The events that followed were a little hazy for Selene. She had texted her dad that she was staying over at a friend's house to study for a test. Declan had given her one of his hoodies and a pair of Adalyn's sweatpants to go to bed. They had brushed their teeth together and Selene had her head laid on his chest as they laid in his bed, her ear against his heart.
She woke up the next day with her dad's face hovering over hers. She screamed, sitting up straight. "What the hell?" she exclaimed.
A blur of faux fur flew at her, gripping her tightly and she groaned.
"You're okay," Lucille said, softly.
Selene surveyed the room over her mom's shoulder. White walls, the sting of bleach, a painting of an adorable puppy on the wall. Carter sat in an uncomfortable-looking chair near the door, a book on his lap.
"What's going on?" she asked. Where was Declan? How'd she end up in the hospital in the first place?
"Well," her father said. "You were sneaking around behind our backs with your little boyfriend," Selene winced, "and you fainted."
"That's it?" she asked.
"Selene," Carter started, "when was the last time you ate?"
"I had some popcorn last night," she said.
"Are you," he paused, "relapsing?"
"What?"
"You've lost twenty pounds since April," her father said.
"You haven't been doing your journals either," Carter asked.
Selene glanced at her mother. She was staring at the space in between Carter and Micah. She hadn't been around during the first incident and she looked so lost during this whole conversation.
Selene laid her head against the pillow and stared at the ceiling. "I've just forgotten to do them. It's not a big deal."
"You haven't been eating regularly," her dad said. "Your mother found your lunches in the trash."
She just didn't have time to eat. She spent her mornings putting on makeup and picking an outfit that she knew Declan would like so she missed breakfast. At lunch, she sat with Declan and his friends on the field. In between the inside jokes and laughter, there was barely any time to open her lunch. And she usually skipped dinner in favour of catching up on homework and most of the past month was spent studying for her AP tests.
"I'm sorry," she said finally.
"We're rehabilitating you," her dad said.
"What?" she exclaimed. Going back to the helping home would ruin her whole plan. She couldn't go back. How would she even break Declan's heart? Everything would have been useless.
"That's not necessary, Micah," Lucille said, putting a hand on his arm.
"Do you see her?" Micah exclaimed.
"I do."
"You don't get it," he said. "You weren't even there."
Lucille's eyes turned glassy. She opened her mouth then stopped.
"Lu," Micah started, reaching out towards her.
Lucille rejected his efforts of comfort with a shake of her head. "No, you're right."
Selene didn't bother to interrupt them with the fact that she was eighteen and would have to admit herself and there was no way in hell she would do that.
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I've learned. It's not going to happen again." The adults all stared at her. "I'm sorry."
"Okay," her dad said.
None of the Calloways spoke as they checked Selene out of the hospital and drove home.
At home, Carter pushed a high plate of alfredo in front of her with those milk concoctions that helped babies gain weight. Then they locked all the bathroom doors for the next hour and forced Selene to stay in the living room watching RuPaul's Drag Race with her mother.
Only after this did she get her phone.
She headed up the stairs to her room already dialling Declan's number.
He picked up as she closed her bedroom door.
"Hey," he said, his voice breathless. "You good?"
"Yeah, I'm home right now. I--"
"I'm going to come over in a few."
She paused. "Uh, okay."
"See you." He hung up quickly.
Declan knocked on her bedroom door twenty minutes later.
"Come in," she said.
He opened the door slowly and left it open the slightest bit. "Your dad said I had to keep the door open... and keep my hands to myself if I want to keep them."
She cracked the smallest smile and Declan sat next to her on the bed.
He was wearing grey sweatpants with a white t-shirt with his signature gold chains and rings decorating his fingers. He spun the one on his middle finger around slowly. His hair was messy, not gelled back like usual and he shook strands out of his eyes.
They both stared at her grey walls, almost barren except for an old One Direction poster she and Zoë had put up as a joke.
Finally, Declan looked down at those white shoes with a snake on the side as he spoke, "Are you okay?" he asked softly.
"I'm okay," she said.
"Do you think we need to... slow down or something?" he asked. "I don't want to push you or anything. I-I was so scared, Sel." His hands shook the slightest bit. "We were talking one minute and then your eyes literally rolled to the back of your head and you were gone."
It's weird; she had never even thought about how Declan had been affected. She had felt bad for how her parents had been worried but hadn't stopped to think about how worried Declan had been especially since he was the one who witnessed it all.
Selene sighed. "When I was in grade nine I started dating this grade twelve guy--Julian Dawson--and it was a hard time. I was chubby when we started dating and he would not so subtly tell me what he thought about it. He pressured me to do a lot of things I didn't want to do." Tears fell and she wiped them away angrily. "Then I found out he was cheating on me. I blamed myself. I developed an eating disorder and after Carter noticed, I was sent to a rehabilitation center. I told Zoë to tell everyone that I was in England for an early vacation and I never told anyone what happened."
"Selene..."
"So no; I don't need a break. Because you're nothing like him." She reached for his hand and squeezed. "I'm good."
Declan took a deep breath. "Are you a hundred percent sure?"
She nodded. "A hundred percent." She laid her head on his shoulder. "I really like you Declan."
"I really like you too." His lips pressed gingerly to the side of her head and Selene let out a breath of relief.
The plan would go on.
»
"Should I text him?" Selene suggested.
Micah had decided to invite Declan for Father-Daughter Breakfast at iHop after he had come over the other day to check up on her. But right now he was incredibly late.
The one thing Selene usually admired about Declan was that he was always on time; most times he was early. Declan was the type that was usually twenty minutes early on a good day, fifteen minutes on a bad one. Verona had even told her of how Declan used to be the first person to arrive at parties before the rest of the group educated him on high school party etiquette.
However, today he was seven minutes late.
"Don't," Micah said. "I told him to come for dinner instead so I could talk to you."
Selene's stomach dropped. "About what?"
Micah released a breath. "The wedding."
"What's wrong?" She asked and sipped her milkshake.
"I don't know how to tell Carter that I just want to go to the courthouse."
Selene raised her eyebrows.
"I've had a wedding before," Micah continued. "It's a waste of time and money and I just want to be able to call him my husband. Do you know how much people look down when I introduce him as my boyfriend? Especially since they know that I was with a woman before?"
"I-I didn't know."
Micah shrugged. "Carter's never been married before; I think he wants a big wedding. And I want him to be happy but that's just too much for me."
"I think Carter just wants the same thing." She took a breath. "But it's going to have to be soon because I accepted Ryerson's offer."
Micah gasped. "You did?"
She nodded excitedly.
His face fell. "You're leaving. My baby is leaving."
"Dad, you knew I was going away for Uni." She reached across the table for his hand.
"Doesn't make it any easier."
"You're such a sap."
"You're my only child," he rebutted.
Tears sprung to her eyes. "Stop. I'm going to cry."
"I raised you," he continued. "You changed my life."
She looked down at the table. "I love you, dad."
"I love you too."
Both Calloways wiped their tears away and ordered their stacks of pancakes and waffles before talking again.
"How about we just do the wedding in the backyard?" Selene suggested. "Rent some tents, get someone to marry you, invite like eighty people, get a huge cake. It's big enough for Carter but small enough for you."
"You'd be a good wedding planner."
Selene made a face. "I don't even think I'm going to get married."
Her father paused mid-chew. He swallowed roughly. "We'll talk about that later."