GRACE Jay stands before me and even though I know itâs all sorts of wrong, I look my fill.
Heâs tall and strong.
Muscles ripple across his chest and arms. Iâve seen him take on men without any fear or hesitation, but to see him now his body is honed to a weapon. And I wonder at that, because wolf or not, such strength comes from training and repetition.
I wonder if thatâs why heâs homeless.
Perhaps he is military and is dealing with trauma or PTSD.
His hair is longer and it covers his eyes with how heâs standing and I think thatâs intentional so I canât get a read on him.
I let my gaze drop lower, and when I focus on that prominent part of him. Itâs thick and long and growing before my eyes. My gaze shoots to his, but I canât tell what heâs thinking.
In the next instant, the air in front of me shimmers. My own vision distorts as I try to track the shift, but the energy makes me blink without seeing.
Then his wolf is rubbing against my side, forcing my hand along the top of his body, as if I need any encouragement to touch him.
I rub my hands along his fur and sink to my knees to stroke him.
He nuzzles my face and neck. Not licking, but more marking me with his scent.
In pack, when weâd all shift itâs how wolves acclimate ourselves and connect. I try not to let myself read more into it.
I hate that my wolf will never get the chance to meet his. That I wonât be able to run through woods like these or scent this wolf or see him with my wolfâs eyes.
Everything is richer, brighter, stronger in my true form.
Ava, I call in my mind. But itâs like hollering into an abyss.
Jay lopes off at a jog and I run to keep up with him. He only dashes ahead maybe twenty feet or so before pausing and walking and I realize heâs doing that for me.
âNo, doât wait.â I grin. âI wouldnât wait for you.â
He barks.
âItâs true. Iâm not big. But I was fast. Letâs see what youâve got, brother.â
His next bark is reprimanding. I laugh. âGo on.â
He hesitates for a moment then takes off running.
I follow after him.
For the first time in over three years, I finally feel free.
Jay runs ahead, leaping and racing. Heâs strong and agile and twice the size of most wolves. Iâve seen him in his true form once before, but somehow, this is different. He runs ahead then circles back to me.
Or heâll pause along the trail and howl to let me know where he is.
After about twenty minutes, he slows to a walk and stays beside me. My eyes have adapted to lack of light and the game trail is actually pretty easy to follow. I expect hikers use it too given the occasional empty can or abandoned doggie bag I see along the trail.
Humansâ¦make a mess of everything.
As the thought surfaces I grimace. Iâm human now.
I frown and feel a strong urge to cry. Jay swings his head at me, his wolf senses picking up the change in my mood. âIâm good,â I tell him. âLetâs keep going.â
He sniffs the air around me as if reassuring himself Iâm all right.
About another fifteen minutes later, I see a break ahead in the trees.
The pines open to a series of open fields and rolling hills. Thereâs a pasture and paddock in the far distance. And one monster of a mansion.
âUh, are we trespassing?â
He jerks his head to the left and I follow him toward a small cabin tucked away at the edge of the woods. He trots along to the small A-frame building. Itâs a combination of stone and logs and looks like it may have been built at the start of the last century.
I step up onto the porch.
There are two rocking chairs. A small table.
A pretty wreath with tinsel and bows on the door.
He nudges the door open with his nose.
Not locked. Okay.
At least weâre not breaking-and-entering.
I follow him inside and pause.
I canât believe what Iâm seeingâ¦