For the first time in what feels like ages, I awaken with a flutter of excitement in my stomach. I turn my head into the pillow and smile. When I close my eyes, I see him. Standing there, right in front of me, watching me intently. I see him leaning down, I feel his lips...
Why did the morning come so fast? I have to go to class, but all I want to do is lie here, thinking about last night. About him. The kiss. I hear water running in the kitchen. I know it's Nina. She's getting ready for school, maybe making herself food. I get out of bed, thinking about Daniel. Probably in his room now, sleeping. Did the kiss mean as much to him as it did to me?
Once I'm ready for the warm day, wearing in my summer dress, I come out of the room, Nina smiles at me from the kitchen. I feel guilty for my joy. I can tell she's still upset, but trying to keep it hidden,
"Morning!" I say, walking over to her and giving her a gentle hug, she grins turning her head towards me, "let me help you with that" I say, taking the knife from her to chop up the tomatoes, in the meantime she's preparing the cheese for out toasties. When we're done, we go over to the kitchen table to eat,
"Why are you so giddy?" she asks as she takes a bite,
"I'm not"
"Don't lie, I've known you since forever" she says,
"I'm sorry about last night" I say, changing the topic,
"Don't be, I'm the one that's sorry. I know I overreacted, but you also have to understand it's not George"
"Okay, it's a clean slate with him. I'll forget everything that's happened, but Nina?"
"What?"
"You need to promise to be careful. Whoever is after me might be following you too"
"I know, I will be... Now spill the beans, what's happening with you and Daniel?" she asks straight out, caught off guard I can hardly swallow my last bite,
"Shh!" I whisper, "he might hear you!" Nina laughs,
"He's sleeping. Now tell me!"
"There's nothing..."
"You're lying. Tell me everything!" she demands,
"Why do you think there's something with me and Daniel?" I whisper,
"Oh, you're both so obvious! Eating each other up with your eyes every time you look at one another!"
"Really? Did you really see him look at me?" I ask, unwillingly sounding hopeful, Nina rolls her eyes,
"You're so clueless! All Daniel's been thinking about for weeks is you" she says, I can't stop my smile,
"How do you know?"
"He's always asking about you, whenever you're home he's in a good mood. When you're not here he gets broody, impossible to even talk to him"
"Are you serious?"
"Obviously, wow you're more clueless than I thought!" I smile once again, her words music to my ears,
"We kissed" I admit quietly, Nina jumps from chair,
"When?" she all but yells,
"Shh! Nina!" I scold, glancing at Daniel's bedroom, worried he might wake up and hear,
"When did you kiss?" she asks in a slightly quieter tone,
"Last night"
"Talk"
And so I do. On our way to university, I tell her everything. Including things I didn't even know. Like how much I've been crushing on him for the past couple of weeks, how he makes my tummy flutter when he's close, how he's been occupying my every thought,
"You're in love" she concludes, I laugh at her words, dismissing them as a joke. Though they do make me wonder â how do I feel about him? What if I actually fall in love, and he doesn't? What if the kiss was just a bit of fun for him? Should I be taking a major step back?
After class that day, I head straight home. I have my back pack thrown over my shoulder, my hair freely bouncing on my back. I had a chat over the phone to Lara this morning, Elias was released and he's home now, resting. As I near the exiting gate, I stop, shocked. Daniel is standing there, on the side of the walkway, his arms crossed over his chest, staring directly at me.
It's funny. He doesn't belong here. He's only a few years older than me, so it's not his age that's the issue. It's the way he looks. Everyone that walks past him glances at him. Some girls giggle and whisper to one another, while some guys look a little envious. But the thing is, he's standing there like he can't even see them. His eyes never leave me. Nina's words from this morning come to mind, 'eating each other with your eyes' is that what we're doing now?
I walk over to him, trying my best not to think of last night, his kiss, his lips, his hands on me. Be brave. Don't think of that now. Don't be so obvious!
"What are you doing here?" I ask, like the kiss had never happened,
"Waiting for you"
"You don't have to do that"
"Do what?"
"Pick me up. It's still daylight"
"I didn't come for that reason, I came because I'm hungry, and I want us to go eat"
"Us?"
"Yes. Us. C'mon" he turns and starts walking away, leaving me no choice but to hurry after him, because he didn't ask if I want lunch, he just said we're having it,
"How did you even know when I finish?" I ask, he looks down at me and takes my book bag off me, placing it over his shoulder,
"Hey, you don't need to do that, it's not heavy" I say, reaching to take it back from him, he just turns his body away from me, so I can't reach it,
"Asked Nina" he says, and it takes me a moment to realise he's responding to my earlier question,
"When did you talk to Nina?"
"Just before"
"You're a man of few words" I mumble,
"And you're extremely curious"
"Well, obviously" I defend, I resist the urge to ask where we're going. I don't want to sound even more curious, so we walk silently for a little while. We're in the central part of the city, walking down the main street,
"Where are we going?" I finally ask, not able to keep it in,
"Here" he points to a small café on the corner,
"So, what?" I ask, "is this some sort of date?" he looks down at me with a cheeky smile,
"If you want it to be" he says. I don't respond to that. I think my voice would give me away. Obviously I'd like it to be a date. But he doesn't need to know that.
We enter the café, he leads us to the table at the very end. There's a menu on the table, I pick it up, scanning over the food options. Not much of a conversation is happening as we order food. Only a few words or comments here and there. He's not an overly talkative person, and I'm feeling unnaturally shy. Every time I look at him, I'm reminded of last night, so I avoid looking at him altogether.
"I have a question" he asks after we order, I glance up at him,
"Yeah?"
"Why are you single?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"A genuine one. You're young, smart, beautiful... but I never saw you with a guy"
"You've only known me for a short time"
"True"
"There"
"But I spoke with Nina"
"About what?"
"About you"
"What about me? When?"
"Does it matter?"
"I think it matters"
"You were in only one relationship before, right?"
"Nina told you that?" I ask, wondering when they talked and how the topic of me came up,
"Yes" he smirks, "is that true?"
"It is" I respond, "so what else did Nina tell you?"
"A lot of things"
"Like?"
"Well, aren't you curious?"
"Okay. Don't tell me. Maybe I'll talk to Phil, then. Ask him stuff about you"
"And why would you want to know stuff about me?" he asks, the playful smirk never leaving his lips,
"For the same reason you asked Nina about me"
"For the same reason?" he asks, I nod, "means you like me, too?"
"Huh?" I gasp, staring at him wide eyed, he just said he likes me! Is he serious? Is he joking? He bursts out laughing,
"You're uncomfortable. Blushing like a teenager" he says, my hand goes to my cheek, trying to cool it down. Am I really blushing?
"I'm not uncomfortable"
"Tell me, why did you leave your first and only?" he asks, still smiling, I'm thankful beyond words that the topic was changed,
"So, Nina didn't tell you that part?"
"No, she said it's your story to tell"
"It is"
"Then tell it"
"I don't think so"
"Why not?"
"You know everything about me. You know how I grew up, where I came from, you know about my relationship... and me? I don't know anything about you"
"What do you want to know?" he asks, "how many girls I've been with?"
"Uh, no!" I say, though I really do want to know, but it feels too personal, "I want to know about you"
"What about me?"
"Like your life story. How you got here"
"Walked. With you" he grins,
"Not here!" I do a dramatic eye roll, "but like, in your life"
"Not much to tell"
"Phil said you had a rough past"
"Relatively" he says, and doesn't explain,
"Elaborate" I prompt,
"Nothing to elaborate. Grew up poor, in Marilake, my parents divorced when I was two"
"You lived with your mum?"
"I did, until about ten. Then mum went to prison"
"Oh! Is she... is everything okay now?"
"She got out, then got back in. We lost touch"
"Where is she now?"
"Last I heard, she was in Marilake. Got married to some drunk"
"And you don't talk?"
"Never"
"Maybe you should"
"Don't even have her number, or address"
"Maybe you should find it. Reconnect"
"Why?"
"She's your mother"
"Hardly" he shrugs, "now back to you. Why are you single? Never answered that?"
"You didn't tell me about your dad"
"My dad?" he snorts, "he's in prison right now. He was involved in armed robbery, ended up killing someone... life in prison"
"I'm sorry..." I say quietly, feeling a little guilty I pushed the topic,
"Don't be. He's better off in prison. At least he can't do drugs there"
"Must be hard for you?"
"No. Lost contact with my parents when I was young. Only reason I even know stuff is hearing it from random people"
"But then who did you grow up with?"
"Enough about me" he smirks, "I answered everything you asked. Now back on you. Why did you and your boyfriend break up? How long were you together?"
"Why is that important?"
"I want to know"
"Okay. We were together almost two months, and he cheated on me. There"
"He cheated on you?"
"Yes"
"Why would he do that?"
"Ask him" I say, Daniel laughs,
"He's probably regretting it now" he says,
"I bet" I say, smiling, though in truth I think he forgot all about me.