JASON My body tenses like it does right before a fight. But I donât resist as Grace pulls my body against hers.
Her arms are thin but strong. She rests her head on my chest and holds me close. I breathe carefully, struggling to control the many emotions Iâm feeling. Her scent envelopes me. Itâs that light, faint smell that reminds me of soft summer mornings. And quiet fall nights.
That scent inexplicably gives me a feeling of contentment.
It was as if being by her side allows me to relax completely.
Which is just ridiculous.
"Jay, didn't you say that you would never abandon me? I vow the same, I will never abandon you. No matter what happens in the future, I will stay by your side."
Her voice is a whisper in my ear.
"Would you really stay by my side no matter what?"
"Of course," she replies matter-of-factly.
âThose are easy words, sister.â I let my wolf pulse through. Purposely trying to frighten her. âWonât you be scared of me?"
She chuckles lightly. "Why would I be scared of you? My Jayâ¦â She smiles at me.
My Jay... there she goes again with that wording. Like I belong to her. Oh, Iâm not averse to hearing it. I might even enjoy the pretense of it.
But right now Iâm thinking too much and suddenly our faces are only inches apart. The tips of our noses are almost touching as she turns her face up to mine.
Her hands twine behind my neck.
She bites her bottom lip and I stop thinking entirely.
Graceâs face flushes red, like itâs finally dawning on her that sheâs in my arms. Her body pressed up against mine. When her eyes widen and she instinctively backs up, I sling my arms around her waist, holding her in place.
Grace freezes.
Yeah. Now sheâs getting it.
My wolf rumbles beneath my skin. And she probably senses that too, because Iâm not making any effort to mask him, and heâs a very possessive beast.
Her eyes search mine.
Silly girl, I can practically read her mind, her face is so expressive.
Her eyes are nearly black, her pupils are so blown out. Sheâs playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. And I can smell her arousal.
She wants me.
My hands reflexively tighten on her hips.
Her breath catches.
Thereâs so much vulnerability in this woman. Thatâs the other thing thatâs easy to see. Her uncertainly.
Do I see her as something more than an ex-con.
Yes, Grace.
Do I think less of her because sheâs human.
No, Grace.
What about the scars and baggage, the isolation from pack.
Donât really care about that either, Grace.
She stays here, suspended in my arms as her gaze darts between my eyes and mouth.
âStill see me as your brother, Grace?â
She almost laughs.
And it is funny.
Because this connection, this chemistry between us, there is nothing âbrotherlyâ about it. I see straight through her.
Sheâs attracted to me. The way a woman wants a man.
My phone rings loudly and I growl.
Grace shakes her head as if sheâs coming back to reality. She shoves out of my arms.
I growl again.
* * * * * * * * * *
GRACE "Grace, please sweep the rubbish next to the garbage can. The garbage truck is coming in a while,"
Claire says.
And just like that, I'm jolted from the memories Iâve been replaying all morning.
Memories of me. And Jay.
Almost kissing.
If I close my eyes, I can feel his big, strong body. The thought of his hands on my waist gives me shivers.
âEarth to Claire?â
âYes. Cleaning. All right," I tell her.
I wouldâve much rather stayed home today. With Jay.
I wanted to try and connect to my wolf.
There was a second in that apartment where I felt her.
I heard her.
As Jay growled at me, angry that our moment was interrupted, something happenedâ¦
There was a second growl.
It was low and soft.
And it came from within me.
âAva?â I call out to her again.
She was far far away, but I wanted to believe that whatever separated us, my wolf was intent on coming home to me. And I donât mean that as some metaphor, I think the silver distanced us, and I wanted to believeâneeded to believeâthat she was making her way back to me.
The silver⦠I think it locked her from my body and mind, maybe it constrained her to some part of my soul.
But if I could hear her, could connect with her on some level, then that had to mean she wasn't gone completely.
Thereâs hope.
And I was clinging to that hope with everything in me that I might someday be whole again.
I catch a glimpse of Gus coming into the center and I shoot a quick glance at my friend. Nice of Claire to take me out of Gusâs path. For a while, I wasnât sure if Claire was going to respect my decision or if she was going to keep trying to convince me to give Gus a chance.
Heâs a nice enough man.
But⦠he deserves better than me.
So does Jay for that matter.
I frown.
I cherish Jayâs friendship. I try to imagine what my apartment will feel like without him in and Iâm slammed with depression.
Itâd be one more small, square prison.
If I come home one day and he isnât thereâ¦
A pang of sorrow shoots through my chest.
More of my coworkers are gossiping about the Stevens ad drama. I meant what I said to Jay, I donât care one way or the other about Sean. Iâm just⦠empty as far as Sean is concerned.
If I still cared, then maybe Iâd enjoy seeing Sean embarrassed. It was nice, donât get me wrong, it makes me believe that maybe karma does work. But if I subscribe to all of that then Iâd have to think that I had done something to earn all the turmoil and pain Iâve endured.
Itâs okay. Youâre okay.
Today is a new day.
I walk to the garbage can and start to sweep the surrounding area.
Suddenly, a pair of Dior high heels stop in my view.
Iâve seen plenty of luxury brands and owned Diors, red-bottoms, Manolos and others. One pair of those shoes would pay my rent for months.
I lift me head and Lily's beautiful face comes into sight.