I sat in the balcony while Colby went to shower. I ended up smoking another cigarette just to keep my hands occupied so I wouldn't pick at my nails more.
I knew it wasn't good for me, but a couple wouldn't kill me.
"Ready?" Colby asked as he poked his head out. "Yeah." I said then stood up. "What's exactly the plan? Are we just staking out?" Colby asked as I laughed.
"I know you're used to stalking people but we're just gonna see if they're outside." I said as he grabbed his keys.
"You realize that's the exact definition of stalking right?" Colby asked as I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever." I grumbled and followed him out of the apartment.
"So are you like...legally not allowed to see them?" Colby asked as I clenched my jaw. "I don't want to talk about this right now." I said as he nodded.
"So, yes." He said as I punched his arm as hard as I could.
"Jesus, what was that for?!" He asked as I clenched my jaw, keeping my eyes forward as we got in the elevator.
"I can just not take you." Colby said and crossed his arms. "Give me the keys. I'll take myself." I said as he chuckled.
"Nice try." He said as the doors opened.
When we got to the car, we got in. "Do you remember where it is?" I asked and buckled my seatbelt.
"Yeah, I remember." He said and started driving. It was a good twenty or thirty minute drive but luckily we were silent for most of it.
"I'm sorry she took them." Colby said out of nowhere. "It happens." I mumbled. "No, it shouldn't. Why didn't you try to get to get custody?" He asked as I snapped my head to look at him.
"Fuck off." I snapped as his brows raised with surprise. "You've really gotten an attitude." He said as I nodded.
"Yeah. Learned from the best." I said and looked out the window.
When we got to the house I felt my heart shatter. Jenna was sitting on the stairs, crying into her hands.
Even from this distance I could see a red mark on her forearm. It took literally everything in me to not get out of the car and run to her.
"Your mom's a bitch." Colby said as I nodded. "Tell me about it." I mumbled and watched as the bitch herself came onto the porch.
She crouched down and put her hand on Jenna's back. "Don't fucking touch her." I mumbled, watching my mom pull the fake sweet act she was so good at.
If Jenna was inside she would have dragged her up the stairs but since people could see her she was pretending to be a good mom.
It made me fucking sick.
"Now what?" Colby asked as my mom led Jenna back inside.
"Just wait." I said quietly, watching the house with so much intensity my eyes were drying out.
"I don't think they're coming out, Jules." Colby said as I clenched my jaw. "Just wait!" I snapped and watched the house carefully.
I stared for a couple minutes before I felt myself deflate.
I was about to tell Colby that we could go but before I could a car was pulling up in front of the house.
I scrunched my brow with confusion then watched as Adam got out of the car. He was wearing the cop uniform that he stole from the man he killed.
"What's he doing here?" I asked as Colby quickly buckled his seatbelt.
"We can't leave them!" I cried out and reached for my door handle. "Julia, we have to go. They aren't in danger. If he sees us then we are." Colby said and and put the car in drive.
"He's a murderer, Colby!!" I screamed and pulled at the door that he child locked. "Maybe he'll murder your mom. We could only hope." He said as I started crying.
"We can't leave them!" I sobbed. "They're gonna be okay, Julia. We have to go." Colby said and sped down the road, pushing something on the screen that was on the center console.
"Hello?" A man answered. "Will. Adam has been sighted. I'm coming to base, get ready." He said as my heart raced.
"Okay, boss. How long until you're here?" Will asked as I looked at Colby in a panic.
"Fifteen minutes." Colby said as he sped down the road.
Part of me was worried that he would get pulled over but he didn't seem too concerned.
"We'll be here." Will said then hung up. "Why can't he meet you here?! We can't just let them get murdered, Colby!" I said with so much dispair that even I found myself pathetic.
"Because you're with me. He can't know we're together." Colby said as I shook my head.
"Cats out of the bag, dumbass!! You rescued me from him and I'm not in Spokane. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to figure out where I am!" I yelled as he groaned.
"Just trust me, Julia! Can't you just fucking trust me?!" He asked as I shook my head.
"I can't." I said as he sighed. "Well I'm not giving you any other option. Now shut the fuck up so I can focus." He said and weaved through traffic with perfection.
It was actually impressive how seamless he made driving recklessly look. I didn't once feel like we were going to crash and die.
When we got to base Colby quickly changed his license plate then opened my door.
"Come on, Julia. Get out of the car." He said as I shook my head. "I'm coming with." I said as he groaned.
"Every minute you sit here being stubborn is a minute that Adam is able to either get away or hurt your siblings." He snapped.
He had a point.
I knew that I was stubborn but I also knew that Colby was twice as stubborn.
I got out of the car then gestured for him to lead the way.
When we got downstairs he led me to a room with a long table and a bunch of chairs.
"Just sit in here. Don't talk to anyone. I'll be back to get you in a little bit." Colby said then turned to leave the room again.
"Wait! Do you have anything I can do? Like literally anything." I said as he sigh. "Wait here." He said then left.
I huffed out a breath then sat down at the table, tapping my fingers on it as I looked around the room.
I prayed that Colby would be able to find me something to do because I couldn't sit in this room without going crazy.
After a couple minutes Colby was coming back with two books.
One was the poetry book I always used to read, and the other was a coloring book Colby got for me years ago.
"You still have these?" I asked as he nodded. "Yeah." He said then turned to leave. "Please don't try to pull anything while I'm gone." He begged.
"I won't. Just protect them." I said as he nodded. "They'll be fine." He assured then left the room.
I frowned and looked at the books in my hands. There were so many forgotten memories tied to each of these books.
I was surprised Colby still had them.
I opened the coloring book, seeing things my past self colored. On one of the pages I wrote in the corner 'I love you' scribbled in blue crayon.
I remembered it was one day when I was sitting in Colby's office with him. He was working and was super stressed.
I wrote it and got his attention, showing him. I remembered how big his smile was when he read it.
My heart ached at the memory.
Most of my time with Colby was stressful. It was the little moments like that, that made it worth something.
I remembered when he would work late and come home. I would try to stay awake for him but would fall asleep.
I would wake up to him pulling me close and kissing my head.
Our love felt so real. It felt stable and although it was dangerous, it was like a flame you didn't mind burning yourself on.
It all came crashing down so fast, though. I would never forget the night I got the letter from Colby.
I screamed and sobbed in Sam's arms, begging for the pain to stop. I prayed to every God for it to be a joke.
I wanted him to walk into the room and pull me into his arms, telling me it was a dumb mistake.
It never happened though.
It took years for my heart to heal, but I always wished he would come back to save me from the life I was in.
Then the resentment hit.
I hated Colby for doing what he did. I went from praying that he would save me, to never wanting to see his face again.
The pain he brought me and my siblings wasn't worth the little moments and sweet gestures. He broke me more than I thought was possible.
But now here I was, sitting alone in his base with a coloring book that was four years old. A coloring book with more memories than I could count.
A coloring book that I thought would be thrown away like I was.