"Call him again!" I cried out as I paced the room. "Try to relax, Julia. Freaking out will make it worse." Sam said as he brought his phone to his ear.
It's been a couple hours since the sun had risen, and a long time since Colby said he would be back.
Of course I was losing my shit.
"You have to go find him, Sam. I can't do this without him." I said and shook my hands out, tears pricking my eyes.
"His phone is off." Sam said with a sigh. "Babe, you should go find him." Kat said as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug.
"Not right now. If someone got him, then they are after Julia and I'm not leaving you guys unattended." Sam said as I clenched my jaw.
"You're just gonna let him die?!" I yelled with tears in my eyes. "Julia, relax." Sam said as the front door opened.
"Thank God." Sam said under his breath as Colby walked into the apartment.
I whimpered and ran to him, tightly wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm here, sweetheart." Colby whispered as he hugged me tightly.
"Where were you?!" I asked, pulling away slightly so I could smack him in the chest.
"One of the jobs I had ran a little late." He said as I shook my head and hugged him again, hiding my face in his neck.
"Maybe give us a call next time. Scared us to death." Sam said as Colby sighed. "My phone died, I'm an idiot and didn't charge it." He said and scratched my back gently.
"I thought you died." I mumbled as he rested his cheek on my head.
"I thought you would have been asleep..at least that's what I hoped for." He said quietly. "Nope, she's been up and pacing the room for hours. I was exhausted even looking at her." Kat said with a laugh.
"Well I'm here now." Colby said as I pulled away to look up at him. "I guess since you're back, we'll head to a hotel." Sam said as Colby shook his head.
"No need. Kat and Julia can sleep in the bed, you get the couch." Colby said as I scrunched my brow.
"Where are you gonna sleep?" I asked as he chuckled and brushed my hair behind my ear. "I'll take the floor." He said as I frowned.
"We really can just go to a hotel." Sam said as Colby shook his head.
"No, I need to talk to you about some stuff before going to sleep, and I know Kat and Julia are tired." Colby said as Kat nodded.
"Say less." Kat said then turned to Sam. "Goodnight." She said then kissed him before turning to go the bedroom.
"Go on, Jules. Get some rest." Colby said gently as I shook my head. "Why are acting like this?" I asked as he sighed and brushed his fingers along my cheek.
"Acting like what?" He hummed. "It feels like you're pulling away from me again..are you leaving me?" I whispered as Sam shifted awkwardly.
"I'll go check on Kat." He said then went into the bedroom and closed the door.
"Im not leaving you, sweetheart. I just have a lot to work through and need Sam's help with it." He said calmly.
"I wish more than anything I could be here all day every day with you but that can't happen right now." He said then kissed my forehead.
"When I wake up will you be gone again?" I asked as he nodded. "Yeah, and I'm sorry for that." He said gently.
I wanted to cry and scream and tell him how unfair it was for him to do that to me, but he was right.
I had taken him away from his work for way too long. He needed to get back to it even if it was dangerous.
"You look so tired, please just get some rest for me." Colby said as I nodded. "I love you." I said, causing him to smile slightly.
"I love you too, Julia." He said then kissed me. "Get some rest. I'll see you when I get home again." He said as I nodded and went to go towards the bedroom.
It sucked that he was going to be away and working and that my anxiety would be through the roof but I had to trust that he was okay.
I had to hope that he would tell Sam his plan and that Sam would tell me.
"Sorry, Sam." I said as I walked into the bedroom. "It's fine, just didn't want to intrude on such a vulnerable moment." He said with a reassuring smile.
"We're fine..I just..I don't like that this is how it is." I said as he put his hand on my shoulder.
"Don't worry, Jules. I'll make sure he isn't doing anything stupid." He said and left the room as I nodded then turned towards Kat.
"Come here, roomie." Kat said and patted the bed next to her. I sighed then went to lay in bed with her. "Sorry I'm not Colby." She said as we got comfortable.
"It's okay, I'm just worried about him." I said and stared at the ceiling.
"He's got this under control. There's nothing he won't do to keep you safe and keep himself safe to be with you." She said as I nodded.
I wanted to believe her and everyone else who was saying the same thing.
Colby clearly knew how to do his job because he's been alive and in this business longer than I've known him.
I just knew he got sloppy when it came to me. Everything he was doing was charged with the fear of someone getting to me or hurting me.
I was his weakness and he knew it along with everyone else in the crime world.
He could get hurt or killed and I wouldn't get to say goodbye.
Kat and I ended up talking for a little while before we both fell asleep.
When I woke up I immediately got out of bed and went towards the living room, hoping Colby would still be here.
"He left a couple hours ago." Sam said causing me to sigh. "What's he doing?" I asked as he shrugged.
"Don't do that, Sam. I know you know." I said and sat next to him.
"I really don't. He was asking for advice but never told me what he decided to do." Sam said as I frowned.
"What were the ideas?" I asked and pulled my legs to my chest. "It's not my place to tell you, Jules. He doesn't want you to worry." Sam said then grabbed his phone.
"Should I be worried?" I asked as he shook his head. "No. He's got a lot under control right now. Since you're staying home and away from all of it, he can play up that you aren't a part of this." He explained.
"It's not long term because someone will probably be out to look for you, but if he does what I told him to do that problem should go away." He said as I groaned.
"Why can't you tell me?" I asked causing him to laugh.
"I could, but I'm kinda scared of Colby. Plus, I don't know if he's gonna go through with anything. I don't want to put ideas in your head." He said then handed me his phone.
"Breakfast on Colby. Get whatever you want." He said as I looked at the food delivery app in front of me.
"Did he give you permission to do that?" I asked and took the phone. "No, but he's got more money than God. He won't notice." He said as Kat came stumbling into the room.
"Goodmorning, beautiful." Sam said as she came over to sit on his lap.
"Are we doing anything fun today?" Kat asked as she rubbed her eyes groggily.
"Right now we are getting breakfast thanks to Colby's credit card. Then, it's gonna be a bit of a boring day." Sam said causing Kat to huff out a breath.
"We can paint." I suggested. "Oooo, that could be fun." Kat said with a smile. "I'm sorry you're trapped in here with me." I said and handed her Sam's phone.
"No! It's fine. I miss you, I just wish we could explore the town a little bit. You don't get to leave this dumb apartment and I feel so bad for you." She said as I shrugged.
"I've learned that the world is a scary place and sometimes hiding is the best solution." I said quietly.
I know that I've made some big steps forward with my recovery but I was still terrified of the world around me.
I was completely okay with staying in this apartment. It was sometimes suffocating and terrible but having sam and Kat stay here with me was helpful.
I just wished that Colby would be safe and stay here with us, too.