"So spill the tea. Are you guys back together?" Stas asked and gestured to Colby.
He was standing next to me, talking to one of the scary men that were roaming around.
He wasn't looking at me or paying attention to what I was talking about, his arm was securely around my waist.
"You could say that." I said with a small smile. "You're totally smitten!" Kat said with a laugh.
"How did you forgive him? I know I wouldn't have." Tara said as I sighed.
"It took a long time. I know he did it out of love though." I said as Colby squeezed my hip.
"We're gonna sit down to eat." He said as I nodded. "We'll talk to you guys in a little while." I said to the girls.
"See you later, Jules." Stas said and waved as Colby led the way to the dining area.
"How are you feeling?" Colby asked as we walked. "I feel okay." I said as he nodded, keeping his eyes forward.
Although his arm was constantly around me, while we were inside and surrounded by people he hardly looked at me.
It was probably to show that he didn't care about me as much as everyone thought.
It was a tactic to protect me.
When we got to the table, Colby pulled my chair out. "Thank you." I said quietly then sat down.
We were sitting at a table with a couple people from Colby's old gang, but our friends were all at a table with the rest of the gang.
I was fully aware of the nerves that were bundled in my chest. While I was talking to the girls I felt a lot more comfortable but now I was surrounded by people who could possibly hurt me.
The PTSD was eating me alive.
"How've you been?" A guy asked Colby as the servers brought over some salads. "I've been fine. You?" Colby asked as he put his hand on my thigh.
"Been busy. Miss having you around." The man said then looked at me. "Julia." He said causing Colby to stiffen slightly.
"Don't talk to her." Colby said with an authoritative tone.
"Sorry, man. Just wanted to say hi." The guy said and looked away. I looked down at my lap, feeling my stomach ache.
I didn't want to eat out of fear of throwing up since this event made me so nervous.
It was hard to wrap your head around the fact that I was surrounded by killers and criminals.
I guess technically I was one too.
The fact that my body count was almost up to ten made me feel even more sick.
I only ever killed people who were going to kill me but still.
I took life from some people and it didn't sit right with me.
We spent the next hour or so, sitting at dinner. I hardly touched any of my food, but neither did Colby.
He kept his hand on my leg the whole time, rubbing small circles with his thumb. It was nice to know that he was here and trying to comfort me.
Once dinner was done, we all went to go mingle again.
"You hardly ate." Colby said quietly as we walked around. "Neither did you." I commented, keeping my voice low.
"You okay?" He asked as I nodded. "How much longer do we have to stay?" I asked and looked up at him.
"Only a little while longer." He said then brushed his fingers along my jaw, gently tilting my face up. "Okay." I whispered as he grinned and took his hand from my face again.
"Hey, man. Any recent developments?" Corey asked as he came over to us. "Not really. This guy is pretty good at what he does." Colby said as he caressed my hip gently.
"He'll mess up at some point." Corey said as some commotion sounded behind us.
"What the fuck?" Colby mumbled as the shouting commenced. "You don't know shit!" A man yelled as Colby clenched his jaw and took a step in front of me, covering me in case something went down.
"Watch yourself." Another guy said lowly as he pulled out a gun. I gasped, feeling my heart start to race with anxiety.
I felt like I was being brought back to the moment that my father tried to shoot Colby but shot me instead.
I tried to catch my breath as my heart raced. So much anxiety was coursing through my veins that I was afraid I would stop breathing all together.
It wasn't until the sound of a gun went off that the tears trickled down my cheeks.
Colby turned around quickly, then took my hand, leading me through the crowd and away from whatever was happening. It wasn't until we were outside that he turned to me.
"Are y- oh." Colby said as I hyperventilated, hot tears trickling down my cheeks. "Hey...you're okay." He said and pulled me into a tight hug.
"I know..." He hummed as I tried desperately to calm myself down.
I knew it was ridiculous to be freaking out so much over something that didn't happen to me first hand but I couldn't help it.
I cried into his chest for a couple minutes before I pulled away. "Are you okay?" Colby asked gently as he wiped my tears with his thumbs. "Yeah, sorry." I said as he shook his head.
"No, darling. Don't apologize." He said quietly. "Can we go now?" I asked and looked up at him with pleading eyes.
"Yeah. We can go, we just have to find Sam and tell him." Colby said as I nodded.
I didn't really want to go back inside but I wanted to make sure our friends were okay.
When we went back inside, Colby held my hand tightly, rubbing his thumb along my hand gently in an attempt to keep me calm.
I tried to avoid looking around since I didn't want to see any blood or any dead bodies.
It didn't matter how many I have seen in the past, and how many I initiated, it still didn't feel right.
"Hey, man. We're gonna head out." Colby said as we got to Sam. I kept my eyes down, since I knew it looked like I had been crying.
"Understandable. I'll call you later." Sam said then took a step closer to me.
"I'm proud of you for coming tonight." He said and gave me a hug. "I know it was hard for you, I'm sorry there was violence." He said as my eyes stung with tears. "Thank you." I whispered and hugged him back.
"I'll see you later." He said and pulled away from me. "Bye, Sam." I said then took Colby's hand again. "Bye, man." Colby said then turned to lead the way out of the house.
I was proud of Colby and I for making it through the banquet without being involved in the violence.
It was the first event we have been to where neither of us were covered in blood.
When we got to the car, I let out a sigh of relief, settling into the seat. It was surreal having to be around so many criminals at one time, especially when I was being sought after by so many of them.
"You doing okay?" Colby asked as he got in the car, reaching over to take my hand. "Yeah." I said quietly and looked over at him.
"I'm sorry that you got scared." He said causing me to laugh. "It's not your fault, babe." I said as he grinned.
"I like when you call me that." He hummed then started the car. "You're mushy." I said as he laughed.
"I just had to be so aggressive and had to not look at you for hours, it's time to mush it up." He said then started driving. "I'm just glad we aren't covered in blood right now." I said and looked over at him.
"Yeah, I'm pretty proud of us." He said with a grin. "Maybe we're on the upward swing of being a couple in the crime world." I said with a sigh.
"I wish. It's just hard because I've fucked up so much." Colby said quietly.
"You're doing your best. That's all I can ask for." I said then looked out the window. We drove for a little while before we were pulling into a McDonalds drive thru.
"Mcdonalds?" I asked as he nodded. "I'm starving." He said with a laugh. "Same." I said and put my hand on my stomach. "I knew you would be." He said then pulled up to the speaker.
He ordered our food then parked the car in a parking spot.
"It's kinda silly to be eating this while wearing such formal attire." I said and unwrapped my burger. "I think it's kinda fun." He said then took a bite of his burger.
"It's fucking good either way." I groaned, after taking a big bite of the sandwich in my hands.
"Saving some for later?" Colby asked with a laugh, bringing his thumb to the corner of my mouth where some ketchup was left behind.
"Yeah, actually." I said with a laugh as he grinned. "Okay, then here." He said and put the ketchup on my nose, causing me to giggle. "Stopppp." I said and leaned my head back against the seat.
He looked over at me with shining eyes as he chuckled. I couldn't help but admire how beautiful his smile was.
The way his eyes crinkled, revealing the most beautiful dimples on his cheeks.
It wasn't often that Colby smiled this big but when he did, I could feel my heart stop.
It felt like my whole world was behind those big blue eyes. Those eyes made me feel truly safe, especially after everything that went down tonight.
I didn't expect our scary night to end in a McDonalds parking lot, while eating the greasiest fast food and wearing our nicest attire.
But I was glad that's how it went.