Chapter 27: CHAPTER 25

Anim na araw na ang nakakalipas simula nang magkamalay ako. Mahirap pa rin para sa akin ang gumalaw.  Sinubukan ni Mateo na kausapin ako at si Kyle, pero hindi niya nagawa dahil paulit-ulit siyang pinapalayo ni Kyle.  He even knelt and begged just to talk to us.

Minsan nasasaktan ako para sa kanya dahil sa nangyayari, pero hindi ko masisisi ang anak ko.  Napatawad ko na si Mateo, pero hindi ko alam kung may chance pa na makikipagbalikan ako sa kanya. Kahit alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal ko pa siya.

Makipagbalikan? Mahal pa siya? How funny saying those words, right? Knowing it was all fake. We have no relationship at all.

“Anak, hindi mo ba kayang patawarin ang Daddy mo?” I asked him. He was sitting beside me, hugging me.  “I know it’s hard for you to understand, but let’s give him a second chance?”  I asked as I caressed his cheeks.

“I don’t know, Mom, because of his friend, that’s happened to us it was a nightmare, Mommy. And he hurt you. I do want to forgive him, but the pain he caused us is too much,” he said, avoiding eye contact.

“It’s not your dad’s fault, right? His friend was the one who did it. And Mommy’s also at fault,” I tried to convince him.

“Mom, what do you mean?” he asked.

I took a deep breath, readying myself before I spoke.

I believe everyone deserves a second chance. We all make mistakes... We’re not saints.

“Mommy lied. It’s not true that Daddy worked far away... Sa madaling salita, I hid you from Daddy. He didn’t know we had a baby. I hid you from him. I didn’t tell him because we had a problem that time, so Mommy went to the States,” I said. He furrowed his brow.

“What do you mean po, Mommy?”  He asked curiously, scratching his eyebrow.

I didn’t want my son to grow up na mayroong tampo sa Daddy niya.

"Long story, but to make it short, your Daddy loves you. He was mad when he found out I didn't tell him we had a baby—that's you. And Daddy was really angry when you were lost. He was the one who wanted to go to that building first to save you," I explained, smoothing his hair.

"Daddy did that? But we fought years ago, and I kept pushing him away, telling him not to come near us," he said, frowning. I just smiled at him and shook my head.

"Yes, your Daddy did that because he loves you. Because of me, you haven't been with your Daddy for four years, and I don't think Daddy meant to fight with you. What was the reason why you two fought?"

"Natapunan po ko siya ng juice, but I didn’t mean to,” he said. I nodded and smoothed his hair with my fingers

“Mom, I understand that you had a problem back then,” I smiled and kissed my son’s forehead.

“Don’t you forgive Daddy na?” I asked him.

“I will forgive Daddy, but what if Daddy’s angry at me? Because I didn’t let him talk to us. I kept pushing him away. Am I bad, Mommy?” He looked at me with a worried expression. I was speechless with his question.

Hindi ko rin alam ang sagot. Is he mad? Hindi ko alam kung paano siya sasagutin.

"Daddy won’t get mad. He’s hurt, but he won’t be angry because he loves you, and you’re not bad,” I said, smiling at him. “Daddy is waiting for your forgiveness,” I added, and he smiled back at me.

“I’m ready to forgive him, Mommy,” he said with a smile. His words made my smile even wider.

“Really? Okay, if I can, I will talk to Daddy,” I kissed him all over his face. He pulled away, looking disgusted.

“Ew, Mom, I’m not a baby anymore,” he said, wiping his face in disgust.

I laughed. This naughty boy. Parang kailan lang ay gustong-gusto niyang kinikiss ko siya ngayon nandidiri na siya.

"I don't care, you're still my baby," I teased. We were still joking around when Montevallo, De Villa, and Montefalco, along with Mama, entered the room.

"Good afternoon po," I greeted them with a smile.

"Good afternoon," they all replied in unison.  My son went to his grandparents and greeted them one by one. He stopped when he was in front of his Dad. He looked up and stared at his Daddy, and I saw Mateo gulp. I was nervous about what might happen...

"Daddy, I'm sorry," he hugged Mateo and apologized. Mateo was confused and didn't know what to do. He looked at me, and I just nodded and smiled.

Para akong na tanggalan nang tinik sa dibdib.

“Hey, buddy, what’s wrong? Why are you saying sorry?” Mateo asked, patting Kyle on the back.

“I’m sorry for blaming you and keeping pushing you away. For not letting you talk to us,” Kyle said. Mateo smiled, and I have to say, he looked really handsome.

Mateo but his side cheeks. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s fine. Daddy was hurt, but I’m okay. I love you, and Daddy loves you. Understood? Daddy deserves your anger,” Mateo said, his eyes becoming teary. My son nodded and looked at me. I smiled at him.

“Sorry for shouting and being a bad boy to you, Daddy. Please forgive me, Daddy,” he said, his voice cracking.

“I told you I understand. Stop crying now, alright?” I wiped his tears. Mama was doing the same behind us.

I looked at the others in the room and saw that they were happy for my son and his father. They were focusing on the two of them. But Francisco was looking at me, so I furrowed my brow.

“Why?” I mouthed. He walked closer to me.

“Are you okay now? Does anything still hurt?” he asked. I shook my head and smiled.

“Sometimes my wound aches, but it goes away quickly,” I said with a smile. “Ikaw, how are you?” I asked him.

“That’s good. I’m fine,” he said. I smiled back at him.

Nginisihan ko siya. “How’s your love life? Do you have a girlfriend na ba?” I teased him.

“I don’t. I wish it was you,” he said, but I didn’t catch his last words.

“What was that? Hindi ko narinig,” I asked curiously.

He shook his head. “Nothing. I said, I am planning to court someone but I stopped because she treats me like a brother only.” I felt sad for him. I hugged him and patted his back.

“It’s fine. There are many other girls out there,” I said, trying to comfort him. He just laughed.  When I turned back to see what was happening, I met Mateo's gaze. He was looking at us. All I could see in his eyes was jealousy.

I didn’t know why, but I suddenly moved away from Francisco a little. Francisco looked at me, but I just smiled. My chest felt like it was about to explode because my heart was beating so fast.

“Let’s eat. May dala kaming pagkain,” Tita Mica said, bringing our attention to her.

“Oh, yeah, we also bought a cake,” Tita Majika added.

“Tara na, apo, Kyle. Mamaya na ang laro. Kain ka muna,” Mama called to Kyle, who was busy playing on his phone while sitting on his Daddy’s lap.

“Kain na tayo, Liana,” Francisco called to me. I just nodded because I still couldn't stand up on my own.

Habang pinaglalaruan ko ang daliri ko, lumapit sa akin si Mateo na may dala-dalang pagkain.

"Eat," he offered, handing it to me. I just shook my head.

"Busog pa ako, pero thank you," I said with a smile, even though I wanted to disappear into the floor because my cheeks were burning.

“Just eat,” he insisted, trying to keep things from becoming awkward. I just accepted it.

"Thank you," I whispered, but it was loud enough for him to hear. He didn’t respond and just turned away.

Napahinga na lang ako ng malalim. Nahuli kong nakatingin sa akin si Francisco, kaya nginitian ko siya at tinanguan.

“Anak, okay ka lang ba?” Mama asked.  Everyone else had already gone home. It was just Mama and Kyle left here. Mateo wanted to stay, but I didn’t let him because it would be awkward.

“Opo, Ma. Bakit?” I asked her. She sat down beside me.

“Kanina ko pa napapansin ang tahimik mo. May problema ba?” Mama said. I looked at Kyle. He was already asleep, so I turned back to Mama.

“Ma, sa tingin mo sa lahat ng nangyari deserve ni Mateo makilala ang anak namin?” I asked her.  She smiled and smoothed my hair.

“Oo naman, anak. Kahit anong gawin mo, siya pa rin ang ama ng bata.  Oo, nagkasalanan siya, pero lahat tayo nagkakamali. Lahat tayo may rason bakit tayo nakakagawa ng kasalanan. Pero yung iba hindi katanggap-tanggap ang rason.  Kaya kung ako sa'yo, kausapin mo siya.  Wala akong sinasabi na patawarin mo siya agad dahil sa sinabi ko, pero ang gusto ko ayusin niyo ang meron sainyo.  Dahil paglaki ng anak niyo, ang bata ang mahihirapan sa sitwasyon niyo. Kaya pag-isipan niyong mabuti,” she said.  I just listened to her.

Ika nga nila, mother knows best. But I also believe in mother doesn’t know what’s the best for their children sometimes.

"Alam mo ba nung wala kang malay, naki-usap siya sa akin? Sinabi niya ang rason niya sa akin kung bakit niya nagawa iyon? Gusto mo ba malaman?” Mama asked. I nodded.

She took a deep breath before continuing.

“Nung panahong nakita niya ikaw sa daan, hindi siya nagdalawang-isip kung tutulungan ka niya. Dahil isa siyang kinakatakotan ng lahat at hindi niya gawain ang tumulong. Pero dahil wala raw dumadaan kung saan ka naka-handusay, tinulungan ka niya dahil ang naka-bangga sa'yo iniwan ka lang doon. Nung nasa ospital na kayo at nalinisan ka ng lahat, doon na niya kita ang mukha mo at doon siya tuluyang nabighani sa'yo. Nung una, baka raw nalilito lang siya dahil hindi naman daw ito naniniwala sa pag-ibig, pero kahit na kalimutan ka daw nito ay hindi niya magawa. Nang unti-unti niyang narealize na gusto ka nito, siya'y nag-panggap bilang asawa mo upang hindi ka malayo sa kanya, kahit anong mangyari, willing siyang iwan ang pinaghirapan nito makapiling ka lang,” Mama said. I didn’t know why, but my heart started beating faster.

"Pero paano, Ma?  Kapag mahal lang ako ni Mateo dahil obsess siya sa akin, ayun ang sabi sa akin ni Tita Majika. O dahil may anak kami?" I asked, my voice weak.

“Anak, alam mo ba nung nakahiga ka lang dito, tuwing naiwan siya mag-isa rito, umiiyak siya at paulit-ulit na humihingi ng patawad at sinasabi kung gaano ka niya kamahal? Tuwing pagdating niya rito, kinukwento niya kung anong nangyayari sa kanya araw-araw. Para siyang baliw rito habang kausap ang sarili. At nung sinabi ng ibang tao na dapat bitawan ka at hayaang mamatay ka na, siya mismo ang unang nagalit, nagbanta pa siya na kung hindi sila titigil, sila ang uunahin nito. At pinakita niya sa akin ang mga peklat niya sa likod. Nabanggit niya sa akin na sa tuwing nasisigawan siya, nilalatigo niya ang sarili niya,” Mama said. I was shocked by what she said.

“Sinabi niya at ginawa niya ‘yon?” I asked, unable to believe it. Mama just nodded.

"Oo, galit na galit siya, pero kumalma rin siya nung lumingon siya sa'yo. Kahit ang Tita Majika mo, hirap siyang pakalmahin nung panahon na 'yon. Kay Kyle naman, hindi niya pinapansin ang ama niya. Tuwing pupunta siya rito, tuwing lalapit si Mateo sa kanya, pinapaalis niya ang ama niya o 'di kaya'y lalayo siya," Mama said, looking at Kyle who was sleeping soundly.

"Nung una, ganon ang trato niya sa ama niya. Nagalit ako, pero yung rason niya naman alam ko, pero ayaw kong binabastos niya ang ama niya kaya napagsasabihan ko at nagtatampo," I said, looking at my son who was sleeping peacefully. Even in his sleep, I could see Mateo's face.

"Paano, Ma? Mahal ko siya, pero hindi maayos ang lagay namin… Hindi ko nga alam kung may namamagitan nga ba sa amin," I said to her, still looking at Kyle.

"Mararamdaman din 'yan ni Mateo, at kung mahal ka talaga ni Mateo, maghihintay iyan hanggang sa umamin ka sa nararamdaman mo. Lagi mo lang tatandaan na kahit anong desisyon mo, nandito lang si Mama upang masandalan mo," Mama said. I hugged her and repeatedly thanked her.

"Sige na, pahinga ka na. Bukas ulit. Anong oras na," she said. I nodded and closed my eyes as she kissed my forehead.

Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang o panaginip dahil may nararamdaman akong humalik sa noo ko.

“I missed you, mahal kita… And Kyle,” a whisper, but I didn’t pay attention because I was already drowsy.