." Fred explained. Gwen turned on her heal and looked at Fred who waiting patiently.
"Thanks a lot, by the way. If you didn't come here than I would have kept weeping and ended up a bigger mess than I already am." Gwen said. The bathroom was empty excluding the pair, and both were talking quietly in the silence, something which suited Gwen a lot. "You're not a mess. You're just stressed. And you're not a mess in the physical sense either, you're perfect in that aspect." Fred complimented although he didn't seem to be entirely conscious of what he was saying.
Gwen raised her eyebrows in amusement and Fred instantly turned red. "Shut up." He said almost immediately to which Gwen raised her hands in surrender. "I didn't say a thing. And if we're doing compliments than you're not a mess in the physical aspect either." Gwen said with a smile and Fred scoffed. "As if you needed to tell me." Gwen let out a laugh and Fred joined her as they left the bathroom and made their way back to the classroom.
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Since the O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s were starting in the middle of the upcoming week, the prefect duties heavily weighed onto the sixth year prefects.
Gwen was thankful for that as she had the evenings off and more time for her to revise. The library was also open for a few extra hours which was the reason why she, Cedric and Lee were there late at night. Where usually, disruption and noise pollution followed Lee everywhere, now he was only silent. Only talking whenever he needed to ask Gwen a question about Defence Against the Dark Arts.
Cedric has been silent as well as he ran over his Charms notes, the only subject that he felt a bit wonky about yet still was great at. He would never admit it because he was too modest but he was great at practically everything. He did however asked Gwen for some help in Charms and Defence, two subjects that he insisted that Gwen was better at than him although she seriously doubted that. He, in turn, helped her with any problems related to Herbology and Potions.
"Cedric, do you happen to have the divination book with you?" Lee asked, breaking the silence. Cedric looked up, a look of confusion on his face as he rubbed his cheek, leaving a trail of ink behind. "Um, no. I don't even have divination." He admitted.
"Thought so. I'll go grab a copy." Lee said as he stood up from his chair and made his way towards the shelves. "Do you have any notes on the Elixir to Induce Euphoria? I keep mixing up the ingredients." Gwen asked as she flipped through her sloppy notes that she had written in a rush during Potions class.
"Those I do have," Cedric answered as he ran his ink-stained fingers through his hair, messing it up greatly. "Hold on a second." Gwen interrupted as she grabbed his hands. Pointing her Rowan wood wand his palms, she mumbled 'scourgify' cleaning them almost instantly. "You've had ink everywhere and, even though you look cute with ink on your cheek, it's not the most sanitary," Gwen stated as she pointed her wand near his cheek.
"I'll use the same spell to clean your cheek. I always feel the need to warn people what I'm gonna use when I'm pointing my wand at their face." Gwen continued. Cedric smiled at her and grabbed her wand from her hand and placed it onto the table. Holding her hands in his, he leaned in a kissed the inside of her palms affectionately before letting go of them. "I couldn't do that with Lee around," Cedric explained as he reached into his bag and handed Gwen his Potions notes.
Looking at the parchment in front of her, she could see how more organized he was and how much neater handwriting he had. "It's taking him some time to find that book," Gwen said as she realized how long it was taking the Gryffindor.
"It's a busy time and, everyone is taking books left and right. Maybe that's why. By the way, I know that you don't want to get side-tracked but, I thought it can lighten the mood a bit." Cedric explained. Gwen looked at him expectantly, curious on whatever the Hufflepuff was going to say.
"Colour me intrigued, Cedric Diggory," Gwen stated as she placed her chin on top of her hand and leant against the table. "The Quidditch World Cup is this Summer." Cedric started. Gwen grinned brightly. "I know. I'm so excited. I don't know who to root for. Maybe the Irish or the Welsh, I have a soft spot for them. Did you know that my mother's family lived in Wales?" Gwen asked.
Cedric smiled fondly at her. It happened quite often. His Lyn gets excited and enthusiastic about something that her green eyes light up and, the skin around her eyes wrinkled from smiling. "I did not. Do you speak Welsh?" He asked, slowly derailing from the point of the conversation.
"A bit, actually," Gwen admitted as she fiddled with the wand in her hand. "I'll teach you sometime. Not right now with the O.W.L.s but when we finish." Cedric's eyes widened. "Speaking of after the exams, back to the original topic. The final is going to take place in England this year and, I hope you don't think it's too forward of me but, my dad got an extra ticket and asked me to bring with me anyone that I liked."
Gwen smiled brightly at him. "Really? Are you sure you want me around? You might get sick of me." Gwen said. Cedric rolled his eyes. "As if that can ever happen." Gwen laughed. "Don't be so sure, I can get pretty annoying. But thanks for the offer, I have to ask my brother first, though." Gwen admitted and, Cedric nodded. "Of course, just know that I do hope that you say yes. I don't like to imagine spending the whole Summer without seeing you."
They heard someone clear their throat. Both looking up, they found Lee covering his eyes with the palm of his hand and the divination book in hand. "I'm taking every precaution. Please inform me of whether or not you two are snogging for me to be safe and not scarred for life." Lee exclaimed in a monotone voice. Gwen sighed and rubbed at her eyes. "Open them, you idiot," Gwen replied. Lee sat down in the chair, completely oblivious to Gwen sitting across him, shaking her head.
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Gwen was trying to block everything and every voice out, not wanting anyone to interrupt her concentration. Some students were skimming through the notes, trying to get whatever information that they could. Others were either chatting with their friends as if nothing special is happening while others like Gwen were trying to stay calm and not piss themselves.
Gwen along with the other fifth years was waiting outside the Great Hall which was supposedly modified for the exam. Gwen was only milliseconds away from starting her first O.W.L. examination which happened to be History of Magic. History of Magic wasn't a subject that she necessarily needed to get a good mark in but, she still wanted to do well. And she was nervous as hell.
Gwen, although trying to ignore any distractions still wasn't all by herself as she stood only a step away from her group of friends. Alicia and Angelina were talking quietly while Lee was asking George questions about the subject which the latter didn't know the answer to, much to the frustration of Lee.
Fred was the closest to her and was deadly silent. Not that he particularly cared for History of Magic but, he knew how nervous Gwen must be feeling even though she tried to hide it. He knew that she didn't want any extra distractions so, he stayed quiet for her sake. He did however decide to grab her hand to try and provide her comfort while simultaneously making sure that he didn't bother her.
Gwen didn't say anything, she did, however, smile quite fondly, something that Fred didn't catch but their friends sure did.
The doors of the Great Hall finally opened. Gwen felt her heart drop from her chest and a bunch of dates that she had memorised suddenly melted into one incomprehensible large number. They were called in in alphabetical order by Professor McGonagall, meaning that from her friend group, Gwen had to enter first. When her name was called out, her friends wished her good luck and, even Professor McGonagall patted Gwen on her shoulder as a form of comfort for the young Gryffindor.
Gwen took out two quill and three inkwells as she wanted to be sure that she doesn't run out halfway through the exam. She kicked her bag under her chair right after she closed it. Angelina and Lee were in the row next to Gwen, as both their last names beginning with 'J' so, they weren't so far away. They both gave Gwen a smile and thumbs up and, Lee made sure that Gwen definitely could see him mouthing her good luck. Fred and George, however, were almost at the very back, much to the chagrin of Professor McGonagall who wanted them to be near the front so that she could keep an eye on them.
The exam started at nine sharp, as a giant clock was placed in the centre of the room as well as a giant pendulum that swung left to right even though it barely provided any purpose. The exam moved at a fast pace, as the students had a lot to write with each lengthy question. Gwen was sure that she missed a few dates and instead rounded most of them to the century they were in. She was afraid that that would cost her some marks but, she tried her best.
The two weeks of exams didn't go as bad as Gwen initially thought they would. Apart from History of Magic and Arithmancy, all the other exams had a practical exam as well. Gwen was pretty sure that she nailed her Charms, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration exams, although she was worried because she didn't manage to vanish her ferret completely until a couple of tries.
She did quite well in her potions practical which was most likely due to Snape being absent but, she messed up a bit in two questions that were about the Polyjuice potion. On the other hand, in herbology, the opposite occurred with her acing her written exam but ended up leaving the examination room with her hands covered in bites after she accidentally offended Fanged Geranium.
When it came to her electives, Care of Magical Creatures and Arithmancy she was pretty sure that she mixed hell up yet she didn't care as much as she didn't need them.
All in all, Gwen was proud to say that she came out of the exam period (almost) unscathed and for that she was proud of herself and decided to celebrate by sleeping for twenty hours straight.
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