Colby and I spent the next couple days in LA. Most of our time was spent at Sam's house with everyone.
It was so nice to be able to escape for a week.
Sure, there were moments of fear and we had to limit our time out in public but it was good that neither of us got seriously injured on our trip.
Right now we were on our way to Seattle which was a somber event.
Neither of us really wanted to go back to Washington but it had to happen.
"Are you okay?" Colby asked as I nodded and looked out the window. "Yeah." I said quietly. "I wish it could be different." He said and took my hand, pulling it into his lap.
"It's not your fault." I said and looked over at him. "It kinda is, but okay." He said with a laugh.
"What if I can make it up to you though?" He asked as my eyebrows scrunched with confusion.
"What do you mean?" I asked as he grinned. "Hm..you'll see." He said then focused on the road. I've learned after a while to just not question Colby.
He loved to surprise me even though I hated surprises. I just found them to be more anxiety ridden than exciting.
We drove for a while before Colby pulled off of the highway. I was curious to see what his plan was but didn't want to ask him what it was.
After a while, Colby pulled into the parking lot of what looked like a beach.
"Are we going to the beach?" I asked as he shrugged. "I don't know." He said then got out of the car.
I laughed then watched as he jogged around the car so he could open my door for me.
"Why thank you." I said with a laugh as he offered his hand to me. "You're welcome." He said then helped me out of the car.
The sun was setting which was beautiful but had me shivering.
"Here, darling." Colby said and handed me his leather jacket. "Thanks." I said with a small smile and took if from him, putting it on.
Once it was on, we made our way onto the actual beach.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked as we walked hand in hand down the sand. "I wanted you to have one normal night." He said causing me to look over at him.
"I wish it felt normal." I said quietly, looking at the horizon. "What part doesn't feel normal?" Colby asked, rubbing his thumb against my hand.
"The fact that there's always a chance that someone will attack us. Normal couples don't have to have weapons on them at every given moment." I said and looked straight ahead.
"Who said I had any weapons on me?" Colby asked, causing me to look over at him.
"You always do." I said as he shook his head. "Not right now I don't." He said then stopped and turned to me.
"Kat told me that you were sad about the fact that you always felt like I was working. Even when we go out, you think I'm only ever thinking about work." Colby said and brushed my hair behind my ear.
It was true that I told Kat that. It's been getting to be lately that we couldn't be normal. I knew there wasn't much Colby could do to help that but I was still sad about it.
"So...I thought we could just have a little walk on the beach. No weapons. No working. Just you and I." He said then caressed my cheek gently.
"I'd love that." I said with a smile and looked into his eyes. "Let's go then." He said then gave me a gentle kiss before taking my hand.
We walked along the empty beach, the sun setting around us.
"Is it safe?" I asked, looking over at Colby while we walked.
"Is what safe?" Colby asked quietly. "Being here without any protection?" I asked as he chuckled. "Why would we need protection?" He asked as I giggled.
"Right." I said with a sigh. "Don't worry about anything, sweetheart." He said then leaned over and kissed the side of my head.
"Okay." I said as he squeezed my hand. "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?" Colby asked, changing the subject.
"Oh...I don't know." I said and looked up at the sky. The stars were starting to peak through the dusty clouds in the violet skies.
The question lingered in the air since I really didn't know how to answer it.
My entire life was filled with making decisions for other people.
I was forced to live in Seattle because it's where my parents were and I couldn't afford to leave.
I was forced to stay in LA with Colby after he kidnapped me. I went to Spokane for the kids' sake.
It was hard enough taking them from everything they've ever known. Taking them any further would have been harder.
I've never put into thought where I would want to end up for myself though.
After everything I've been through, I wanted to be somewhere quiet and secluded.
"Maybe living on a farm..or in the mountains." I said causing him to laugh. "Really?" He asked as I nodded.
"Yeah. Somewhere that we could be happy and alone." I said and looked over at him. "So, I'm included in this plan?" He asked as I nodded.
"Of course you are." I said as he grinned and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around his waist.
"Good." He said then kissed me. I smiled against his lips, lacing my fingers through his hair.
There was something so euphoric about the situation we were in right now.
It actually felt like we were a normal couple with nobody after us.
Part of me thought that we were being watched and that someone could spring on us at any moment.
I hated that even when given the opportunity to feel safe, I just didn't.
It made me worried about the future. I just couldn't see a world where I could live with Colby and feel completely safe at the same time.
Not to mention if I were to try and get my siblings in my custody again.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I brought them into the crime world with me.
"Thank you for taking me here." I said to Colby as we walked back to the car. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I wish we could do it more often." He said with a sigh.
"It's okay. I think it's sweet that you wanted to do this in the first place." I said as we got in the car.
"I love you." He said as I grinned. "I hope you aren't going too soft on me." I said as he started the car.
"Never." He said then put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it roughly. "I love you too then." I said and looked out the window.
The rest of the drive to Seattle was a little tough because I was starting to have a couple of seizures.
"I'm gonna try and get you medication tonight." Colby said as I trembled, trying to get over the seizure I just had.
"It's okay." I said then sniffled. "No, it's not." He said and focused on the road.
The closer we got to the Seattle the more dread filled my chest. I didn't want to get back into the rhythm of hiding.
I didn't want to be trapped in Colby's apartment, or in his office.
I didn't want to be bored for weeks at a time.
Colby was also radiating stress the closer we got. I think this trip was just as much of an escape for him as it was for me.
There was no telling how bad things could get here.
When we got back to Seattle, Colby stopped at the pharmacy and got my meds.
It took some convincing for them to refill the prescription before the date allowed but Colby had a way of making people do what he wanted.
After we got the prescription we grabbed some food and made our way to his apartment.
"Home sweet home." Colby mumbled as we walked through the door.
"I guess." I said quietly then went to sit on the couch. "I'm gonna start working even harder to get this under control. I'll have him dead then we can start a more normal life." Colby said and sat next to me.
"I don't want you working on this too fast, that's when things get messy." I said and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I'll be safe but efficient. It's time to put this to rest." He said then wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"I'll miss you." I said quietly as he kissed my head. "I'll be home every night. No matter what." He said then leaned forward to unwrap the food we had gotten.
Tonight felt like the last night we would feel truly at peace. It was hard to get back to the stress after a week of mostly carefree time.
It was just a part of life though.