A kindness washed over me,
Insignificant than the rest as I sat with Haewon.
Our eyes locked onto the tv, watching some random program before she leaned over from the couch and grabbed the remote
Hae - this is boring
Nodding in agreement with her, today was a day off for us.
*bang*
We turned our heads, looking towards the source of the noise. Hearing loud laughter, giggling like a girl at the sight.
Seulgi - I'M NOT IT!
Jinae - YES YOU ARE MAMA!
Me and Haewon laughed to ourselves, her hand still on the remote.
Hae - I'm just gonna put on the new workdol episode
Y/N - yeah go on
Crossing my arms where Jinae frantically ran in between me and Haewon, Seulg came shortly afterwards, almost diving in between us.
A smile is still on my face because of the atmosphere.
Seulgi - NOW I GOT YOU!
Tickling her with a bit of a headache going through my head now, an aching soreness going side to side inside my head, my butt rubbed against the couch as I stood up, walking over to the kitchen.
Hae - hey you alright?
Y/N - yeah I'm just gonna grab a painkiller, I got a headache all of a sudden.
Those two troublemakers on the couch weren't paying attention but turning my neck and taking a good look at Haewon, her eyes telling me everything I needed to hear.
An expression of concern and curiosity blinding through the pupils.
My hand brushed against the kitchen cabinet on the left of where the plates were, opening it with my hands before grabbing a tray of half opened pills. Popping one out, the pill flying into my hand gently before putting the tray back into its place before closing the cabinet.
Side-stepping to the side, just half a metre away. Grabbing a glass, stretching my arm over to the fridge, catching a glimpse of a cold, almost icy water bottle. Though the plastic doesn't show it but I can tell from a glance, leaving the fridge half opened.
Gripping the bottle cap, opening the bottle for me to pour into the glass. Filling it up halfway through before putting the bottle cap back onto the bottle, placing it back in the half opened fridge.
Sweet chin music to the fridge door, closing it with a slight bang. Glancing back to Haewon, she had a sneer on her face while she watched me pop the pill into my mouth, drowning it out with the water I poured out.
After that ordeal was done, I walked back to the couch where I also helped with the attack on Jinae.
Me and Seulgi, tickling her as she laughed almost with tears in her eyes from the overwhelming offense. Before we knew it, failing to notice a presence behind me.
My neck turned eye to eye at the wall with a thousand yard stare.
Man, I should work on my self awareness.
Ten fingers immediately poked at my sides, almost like tentacles as I fell to the floor laughing like a maniac.
Hae - AH I GOT YOU!
Y/N - AH! STOP! I- I'M GONNA- PFF-
My eyes stayed half open, seeing reflections of blurry lights but my ears were still available to listen in.
Ten became twenty and twenty became thirty.
Jinae - WE GOT YOU PAPA!
Seulgi - THIS IS FOR STEALING MY STUFF!
Kicking wildly, not intending to hurt anyone.
Feeling like I was being pinned in a wrestling match, no disqualification of course.
The overstimulating feeling came from my sides, my neck and my stomach.
My breath tiring, vocal cords choking at how much I was letting out.
After a few more minutes of what felt like an eternity, it stopped. Allowing me to catch my breath, staring up at their faces.
Hae - she started it
Pointing to Seulgi who immediately put her hands up, shaking her head in disagreement.
Seulgi - nope it was her!
In protest, she pointed to Jinae. Frowning from a finger being pointed at her.
Jinae - nu- nuh uh!
We all perked our eyebrows up at the listening to an English expression.
Gathering the strength to get up, my knees aching a bit as I stood up, wiping my pants off out of habit before squatting down and picking Jinae up, laughing to myself.
Y/N - been hanging around your Lily-unnie a lot haven't you?
Lily - yes?
Y/N - it ain't a bad thing muffin, don't worry
Changing my tone to a softer one to show that I wasn't disappointed or anything towards her, she immediately went back to being the energetic Jinae we know, her arms wrapping around my neck. Glancing towards the girls, their eyes gazing sweetly at the sight.
Hae - well, I almost forgot. If Jinae wanted to learn English, she could learn from Lily.
Seulgi - that's true, mine's horrible. But wait, aren't you fluent in English too babe?
Haewon's eyes snapped towards Seulg before back at me in confusion, letting out a confused 'eh?'
Hae - y- you're fluent?
She looked back towards me, a stifle of laughter coming out of me.
Y/N - oh! Yeah! I forgot, my biological mother is European!
Hae - that doesn't explain why you know English
Seulgi - well it's a long story.
Y/N - to simplify it down, mom and dad knew my biological parents personally. And just one day, they thought 'hey maybe we should teach him some English' since it would've been a way to honour my biological mother's wishes.
Hae - her wish was for you to learn English?
Y/N - nah not really, but maybe learning it could've been one of them. Turns out I'm part Scandinavian, don't exactly know where.
Hae - but you look Korean to me?
Y/N - I guess I got my father's side more in terms of looks.
Seulgi - hey you just never know. But anyways, Soo-young helped him with learning it, brought him to those schools where they teach English, next thing you know he's fluent.
Hae - but why know English if you're part Scandinavian?
Y/N - hey don't ask me, that's just like the extent to my biological heritage, apparently she never really expanded on where she was from actually, just that she used to live in England but her heritage goes way back.
Hae - so the ratio is one to zero point five plus more adding up one as a whole in terms of Korean to whatever your mother's heritage goes to?
Seulgi - now ain't you a smart girl?
Hae - ya
Putting her heads up in a joking threatening way, making us laugh.
Y/N - yeah basically if I were to put it that way. But yeah I'm fluent.
Seulgi - but back on topic
Hae - oh yeah right, so why not teach her?
Y/N - which company do I work for again?
Hae - JYPe duh
Y/N - exactly
It took a second for Haewon to react, her mind goes blank from a brainfart before realising why I don't have the time to teach her.
Hae - but neither does Lily have time.
Y/N - well, if you compare what we do most of the time. You're an idol doing idol stuff, I'm an editor that works late night while being delegated work from Sajangnim and dealing with SM stuff at the same time, which reminds me. I need to call Jimin about the parent teacher meeting.
Their ears perked up upon the mention of it, the both of them turning their heads to look at each other before back at me. Jinae was getting restless, her groans of boredom being in my arm getting to her. So I took out my phone and put on a video for her to watch
Y/N - don't drop it
Jinae - I won't!
Patting her on the head, straightening my back a little before proceeding to talk again.
Hae - woah, but wouldn't I go?
Seulgi - well not me, I'm still pretty n- wait a second. I used to go with you.
Y/N - but what was the deal we made?
Seulgi - ah right fuc- I mean, uh-
Y//N - she's occupied, you can say it.
Seulgi - ck-
Clearing her train of thought probably going through light years right now, she patted her face before getting herself together.
Hae - what deal?
Seulgi - well, I sort of acted as his girlfriend at the time, not as her mom.
Jinae - mommy?
Hae - yes?
Jinae - I love my mommies!
Hae&Seulgi - we love you too munchkin
Giggling to herself, we got back on track with the conversation.
Y/N - so that means they probably think we broke up, and well....
Hae - well?
Y/N - I brought Jimin over to the school when I was picking her up and they happened to be with me, so I introduced her as her y'know
My head nodded towards Jinae, the two understanding.
Seulgi - well, I'm not against the idea of you bringing her along.
Hae - it is inevitable eventually.
Y/N - I know.
A bit of disdain sodden through my voice, a feeling of misguidance welling up.
My gaze turned to Jinae, her unaware expression of familiarity that I hoped had come to her whenever she saw Jimin.
Maybe she knows truly inside, but I don't know how she truly feels.
She's still a child, but children aren't fully empty-minded.
â------
*the day of the parent teacher meeting, 19:00 (around there)*
Karina - you think I look presentable?
My neck turned a bit, maintaining my focus on the road. Examining her outfit for the meeting,
She wore a white long sleeve crop top, and covering the bare parts of her torso, she wore a cropped jacket.
Quite on character for her.
Alongside with just some jeans to match along with the outfit, and how could I forget.
A Prada handbag to complete it, someone's been racking in the cha-ching since she got that sponsor
Y/N - y- yeah? I think so? I don't think mom's would be strolling in with a Prada bag I'm just saying.
She sighed, my attention now fully back on the road, putting the car to a halt at a red light.
Y/N - you okay what's up?
Karina - I- I just haven't been to a parent teacher meeting as a parent.
Y/N - I know. Don't beat yourself up on that.
Karina - it still dwells on me you know.
Turning to look at her, she looked utterly defeated. A combination of hope lost in her eyes and unsurety wandering around. My hand reacted instinctively, like muscle memory.
Hovering above her thigh before laying it down, she immediately reacted to it. The both of us were staring into each other's eyes.
Y/N - you know I never have good advice but, I told you before. It's not your fault truly for missing those years. And I know you must be anxious,scared maybe. Or both. But you know yourself, you're the best you can to be the mother that she deserves. Haewon, Seulgi. They love her as much as you do, they're trying their best, so are they. Even though I'm still struggling to be a parent that can be there for her, I missed out on a few things. The important things too because of what we do. But at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if it's two or one or none at all. She'll wait for us, for you and for me, for the people close to her. So she knows at least that someone loves her, and I know you do too, and I do too.
My point was a bit off the spot if I had to say.
Oddly cryptic but I didn't mean to let out that sort of message since I am a bit weary of the red light.
Ironically, glancing towards the light. Seeing it was green, pushing down on the gas where I kept my hand on her thigh.
Until I felt her soft palm grasp the top of my hand, reassuring me, telling myself that'll she be okay.
*a little bit later*
We walked along the halls of the school, bringing back memories to say the least though ones I'm not fond of.
Y/N - just play the part
Whispering into her ear, the familiar sight of drawings up in the hall. Bright almost blinding colours overtaking my peripheral vision. I could get a fucking headache from staring too damn long here.
Karina - are you sure?
Y/N - yes I'm sure.
Without a second thought, opening my head fully for her to slide into. No hesitation into interlocking our fingers. A feeling we haven't felt in years.
Karina - seems- nice.
Y/N - you use hand lotion or something? It's really soft.
Karina - oh yeah I use this one, I'll bring it to you when I visit next time. But yours is a bit rough if I had to be honest.
Y/N - yeah, that's what doing the heavy lifting feels like.
She softly laughed at my subtle yet stupid joke. An outline of a adequate written sign saying
'Parents enter here'
Showed us exactly that we were meant to be here. Quickly glancing at each other for reassurance, we just pushed through.
Opening the door for her, she pulled me along as I followed behind her.
The nostalgic smell of a sports hall, though the facilities in this school were limited, they made most of the place.
Karina - don't you got the schedule for who's first?
Hearing that from her, I immediately dug into my right pocket, sliding my phone out before grabbing it by its sides, turning it on with my face id and checking the document of the order of who to meet first.
Y/N - uhhhhhhhh, her?
Pointing to one of the tables, recognising the face.
Karina - then there first.
Nodding, sliding my phone back into my pocket. She was still a bit anxious judging from the quick glances towards her. Holding her hand with a not too tight squeeze, just once to reassure her.
Walking up to the table, she was unoccupied but kept her eyes on a piece of paper. Our footsteps alerted her of our presence, looking up at the both of us as she fixed her glasses position.
Teacher - oh hello Y/N! Good to see you again!
Y/N - hello there, are we the first to see you?
Teacher - not actually but feel free to take a seat, I'll be with you in a second!
We sat down together in the chairs left for the parents, still holding hands. She felt a bit warm but it could because we haven't let go since I brought up the idea.
The background convoluted with crowds of parents, but amidst the noise. Bringing my head up to look at her.
She looked back at me, a soft plush smile emerging from her. But it was one that brought back something,
A time long forgotten over the years, reliving it in my head in that brief moment.
But our attention broke from the emergence of the teacher's voice, turning back towards her while she fixed her glasses once again.
Teacher - now, where were we?
*an hour later*
Karina - that went well.
Y/N - It did, yeah.
We were both out of the school, hearing only good points about Jinae and her progress in school. Apparently she's a bit smarter than the rest, adapting easily to new knowledge faster than she should be.
I was never one to be a smart guy, so I think she got that from Jimin.
Karina - and she's getting along with her friends in her class, that's good too.
Y/N - yeah, I'm glad she's happy that she can get along with them, met a few of them before when I was picking her up and they're just equally energetic as her.
Karina - it also means you're doing a good job.
Y/N - oh yeah?
A sly glance over to her, a smirk on my face as I scoffed a bit, she slapped my arm over my reaction making me softly laugh.
Karina - you are! And she's smart too!
Y/N - she got it from you that's for sure.
Karina - hey no! You're smart too!
Y/N - me? You know me Jimin, never was one to listen in class.
Karina - but yet you made it to college, you work in both JYP and SM, sort of.
Y/N - but that's just music, a goddamn monkey could make music if it could wanted to, shit hell even a goddamn goldfish maybe.
Karina - yeah but don't put yourself down, you got where you are now due to perseverance and hard work, sometimes being smart doesn't always mean you'll get somewhere big.
Y/N - true maybe, but I'm pretty sure smart fellows ended up getting the nobel prize.
Karina - aw come on, just accept my compliment.
Y/N - nope.
Confident in my answer, a slight tingle in my thigh made me look down because of it. Her hand laid on top of it, patting it.
Karina - but I'm still proud of you either way, so am I with Jinae.
Y/N - thanks.
Karina - I know I shouldn't keep bringing it up but-
Y/N - I know Jimin, I know. But you got something out of it after all, look where you're at now. Wearing designer clothes and a well known celebrity worldwide. Anyone would sell a kidney to be in my position but, I'm just lucky that we got to even know each other at all. Let alone take care of your child.
Karina - our child, Y/N.
Y/N - yeah.. Our's.
Karina - sure anyone would want to be in your position right now, but there's something that they won't have that only you do.
Y/N - which is?
Karina - that I loved you.
Braking into a stop light, the luminosity of the red light seeping into the vehicle, only engulfing half of my face. But the natural light of the night sky only illuminated her face fully. The sight of her face almost made me choke, a half smile on her face.
Briefly looking down before she lifted her hand off my thigh, going upwards. Feeling the soft,almost milk touch of her hand onto my rough, coarse cheek.
Karina - I loved you, I cared for you, and you were my friend. My best friend, a man that I loved, we shared nothing but memories I'd never regret down to the smallest moments.
*honk*
Jumping out of my seat a little, turning my head towards the stop light, now green. She took her hand off my face as I accelerated.
Y/N - shit-
Karina - I'm sorry
Y/N - it's alright.
The air around us got awkward from the sudden affection given from her.
I don't know what to say or do from that.
But deep down, I appreciated her words.
That I cherished her love too.
â----
Putting the key into the apartment door, we haven't talked since the moment we got back in the car earlier. I still don't know what to say to her.
Pushing the door open fully but with not too much force to slam the damn thing, stepping to the side where I let her in first.
Karina - thank you.
With a subtle nod, closing the door behind me where I saw Soo-young-noona on the couch with Jinae, her head turning to look at us.
Joy - ah you guys are home.
Her eyes immediately furrowed at the sight of Jimin, looking over to her avoiding her gaze while she looked at the ground clutching her bag.
Those two are somewhat okay with each other but then again, it's clear that she still harbours some malice.
Jinae - papa! Unnie!
Jinae had looked towards us, her excitement already up in the air, her small stomps across the floor as she got off the couch and ran towards the two of us. By the time she reached me and Jimin, my hand patted her back while Jimin patted her head. The glint in Jinae's eyes everso everlasting.
Must've got it from her mother.
Looking back up, seeing Soo-young-noona with her handbag already on her shoulder walking towards us
Y/N - huh? You're going?
Joy - I got a boyfriend that's waiting on me
Y/N - not even gonna stay for dinner?
Joy - again, boyfriend.
Y/N - fine.
She leaned in and showed her cheek to me, obviously asking me for a kiss.
Joy - say goodbye to your noona
Groaning out of annoyance from her clear superiority that she has over me, I gave in and kissed her on the cheek before looking down at Jinae, squatting down where Jinae kissed her on the cheek
Jinae - bye bye unnie!
Joy - bye bye muffin!
Her immediate switch into a cutesy tone compared to when she stood back up and glared at Jimin, pointing at her with her finger.
Joy - you be good
Karina - y- yes u- unnie.
Walking away from the both of us, watching her exit the apartment before our attention went back to Jinae.
Y/N - did you have fun pumpkin?
Jinae - yup!
Karina - your teachers said a lot of good things about you
Jinae - am I a good girl?
Y/N - well yes you are!
Jimin squatted down, picking up Jinae in her arms where they happily shared a laugh
Y/N - since you're a good and smarty pants girl, I'm gonna make you your favourite dessert okay?
Jinae - yay!
Karina - you deserve it after all, our Marie Curie
Kissing her on the cheek which made Jinae happily smile, her lips pressing against her cheeks almost squishing them.
Jinae looked towards me, an almost confused curiosity look coming from her.
Jinae - papa?
Y/N - yes pumpkin?
Taking off my jacket and throwing it onto the jacket rack, which fortunately actually landed on it without falling down out of pure luck.
Jinae - Jimin-unnie looks like me!
Me and Jimin immediately froze, almost cartoon and cliche like as we shared an almost frightened look at each other.
Y/N - o- oh yeah?
Karina - w- why do you think so?
Jinae - me and Jimin-unnie have the same eyes! Nose too!
Y/N - I- I m- m- m- mean-
Stuttering the hell out of what I'm trying to say, falling silent upon the failure of my words.
Karina - w- well- sometimes people can share the- uh- uhm- same features?
Jinae - it's almost like Jimin-unnie is my mama too!
Scratching my head with an unfortunate sigh, both with me and Jimin knowing that sure, she's smart. But I mean with what she knows. Maybe she does truly know.
Y/N - how come pumpkin?
Jinae - uhmmmmm-
Putting a finger on her chin, looking up to the ceiling before bursting out with confidence in her words.
Jinae - it feels like it! Like I've known Jimin-unnie for years!
A dumbfounded look came from Jimin, her mouth half open in shock and surprise.
Karina - u- uhm-
But before she could say anything, Jinae put her arms around Jimin, wrapping them around her neck, resting her head on her shoulder.
Jinae - I'm tired.
But the sight of it, calmed me a little.
An almost perfect picture like a painting.
The dim lighting of the living room lights coating the whole room, the blinds half open, half closed. Jimin comfortably held Jinae up in her arms, her head against Jinae's head. Her body swayed a bit to the side while she patted her butt.
I could see half of Jimin's face alongside the other half of Jinae's, complimenting each other's perfectly.
Almost out of renaissance.
The picture of mother and her daughter sharing a warmth of an embrace.
I never denied it, but what I was seeing right now.
The resemblance between them,
Like a puzzle.
The pieces fit together perfectly with me being the last few to complete it fully.