Chapter 28: Honestly, Honesty

A little after four o’clock, my phone buzzed with a text from Brennan.

Brennan

On my way

His message was cold, lacking the warmth I’d grown used to. I missed the way things used to be. Had I really thought I could just waltz back into his life and everything would be as it was?

I pushed myself off Belle’s couch. She was at the table, engrossed in writing a blog post. She glanced up at me and flashed a smile.

“Brennan’s on his way. I’m going to wait for him downstairs.”

Belle’s smile widened. “I’ll give you a spare key in case I’m not here.” She got up and disappeared into the kitchen. She returned with a key, which she placed in my hand, grinning. “But I have a feeling you won’t be needing it tonight.”

I returned her smile, though mine was more hesitant. I hoped with every fiber of my being that she was right.

“Thanks, Belle. I’ll see you later.”

I waited downstairs for about fifteen minutes before Brennan’s car pulled up to the curb.

I opened the passenger door and slid into the seat. Brennan didn’t say a word, and I followed suit, buckling my seatbelt and sitting in silence as he drove off.

The tension in the car was thick. It felt like an eternity before we reached Tribeca, even though Belle’s place wasn’t ~that~ far from Brennan’s.

When we finally pulled into the parking garage, I let out a sigh of relief. But I knew this was far from over.

We walked through his building in silence. When we reached his apartment, he unlocked the door and held it open for me. I stepped inside. Everything was as I remembered it.

Brennan tossed his keycard on the counter and made his way to the kitchen.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” he asked, his tone polite. I let out a sigh of relief; at least he was being civil. I shook my head and took a seat at the table.

“No, thank you,” I replied softly. “But I would like a glass of water.”

Brennan shrugged and opened the fridge. He took out a bottle of filtered water and opened it. He brought the bottle to the table and took a seat.

“I understand why you left,” Brennan said after a moment of silence. “I know my past hasn’t exactly inspired trust when it comes to relationships.”

“Brennan,” I started, but he held up his hand and shook his head.

“Grace, let me finish. I need to be honest…about everything. And I need you to listen.”

I frowned. What did he have to say?

“For a long time, I’d shut myself off from the idea of love. I ignored what was right in front of me.

“I convinced myself that I needed to focus on work, that I needed to keep everyone at a distance, including my own family, to protect myself. I thought if I didn’t let anyone get close, I couldn’t get hurt.”

Brennan looked at me. His honey-brown eyes were bright, but his face was serious. His hands were clasped together on the table.

I wanted to reach out and cover his hands with mine, but I held back. Not yet.

“Then, a few weeks ago, you walked into my office and told me you were leaving. At first, I thought it was just my ego that was hurt. But when I couldn’t sleep that night, I realized it was more than that.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Your smile, your eyes, the way you roll them when I say something dumb.

“I was late for my meeting with Mr. Reed because I fell asleep at five in the morning and slept through my alarms.

“Grace… I care about what my family thinks of me, what my parents think of me, but I would have gone to that wedding alone.”

He paused and looked down.

“I just wanted to spend more time with you. I wanted to memorize you, to soak up everything about you.

“I realized…the part of me that I thought was lost was there all along, and it was there whenever I was with you.”

I felt my cheeks heat up. I was confused and hurt. He had lied to me, manipulated me. I’d felt guilty for running away, but he’d been keeping secrets too.

“You lied? You tricked me,” I whispered.

Brennan nodded slowly. “Yes. I felt like a fool, but I thought you already had such a low opinion of me. After the first time we slept together, you told Belle how much you regretted it...

“I didn’t think you could love me. You’d seen how I treated women over the past three years. You’d seen too much. Then everything happened and I let myself believe it didn’t matter.”

I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. He’d seen my message to Belle. That’s why he’d acted differently at his parents’ house.

“You could have told me the truth at any time,” I said. I slumped in my seat. “Why are you telling me now?”

“Because you said you love me,” he replied. “And because I love you too. I think maybe I’ve felt this way for a while. Long before any of this.

“And I know that makes me a bad person, worse than your ex, because I kept acting the way I did even though I knew there was something more.”

My heart softened. I hated that Brennan thought so poorly of himself. I hated that I’d contributed to that. I’d run away, reinforcing his negative self-image.

I got up and walked over to Brennan. I held out my hands, and he placed his in mine as he stood. I had to fight the urge to melt into him.

“Brennan, we’re not perfect. I messed up too. I ran away and let you think I didn’t care. But the important thing is we’re both here now. I think, at least.”

“You’re not mad?”

I mulled it over. My irritation had pretty much vanished. I couldn’t hold it against Brennan for not confessing his feelings the moment he’d realized they existed, because I hadn’t either.

I lifted my hands from his and traced my fingers up his arms, over his crisp white work shirt, until I reached his collar.

I could feel the heat of his skin through my fingertips as I let them explore the soft hair at the back of his neck.

“Why would I be? I struggled too.”

Brennan’s hands shifted from his sides, resting on my hips for a moment before he pulled me in and brought our bodies closer, until they were touching.

“I love you,” he murmured. His head was nestled in my neck, and his voice was warm against my skin. I could feel his heart pounding against his chest, in sync with mine.

“I love you too,” I responded. I wished I’d said it earlier, but I was saying it now.

Brennan’s lips began to wander, leaving a trail of kisses along my neckline. He unzipped my jacket and slid it back over my shoulder, along with my tank top. I stifled a moan. It had been too long without his touch.

“I’ve missed you,” he said softly as he removed my jacket completely, letting it drop to the floor. His hands roamed, moving to my jeans. I froze, and Brennan noticed.

I hadn’t told him everything yet.

“Grace?” he asked, stepping back immediately. I looked up at him and felt a pang of guilt when I saw the concern in his eyes, so deep he seemed to be drowning in it.

“What did I do?” he whispered.

I shook my head and gestured towards the table. We needed to sit down. ~I~ needed to sit down.

Brennan nodded and returned to his seat. I picked up my jacket and put it back on before sitting next to Brennan.

“Before this goes any further, I have to tell you something,” I whispered. “When I was back home, I…”

Brennan’s shoulders slumped. Pain flashed in his eyes and his hands reached for mine. He shook his head and tried to smile. Despite his efforts, it was anything but genuine.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I love you.”

I couldn’t even be mad that he was clearly assuming I’d slept with someone else. I’d ignored him, and I was being vague. I shook my head.

“Brennan, there was no one else,” I replied.

His body relaxed and he let out a soft, uncontrolled sigh. He shook his head and looked down at the floor.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I smiled. I leaned forward and lifted Brennan’s face back up. I pressed my lips against his.

I hadn’t kissed him since before I’d left, and I’d forgotten how captivating it was. How every atom in the room seemed to cease existing except for the ones we were made of.

His tongue brushed against mine, sending a shiver up my spine, and I moved from my seat to his lap.

His arms ran up my back, and when our bodies meshed again, the hardness of his chest pressed against my sensitive nipples. It wasn’t entirely painful, but it was enough to make me yelp.

I collected myself, sliding back off him and onto the chair.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

I grabbed my purse from where I’d left it and pulled out the small envelope I’d put the sonogram picture into.

I didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t know how Brennan would react. As far as he knew, I was on birth control and this wasn’t supposed to be possible.

I’d messed up. I’d missed my appointments. And if a baby wasn’t something Brennan was ready for, then I’d be on my own.

“I messed up,” I whispered as I picked up the envelope. “After everything that happened, I thought I’d been…I thought I’d taken care of it. I didn’t know. I didn’t know until I was at the doctor’s.”

Brennan shook his head. I could see the confusion in his eyes. His hand rested on my leg, and he pulled his chair closer to me.

“Grace, are you okay? Are you sick?”

“I missed an appointment for my birth control shot on July tenth. I didn’t realize it was due. My mind was a mess.

“We went to your sister’s wedding, and…well, according to this,” I slid the envelope across the table, until it was directly in front of Brennan, “that first time together…”

Brennan’s hands left my leg and moved to the envelope. He opened it, sliding out the small black-and-white photo. I watched him as realization set in.

His breathing quickened and he shook his head ever so slightly. His thumb brushed over the spot where the baby was, and he sucked in a breath.

I didn’t notice at first, not until a tear hit his shirt and then another. He was crying.

“Brennan?” I whispered. “I know this is a shock.”

Brennan shook his head. He looked up at me, his hands still holding the picture, and he smiled. “You’re pregnant.”

I nodded.

“Holy shit.” He paused and let out a chuckle. “My mother is going to lose her shit.”