Gripping the edges of the sheets, opening my eyes with a dry taste in my mouth.
Not from the alcohol I drank but rather a distaste for what had transpired last night.
My eyes sullied in sand, lifting my hand to wipe them off.
Y/N - eugh.
Smacking my lips and swallowing to keep some saliva inside, I felt a jolt beside me. Making me curious about who was in my bed.
Turning my head to my left, I saw jet black hair but not just one, but two. Albeit one was shorter than the other.
My hand lifted to scratch the top of my head, confused on who it could be.
Glaring at the shorter hair, thinking who it could be.
It's definitely Seulgi-noona, I think?
Lifting the blanket up just a bit, revealing the two culprits in my bed.
Y/N - huh.
Seulgi-noona and Haewon.
But, I thought?
Both of them shuddered, immediately groaning.
Seulgi-noona aggressively grabbed the blanket from my hold, putting it back on herself.
An odd pair even though what transpired last night must've given her some uncalled for emotions.
Shrugging it off, my attention was now brought to myself as I felt a chill down my thighs.
Taking one leg and putting it outside of the bed.
Hm.
Why are my pants off?
And only in my underwear?
We didn't do it right?
The girls are fully clothed, both in their pyjamas but somewhat recalling that I cam-
Oh, right.
My temple ached as I closed my eyes in realisation.
Y/N - fuck, right.
Drinking too much for myself last night, after what happened between somewhat of a conversation between me, Haewon and Seulgi-noona.
Now I get why my head was also pulsing in soreness.
Y/N - and it's Christmas day too
Moving to the side, now sitting on the edge of the bed.
Sighing once more, before standing up and walking over to my closet.
Opening it and grabbing some sweatpants and putting them on.
My eyes remained focused on the two, wondering what had transpired between them last night for them to be both in my bed.
Looking for answers, my feet silently walked along the floorboards over to Haewon's side.
Squatting down and placing a hand on her head, gently caressing it back and forth.
Clearing my throat to get rid of my morning voice, only a soft monotone voice came out.
Y/N - Miahne Haewon.
Feeling angry with myself,
I've always felt conflicted with my feelings of love, not wanting to hurt anyone because of it.
I never wanted to hurt Jimin nor Jinae, everyone dear to me.
Because of how I thought to myself,
Silently lost in a world I've kept to.
The corner of my lip lifted, smiling warm heartedly.
Y/N - I love you in a way that I'm scared of. The same I did with Jimin. I thought, the both of us telling you that she loved me too would make you leave too.
My smile faded, my eyes looking to the ground in regret.
Y/N - maybe you will now. Believe me I cherish you like no other. I don't want to be a scumbag and have Seulgi-noona and you fight over me. So I think it's better for you to cut me out of your life.
Tears formed in the corners of my right eye, my heart hurt telling her how I feel about everything right now.
Almost slurring my words, I shook my head to gather myself.
Y/N - it- it's best for you to do it.
Stuttering in how much my heart hurt,
The last thing I wanted was to do something like this.
Jimin left me the same way, it's only fair that I do the same.
Y/N - I- I- I don't know what else to tell you except that I'm sorry.
Letting go of her head, my other hand placed itself on my thigh. Preparing to lift myself up.
I think I should go visit some old habits.
Before I could do anything more, a hand grabbed my wrist as I was about to turn away.
Turning my head back to face whoever did that, I was met with tired and groggy eyes from Haewon.
Hae - oppa.
Y/N - yeah?
My voice was almost gone, not sure how I should respond to her.
Hae - don't go.
Y/N - I'm not.
My body fully turned back to her, squatting back down. Being met eye to eye with her.
Hae - I heard everything.
Y/N - I- I suppose you did.
My legs felt like they were about to give out, my shins burning but I just wanted to know what she had to say.
Hae - I'm not letting you leave me.
Looking away from her, my cheek showed to her to hide the fact that my tears were already streaming down my face.
Y/N - mmhm.
Nodding, it felt cold on my face. Her hand on my cheek, pulling me away to face her.
Hae - I'm not leaving you either.
My teeth gritted against each other, nose stuffy almost dripping with snot.
Hae - I'm Jinae's mama right? But that also means I will be there for you. Whether you like it or not.
She looked serious but through that exterior, she was always the funny, explosively outrageous Haewon I loved her for,
Hae - I- I'm not angry for what you did. Not anymore. Seulgi-unnie has probably loved you longer than I have, and that's okay.
Her hold on my wrist tightened, the sudden motion of her pulling me closer where she wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me.
Hae - I love you just the same, and I know you do too. You're all what matters to me, one woman isn't gonna stop me from wanting to do everything with you.
Choking on my words, wanting to say something. I hugged her back, holding her tight.
Hae - let's just give things a shot with Seulgi-unnie. I wouldn't be surprised if Jimin-unnie feels the same again or everyone else.
Behind my ear, she sighed but quickly remained back to her soothing voice.
Hae - but, I'll let them know who's the boss around here.
Y/N - H- H-
Trying to say something, only air came out. But I could do nothing but cry on her shoulder, her warmth keeping me steady.
Hae - you're the best father anyone could ask for, and maybe someday I could be the best mother too. But only with you.
She hugged me warmly, sobs echoed throughout the room, my chest tightened with remorse but my connection to her still unaware of its current situation but it's safe to assume that it's somewhat fixed.
Only I could want someone to hold me like this, and it was a feeling like no other.
Gently pushing me away, we were once met eye to eye though my vision blurry from the tears.
Feeling her lips on mine, temporarily stopping my sobs.
Her hand on my cheek, wiping away the tears.
For a few seconds, it felt like heaven to me before she pulled away from the kiss, her head remaining where it was.
Hae - don't cry okay? We're okay. I'm okay.
Nodding slowly at her, control of my body came back to me. My hand took itself away from her to go to my face, wiping away the tears.
Y/N - m- mianhae
Hae - stop apologising my baby. Aigoo.
She pulled me closer to her chest, feeling the warmth of her heart, its slow comforting rhythm comforting me.
Her hands around my head, my hair being caressed.
Hae - this is the first time I've seen you cry, you know that? Now I know how to comfort you.
Gripping the edge of her t-shirt, calming myself down.
Hae - it just surprised me last night
A soft sigh came from her, her soothing voice unchanged.
Hae - I was mad for a bit but I realised, with only women around you all the time. What did I expect? It was bound to happen sooner or later, though I did guess Seulgi-unnie liked you when I first met her.
Listening to her, it provided a sort of catharsis for me.
Hae - she wouldn't stop looking at your- lower area.... That and her eyes said it, girl's intuition. Also I think Lily likes you too.
Suddenly laughing to herself, I just loved the way that she could make any situation into something better.
Hae - oh I think Yoona as well. But oh well, I claimed you first. I'm fighting for your love but I think I'm number one right?
With a soft hum coming out of my mouth, my tears had stopped.
Hae - see? I wasn't worried about anything after all. But I bet you were worried about me too. That's what I like about you.
Another hum came out, pulling myself back to look at her. She smiled at me.
Hae - don't say stuff like that again alright?
Y/N - I- I won't.
Finally, my voice came out. Though a bit softer than earlier.
Hae - I'm gonna marry you alright? When everything's said and done.
The unexpected confession made me blush a bit, but she was worse. Her face beet red, embarrassed but I applaud her for having the courage to say it.
Hae - a- and I mean it- you wait ti- till NMIXX is over an- and I'm gonna marry you.
Y/N - not until I do it first.
With a soft smile on my face, we both looked at each other.
Glad that our fears were far from reach now.
After a long while of holding each other, I failed to notice that my entire lower half of my body became numb.
I fell on my ass, making Haewon look at me with surprise as I let go of her.
Hae - are you alright?!
Y/N - I'm alright, j- just numb.
The sudden exclamation of a groan from behind Haewon surprised us, our eyes darting to look at Seulgi-noona rubbing her eyes while I got up and brushed away the dust from my butt.
Seulgi - goo- good morning *yawn*
Y/N - noona, good morning.
Seulgi - hm? You're awake
Y/N - very
Haewon - unnie, good morning
Seulgi - good morning to you Haewon.
Fixing her tank top, she shuddered a bit from the chill in the room
Seulgi - it's so cold
Y/N - it was snowing yesterday, remember?
Seulgi - mmhm
The both of them looked at me, my arms crossed.
Y/N - I'm gonna make breakfast for everyone
Seulgi - don't. Your mess from last night is still there
Y/N - mess? What mess?
Hae - you don't remember?
Y/N - I'm severely hungover
Hae - right. I'll get up with you
Seulgi - count me in
They threw the blanket off of them, Haewon brandishing more of a pyjama set compared to noona's more casual look.
Seulgi - Y/N, baby. This is why I told you to stop drinking
Confused, I scratched the top of my head.
Y/N - why? What happened last night that caused a mess?
Hae - I was in the guest room and I heard you groaning to yourself. I woke up and I saw you shirtless and on the balcony puking, then Seulgi-unnie woke up too. And we saw a lot of the pillows on the ground, you stole the ones off everyone's head and threw them around
My eyes widened, diverting my gaze from them. Embarrassed by my drunken antics.
Y/N - goddamn it
Seulgi - it's fine, we cleaned off the puke but when we brought you to your room, you kept groaning out our names and you took off your pants
Y/N - that explains that
Hae - I could get your shirt on but you kept insisting to be in your underwear, for a second I thought we were gonna do it
Seulgi - huh? You guys did it already?
Hae - n- no. but I thought it was time.
Y/N - besides that, I'm sorry for putting up with me
Seulgi - not my first time baby, you're fine
Hae - but it's mine. Next time you're laying off the alcohol, because we saw about 5 bottles of Soju on the floor too
Y/N - I must've bought them from the convenience store
Seulgi - aren't they closed late?
Y/N - then I don't know, okay.
Noona shrugged it off, but she stepped towards me. Leaning in to give me a quick kiss on the lips before caressing my head and seductively bringing my chin up to her.
Seulgi - me and Haewon talked it out last night, so I can properly give you a taste of me
Y/N - h- huh.
Turning my head towards Haewon, she didn't seem surprised but looked eager for some reason.
Hae - oh yeah?
Walking over to me and stood beside noona, her hands took my cheeks and pulled me in. kissing me for a few seconds before pulling away.
Hae - there, I reaffirmed it.
Seulgi - there we go
Y/N - you two sure surprise me.
Hae - it's gonna be hard fighting for your attention now, you got Jinae and Seulgi-unnie to watch over
Seulgi - are you saying that I'm like a pet?
Hae - no unnie, just I know how much you like to cuddle up to him
Y/N - that's normal for us though
Hae - but I do the same
Y/N - alright alright, how about this? You take each side and I let Jinae on my lap or something
Seulgi - that was the plan anyways. Jinae's love for you is unrivalled between the both of us
Y/N - heh, anyways. Both of you should freshen up, I'll just clean up the mess and make breakfast. If anyone else is awake, just sit down on the couch and talk. I hope I didn't mess up the tree or presents
Hae - you didn't, don't worry.
With a soft smile, I began to walk to the door but a sudden 'psst' caught my attention, making me turn back.
Hae - I love you
Seulgi - I love you as well.
My smile transformed into a big ear to ear smile, blushing a bit looking at the ground as my hand gripped the door handle.
Y/N - I love you both. I'm thankful for you both
Hae - hehe
Seulgi - go on and get mister
One playful tease later, my head hurt from the sight of the mess I caused. Seeing Jimin and Min-Jeong still asleep, just missing pillows, that's all.
Pinching my nose, disappointed in myself. Letting out a sigh before opening my eyes and stretching my arms.
Y/N - alright, let's get this over with.
â----------
My hands were busy with the pan and pot at the same time, I managed to clean everything up and put the pillows back to where they were but to how awful my stealth skills were, it just woke some up.
So now, I was dealing with the background noise of cheerful christmas music and 6 girls talking in the living room.
Lily - Y/N?
Turning my head to my side where her voice was heard, a smile formed on my face beyond my tired baggy eyes which would be a bit intimidating.
Y/N - yeah hi Lily, good morning
Lily - good morning, you seem very tired?
Stepping to the side, letting her look at the contents of the kitchenware. I waved her off, laughing softly.
Y/N - ani, I'm alright don't worry. Merry christmas by the way
Lily - Merry Christmas, I saw you were by yourself and thought I could help?
Y/N - sure sure, just plate up the table and utensil, you know the usual if you can.
Lily - sure!
She happily moved beside me, opening up the kitchen cabinets and grabbed a few bowls before walking off to the dining room table.
Sighing a bit, I was met with another visitor in my area but a very lovely one.
Jinae - mmhm? Papa?
Looking down, her hand tugged at my pants making me drop everything and immediately squatted down. My face lit up at the sight of her.
Y/N - AHHH! Jinae! Good morning muffin!
A higher, cutesy voice came out of me. One that I only use when I'm with her and when we're alone, although I know everyone else is here but my daughter makes me feel instantly better about myself.
So, I wrapped my arms around her. Lifting her up in the air where she sat on my arm, giggling to herself.
Jinae - good morning papa! It's christmas!
Y/N - that's right, muffin! It's christmas day!
Jinae - can I open my presents yet!?
Y/N - not yet right now muffin, we're gonna have breakfast. But say, if you eat everything on your plate then I'll let you open your presents alright?
Smiling brightly at her, patting her on the head where she kisses me on the cheek
Jinae - okay!
Y/N - awww alright, how about you join your unnies and mama on the couch?
Jinae - mama awake?
Y/N - yep! Here!
Laying her down gently onto the floor, watching her run towards Haewon. Seeing her immediately light up and take her into a hug where the girls began to smile at the sight of it.
My heart felt warm once more, despite my own self destructive nature. I knew that the one thing that Jinae needed was a family, and I realise now. She's always been in the grasp of love with everyone around her.
Kyu - good morning oppa!
Sully - good morning oppa
The two girls walked up beside me, taking a spot on each side where I smiled to them happily
Y/N - hey girls, good morning. Merry christmas
Sully - merry christmas
Kyu - merry christmas oppa, it's a bit cold don't you think?
Y/N - very, that's why the heater's on. How was your guy's sleep?
Sully - it was good, you got a good mattress
Kyu - mmhm though I'm pretty sure I had uh- Soo-young-unnie's feet on my chest
Y/N - ah don't mind her, she moves around a lot when she's drunk. Speaking of her though, where is she?
Sully - she's in the bathroom, she said she has a headache. I think she's hungover
Y/N - that's alright, I got hangover soup cooking up as well.
Kyu - you look pretty tired oppa, you stay up late?
Noticing my tired eyes, I just nodded in response
Y/N - a bit too late, was dealing with something that's all.
Sully - hehe, you're on break now. I heard from Haewon-unnie that you haven't been sleeping well lately, so sleep early tonight alright?
Y/N - will do Yoona. How about you two go on the couch, join the rest? I'll call up everyone once the cooking's done.
Kyu - alright!
The two quickly left my side but were unfortunately joined again by a very hungover older sister of mine, her hand gripping my shoulder.
Joy - I didn't cause a scene did I?
Y/N - you ranted on again about stupid shit during dinner
Joy - damn it.
Muttering to herself, she quickly kissed my cheek where I did the same to her
Y/N - I'm making hangover soup right now, just grab a glass of water
Joy - yeah.... Thanks. Merry christmas by the way
Y/N - merry christmas noona, go join them.
Joy - will do.
Listening to her grab a glass of water, my eyes remained on the food with Lily grabbing the rest of the utensils.
I've been thinking to myself all of a sudden.
I'm convinced I'm sort of boring to say the least,
Sure a lot has happened lately but it doesn't mean that I have any interesting qualities to me other than work and Jinae.
Hmmmm.
Wendy - morning
Turning to the side being greeted by Seung-wan-noona, she kissed me on the cheek where I kissed her back. Her warm hand caressing my cheek, an admiring look in her eyes
Y/N - morning noona. You're in good spirits.
Wendy - I am. It's Christmas day after all.
Y/N - yeah.
Wendy - you alright? You look like crap
Y/N - I got drunk last night and made a mess
She looked confused, looking around the place but couldn't find anything wrong with it since I cleaned up everything already
Wendy - what mess?
Y/N - I already cleaned it all up
Wendy - what got you to drink that much again?
Y/N - just some shit, a lot on my mind
Wendy - how about you take a rest? You've been working nonstop in the kitchen since yesterday
Y/N - you wanna take over for me?
Wendy - yeah of course, takes the burden off your shoulders
Y/N - you sure?
Slapping my butt with a grin, she pushes me to the side with her shoulder.
Wendy - come on and join the girls, Joo-hyun is still in bed with Yerim, but they'll be out in a bit
Y/N - good to know. Thanks noona.
Wendy - just take it easy alright?
Y/N - I'll try.
Walking over towards the living room couch, I noticed Min-Jeong and Jimin looking at me where Min-Jeong made space for me to sit.
Accepting it, she immediately sat on my lap where I turned to Jimin. Haewon,Kyujin, and Yoona playing with Jinae.
Kar - morning Y/N.
Y/N - morning Jimin, Min-Jeong what's got you all like this?
Win - nothing, felt like it.
She pouted a bit, laying back, where she put her head on my shoulder making me lift my hand up and caressed her hair.
Kar - you are too old to be sitting on his lap like that
Win - but he used to always let me do this
Jimin sighed, a little annoyed with how Min-Jeong was acting.
Y/N - leave her be Jimin-ah, it's Min-Jeong we're talking about here.
Win - I just wanna be with oppa sometimes, is that hard to understand?
Kar - you were all shy yesterday now you're all cosy with him
Win - it's christmas, I'm happy
Y/N - Christmas does lift everyone's spirits up.
Kar - yeah yeah sure.
Y/N - what's got you all grinch like all of a sudden?
Kar - nothing, my head hurts
Y/N - you lightweight
Kar - you shut up
Y/N - nope.
Win - no fighting on christmas!
The both of us backed off, immediately bursting into laughter. Jimin's hand slapped Min-Jeong's thigh, a soft 'ow' came out from her
Kar - just like old times
Y/N - just like old times. By the way, I think I'm getting old. My back's been killing me
Kar - huh? You never had this problem before
Y/N - must be from lifting Jinae up a lot. She does ask for lifts all the time, that and holding her on my shoulders maybe
Win - you ever get scared that one day she'll stop asking for that?
Staring at Jinae, happily smiling and laughing out loud.
My mind churned at the thought of it,
It truly saddens me truly once she's out of that age that she won't need it anymore.
But with time, everyone has to eventually grow up.
Y/N - a little but, for now. I don't want to think about it
The both of them smiled, satisfied with my answer.
My head turned to the window, watching the snowfall from above.
â---------
Breakfast was out of the way where we gathered around the couch, handing out gifts to each other.
Jinsol looked at me, her eyes a bit worrisome but out of curiosity since she was beside me, I nudged her on the side.
Y/N - hey you alright?
Bae - hm?
Y/N - I said if you were alright?
Bae - oh. Just something on my mind.
Y/N - what's up?
Bae - I just wanted to talk to you about something.
Y/N - sure
Bae - maybe later? If we get some alone time?
Y/N - yeah of course.
Watching everyone receive their gifts, it was my time to get up.
Y/N - oh right.
Walking over to the tree, grabbing a gift. I can safely say that my wrapping skills absolutely suck but weren't that bad.
Y/N - alright, this one is for.... Jinae
Jinae - ooooo!
Happily walking over to Jinae, her area was completely littered with presents that came from well, everyone.
She opened up her hands, wanting the gift where I handed it to her.
Jinae - thank you papa!
Y/N - hehe of course munchkin
Patting her head and sitting back down on the couch beside Jinsol and Haewon, we all watched Jinae unwrap her gift.
Jinae - OHHHHH! It's the toy I wanted!
Letting out a grin, my eyes transfixed towards Seulgi-noona, giving her a wink where she gave me one back.
Jiwoo - what'd ya get Jinae?!
Jinae - Gwen Stacy!
Y/N - not just any Gwen Stacy, it's the S.H.Figuarts Gwen Stacy!
Feeling proud of my sudden announcement, it didn't take long for me to realise that multiple pairs of eyes were on me with grimaced expressions.
Seulgi - finally admitted to everyone that you were a nerd.
My confidence depleted, hanging my shoulders where I get a pat on the back from Jinsol and Haewon
Kyu - p- pfft- nerd.
Hearing Kyujin's soft whisper, that did not help my situation at all
Irene - are you happy with what your papa gave you?
Jinae - I'm very happy!
My shoulders immediately popped back up, my demeanour changing back to my usual self where I just laughed
Y/N - I spent- too- much. Money. Hm.
Yeri - well, we're glad you got gifts for everyone. So thank you Y/N
Looking around, they all thanked me. I had carefully chosen gifts that they would all like and I gotta say, a lot of my account has been drained.
Thank god I took overtime.
Sitting back against the couch, my leg over the other.
Haewon's head sat on my chest, nuzzling into me.
Oh what a day,
On a lovely Christmas morning.