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As I tried to get my bearings with this new memory, Romeo staggered across the cell, zigzagging unsteadily.
His palms flattened on the stone wall as he gazed at himself crooked filthy mirror. The dim lighting of a candle shown off of his bloody nose.
"Nononononono!" he cried, proceeding to have a meltdown. "NO! My beautiful shnozz! You broke it!"
"Better than a malmsey nose, you drunken joke!" shouted a male in the distance, followed be an echoing of other masculine laughter.
Romeo lunged to the cell bars and gripped them with his hands as he leaned in. "Oy! You put a muzzle on your mum yet, Otis? Or do I have to give her another blinker on the eye when the old dog won't stop barking in my bed?"
The prisoners exploded into laughter and woofing.
Romeo popped the collar of his Jester jumper, the bleeding from his nose seeming to have slowed already. "Ugly bespawler, spitting all over the place when he talks," he said, his accent so thick I could barely understand him. "Sorry about that, love. Have to keep up a front down here for survival. I'd never actually raise a hand to someone's Mum." He giggled a bit. "Less' they wanted their arse spanked around, o'course."
"This is going to be a long memory."
Romeo took an unsure step toward me, his unfocused eyes finding mine again with confusion. "Now hold on. Am I utterly sloshed, or did you and those lovely drumsticks appear out of nowhere?"
I shrugged off my backpack, waiting for the perfect moment to shove a piece of gum into my mouth and straighten out this confusing accent. "Um... yes?"
Romeo narrowed his blood-shot eyes. "So, what's this visit in the middle of the night about then? You a harlot?"
"A what?"
He waggled his eyebrows at me. "You know, a sex worker."
I shoved Romeo away from me and his back knocked into the cell bars. His eyes widened to their brim as I fisted his collar. "Call me that again and I'll shove my foot so far up yourââ"
"Don't finish that one less' you want me to fall in love," Romeo interrupted with a sheepish grin.
I released his collar instantly. "You're disgusting."
"You're not wrong," he said with a shrug. "Didn't mean any insult you, darling. Poppin' into my cell in the middle of the night, I thought you might be a friend of Cordelia's, that's all."
"Who's Cordelia?"
"She's my little jam tart," Romeo sighed, his jester hat tilting a little crookedly on his head and tuffs of brown hair showing through. "A real sphinx. A literal sphinx. That female has my whole heart, or whatever's left of it after rotting so long in this damned place."
Looking around, I lowered my voice. "I didn't actually mean land here," I admitted.
"Sounds like it. You've got one silly accent, blue eyes." Romeo pressed his fingers on either side of his nose, and I cringed as he snapped something into place. Clearly, he was something supernatural already because his nose was already healed as he cleaned his face with a rag in the mirror. I wondered why I had jumped here and not straight to Death.
"What's your name anyway?" Romeo asked as I was deep in my thoughts.
"Faith."
Romeo spun toward me. "Chhh chh chh!" he shushed me with snap of his towel in the air. "Are you mad, woman? Shush it down with the F word. You'll have us both strung up like pigs and cooked over a fire, like ol' Willy Burns!"
"Ol' Willy never was the same afer' that one," muttered the man in the dark cell beside us, who spooked me a little. "He got addicted to the flame."
"Charred his dingdong right off, he did," Romeo added with a sad shake of his head.
My mouth popped open.
"Oh, I'm just jesting, love. That didn't really happen..." Dropping his voice, Romeo leaned against the cell bars to concealed neighbor. "Oy, Wolfie, you got any extra bag-o-meat for my new beautiful lady friend? Seems she blipped in down here on accident. Poor thing's trembling from the cold and a little skinny in the cheeks. The ones on her face, if ya' know wha' I mean."
I punched Romeo in the kidney. "Ooof," Romeo wheezed. "She's a mean little bean this one."
"Can't share my supper, sorry," Wolf replied. "Not unless I get half your ration for din."
"Honestly, do you have five stomachs?" Romeo sneered. "Just give the lady a damn scrap, chum."
"What's the deal with her?" Wolf asked. "Ladies don't just blip down here out of nothin.' Could be a spy."
"I always trust a woman with blue eyes," Romeo said with a wink at me. "No one's telling nothin' about her. So you just mind your own cell if you don't want to chat nice with my new girly friend and keep those light-fingered hands to yourself. Got it?"
"Whatever gets your whiskey breath off my direction," Wolf muttered.
Romeo's lip curled a little and he pulled me away from our friendly neighbor's bars. Lowering his voice, he said, "He has a point though, love. I could meet a great misfortune with you tiptoeing about. Though, they don't call me the gal-sneaking jester for nothing. Why don't you tell me your real name at least?"
"But...I did," I said.
"Your name is...Faith?" Romeo's one eyebrow climbed higher than the other. "Honest?"
I smiled sheepishly.
Romeo burst out laughing. "Bloody hell, the irony is sick. Better change it now, love. You won't last a bloody fucking hour in here with tha' one."
"I'm not changing my name."
Romeo shrugged. "Your funeral. So, you're a player, huh?"
I scoffed. "If anything, I think you're the player between us."
Romeo frowned. "I'm confused. Are you not wearing a character gown?" He pointed to my Roman outfit, Alexandru's mother's old clothes. "Looks just like the reenactment they did a few days ago. Rub His Highness the wrong way with your acting, did we? Let me guess. You ended your performance with a smile. He never reacts well to a smile. Morbid bastard."
I vaguely listened to Romeo's drunken rant, my eyes locked on the cell across from us, where a horned thing glared at me through its prison bars with drool dripping from its massive jaws. WTF?
"He doesn't like much of anything, methinks," Romeo was saying, as I tuned back in to him with wide eyes. "Never before has a jester survived a joke before His Highness." He put a hand to his chest. "But I pride myself in making him laugh once."
"For the thousandth time," grumbled the giant monster-looking creature across from our cell, startling me. "He did not laugh. He cleared his damn throat."
"He did so laugh, Stocky!" Romeo cried. "You weren't even there!"
"Keep it down about the prince," muttered Wolf. "You already got five strikes on a joke."
"Six," Romeo muttered sadly, before turning to me. "Oy, you look depressed and in need of a chuckle, blue eyes. Care to hear a joke from the prince's fifteenth favorite Jester? I could use an ear for practice tonight."
The prince. My thoughts moved to Death's past self while I was subconscious in that dream state. The version of him that wore a crown of bones and a royal cape. "Excuse me," I said, tapping Romeo's shoulder, as he appeared to be throwing out jokes to "Stocky" now across the way. "Where the hell am I?"
"Apologies for eavesdropping, Miss, but I believe the answer is in your question," said Wolf. My head turned to the side, finding Wolf was now standing with his arms draped through the cell bars. "His Highness' torture chambers echo wonderfully, do they not? Better keep your voice down if you want to keep secrets. But between you and me, though, I'm the only one you can trust down here."
"Do not speak to it," Romeo suddenly warned me, "less' you want every word to get back to His Lord's ears."
"I am not an 'it,' you drunken fool," Wolf snarked. "Perhaps you should work on your jokes, before your execution."
"Execution?" I repeated with dread.
"Today marks my seventh strike," Romeo said sadly. "I have failed His Highness too many jokes."
"You are unaware of His Highness' games?" Wolf asked, analyzing me. "Are you not from the court?"
"Oh, drop your trick already, Helvius," Romeo sneered. "I know you're not really Wolf. Lucky bastard went from thief to a knight overnight by the prince two nights ago." Romeo tapped his head. "I might be sloshed, but I listen to my best chum."
"Guess you aren't as belligerent as I thought." Suddenly Wolf washed away like an illusion, and my eyes widened as I recognized the man as Helvius. Helvius had been the slave Alexandru had used to take Cruentas before the gladiating games. "Now Romeo, you know better than to hide a woman down here. It is against my Lord's rules." Helvius' head turned toward me and I noticed the shadow that danced over his eyes. "You shouldn't be down here, dear. But you already know that don't you?"
I glanced at Romeo, who shook his head at me once.
"I demand to be in a room with the prince," I answered. "It's urgent."
Helvius laughed. "The Prince of Darkness makes little time for the likes of you. And better that way. Trust me."
"He doesn't lie there," Romeo muttered.
But the urgency I felt to get this show on the road drove me to take this a step further and cause a little ruckus. "If Alexandru can make time to clip his kitty nails, he can make time for me."
Romeo's mouth popped open. "Did you just say what I think youââ?"
"No one is to refer to the prince in such a manner," Helvius said, and I realized I'd made a greater mistake than I intended, before turning his dark gaze onto Romeo. "What a mouthy mortal. She's a deep sinner, this one, and His Highness will be most disappointed in you hiding her from his court, Jester."
"Wait a minute," I chimed in. "Why should he be punished for something I said?"
Helvius gave a shrug. "The night's been a bit dull thus far. One could use a little drama."
"Helvius, please," Romeo pleaded. "This maiden is clearly fevered and unwell to be talking about our delightfully horrible prince in such a manner, Iââ"
Helvius vanished.
"Evil little elf!" Ripping his jester hat off and tossing it into the wall, Romeo starred long and hard at me with his hands on his hips. "And you! You evil vixen! You have dragged me down to a fiery, darling."
"How was I supposed to know that would happen?"
"Oh, I think you knew exactly what would happen if you know the Prince of Darkness well enough to declare his true name. To his eyes and ears demon slave! And let's not forget the kitty nails comment!"
"Was I wrong?"
Romeo laughed humorlessly. "You voluptuous Devil's spawn. Here to ruin me for all of my sins, I see. I don't even have a joke prepared for when he summons us. My one job."
"Shame the prince isn't here to see your ridiculous fit," bellowed the creature across from our cell. "He just might clear his throat again."
Romeo pulled his hat over his face and muffled a scream.
"Now that was just mean," I said to the creature, who was laughing so hard he was shaking the ground a little. "Listen, Romeoâ"
"Why do you keep calling me that?" he demanded, ripping his hat off. His eyes flashed with something ravenous, as rosy, pink color danced over his iris. "Are you honestly mocking me now? After what you just did to us both?"
"No," I stuttered out. "I was justââ"
"My name is not Romeo," Romeo interjected. "It's Petruchio."
A frown knit my brows. "Isn't that just another Shakespeare character?"
"Yes, and? My mum adored Shakespeare, not that it's any of your business." He gave me a cross look, before hanging his arms through the cell bars and turning his face away from me. "Lovely as your company has been, I think it best to not talk to the jester anymore. Seems you are a cursed joke upon my cell."
I hung my arms through the cell beside Romeo, deep in thought.
My head lifted with a sudden idea. "Or maybe I've brought the joke that will save us both," I said with a little smirk, making Romeo's brow arch with vague interest.
***
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