Ryanâs fingers on his lap tightened slightly, clasping into his palm.
âThe experts suggest that I go abroad for surgery,â he said, glancing at Edith standing nearby.
âAfter I finish the surgery, I will ask Miss Evans to assist me with rehabilitation therapy.â
Edith seemed to understand Ryanâs thoughts and nodded at Amelia.
âMr. Collins and I have already discussed it. When he returns from surgery, I will be the one to assist him.â
Ameliaâs gaze lingered on Ryanâs leg for a moment before shifting away.
âWhen and where will you have the surgery? Eva and I will visit you.â
The expression in Ryanâs eyes revealed darkness and uncertainty.
âItâs just a minor surgery. You donât need to visit, and besides, if you and Eva come, I will be distracted taking care of you. Letâs wait until I come back, and then we can all be together as a family.â
The term âfamilyâ drew a clear boundary, like going back to childhood, where siblings relied on each other and enjoyed each otherâs company. But as they grew up, they each went their separate ways, maintaining a distance while still caring for each other. They occasionally met when they had the time, and thatâs what family meant.
Ryanâs unspoken words made Amelia, who had been keeping her distance, feel a bit guilty. Perhaps he refused her visit because he sensed her dilemma.
Seeing the heaviness weighing on her, Ryan spoke again:
âDonât worry, Zoey will take care of me. Iâll be fine.â
Ryan looked over at Zoey standing nearby, and she reluctantly spoke up.
âAmelia, donât worry.â
Amelia lowered her eyes slightly, hesitated for a few seconds, and then slowly raised her clear gaze.
As she looked at the man in the wheelchair, a serene smile appeared on her face.
âOkay, I wonât miss your coming when youâre healthy after the surgery.â
She had promised to give him a big gift when he could stand up again.
âI will come back healthy for your gift,â Ryan nodded with a smile, waving goodbye to her.
âGoodbye, Amelia.â
âGoodbye, Ryan.â
Watching his figure cross the threshold and leave the villa, Ryanâs hidden sadness burst forth, and tears blurred his vision in an instant.
As his sight became blurry, he couldnât even see that graceful figure clearly, but he dared not blink, afraid that tears would flow uncontrollablyâ¦.
He had read many books when he was young, and he remembered the most profound line of poetry:
âItâs best not to meet, so there can be no love. Itâs best not to know, so there can be no longing.â
At that time, he thought that he could understand the eight sufferings of life that Buddha spoke of: birth, aging, sickness, death, separation from loved ones, encountering enemies, not getting what one wants, and the five aggregates of grasping. Only then would his journey in this world not be in vain.
Now that he personally experienced the pain of separation and unfulfilled desires, he realized the ups and downs and the heart-wrenching agony involved, and he wonderedâ¦
If they had never met in the first place, would he not feel this longing?