TL/PR : Nesta/YoruNoTsuki
The beast ran and ran. A raging anxiety lurked close by just like the moonlight shadow pursuing him.
Huff, huff.
As he panted heavily, a voice inside was speaking out to him. A voice that connected the past and present and was sharply piercing his mind.
âI only need you.â
As if an old fossil came back to life, someoneâs voice that had been hiding in his innermost self melted and dripped down.
âWe can meet again. So donât cry. Youâre a good boy, right?â
He heard the voice of an unknown person from a distant past.
The voice of someone who had to forsake their life because they chose him.
Even at deathâs door, with a bloodied body, she spoke softly as she pushed all her remaining divinity into him.
The throbbing pain was squeezing his heart.
Suddenly, Aymon stopped running. His rough breathing echoed through the quiet forest.
âYou are going to stay by my side, right?â
At last, he recalled the humanâs whisper as she stroked him. A low voice that was engraved deeply with pain and longing.
The beast slowly lowered his head.
Thump, thump.
A voice that filled up his mind like a hallucination was lighting up his heart.
***
When did I fall asleep again?
Belinda blinked vacantly.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
Just now, she was staring blankly at the door from where Aymon left and was laid down.
They said that being pregnant would make one fall asleep all day, and it seems to be especially true for her. After calling Aymon a foolish cat, she just closed her eyes and suddenly fell into slumber.
Until now. Rustling on the bed, she raised her aching body only to discover two bright blue eyes.
ââ¦.Aymon?â
When she called him, he, who looked down at her, pulled out a wry face. Veins were bulging over the back of his clenched hands due to unbearable emotions.
Belinda finally smiled lightly.
Ahh, this must be a dream.
She easily concluded that it was a dream. For Aymon, who wasnât a black beast but a human, to be around like this.
The eyes that looked down at her painfully were wet under the moonlight. It was unmistakably a dream, but still a pleasant one regardless.
Belinda slowly stretched her arms toward her mate, whom she met again in a daydream.
âWhy are you crying? This is supposed to be a sweet dream.â
Iâve never met you even once in my dream before like this, so youâre supposed to be happy.
Only the blood-soaked Aymon appeared in her dream. Only the last image of him turning his back on her appeared in her dream. Each time, she would wake up from her dream with a cold sweat, reaching out her hand.
But it was different this time. Aymon was right in front of her. It was a happy dream from which she didnât want to wake up.
Soon a solid arm pulled her and embraced her tightly.
Aymon buried his face on Belindaâs neck and rubbed his lips, arms trembling a bit. As if afraid of getting separated again, they desperately found each other and shared a heartfelt embrace.
He faced her again, with a pleading look as if he was some sort of devout believer of god.
A hot lump rose from his throat.
âBreedee. Breedee.â
So many words were swirling within him, but none of them were able to come out. If he opened his mouth, he was afraid that these irrepressible emotions would cascade down like a waterfall, so he was barely able to call out her name.
Pieces of jumbled memories flooded back. Just like the water filling the empty spring, only relief and joy filled him to the brim once again.
This body. It was Belindaâs. Even though he wandered around the forest as a beast, his throat was always dry of the burning thirst as if walking aimlessly through the desolate desert. But he was always filled with confusion.
Because she wasnât present in his life. Because he forgot her like a fool.
âAymon?â
In disbelief, Belinda glanced down at him, who buried himself in her neck. Embracing her earnestly, he then nestled in her chest as if slowly collapsing.
Belinda hugged him and relished herself in the warmth that touched her. He clung to her and asked to be spoiled like he did in the past.
Can a dream be this vivid? It feels like Aymon is really back.
If she just wake up from her dream right now, she didnât think she can handle the overflowing sorrow.
The happiness that she tasted for a moment was so vivid.
Belinda smiled bitterly and swept his hair. She patted him very gently like soothing a child who trembled in anxiety.
âYou know. Even when I died a long time agoâ¦. You had the exact same face as the one Iâm seeing now. You look like youâre about to cry.â
ãâ¦â¦.ã
âYou havenât changed, my dear cat.â
Belinda recited like a whisper, and soon leaned her cheek against his head. It was rather sad because of how vivid the touch was.
She pretended to be alright, but all of that was something she wanted the most. She wanted to be hugged by Aymon more than anything else right now.
âI couldnât tell you both in our previous life and this life. You wonât know unless I express it, but I kept it hidden in my heart then and still nowadays.â
ãâ¦â¦.ã
âI love you, Aymon. I always loved you. When I was Lapyan, and when I met you again in this life.â
Belinda blurted out a confession she couldnât say for a long time, and hugged him tightly in her chest.
Tears dripped down one by one.
âYou must have a hard time by yourself, right? You must be very lonely.â
Belinda pulled him deeper into her embrace, showing sympathy of Aymon, who wandered alone in his past life.
Losing him now was nothing compared to what he went through.
Aymon struggled through a few dreadful reincarnation all by himself. He had to endure the longing for Belinda until he closed his eyes again in loneliness.
Hundreds of years ago, Aymon went on a rampage, even going as far as killing the Shinsu and humans all because of her. Like a fool, she only remembered it now after all this time.
Even at that time, Belinda, who was born again, this time as a member of the Imperial family, was unable to recognize her true self and caused him to run rampage again after she got killed in an accident.
If she had known beforehand, sheâd probably be able to prevent it. She left her beast succumbs in sorrow and guilt all alone, resulting in him going crazy. At that time, too, she left him so easily.
She always took up the role of leaving Aymon. And it is always Aymonâs role to be left behind.
So itâs only right for me to miss you in this life.
If this was indeed her sin, all she needed to do was to wait until her end came. It was her bitter share of this life. The sin she had to pay for pushing him into the depths of loneliness.
Oh my pitiful cat. Because of me, youâ¦
But before she could utter her apology inwardly, Aymon whispered an apology first.
âIâm sorry.â
âHm?â
âIâm sorry, so sorry.â
Belindaâs body tensed up. His voice was too realistic to be a dream.
The hot tears that fell were also very realistic. Tears welled up on his eyes and it seemed to cut through her heart.
âItâs my fault for being greedy for you in the first place. Itâs my fault that I was helpless when you died, that I died countless times without recognizing you, and forgot everything when I met you again.â
ââ¦â¦.â
âIâm sorry for dumping everything on you and running away by myself. Forgive me, Breedee.â
His confession shocked her like a tree caught in a storm, and wreaked havoc in her mind like it was a battlefield.
But the sincerity contained in his words prickled Belindaâs heart like a thorn.
So she grabbed her sinking heart and clenched it painfully.
Ahâ¦.
Only then she realized.
It was really Aymon.
His tears seeped into her thin nightgown. Her shoulders were getting wet with the hot water streaming from his eyes.
It wasnât a dream.
The beast, who had been staring at her with an unfamiliar gaze as if he was meeting her for the first time everytime they met in the garden, finally turned into her lover and returned to her. As if pouring out his love, he hugged her and cried in silence.
âAymon.â
She recited his name in disbelief.
It seemed like an illusion, but the warmth she felt throughout her body was unmistakably his.
It was Aymon.
The precious cat who loved and treasured her more than anyone else.
My companion is back!
âAymon. Aymon.â
She repeatedly called her name while sobbing.
Aymon, raised his body, and hugged Belinda tightly in his arms. With much difficulty, Belinda finally let out a choked out breath.
His solid arms swept up her trembling back to soothe her. Each time his big, warm palms grazed her gently, Belinda dropped a tear.
âWhy, whyâ¦â
Why did only you come back now?
She wanted to be angry at him, but she couldnât do that because her joy overflowed her anger. She was so happy, but she kept crying due to the pain of the endless waiting.
So many months of intense longing. She believed he would come back, but she also struggled in the anxiety of losing him forever.
But he appeared in front of her again.
She didnât have to pretend to be strong anymore. She didnât have to feign a smile as if everything was alright. Even if she burst into tears and collapsed, she once again had someone to lean on .
âFoolish catâ¦.â
The repressed anger began to seethe.
So Belinda raised her fist and swung it to his chest.
Aymon carefully wrapped her hand and pushed his fingers between hers.
Upon feeling the overlapping warmth, Belinda shrunk her shoulder and cried again and again.
Uwaaaa-
She cried loudly like a child. The repressed emotion flooded in as if it just exploded.
âWhy did only you come back now? Whyâ¦?!â
You donât even know what I felt while waiting for you. You donât even know how much my heart broke watching you growling at me without remembering anything.
Aymon fully took in all the pouring resentment in his heart and kissed her eyelids.
âIâm sorry, Breedee. You must have suffered a lot. Please forgive me.â
Along with a gentle kiss, he whispered. Throughout the night, his confession was calm but hot. Every sentence was accompanied with tears.
Belinda fell down and grabbed his fingers. She pulled his fingers close to her and leaned on him as if clinging.
Watching such Belinda, Aymon embraced her endlessly.
Only then their cold fingertips began to warm up.
The two were silent. Her trembling shoulders and occasional sobbing was the only thing disturbing the sorrowful silence of that night.
They did not separate until the moon went down and the morning sun came. As if they didnât want to be away from each other again.