Chapter 19: chapter 19

15It was a belated realization for me that I need not wait eagerly for the day when I would leave Hyderabad on transfer to Tamil Nadu, my home state! I was quite at home living in the twin cities; still the dream of coming to Tamil Nadu was driving me. Most of the people in my team who had come from Tamil Nadu had already gone back to Tamil Nadu. Three people who had married women from Hyderabad had settled there. Somehow my transfer was getting delayed. Even though I was attracted much by the new culture and the Hindi language, I was determined that I should leave for Tamil Nadu as soon as possible. I learnt only to speak Telugu. I did make no attempt to learn Hindi or Urdu either to write or to speak. Writing had become an outlet, a sort of breathing for me to escape from the tension of my family life. Otherwise, there would have been hypertension.On 6th December 1992, I went to Hyderabad to receive the relieving order. It was already arranged that I must get the order the next day. I had come to Chittoor by bus and from there I had booked a ticket to reach Vellore. The bus journey was difficult. But the railway route was a roundabout one. I had to go to Chennai and then from there I had to travel to Vellore. That was why I had decided to take the bus.The Previous Journey: I was transferred to the Vellore telecom district. Usually those who got transferred from outside would not get their first posting in the district headquarters. They would be posted somewhere outside the district. As it was followed as a rule, I could not get posted at Vellore itself even though I very much liked it. It was a consolation for me that my friends like Na.Ka. Thuraivan and Kamalalayan were at Vellore. However, I was very much disappointed when my request was rejected. The disappointing trip to meet the General Manager to give my request letter in person disturbed me very much.I had reached Hyderabad via Vellore and Chittoor. It was about 3a.m. when I reached Gowliguda bus stand. It was very cold. I got down from the bus with a muffler and a shawl. In such early hours there would not be any town buses. People wearing shawl and mufflers were squatting in front of the bus-stand like sack-bundles. I could not sit there. I thought that if I could take an auto and reach my Secunderabad home I could sleep for three hours and that would refresh me to go to the office. I hired an auto. When the auto stopped in the Regimental Bazaar after crossing the Secunderabad railway station, I gave the auto driver twenty rupees as already agreed upon. Another gentleman who travelled with me got down at Chilkalguda junction. The auto driver got twenty rupees from him also. The driver who took the twenty rupees I had given him, started arguing that the fare agreed upon was forty rupees. I drew his attention to the fact that the other gentleman had already given him twenty rupees. But he refused to accept my words and started arguing in fluent Hindi that I owed him forty rupees! I tried to convince him with my broken Telugu. My Telugu exposed that I was not a native. He shouted as though he was irritated, threw the twenty rupees I had given him onto the street and vowed that the fare was forty rupees only. My body started shivering. I could take my purse out and give the money he demanded; but a thought struck me: “suppose he seized my purse!” I stood still in fear. The auto fellow consolidated his emotions and shouted at me: “You fellow! Are you new to this place? A thief? Or a Naxalite?” He tried to pull my shawl off which I was guarding myself against the severe cold. He also tried to pull my monkey cap out! But it won’t come easily. Again, he tried to pull out my shawl. I felt that something very bad was going to happen. I had a small suitcase in my hand. He tried to seize that also. Hearing his shouts some two or three people came running towards us. They heard the auto driver’s vulgar language and started laughing and shouted at me: “Thief! Eh?” My body began to shiver! I started running slowly. But the little box and the shawl were big obstacles!Three people chased me. When I entered a narrow lane, it was only the auto driver who chased me. I entered into the lane where my house was. I started running fast to avoid him. I stood before the entrance of my house and knocked at the door hurriedly. When the auto driver saw that I was knocking at the door of a house, he stopped at a distance of 100 feet. Chewing the paan, he stared at me. Suganthi came a bit slowly and opened the door. I entered the house hurriedly and locked the doors immediately. I did not open the door even to find out what had happened to that fellow. When I thought that if I had been caught by him he would have beaten me, dragged me or seized my suitcase, I started shivering. I felt that I had the run of my life.My wish was that the journey that I took on Dec. 6th should not be like the previous one. I booked my ticket in Gowliguda bus stand for Chittoor.On the 7th of December the shattering news broke out: the Babri Masjid was demolished. I wished in my heart of hearts that the news should not be true. Even though it was true, let the ‘reactions’ start tomorrow; let everything go smoothly today, I wished. Let anything start after I touch the borders of Tamil Nadu, I repeatedly told myself.On the 7th morning I went to my office in Gowliguda with my small suitcase. My relieving order was ready. The order told that I would be relieved in the evening that day.The faces of many Hindu friends were bubbling with joy- they were telling one another that it was the first step to end the dominance of the Muslims. I told them that only one dome was damaged and asked them whether there would be any large-scale violence just for one dome! But most of them felt that the Masjid had completely been demolished; the newspapers and the T.V. channels were reporting only a fragment. There was no chance for me to celebrate my going to my home state! The faces of the Muslim employees were dark with fear. It was my plan to inform my Tamil friends about my leaving Hyderabad through telephone. The bus I had reserved would only depart at 5p.m. There was enough time. But in that confused situation, I dropped the idea of calling my friends. At about 11 o’clock the news that stabbed bodies were brought to the Osmania General hospital reached us. Within next ten minutes, the All India Radio and The Doordharshan announced that curfew was imposed in a few police beats in the old Hyderabad area!Within the next half an hour, the radio announced that curfew was imposed in two more police beats. But there was no curfew in Gowliguda area yet. I thought that curfew would never be imposed in that area. I firmly believed that there would be no problem in my journey to Vellore! But my friends dashed my hopes. They said that curfew might be imposed there too, at any time. I planned to go to the Gowliguda bus stand, cancel my reservation and get my money back. But everything fell like a pack of cards.Gowliguda also came under curfew. I was worried whether my bus fare would go down the drains. My relieving order was signed and was handed over to me. There was no way to reach Gowliguda bus stand. I took my suitcase and came out of my office. The shops were closed. The street was empty. I saw a town bus that was going to Abids. I reached the Hyderabad railway station hurriedly. The train bound for Chennai was there in the platform. There was ten minutes to go. I entered into a general compartment and sat in a corner heaving a sigh of relief! But the thought that my bus fare had gone waste troubled me much.Within ten minutes the train reached the Secundearbad railway station. There was an uneasy calm. The faces of the people who sat opposite to me were filled with fear. The sound of the moving train was becoming louder and louder. If the train crossed the Andhra border safely, then everything would be O.K., I thought. The train was bound for Chennai. To reach Thirupattur via Chennai was a roundabout route. But the there was no other way, I pondered. The train was going at a constant speed. The Tamil Nadu border would come after ten hours. The thought that Tamil Nadu was a safer place, began to fill my heart. The wailings of the people who sat opposite to me vanished in the loud noise of the moving train!