Forgiveness is something that everyone, regardless of background, faith, or belief system, will encounter in life. At some point, we will hurt others, and others will hurt us. When this happens, how should we respond? Should we seek revenge, hold onto resentment, or extend forgiveness?
Many believe that forgiveness should have limits. In society, people often say, "I can forgive, but I will never forget," or "They don't deserve my forgiveness." Some even believe that forgiving too much is a sign of weakness. But Jesus taught something radically different-forgiveness should have no limits.
In the Gospel of Matthew (18:21-35), Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, asked, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Peter thought he was being generous because, in Jewish tradition, people were taught to forgive only up to three times. But Jesus responded, "Not seven times, but seventy times seven." This wasn't a literal number; it was a call to unlimited forgiveness.
This message is not just for Christians-it is for everyone. Forgiveness is not just a religious teaching but a universal principle that brings healing, peace, and freedom. No matter who we are, we all need forgiveness, and we all need to forgive.
1. The True Meaning of Forgiveness
Forgiveness does not mean excusing wrong behavior, pretending it never happened, or allowing someone to continue hurting us.
Instead, true forgiveness means:
Letting go of resentment - Holding onto anger only harms us. It does not change the past or the person who wronged us.
Releasing the desire for revenge - When we seek revenge, we trap ourselves in a cycle of pain. Forgiveness frees us from that burden.
Choosing peace over bitterness - Carrying grudges only creates stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. Forgiveness allows us to heal and move forward.
In the parable Jesus told, a servant owed a massive debt to a king-ten thousand talents, which was an impossible amount to repay. In today's terms, it would be like owing millions of dollars. The servant begged for more time to pay, but instead of giving him time, the king completely forgave his debt.
However, the same servant then found another man who owed him a much smaller amount-just a hundred pence, which was a tiny fraction of what he had been forgiven. Instead of showing mercy, he demanded immediate payment and threw the man into prison.
When the king heard about this, he was angry. He called the servant back and said, "I forgave you everything. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?" Because of his lack of mercy, the king reversed his forgiveness and sent him to be punished.
This story teaches a powerful truth: we all need forgiveness, yet we often struggle to forgive others.
2. Why Forgiveness is Important
Forgiveness is not just something we do for others; it is something we do for ourselves. When we refuse to forgive, we carry a heavy burden that affects every part of our lives.
a) Forgiveness Heals the Heart
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only harms us.
Studies show that holding grudges can lead to:
Increased stress and anxiety
High blood pressure and heart disease
Depression and emotional distress
But when we forgive, we release the pain, allowing ourselves to heal emotionally and physically.
b) Forgiveness Restores Relationships
No relationship can survive without forgiveness. Whether in families, friendships, or communities, conflicts will arise. If we hold onto every mistake, relationships will break apart. But when we choose to forgive and rebuild, we strengthen our bonds.
Imagine a world where no one forgave-where every mistake ended a relationship, and every hurt created an unbreakable wall between people. That world would be full of loneliness, hatred, and division.
Forgiveness is what keeps love alive.
c) Forgiveness Reflects True Love
Whether you believe in God or not, love is the highest calling of humanity. And forgiveness is love in action. To forgive means to show grace even when someone does not deserve it.
Jesus, who was innocent, was crucified but still prayed for those who hurt Him, saying, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34). If He could forgive His enemies in His deepest pain, how much more should we strive to forgive those around us?
3. Does Forgiveness Mean Ignoring Wrong?
Many people misunderstand forgiveness. It does not mean:
â Approving of bad behavior - Wrong is still wrong. We can forgive without excusing or justifying someone's harmful actions.
â Allowing continued abuse - If someone repeatedly harms us, we should set healthy boundaries while still choosing to let go of resentment. Forgiveness does not mean tolerating mistreatment.
â Forgetting the lesson - We may remember what happened, but forgiveness allows us to move forward without anger or bitterness controlling our lives.
â Eliminating consequences - Forgiveness does not remove accountability. Someone may still need to face legal, social, or personal consequences for their actions.
â Forcing reconciliation - Forgiving someone does not always mean restoring the same relationship. Trust takes time to rebuild, and in some cases, maintaining distance is the wisest choice.
â Suppressing emotions - Forgiving does not mean ignoring or hiding your pain. It is okay to acknowledge your hurt while choosing to release resentment.
â Forgiving only when they apologize - True forgiveness is a decision we make in our hearts, even if the other person never admits their wrongdoing. Holding onto anger only harms us, not them.
Jesus taught that we should correct those who do wrong (Luke 17:3), but He also emphasized that we must always be willing to forgive (Matthew 18:22). We must balance truth and grace.
Every person on earth has hurt someone, and every person has been hurt by someone. The question is not if we will be wronged, but how we will respond when we are.
Jesus' parable teaches us that just as we desire mercy when we fail, we must extend that same mercy to others. We are not meant to live in bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness sets us free.
If you are holding onto a grudge, ask yourself:
Is this anger helping me or hurting me?
Is my unforgiveness making my life better or worse?
Do I want peace, or do I want to carry this burden forever?
Whether you believe in God or not, forgiveness is a universal principle that leads to healing. When we let go of resentment, we open our hearts to love, joy, and peace.
Take a step today. Choose forgiveness. Not because the other person deserves it, but because you deserve freedom.