Note: I am so sorry for how long it's been. Not being able to post for you honestly tears me up inside. Yesterday night I was so, so especially stressed out about it, because the last thing I want is for you to think I'm out here living it up and ignoring you. Noââall I want to do is write for you!!! If I had the means to post once a day, I would be doing it!!!! And the fact that I get so busy some weeks and, because I hate posting meaningless fluff chapters, don't have the time to make anything cool and awesome for youââwell, like I said, that literally tears me up.
Thank you for sticking with me. Writing in high school was definitely much easier than college, but nonetheless I am never ever leaving you. EVER. I won't stop until I'm in so many bookstores that I start evading your life not only on your devices, but EVERYWHERE.
Okay, enough of me making myself more emotional. Let's begin.
PREVIOUSLY ON THE CLASSIX: Emeray and Gerald were just talking, and he told her she's actually super sheltered and that Norax purposefully makes her distracted sometimes so she forgets other things. For example: Her brother. Where the hell is her brother!?! Oh, that's right, Norax made her more focused on the whole dating contract thing. Hmmm. Also, Emeray is still in that weird eerie building on the edge of the city. We're all creeped out and confused about it. Let's find out why she's here, shall we?????
EMERAY
The only thing on my mind when Gerald leaves the room is Dalton Parvenu. My brother. My brother. Before the Darkening, when I saw his face on those signs . . . IââI threw a fit. And then I just forgot. How did Norax actually succeed in doing thatââin making me forget all about something I'd been so steadily focused on?
My stomach delves deeper in its unsettlement as Gerald's words come back to me: When Norax has a celebrity as popular as you and Cartney are at the moment, she's going to make you focus on that part, and only that part of your life as much as possible.
He isn't wrong. When I'm not on set filming, my life is literally centered around my coffee dates with Cartney. Not on where my brother is. Not on how the other members might be perceiving me. Not on anything, anything other than what the world might be thinking of the way we're holding hands.
It makes me think: What else has Norax made me forget about?
Dalton's name is perched on my lips when I dash through the doors to the other room. I'm ready to scream it out the moment I lock eyes with Norax, but much to my dismay, she isn't there at all. Instead, I'm greeted by the confused and slightly surprised faces of Kaytee and Till, who are seated at a long metal table with four empty chairs.
"Oh," Kaytee says.
"Hey," Till says.
"Hi," I say.
And then there's silence.
A lifetime seems to pass by as Kaytee lifts up her chin, peering over at me in a way that seems to shrink me down to the size of a toddler. I get the urge to apologize for causing an disturbance simply in walking in, in existing. It feels like I've just joined the Famoux all over againââthe way I'm suddenly nervous to do anything that might even slightly disrupt the perfect lives being lived out before me.
What surprises me the most about this, however, isn't that I'm feeling this way, but rather how I'm feeling this way again. That means that somewhere in the months between now and joining, I actually stopped worrying about being a disturbance to the other members. I actually got comfortable enough not to worry.
But that was before the dating contract. And before the Darkening. And before Foster died. And before Kaytee decided she hated me.
Forcing myself to stay brave, I take in a deep breath and feign optimism. Perhaps Norax saying that Kaytee wants to sabotage me is just another distraction, I tell myself. Perhaps she's not actually as irritated with me as I've been led to believe.
Only one way to find out: To speak. "Doââdo you guys know what's going on?" I ask, painfully maladroit. Here I am again, speaking the way did when I first joined. Where's all that Emeray-Essence-confidence gone when I need it?
Till shakes her head. "Norax just told us to be here."
"Me too," I say.
As I speak, a smirk stretches across Kaytee's face. I can feel my stomach drop almost immediately.
"Well, that's a surprise to me," she mutters. It's an unconvincing mutterââone she blatantly wants the whole room to hear. And I hear it, all right. "I thought Norax would've at least told her favorite child."
"Kayteeââ"
As Till scolds her, I'm left standing by the entrance, letting all my optimism fly out the window as Kaytee's words soak into my brain. So Norax wasn't exaggerating. Which means whatever she mentioned about Kaytee wanting to sabotage me. . .
For a moment my chest constricts as I remember a time when things were so much simpler; when Kaytee was the first person to accept me as a member.
How can it be possible that she hates me so much now?
"I'm going to . . ." My sentence fades off when I run into the door. I grip the knob with ferocity, not even bothering to finish. At this point I'll stand outside with the guards in that eery lightââanything but stay here.
While I shove open the door, someone from the outside pulls. I run right into Race before I can stop myself.
"Whoa," he says. "In a hurry?"
I throw out the first excuse I can think off. "Bathroom."
Unlike his girlfriend, Race doesn't seem to despise every part of me at the moment. As the doors click shut, I hear him say with amusement, "Sounds urgent."
I'm able to be alone, pacing around the waiting room for a few minutes more before the door opens again. My nerves tense up, then soften when I turn toward the entrance and realize it's Chapter.
"Hey, Sticks," he says.
"Hey, Stones," I say.
In the privacy of this room, he's able to give me a kiss. Pulling back, he gestures to the other door. "Is everyone else in there already?"
"Yes."
"And you're out here still?"
"Yes."
"I'm guessing they're not the most welcoming bunch this evening?"
"Till and Race are fine," I say. "But Kaytee . . . she doesn't seem to be too happy with me right now. Or, at all, really."
Despite my frown, Chapter grins. "That's funny, because her boyfriend doesn't seem to be too happy with me either. And neither does yours."
I give him a look. He laughs.
"Not Cartney," I say. "I actually think he's quite fond of you."
This makes him laugh a little more. He nods to the door again, giving my hand a squeeze. "We should probably go inââyou know, before Norax gets here and makes a big scene about us being in a room together."
"You're right."
I take a deep breath when we walk back in, hoping that Till and Kaytee have moved on to a new topic other than me. But they don't seem to have.
"ââbecause you're being unnecessarily rude," Till whispers to Kaytee, answering a question I didn't hear.
She hums a laugh. "I am hardly being unnecessary."
Her wording, for a moment, strangely reminds me of Cartney. He always responds to me in a similar fashion: Unnecessary, I say, and Hardly, he replies. Just hearing the words coming out of Kaytee's mouth seems to fuse them together in a way that feels oddly harmonious for a couple that always seemed to clash with dissonance.
When Kaytee turns back to me, her eyes fall instantly on my hand in Chapter's before looking away entirely. As we take two of the last three chairs at the metal table, I watch her as she mindlessly fidgets with her nails. Even though it's pretty warm in here, she's still wearing her bright blue coat, all buttoned up like she has somewhere else to be. I recall how she lent that coat to me once, when I didn't have one. So little and so long ago.
I sit across from nobody. The space where a chair and a person should've been is potent; I feel my stomach turn just looking at it, even for a moment.
"It's been a while since we've all been together like this," comments Race.
Just as he says it, he coughs, leaning back in his chair like he wants to take it back. Silence stretches over us, and the empty space ahead of me seems to grow exponentially within it. Our places at the table may be different, but there is no denying how eerily similar this gathering feels to our last during the Darkening. For a while, we just float in itââin the thickness of the presence filling up every inch of the room. It isn't until the door opens once more that we all jump back into our skin.
"Sorry I'm late. Had to pick something up on my way here."
At the sound of Norax's voice, my initial goal comes back to mind in a flash. I straighten up in my seat, ready to mention Dalton Parvenu the moment she regards me. But she doesn't just yetââinstead, she merrily takes off her coat, not looking at any of us in particular as she goes on with her explanation.
"I thought this meeting we're about to have was going to happen later, but with the new scheduling I jut worked out, we'll have to move a little faster now. You see, I have some really, really cool news for you guys . . . for the five of you."
I glance at Chapter, who's got the same look on his face as me. I squeeze his hand for what feels like the millionth time since sitting down. Luckily, Norax hasn't noticed or pointed out how we're sitting next to each other yet. It feels strangely like I'm getting away with some kind of crime.
"Um." Till's voice seems to share our slight worry. "So, what might this really cool news you're talking about be, boss?"
"Oh, me explaining it won't do any of it justice," she insists.
"Then . . . who will?"
Norax hands her coat to the guard who came in with her. Finally, she stops to look at us, one by one down the table. All the while, she wears a smile so wide that I already fear its causeââbecause whatever it is, I know we won't like it.
"I brought us some new perspective," Norax tells us.
The table goes even stiller than it was, if that's even possible.
New perspective.
This time, Chapter squeezes my hand.
"Lately, we've been lacking our unity," she continues. "Foster unified the five of you. He was able to bring everyone together no matter how terrible a situation. That, we believe, is why our terrible threat, DEFED, decided to take him out next. They knew we would struggle without him, and we are."
She looks to the guard beside her, giving him a nod. He nods in return, moving back to the door. As he turns the knob, Norax says one last thing.
"In short, we desperately need someone who's going to bring us the changesââand the unityâânecessary for the Famoux to survive past this dark time. And I know just the person." She holds out her arm with dramatic gusto. "Your newest member."
Her last words send a shock through my whole body. A new member. After all these months, someone is coming in. Someone is filing the spot for Foster. And just like she did with me, Norax didn't even think to warn the other members until the very last minute.
And just when I thought I couldn't get any more shocked or unpreparedââ
The door opens.
And I come close to breaking Chapter's hand, I grip it so tightly.
It's like some kind of cavern is openedââlike there's a port connecting Clarus Creek to this room, and the water's flooding in. Every single part of me feels as if it's been submerged into pure ice.
Our newest member doesn't look anything like we do.
Not the same blonde hair.
Not the same blue eyes.
No, his hair is brown.
And his eyes are brown too.
And from all the way across the room, over the empty space where Foster should've been sitting, those brown eyes choose to settle right on me.
"Hey," he says. Carstan van Horne says. "I'm excited to join the team."
xxx
All right. Okay. Yeah. That's new and different.
Tell me your thoughts.
If you're wondering, the Fanatix is not gone . . . there are just some new plans for how they come about. I CANNOT wait for you to figure everything out. I'm finally getting a grip on this story!!!!
Now, tell me something good about today.
Tell me what you want to be when you're all grown up. (I'd like to be a writer.)
Tell me honestly anything. Your name?? I want to make you a character. Your story?? I want to read it. I am so swamped beyond belief but I WANT TO PROCRASTINATE BY READING YOUR WORDS!!!
I love you so much. Please don't ever forget that. And also don't forget that:
Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but haters make you famoux. Stay classy, stay classix.