(Started this at 8:40 AM ð©)
(Can we take one second to appreciate how Shauna looks at Jackie? I just know that Shauna got with Jeff because that was the closest that she'd ever get to dating Jackie. My favorite Girlfailures ðâï¸ðð©)
You've always been close with Shauna, even before you joined the team you two had been close. Maybe it was because of your teeny weeny crush on her that you could never give up on your friendship with her.
Even if it hurt you seeing Shauna and Jackie so close, you wanted the best for her. And that's what Jackie was. The best for her.
Everytime you did ask if anything was going on between Jackie and Shauna, both of the girls would dramatically gasp in no or just plainly said the two letter word.
It gave you some comfort, but you know if it was true it would hurt deeper than if they just said it to you.
It gave you hope, wish, desire to try and further more develop your friendship with Shauna other than just best friends into something romantic or intimate.
You always loved to flirt with Shauna. Not in a romantic way, but subtly, always gave her hints.
Grabbing her hand randomly, just somehow seemingly appearing from thin air just to hug her, you gave her cheesy pick up lines which she always laughed at. You didn't know if it was from pity, if she found them funny, or if she just didn't know how to respond.
Though these last days you couldn't help but see how she's grown distant from you.
You don't know what could've started it.
Did you do something wrong?
Does she not want to hang out with you anymore?
Does she not like you anymore?
Does she not wanna be your friend?
Does she hate you?
You were and always have been scared of those words being Shauna's, and even more scared of those words being directed to you.
You almost felt your heartbreaking at the thought.
It would be better if i left her.
If i ignored her.
If i held no interaction with her if not needed.
Maybe that's what she wants.
If you don't talk to her, that means that she'll never be able to tell you that she hates you.
Smart idea.
You started to ignore Shauna, hanging out with Taissa and Van. (#Thirdwheeler)
You still hung out with Jackie, just specifically requested that she don't bring Shauna along.
She always said yes, not finding it in her heart to ever decline your requests.
You thought she'd be happy if you left Shauna alone, y'know?
Cause Jackie liked Shauna, right?
Yeah, Jackie has a boyfriend, but it's obvious she's only doing that cause it's what she's supposed to do.
During football practice, you mostly hung out with the names i listed above. (Van Taissa, Jackie.)
While you ran the laps, and warmed-up, you always saw Shauna peeking or glancing at you whenever she could and or got the chance to.
You thought it was strange, because you thought she hated you.
Maybe she's trying to mask it.
Yes, that's it.
She's trying to make you believe she's still your friend.
Just so she can get close and say those three words one despised most.
I.
Hate.
You.
You couldn't handle that, you can't.
What made it even harder to ignore her like how you planned, was that damned locker room in which you and her always laughed with eachother.
Also, the glances she sent you whenever she thought you weren't looking.
Again, that thought popped in your head.
(Hates)
If she H@t35 me, why would she look at me like that?
Infact, why would she look at me at all?
You thought once more that she was trying to lure you in.
It's a possibility after all.
You and Natalie were out of class, taking a stroll in the hallways when you saw Shauna. You quickly ran to the bathroom, Natalie following you.
"Bro, what the fuck. What's up with you and Shauna? Did y'all have a fight or something?"
Her hands flailed around, not knowing how to comfort you.
"Did you?" She leaned over.
"It's complicated."
"Situationship? Damn." She replied, trying to lighten up the mood.
You stood quiet.
"Oh. Damn, i guessed it?!" She asked, a bit out of shock and curiousity.
"Uh, you okay dude? You know, uhm.. maybe i can help. No i can't, fuck. I'm too stupid to help with relationship advice." Natalie admitted to herself more than anybody.
"It's fine, let's just get out. We have practice anyway." You said, head tilted down.
"Okay, i have some shitty store booze and some weed if you wanna chillax after." She tried something atleast.
"Yeah, sounds great." You forced out of your throat.
"Cool."
"Yeah."
"Nice."
"Sick."
"Epic."
"We should get going, no?" You suggested awkwardly.
"Oh, right!" Natalie always managed to get herself in and out of awkward situations easily.
You two walked to practice, laughing and other shit people do with friends.
Natalie already changed when you two walked into the bathroom a bit before, you didn't.
Even though you thought she h@t3d you, you still wanted her eyed and attention on you and only you.
You and Natalie split ways, her walking to the field while you walked into the locker room.
You laid out your bag and spread your Jersey against the locker, feeling her eyes looking.
You felt those butterflies in your stomach. The one's you haven't felt in a long time due to your friendship that's hanging by a thread.
"So, how you've been..?" She asked nervously.
No reply.
"Hey, please? Can you atleast acknowledge me?" Her voice got desperate.
No reply once more.
"Okay.." To you it sounded like she finally gave up, but to her, this was just the beggining.
You quickly changed, almost immediately stepping out of the locker room when she spoke.
You jogged to the field, joining the others for the warm-up exercises. You always stood sandwhiched between Natalie and Lottie, not wanting to get close to Shauna.
(After practice, and no i'm not using the bold font again, it kills my already blind eyes)
You and Natalie decided it was a great idea to spraypaint the school, at night of course.
Natalie casually just made up the most brilliant route to take without getting caught by the cameras.
You and Natalie landed on drawing dicks in places hard to reach.
Right as you were about to go with the plan, she ditched. Saying that she 'had to take her fish for a walk'. Yeah, she's high.
But you didn't care, you needed somewhere to let out some anger, and what better place than the one that gives you that anger?
You snuck in from Natalie's route.
Wow, she really did plan it.
You took out your spraypaint as you found the perfect place to ruin.
You shook your can quietly, when you felt a grip on your shoulder.
"You." She muttered under her breath.
Shauna.
"Fuck." You tried to run away, but her arm held onto yours.
You felt Shauna walking towards you, causing you to back yourself into a wall.
Cornered.
"Shauna, let me go!"
"Why are you ignoring me?!" She asked angrily.
"..." You didn't answer. "Shauna, get off!" You ignored her question.
"What do you want? I'll give you anything. Anything. Anything." She repeated, her eyes wide.
Complete chaos beneath those words.
"Why did you stop hanging out with me?" She asked, her eye twitching.
No reply again.
"Was i not good enough? Was it so that you could make time for drug addict and schizophrenic?!" She almost yelled.
You never saw this side of her. It was..
Different.
You gazed into her eyes, they had longing, desire, madness, craze but most importantly..
Lust.
"I cried so much when you started to avoid me." She added.
"Shauna, stop this!"
"Listen here you dummy, you're mine. And you'll always be."
You were shocked.
She didn't hate you, no. She was just deeply lovesick.
(I actually loved this one so much ð)