Chapter 45: Chapter 45

I shower and dress.

Rather than hike back through the woods, Jay leads me into town. There’s a bus waiting at the corner stop and we board quickly.

We’re the only two passengers.

I expect him to sit in one of the many vacant rows, but he plops down beside me.

I’m tired and sore and disappointed. As the bus pulls away, I rest my head upon his shoulder. “Thank you for trying,” I whisper.

He grunts.

We’re silent on the ride back to the city.

I’d hoped we could’ve stayed longer, but given how sick I was for the last twelve hours and Jay’s heightened senses, it’s probably best that we left quickly.

As the bright lights of the city come into view and we pass through Pack Stevens territory, I see a giant billboard.

It has Sean and Lily’s face plastered all over it. I groan.

“What?” Jay asks.

I snort. Then I point. "Do you know Sean?"

"The Alpha of the Stevens Pack?"

"You know him too then. Yes, he's the guy who's been in the news recently. Well, I suppose it’s more Page Six gossip than anything really newsworthy. He’s the groom in the marriage between the Stevens Pack and Pack Atkinson, and... he's also..." I hesitate for a moment before saying, "my ex-boyfriend."

Jason’s expression gives away nothing.

“What happened with Sean?” Jay asks.

I roll my eyes as we pass another giant billboard professing the love between him and Lily. Grand gestures are great for movies and books, but something about these many billboards that I see all over the city… they feel more like an advertisement of the couple’s power than any real declaration of love.

“Sister?” Jay prompts.

“We dated for a few years. We met when I was still in college. After I obtained my law degree, we talked about mating and having a proper wedding.”

“Oh?”

"You must think it is incredible that someone like me was once that person's girlfriend.” I laugh bitterly.

"But then there was the altercation with Lily and my grandfather. I went to confront her and the accident happened… I swear to God, I wasn’t drinking. I rarely drink and when I do, I never drive! Then they charged me with vehicular manslaughter. That’s the ‘human’ side of things. According to pack law, I had attacked and killed an Alpha’s daughter. I didn’t even know Lily’s sister. I had no reason to wish her harm. I still feel terrible that she died.”

Jay makes a soft sound.

“anyway, Sean broke up with me. I got sentenced to three years, I supposed I was fortunate to get out in three years for good behavior…"

“What was it like being in jail?”

I want to try and describe the constant fear. The beatings. The horror of being caged. I’m sure being confined helped to hurt my wolf. We’re not meant to be constrained.

I shake my head. “I … can’t.”

Jay touches my hands. It’s not a comforting touch, more that he’s studying the disfigurement of my fingers.

I curl them and tuck my hands in my lap.

"Forget it. It's nothing. It's all in the past." I try to smile.

Jay notices another billboard and his eyes narrow.

“Sean turned on me. As an Alpha, perhaps he thought he had to, for the betterment of his pack. But… I wouldn’t have abandoned him.”

Jay’s lips press into a thin line. “You must love him very much.”

“Love?” I scoff. ”I’m not sure there is such a thing between a man and a woman. A person can love you one day, but tomorrow, you can be thrown away like garbage.”

"I wouldn't throw you away," Jay says.

I feel my lips moving into a smile. "I know, Jay. We’re family.” I take a deep, cleansing breath. "So now I don't think about dating, and I don't think about who I'm going to marry or have children with. For me, these are unattainable things. So why waste time dwelling on them?”

Jay frowns.

"It's just like looking at that advertisement.” I point to yet another billboard. "This ad was put up by Sean for Lily. It’s great PR, right? The charming couple, the perfect quote about foregoing ninety-nine lives to wait for one lifetime together. It's very romantic, isn't it?”

Jay makes a noncommittal sound.

“But it’s nonsense. No one really means those things.” I laugh. “I wonder how Lily would feel if she knew that Sean had said those same words to me. So you see, whether to love someone or change a lover, that's also very easy."

Jay studies one of the ads as the bus stops at a traffic light. It’s a striking picture and a total publicity campaign by both families to drive up their stock values. It’s a clear message to all about the collective power of their combined packs.

"Sister, if you don't like this ad, how about getting it removed tomorrow?”