Colby's POV
It broke my heart how badly Julia wanted to be consumed in some normalcy.
She has always had a hard life and there was nothing I wanted more than to give her the life she deserved.
I wanted her to be away from all of the violence and crime but I couldn't run away from this life just yet.
It wasn't going to be as easy as I wanted it to be.
There was no stepping down when it came to this life. It was either kill or be killed and the only way to step down was be taken out.
As much as I wanted to run away with Julia, it just wasn't possible. I would have to be killed since I've been in charge for so long.
When I killed Quill, I had the option to step up or assign someone to take over secret society.
Now that I have been in charge for a while there were secrets I knew that I couldn't know if I wasn't in this gang.
Julia didn't understand that.
She didn't know how badly I wanted to whisk her away and make a family with her. It just wasn't possible right now.
I don't know if it ever would be.
"What would you like to eat?" I asked as I drove down the road. "I don't care." Julia said as I sighed and kissed her hand.
"I know you're upset. It's okay to be upset." I said quietly. "I'm not upset. Just tired and indecisive." She said with a sigh.
"How about....sushi." I said as we passed a Japanese place. "No..I think I want to cook something." She said and looked over at me.
"Yeah?" I asked with a grin. "Yeah." She said as I nodded. "What would you like to cook?" I asked and started driving to the grocery store.
"I don't know. I want to be inspired." She said as I nodded. "Okay then." I said then pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store.
I wasn't exactly thrilled about having Julia out in public, but if this made her happy I was willing to do it.
"Are you in the mood for anything?" Julia asked as we got out of the car.
"You." I said and took her hand. "Ha." She said as we made our way towards the store.
"Whatever you want to make, I'll eat." I said and took her hand. "So there's nothing you don't like?" She asked and looked up at me.
"Not a huge fan of tacos." I said with a chuckle. I knew Julia had a general destain for tacos since the past two times she had them in her possession she was kidnapped.
The first time it was because Jake and Corey were idiots and the second time was when she was given her addiction.
I didn't tell her enough about how proud of her I was for clawing her way out of that addiction.
She still struggled with it though and it broke my heart that she fell into the void of it when I left her.
Julia didn't deserve that.
"Fuck tacos." Julia grumbled as she grabbed a shopping basket. "Here." I said and took it from her.
"Such a gentleman." She said with a small giggle that made my stomach flutter.
It never failed to amaze me how any little thing Julia did could send me to my knees.
"Where to first?" I asked as she shrugged. "I haven't been to a real grocery store in so long." She said quietly.
"What do you mean by a real grocery store?" I asked as we slowly made our way towards the produce section.
"We went to Walmart that one time...which seems like forever ago." Julia said with a sigh. "Yeah, I really didn't expect this to take so long. Clearly I'm shitting the bed when it comes to this." I said then looked over at her.
"I promise I'm not as bad at my job that it seems that I am." I said causing her to look up at me.
"I make it harder. Sorry." She said as I shook my head. "No. Don't say shit like that, Jules." I said and stopped walking.
"You make it worth the fight. You give me a reason to come home at night and you give me a reason to not get killed." I said and faced her.
"One day, things will be normal. I promise." I said then kissed her forehead.
Julia nodded and closed her eyes, turning towards the vegetables so she could pick something out.
I could tell she was holding in her feelings and that she wanted to say something but I didn't want to pry.
Part of me knew that she was feeling guilty for everything that was happening but that was so far from the truth.
Violence would surround me whether she was in my life or not.
"I think I want to make soup." Julia said and picked up a potato. "Potato soup?" I asked as she nodded.
"With bacon and cheese. I don't know how to make it but that's part of the adventure, right?" She asked and put some potatoes in the basket I was carrying.
"If soup is an adventure for you, then yeah." I said with a laugh. "Doing literally anything is an adventure for me at this point." She said then started walking again.
We spent the next hour or so grabbing ingredients to make a soup that neither of us had any clue how to make.
I offered to google a recipe but Julia didn't want me to. She wanted to figure it out in her own because it would keep her mind sharp if she did it herself.
It was absolutely adorable.
"Want me to help you or do you want to do this alone?" I asked and helped Julia unload the groceries.
"I want to do it by myself." She said with a smile. "Okay then. I'll be over here if you need me." I said then kissed her cheek and went into the living room.
I decided to try and get some work done so that I could possibly free up a couple days to take Julia somewhere.
I knew it was probably dangerous to do that but keeping her locked up in my apartment wasn't good for her.
"Ugh." I heard Julia groan after a little while of silence. "You okay?" I asked and looked over at her.
"This isn't working." She mumbled as I stood up, taking my glasses off. "What's not?" I asked and walked up to her.
"This." She said and pointed to the pot in front of her. Inside of it was a sticky mess of potatoes and cheese.
"Looks good to me." I lied, trying to make her feel a little bit better. "It needs milk or something." She mumbled then turned towards the groceries.
"Yeah, I think that will help." I said with false confidence. I didn't know much about cooking so I definitely didn't want to put my opinion on what to do out there.
"We should just order something." She said with a sigh as she added some cream to the mixture in the pot.
"No, you can do this Jules. Keep your mind sharp." I said as she sighed and put her hands on her face, covering it.
"Hey." I said and pulled her hands away from her face.
"I know you're not about to give up." I said and raised my brows at her. "No. Just frustrated." She said as I nodded.
"I get that. You'll figure it all out though, darling. I believe in you." I said then gave her a gentle kiss.
Once I pulled away I turned her around and smacked her ass. "You got this." I said as she laughed.
"When it's bad I don't want to hear about it." She said as I kissed her head.
"You won't hear anything from me." I said then went back to the living room so I could finish up my work.
We worked in silence for a while before Julia came and sat next to me with a bowl of soup in her hands.
"It's done?" I asked as she nodded. "I tried my best." She said and handed it to me. "It smells good." I said then grabbed the bowl of soup and took a bite.
"That's really fucking good." I said and looked up at Julia.
She had a hopeful look in her eyes, her face lighting up with joy at those words.
"Really?" She asked as I nodded. "Try it." I said then grabbed a spoonful and brought it to her lips.
"I tried it before I gave it to you." She said with a laugh but took a bite anyways.
"I think it's the best soup I've ever had." I said as she scoffed. "You're dramatic." She said then leaned back into the couch.
"No, I'm serious. It's made with love and hint of frustration. I love it." I said then took another bite.
"I love you." Julia said quietly, looking over at me. "I love you, too." I said then leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss.
It was moments like these that I craved with Julia. Normal moments that normal couples got to experience.
There was no fear or anxiety. The looming bit of pressure that's been surrounding us lately was gone.
We were just two people who were madly in love.
These were the moments I craved.