Selene didn't sleep that night.
She sat up, crouched over her desk as she read over Zoë's six steps to break Declan's heart. No matter which way she looked at it, she still had two more steps to finish this whole thing. It had taken her almost two months to get this far.
She had never been in love before--she thought she had been once but in hindsight she never was--and she had no idea how to make people fall in love with her.
She groaned, running her hands through her hair.
"Fuck," she said softly, in the quiet.
A crash sounded downstairs.
Selene lifted her head.
She knew better than to be the typical cliche white girl and go downstairs but last time she ignored a bump in the night it had been her grandmother having a stroke.
She glanced around her room, looking for something to arm herself. After a moment, she picked up one of her six-inch stilettos and headed downstairs.
There was no murderer behind a mask with a decade-old vendetta but instead, her mother; crouched and swearing as she attempted to reattach a fallen wheel onto her suitcase.
"Mom?" Selene asked.
Lucille's head snapped up. Her hair was up messily in a bun, a strand in the back missed by the ponytail holder, her face blotchy, eyebrows no more than nearly invisible blonde hairs.
"What are you doing up?" Lucille asked.
"I heard a noise from downstairs." Suddenly aware of it, Selene lowered the stiletto. "Where are you going?"
"A motel six with shitty air conditioning," she quipped.
"Dad kicked you out? At one A.M?"
"He's getting married, Selene, even if he's not saying it directly; I'm getting kicked out."
"That's stupid. You're leaving me again because Dad is finally happy?" she questioned. "You know how bullshit that sounds?"
"You don't understand--"
"I understand perfectly. I saw Dad sign the divorce papers and you give up custody. I grew up pretty fast when I had to figure out tampons on my own."
Lucille went quiet.
"Did you think about that when you left to go to fucking Amsterdam? Your child? Your daughter who needed her mother?"
"Selene--"
"You made me think there was something wrong with me!" she yelled. "That I did something that forced you to leave me behind. I changed my whole self for you! I suffered because I wanted you to come back." She scoffed. "And now at the first sign of danger, you're up and running; again."
They both took a moment to process Selene's words.
"You didn't even want me here," Lucille said.
"Doesn't mean I want you leaving in the middle of the night," Selene replied. "Or leaving at all."
Lucille nodded. "Help me take this stupid suitcase upstairs?"
Selene nodded back. "Gladly."
They both reached down.
"You should come with me to hot-lates," Lucille said.
"Don't push it."
Lucille nodded. "Also there are two more suitcases on the front lawn."
»
"What's all this for?" Lucille asked.
Micah, Carter and Selene were scattered around the kitchen. Micah was flipping over french toast at the oven, Carter was placing a plate of eggs on the island and Selene was poured orange juice into a champagne flute. They had gotten lavender balloons to float against the ceiling and the table was set with a breakfast buffet.
"It's Mother's Day," Selene replied. She handed over the flute to her mother. "Mimosa?"
Lucille took it gracefully. "You didn't need to do this."
"Of course we did," Micah said.
Carter placed the now done french toast on a plate. "After all, you are the matriarch."
"You're the head of this crazy family," Micah said, pulling Lucille in for a hug.
"Which means you don't get to leave," Selene said. The whole ordeal had been a few days ago but Selene had to make sure her message got across.
Lucille nodded. "Never."
»
"Going out tonight?" Carter asked.
Selene nodded. "Zoë's eighteenth."
"Ah. Congratulate her for me."
Selene nodded.
"Where are y'all going?"
"Gelato and then buying exactly five scratch-offs. A movie then dinner."
Carter leaned against the island and stared just above Selene's head. A wistful look overtook his face. "Don't tell your dad." Selene leaned in close to listen. "When I turned eighteen, my boyfriend at the time and I went on this cross-country trip by to Alberta. And for three days we went sightseeing, and bar hopping and it was the best birthday I've ever had--until I met your father."
"What happened after?" Selene asked, softly. Her eyes were wide and her voice was soft; almost as if she was young and her father was telling her a bedtime story.
"We broke up. His family was a bunch of assholes and forced him to get engaged to a woman when he turned nineteen. He jumped off a bridge on their fifth wedding anniversary."
"Carter what the fuck?" she exclaimed.
He began to walk out of the room. "Have fun, kiddo."
She stared in shock at his disappearing shadow before she took out her phone and immediately went to Zoë's contact.
'You'll never believe what Carter just told me.'
She twiddled her fingers as she waited for a response. Eventually, her screen turned off and she frowned.
Zoë usually texted back quickly, no matter where she was. She had even gotten in trouble at school for pulling it out during class.
Selene used her fingerprint to unlock her phone and sent another text.
'See you at five!' She added a gelato emoji.
Another ten minutes went by with no response. Selene checked the time. It was getting closer to five.
Selene kicked off her heels.
Half an hour later, she took off her jacket. An hour later, she decided to open Instagram as she debated taking off her outfit.
She found herself typing in Zoë's Instagram handle and tapping on the story.
The first picture was a selfie; Zoë posed with her tongue out. 18 is written in a cursive font with celebration emojis.
Selene tapped the right side of her screen.
Zoë 's morning coffee, a cake her parents had gotten her, a boomerang of her blowing out candles from nearly three hours prior. A pose of her in a bathroom mirror with a group of girls including her cousin from twenty minutes ago.
Selene sat up.
She had been texting Zoë for nearly the past hour and there she was out with people Selene didn't even recognize.
Selene tapped to the next update.
A boomerang of Zoë tapping the heels of bowling shoes like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Five minutes ago.
Selene tapped again but that was all Zoë had posted, and she came face to face with Zoë's Instagram page.
Selene stared at it for a moment, frozen.
They spent every birthday together. They never fought--sans the cafeteria instance but that was all for show-- and now Zoë was ignoring her messages?
She exited the app and headed to messaging.
She scrolled past her conversation thread with Zoë and opened the one with Verona.
'Are you free?'
Verona replied almost instantly. 'Always'
'Wanna hang?' Selene asked.
'I'll pick u up in 15'
Selene responded with a thumbs-up emoji.
»
Verona picked her up ten minutes later and as Selene got into her white Lexus, she wondered if Verona had run a few red lights.
Verona threw her a white-toothed smile before reversing out of her driveway just a little too quickly.
Selene yelped and fastened her seat belt. "I didn't know you have a car." Especially such a nice one.
Verona shrugged. "It's used. It was my mom's."
"Did she get a new car?"
Verona shook her head. "She passed last year."
Selene's eyes widened. "Rona, I'm so sorry I didn't know--"
"I didn't expect you to," Verona said. "Don't sweat it."
From this proximity, Selene could see the dark freckles across Verona's rosy cheeks, the slope of her nose, the golden-brown her eyes turned in the fading sunlight.
"Where are you taking me?" Selene asked.
"I need to buy my prom dress," Verona responded, making a right-hand turn. She went over the curb, and they both bounced in their seats. "You bought your ticket right?"
Selene shook her head. "I was waiting for the big ask from Declan."
Verona shook her head back. "You're supposed to buy your ticket first. What if they sell out? Plus the price goes up thirty bucks next week."
"I'll buy my ticket tomorrow."
"This reminds me," Verona said. "We need to make prom plans."
"I'm fine paying for a limo--"
"We also need a photographer or a parent or sibling that's good with a camera. And we were thinking after grad that we'd all go to a cabin for a few days; have a grad party you know?"
Selene nodded. "My dad is like really strict so I don't know if I can," she lied.
"Just lie," Verona responded simply. "Also we're all going to Carlos's after prom because he's throwing the after-party." She slapped a hand on the steering wheel. "It was his party where you first met Declan."
"Glass staircase?" she asked.
"Mhm," Verona hummed, pulling into the mall parking lot.
Verona was not the worst driver. She just constantly sped and that meant sometimes going over a curb or briefly skidding when she turned.
Selene unbuckled her seat belt once Verona had put the car in park and quickly left the white car.
»
"You need a prom dress," Verona said.
Selene looked at Verona. She was wearing a gold mermaid dress she had decided on, twirling a little as the dress shimmered in the boutique lights.
"Right?" Verona asked.
Selene panicked. She hadn't mentally prepared to try on clothes today. Especially not a skin-tight evening gown. "I think I ate too much today," she lied.
"We don't zip up the dress," a sales associate said. "And alterations can be made within one or two weeks."
"Come on, Selene," Verona said. "I found this cute emerald dress in the tiny girl section."
Selene sighed and told the sales associate her size.
Fifteen minutes later she lost her breath as she looked at herself in the mirror. She felt light-headed.
The dress was a rich shade of emerald that hugged every curve of her body. It was fairly simple; backless with two straps holding it up. But it was so beautiful.
"You look hot!" Verona exclaimed.
Selene blushed. "Thanks, Rona."
"Declan is gonna have such a hard time at prom."
Selene's cheeks turned even redder. "Shut up," she mumbled.
"And your ass looks great."
"Verona!"
"Mermaid looks good on you girl."
"The dress is a bit large," the sales associate said. "We'd need to go down a size or two."
Selene paused. "Isn't this a 5?"
The sales associate nodded.
Selene was confused. She'd been a size five for the past year and a half. Last time she had been a size threeâ
"Let's go eat," Verona said. "I'm hungry."
The saleswoman gave the plus-sized girl a judgemental look from the corner of her eyes.
"I'm hungry too," Selene said. "I could go for a five-course meal."
"Great," Verona said. "Get changed, hot stuff."
Ten minutes later they were sitting just off the center of the crowded food court. Verona was eating a salad while Selene had made a small dent in her burrito bowl.
They were talking about prom plans--if the whole group should rent an Airbnb for prom night, who to invite to the after-party--when Selene's stomach churned.
She tried to ignore it, pushing down as her mouth filled with saliva.
She quickly pushed out of her chair, cutting off Verona's words as she rushed to the washroom.
Luckily, there was no line, and she rushed into the nearest open stall and dropped to her knees. Her eyes burned as she threw up.
"Fuck," she swore, wiping her lips.
"You okay?" Verona asked, behind her.
She had no idea that Verona had followed her. She shook her head.
Verona went quiet. "Selene, are you... did you and Declan not use condoms?"
"I haven't had sex with Declan," she said. "I haven't had sex with anyone since my ex."
"Grade 9?" Verona asked.
Selene nodded.
"Let me take you home."
Selene slowly got up, her legs weak and eyes still watering.
Verona gave her a wide berth as she headed to the sink to rinse her mouth.
When her mouth no longer tasted like bile, she turned to Verona.
Verona held out a black hair tie.
"Thanks," Selene said, taking it and using it to tie her hair into a bun.
Verona mumbled a small "no problem" before they headed out.
»
The one thing Selene hated most about being sick was how people treated her. The minute her red blood cells were unsuccessful at fighting away any illness, people crowded around her and treated her like delicate china.
"You don't have to come with me," Selene said as Verona followed her up the steps to Selene's front door. "It's just my period making me queasy," she lied.
Selene wasn't on her period. Now, she tried to think to when she had it last.
"I'm not leaving until you've eaten some saltines and drank some ginger ale."
"I'm fine," Selene insisted one last time, half-heartedly hoping that Verona would somehow accept it the umpteenth time she said it; would shrug her shoulders, walk away and go home without a second thought.
Instead, Verona stood resolute waiting for Selene to dig the keys out of her pocket.
"I'm home," she called then added quickly, "I brought a friend."
Ever the 1950s housewife, Lucille floated down the stairs almost ethereal and perfectly dressed. Her hair was done and she wore some chic yet simple but undeniably expensive white shirt with black fitting slacks and a pair of hot pink heels that matched the slight embroidery on the sleeves of the shirt.
"It's been so long since I've seen Zo-- oh"
Verona smiled at Lucille. "Hi Mrs. Calloway."
"Lucille," Selene's mother corrected harshly then smiled tightly.
There was a pause.
"This is my friend, Verona," Selene said a second before the stretch of quiet dipped into an uncomfortable silence. Selene turned to Verona. "Since I ruined our lunch: would you like something to eat?"
Verona opened her mouth but before a syllable could pass through her lips, Lucille stepped in. "There's no need," she said. "A young lady should always be aware of her figure."
Verona raised her eyebrows as Selene's face burned red.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Sel," Verona said. She turned around and headed towards the door.
"Verona," Selene called after her, but she just waved goodbye over her shoulder as the door closed.
She turned towards her mother. "What the fuck? You couldn't keep the comment to yourself?"
"It's true," Lucille defended.
"Why does it matter to you how much she eats?" Selene burst. "This is why grade nine happened. All your fucking comments."
They both went silent.
"That's not true," Lucille said.
"It is."
"Selene," Lucille said, her tone softer.
Selene waited for her mother to say something. But when a few beats of complete silence passed she knew it was no use; after all Lucille Calloway had never been one for apologies.
She nodded slowly, knowing her mother had made her decision and swiftly left the room to shower.
Selene stayed in the shower until she was sure her mom would no longer be waiting with some apology that didn't require her to actually apologize. Her fingers and toes were pruny and she could probably sweat out her Vanilla scented body wash if she tried hard enough.
She picked up her phone to once again apologize to Verona and was bombarded with messages from Zoë on her home screen.
'OMG babe i'm so sorry'
'i totally forgot OMG'
'I'm so sorry'
'i swear we'll hang out soon'
'my cousin literally kidnapped me and i completely forgot we had plans for gelato'
'pls don't be mad'
'ily' was the last message sent with a black heart emoji.
Selene paced around her room in her towel as she thought of what to say.
She opened her Instagram to check Zoë's story once again, but when she clicked the page open, it came back blank. Zoë had blocked her on Instagram. Selene remembered that Zoë religiously checked who viewed her story ever since once when Nyx had been on a stalking streak which forced Zoë to post multiple pictures of her with Declan to piss Nyx off.
Selene sat on her bed. So Zoë knew that Selene had seen her story; knew that Zoë could have texted her at any time to warn her preemptively that she was going to have to cancel plans.
Selene stood and paced again. They both knew Zoë's apology was not genuine.
She paced for a few more beats before settling on the edge of her bed once again. 'No worries. I love you too. Happy 18th' she typed with a string of pink heart emojis at the end and pressed send before she could overthink it.