"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called." I said quietly and found myself starting to hang up.
"Wait! No, it's great to hear from you." He said as my eyes watered.
"Yeah...I uh..I just had a question for you." I said and looked at the knife in my other hand.
"What's up?" He asked as I frowned. "Why is Colby stalking me?" I asked quietly.
"He's what?" Sam asked with confusion. "He showed up at the bar I was at and was going to kill my date." I said and closed my eyes.
"He's not stalking you, Jules. He doesn't even like to talk about you because he hates what he did to you." Sam said as I frowned.
"That's not true. He didn't care that he broke my heart. If he did then he wouldn't do it." I said and looked set the knife down so I could scrub my face with my hand.
"He cared more than you would think." He said with a sigh. "I really don't think he's stalking you though." Sam said with a small laugh.
"What did he say to you?" He asked. "He said the guy I was with is dangerous, but he's a cop. Shouldn't Colby be avoiding cops?" I asked and picked at the blanket on my lap.
"He should be. I don't really know what he does anymore though." He said causing my face to scrunched with confusion.
"He's not in LA with you?" I asked as he sighed. "No, he left when you did. He got a better opportunity somewhere else." Sam said as I nodded.
"So you don't really talk to him?" I asked. "I talk to him all the time, but he's still secretive about his projects." He said as I sighed.
"I can ask him what he's up to." He said quietly. "Thanks. I'm sorry to bother you..I just got really freaked out seeing him." I said as he breathed a laugh.
"Yeah, I'm sure he feels a certain way about seeing you too." He said as I closed my eyes. "He's a fucking dick. I hope he leaves me alone." I grumbled.
"Do you miss him?" Sam asked as my eyes watered again. "I don't know." I said, feeling my heart sink.
I missed how Colby made me feel. I didn't miss him though.
What he did to me hurt more than anything else I have been through.
Finding out who my father was felt like nothing compared to what I felt after I read that note.
Thinking about it now made me want to find a drug to take so I could hide from the emotions.
"It's okay to be mad at him. He really does love you though." Sam said as I shook my head.
"Did." I corrected. "He's changed so much, I think if you see him again you should knee him in the balls." He said causing me to laugh.
"I just might. Sorry for never reaching out to you before this." I said with a frown.
"Don't worry about it, Jules. I know how hard this has been. You're always welcome here. The girls miss you." Sam said as I nodded.
"Tell them I said hi. I can't get-" I started but was interrupted by screaming coming from upstairs.
"I have to go." I said then hung up, quickly grabbing my knife and running upstairs.
I followed the screams to Juniper's room and burst through the door.
Juniper was sitting up in her bed, screaming and crying as she looked at me.
"Hey! What's going on?" I asked and rushed over to her. "Sissy!" She cried out as I hugged her.
"I'm here, love. What's going on?" I asked as Stacie came into the room.
"Is she okay?" She asked as I frowned. "I don't know." I said and looked down at my weeping sister.
"Did you have a scary dream, love?" I asked and hugged her tightly.
Juniper just nodded and hid her face in my chest. "Okay, honey. Why don't you come sit downstairs with me? I can make you some cocoa, would you like that?" I asked as she nodded.
"Okay." I said then looked up at Stacie. "She'll be okay. Thanks." I said with a small smile, lifting Juniper up.
I grabbed the knife and slid it in my waistband so it wouldn't hurt me or Juniper.
"Glad you're okay, kiddo." Stacie said as Juniper hid her face in my neck.
"Goodnight, Stace." I said as she waved. "Night." She said then left.
"Let's go, love bug." I said and carried Juniper downstairs.
"Sissy, I'm scared." Juniper said as I nodded. "I know. We're gonna snuggle and it'll help." I said and brought her to the kitchen.
"Wanna talk about your dream?" I asked and grabbed the milk and hot cocoa mix.
"Scary monster." She said and rubbed her eye with her fist.
"What did the scary monster do?" I asked and started heating up the milk. "Ate you." She asked as I gasped slightly.
"Ate me?!" I asked with fake shock, trying to make it silly for her.
"Yeah." She said simply. "Well, it was just a dream because I'm right here making cocoa with you." I said and bounced her on my hip.
"I don't like it." She said as I sighed. "Dreams can be very scary but they aren't real." I said and sat her on the counter.
"Okay, sissy." Juniper said then sniffled.
I made her hot chocolate then brought her to the living room with me.
"We gotta be careful to not spill." I said and held her on my lap, holding her mug of cocoa.
"I'll be careful." Juniper said quietly then sipped the drink.
I ended up holding her on my lap, letting her sip on the small glass of hot chocolate.
When she finished I cuddled her, rocking her gently until she fell asleep again.
Once she was asleep I felt tears stinging my eyes. I couldn't stop thinking about how tonight went and how my life has somehow gotten worse.
I didn't think it could get any more fucked up or jumbled but here we were.
I was once again feeling out of control and like I didn't know what was going on.
Colby was somehow back in my life, even if it was only for a night.
I had a problem with addiction.
Sure, it was usually in pill form but I was also addicted to the way he made me feel.
Just like the pill addiction though, it was dangerous to fall into old habits.
It was dangerous to even think of the man I once loved.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, sending a chill down my spine.
It was now well passed midnight at this point. Nobody should have been here.
I stood up, then gently laid Juniper on the couch. I then grabbed my knife and slowly made my way towards the front door.
When I opened it, I saw Mike standing there. "Mike, what are you doing here?" I asked and stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind me.
"I was real worried about you..since you left so suddenly." He said as I frowned.
"Yeah, sorry. I'm okay though. You shouldn't be here." I said and crossed my arms. "Are you upset?" He asked as I shrugged.
"A little bit. I understand your concern but showing up at my house after midnight isn't cool." I said and looked around.
"Sorry, I just didn't think it would be a big deal." He said as I nodded. "Yeah, well it is." I said quietly.
"Wow. Okay." Mike said and took a step back. "I know it was well intended but it doesn't work for me." I said as he narrowed his eyes slightly.
"Are you pushing me away because of that guy at the bar?" He asked as I shook my head.
"No! I'm pushing you away because it's inappropriate to show up at my house this late!" I hissed as anger filled his features.
I flinched back at his aggression. It was the first time I've seen him like this and I didn't like it.
I think he could sense my fear because he softened, but I wasn't going to take it.
"Get out." I said and clenched my jaw. "Jules, what has gotten into you?" Mike asked with shock.
"Go. I'll call you when I'm ready." I said then turned and went into the house.
I heard him mumble something under his breath but I just didn't care.
I wasn't going to let any man walk all over me or try to scare me.
I learned that men don't get to control me. I was strong and could fend for myself.
It was completely inappropriate and borderline creepy that Mike showed up this late and I wasn't going to stand for it.
I was strong and didn't need anyone to save me.
I didn't need Colby.