I remember when I used to be in this place all the time.
Late nights, chucking down coffee's, the glaring monitor at medium brightness and it would still give me a headache every time like I thought it would work.
The whiteness in the desk, an oak made variant now reduced to a off-white yellow colour and currently sits in a dumpster behind the company since this morning.
Where I stand now, the sun shining through the same window I used to look out of.
Just looking down below against all the buildings, some still had light in the windows, most didn't. The cars passing by and sometimes if you could focus real closely.
Those black dots were people passing by.
Wouldn't even make it out to see if they were drunk or just passerbys after a long night.
And a long night was for me too.
*knock*
I was brought out of my thoughts, my hands gripping the waist of my satchel. I turned towards the doorway to see my co-worker.
Well.
Ex-co-worker now.
Co-worker - hey man.
Y/N - hey.
Co-worker - just gotta let you know, sajangnim gonna have to bring in the new guy any minute now.
Y/N - I know.
Co-worker - yeah.
His fingers tapped on the doorway, his head a bit down to look away from me before lifting his head up with a sorrowful look on his face.
Co-worker - can't believe it.
Y/N - I know.
Co-worker - we'll miss you you know.
Y/N - I know that for sure.
Smacking my lips, I walked up to him. A pleasant feeling washing over my body as I brought my hand for him, in a shaking position for him to accept.
And without any hesitation, he shook my hand one last time.
Co-worker - five years. We had you here.
Y/N - and a long five years. Shit, it felt more like ten to me.
Co-worker - well, heh. To us it's all the same.
Y/N - yeah.
We let our hands go, my hand guiding to the back of my head, gently caressing it.
Y/N - I'll see you around.
Co-worker - you too man. Take it easy.
Y/N - will do.
Patting him on the shoulder with a soft smile on my face, all I could do was keep my head down while I walked through the office one last time.
It's been five years since I joined JYPe. technically five years and two months. But five years is the closest.
And now, I've gotten laid off.
I got a call last week from Sajangnim telling me the details,
I was being let go for a newer younger guy, not because of anything I did but. He said it was just to let the company move on. And as much he wanted me to stay, he had gotten word from the higher ups to let me go.
I mean,
Maybe it was because of something I did.
I uh-
Got married to Haewon.
Seulgi and Jimin too.
And given that, they didn't renew their contract actually and settled for a new company. I guess they harbour a little bit of hatred for me because of that.
But oh well, let the times roll I guess.
As I walked down the same concrete stairwell where I would just, let myself get lost in thought and it felt like a memory to me. Where every step was and every turn with my eyes closed.
I used this damn place more than the elevator.
Once more, walking into the garage where I looked at the booth where Ji-woo used to be.
I miss him.
He passed away a year back before I got married.
I was hoping to invite him to the wedding but I guess father time got to him after all.
That man was a stepping stone for the company but to me, he helped me through his own words.
Always listened to me.
Just someone I could rely on.
My hands gripped onto the car door, unlocking it with my key and hopping inside. Closing it with a slam rather than an easy slow close.
Maybe it's because of the anger I have.
That Ji-woo isn't there anymore.
But then again,
I felt the same way about dad and mom.
God I miss both of them.
Mom.
She didn't take dad's death so well, just a year after his death. She followed him after.
Now me, Minji, Ji-Yeong, Soo-young-noona. That's all we had.
Just each other.
The smooth leather steering wheel shot a spike into my spine, just holding it there on my palms made me reminisce a bit.
These four years have been a lot huh?
Jinae is ten years old.
And my god, I've seen my muffin grow up.
She's gotten taller, wears glasses like her old man but it doesn't stop her from looking like her mother.
Putting the key into the ignition, the once roar of the engine has sullied down to a pitiful cough even.
I tried my best dad, keeping the engine stock at least but.
Right now, I just don't know what it takes right now to change it.
Going into first gear, driving up to the booth where a younger guy occupied it. I don't share conversation with him but, it was sad to even see this booth one last time.
Nodding at the guy, driving off out of the garage. Taking one good look at the rearview mirror of the building before focusing back onto the road.
Let's just go home.
â----------
Sitting there, looking at my house from the driveway.
We moved out of the apartment circa about two years ago.
Had some pressure to say the least from the wives. Considering that the girls live with us now.
And by the girls,
The NMIXX girls, thankfully they didn't change their name when they moved companies but it's not as catchy as I thought it would be.
But, this house is pretty damn big if I had to say so.
Suburbs based and a middle school nearby. Hopefully we'll stay here long enough for Jinae to enroll there. Saves me the effort of driving her there.
My forehead laid flat against the steering wheel, they know by now that I've been laid off. It's just that I'm tired.
I'm really tired.
Just a different type of tired.
I don't know if it's the medication doc gave me or something else.
But I hope it's definitely something else.
Lifting my head up from the steering wheel, sighing with my chest. I leaned back and turned myself around to the backseat, grabbing my satchel. I took off my seatbelt and got out of the car, brandishing my keys from my jacket before closing the car door and walking to the front door, unlocking the front door.
Listening to it squeak before walking inside and closing it.
Y/N - honey, I'm home!
Announcing my return to the house, I think everyone's here since the girls don't have anything going on today and well,
Seulg and Jimin have resorted to being stay at home moms.
Red Velvet never got back together unfortunately, still great friends obviously and keep in contact.
And surprisingly, Aespa never renewed.
Reason being?
Me.
Winter - oppppppa?
So yeah,
Aespa never renewed their contract because THEY wanted to live with me.
Looking at the staircase, Min-Jeong ran down with excitement with socks on, not to mention the wooden floors where she could slip easily.
She jumped from the second last step where I caught her in my arms.
Y/N - jesus christ Min-Jeongie
Winter - hellllllo
Y/N - hi Min-Jeongie.
Now, me and the rest of the Aespa girls aren't necessarily. Married.
Dating? I don't know.
Never really understood our relationship with each other except Jimin.
Kyujin - ya, unnie. Shut up.
There's Kyujin, safe to say. We just, ended up together.
I know I know I said we wouldn't but, we did.
Took four years though because it was just only a month ago we talked it out.
Same thing with Jiwoo.
Yeah I know, but then again.
Four years is too long of a time to let you think about everything.
Hae - hmmmmmm? Honey? You're home?
Haewon stood by the kitchen doorway, holding up some sheets in her hand.
Y/N - hi honey.
Win - wae? I don't get that too?
Y/N - we're not married Min-Jeongie
Win - hmph, then let's get married then
Hae - Min-Jeong-unnie, go then. Or else it'll be too late
Win - hehehe it's never too late.
Holding Min-Jeong up in my arms, allowing myself to create space for Kyujin who was walking down the staircase, greeting me with a kiss before seeing Ning up there on the top.
Ning - ya unnie, I told you not to do that to oppa
Win - WAEEEEE
Seulg - MIN-JEONG YOU'RE BEING TOO DAMN LOUD!
Turning my head towards the kitchen doorway, Seulg's head popped out from the doorway beside Haewon who was still rearranging the sheets in her hand.
Win - s- sorry unnie.
Seulgi - Y/N? Baby you're home early?
Y/N - yeah, sorry.
Letting go of Min-Jeong, placing her on the ground. Quickly ruffling her hair as I walked over to the kitchen, greeting the two of them with a kiss.
Hae - at least you got to get your things right?
Y/N - yeah......
Seulgi - laying off my husband from the company he worked his ass off in for years for a newer younger guy? Bullshit
Y/N - hey it's okay Seulg
Seulgi - they're lucky I never went there because if I heard this, I'd beat the crap out of them
Jinae - moms?
There, I heard the voice of my muffin. Walking in from the living room rubbing her eyes like she just woke up from a nap
Y/N - hey muffin
Jinae - hey dad
Hae - Jinae-sweetie, you just woke up?
Jinae - mmhm
Seulgi - I'm making dinner right now, just wait a while
Jinae - okay eomma, where's-?
Hae - oh she's in the garden
Jinae - oh okay.
Y/N - come at least give your dad a hug?
Jinae - oh right
Turning around and squatting down, she ran to me and hugged me around my neck. Patting her on the back.
Man, she really does look like Jimin a lot.
Jinae - didn't you get laid off today?
Y/N - yeah I did.
For a ten year old, she's pretty smart. I'll give her that.
But I don't know if it's from me or Jimin or both.
Jinae - oh and dad?
Y/N - yeah?
Jinae - did you see the tekken 9 trailer?
Y/N - I did
Jinae - it's so cool!
Y/N - I know muffin, wanna get it with me when it comes out?
Jinae - oh yeah!
Y/N - collector's edition sounds cool to get
Hae - you two, always thinking about games
Jinae - well yeah eomma, not a day goes by where me and dad just want to play games all day
Seulgi - and you will, when you're finished your homework
Jinae - aww really?
Hae - listen to her Jinae
Y/N - I- I- uh- I'll just check on Jimin
Jinae - m- me too-
Hae - nuh uh uh young lady, do your homework first
Jinae - b- but mom.
Y/N - just- just do what your mom says alright?
Jinae - okayyyy dad.
Y/N - good.
Placing my hand on top of her head, the both of us sharing a cheeky smile before she ran off where Aeri just came in
Gis - where's she going?
Y/N - to do her homework
Gis - oh. You just got home?
Y/N - yeah
Gis - ah okay cool
Y/N - you're not gonna you know?
Gis - I'm tired right now young man. Later.
Y/N - oh okay.
Aeri sat down on the couch, laying her head flat on Min-Jeong and Jinsol who I didn't even notice was there but was sound asleep.
Y/N - Jinsol asleep?
Hae - yeah she was out earlier
Y/N - oh. Where's everybody else?
Seulgi - upstairs, they had something on except for Haewon.
Hae - mmhm, was feeling tired to come anyways
Y/N - ah, you two.
Seulgi - listen we're trying our best alright?
Y/N - I know, I love you both
Hae - I love you too.
Seulgi - I love you as well.
Y/N - heh.
Seulgi - also, any names on the baby yet?
Y/N - you think I know?
Seulgi - you're his father, I don't know what to call him
Y/N - ah, we'll figure it out eventually
Hae - by the way honey, once I'd say about four months in, we should start thinking of what to name ours.
Y/N - shit right. I can't believe I'm leaving my two pregnant wives to work everyday at home
Hae - oh honey, we're doing fine.
Seulgi - trust us, we're used to doing this sort of work at this point
Y/N - are you sure?
Hae - we're sure. Go check on Jimin-unnie. She's still outside
Seulgi - and tell her to bring in the strawberries she picked
Y/N - oh they grew?
Seulgi - and they look really juicy
Y/N - alright then.
Going up to them, hugging them both sweetly before going out of the kitchen and out to the backdoor.
There she was, right in front of me albeit sitting down on the steps where I squatted down beside her as she turned to look at me.
Y/N - hey there
Kar - honey. Hi.
Kissing each other sweetly, pulling away. We shared a smile where I rested my head on her shoulder, her hand caressing my cheek gently.
Kar - long day?
Y/N - yep.
Kar - laid off I heard.
Y/N - yeah, sucks.
Kar - checking up on me?
Y/N - yeah and that Seulg is asking you to bring in the strawberries that you harvested
Kar - I will in a second.
Y/N - alright.
Kar - you'd think we'll be okay?
Y/N - why do you think so?
Kar - because. A lot has happened since we moved
Y/N - I don't know. Maybe we will be or we already are
Kar - hmmm *sighs* It feels weird since telling Jinae I was her mother. Like real biological mother.
Y/N - she took it well.
Kar - but- do you think she's ignoring me?
Y/N - I don't think so. She's probably processing it.
Kar - being a mother is so weird.
Y/N - you tell me. Being a father is weird too. Now that's she ten, I don't know whether to be scared of her or just worried
Kar - why?
Y/N - three times, she'll be thirteen and you know. Teenagers.
Kar - oh right.
Y/N - you think we'll be okay then?
Kar - honestly?
Y/N - yeah?
Kar - yeah we will be.
Y/N - I sure hope so.
The summer sun sat down with us, our eyes focused on the blue sky.
It's been pretty weird but life has gone on normally as it usually did.
But as I stared out into the sky.
Something hit me.
It doesn't feel right.
Almost like,
Something's gonna happen.