Chapter 8: 8: Chapter 8

LEAH

This morning when I was getting ready, I couldn’t find my brush. It’s like I’m going crazy. I don’t remember where I’ve put it, and it drives me crazy to have to look for my stuff all the time. Could it be the handmaid cleaning our room? Could she have moved my brush and even maybe taken my earrings?

It has been a few days since John has been replaced by Zeke, and I felt both relief at not having his grumpy attitude around me but also as if something was missing. I’ve gotten so used to having John by me every day that it suddenly felt empty when he was gone.

I am sitting outside in the castle garden after I’ve had my breakfast, enjoying the fresh air.

“How does it feel to be with your mate? Does it feel good not to have to babysit me anymore?” I say teasingly as I turn to Zeke.

Zeke gives me a big smile; his complexion has a whole new glow now that he’s met his mate. “It’s wonderful, but you know that yourself too. I’m back as a general of the army, which is okay. I’ve always liked it. A little more action than babysitting the queen.” Zeke laughs when I slap him on his arm.

“Watch yourself!” I say jokingly. “I can make Ares put you on babysitting duties at any time.” I wink at him, and he just laughs.

“Do you know who cleans my and Ares’s room?” I continue.

“No idea,” Zeke replies, shrugging his shoulders.

“Can you check it out? My hairbrush is gone, as well as my pearl earrings given to me by my mother. I can’t find them anywhere, and I think they might have disappeared when the room was cleaned?”

Zeke raises an eyebrow and gives me a puzzled look. “Okay, I’ll look into it. If we have servants stealing things, we have a problem.”

“Thank you,” I smile at him as I put my hand on his and squeeze it. “It’s good to hang out with you again.”

“I feel the same, Your Majesty, always glad to hang with you. But I must ask…” Zeke twists from where he sits.

“What?” I raise an eyebrow as I look at him.

“Did something happen with John? Why don’t you want him as your guard anymore? I understand it’s not my place to ask, but I know John…he’s one of the best,” Zeke asks. “After me, of course,” he adds with a laugh.

I smile and bite my lip. “I know… But he’s been so grumpy lately. I have a feeling that he is constantly angry with me…” I look down at my lap as I fiddle with my fingernails. I don’t like the feeling that he’s angry with me, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong either.

“John is…different. He’s actually a soft teddy bear, as soon as you get inside his hard shell.”

“I know, and I thought that we had made progress lately! But with each passing day, he slips further and further away from me. It’s like he hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you, trust me,” Zeke says. I notice that his body language changes, and he shifts his body where he sits.

“Yeah, okay, we’ll see. Maybe he needs some time away from me to clear his thoughts. When he comes back, maybe he’ll be happier?” I try to reason.

“Yes, maybe. Remember that he has suffered a tremendous loss. When his mate died, a large part of himself died. You never really recover from such a trauma.”

JOHN

I understand why she chose to send me away; I don’t blame her. The king has put me on Zeke’s duties as the general of the army, and it was nice to be back again, even though it is not the same as being the queen's guard.

But despite the relief of my new tasks, I can’t bring myself to stay away. I stand in the castle garden with the trees as shelter as I am watching her. She is so beautiful, her laugh is echoing across the garden.

Her presence affects me in a way that is not acceptable. I’ve tried to suppress my feelings for her, but they are getting stronger for every day that passes. I hate myself for this. How can I be attracted to our queen; I know she has a mate, and my feelings will never be reciprocated. I clench my jaw when I see her laughing with Zeke.

From the first moment I was placed as one of her bodyguards, I have felt drawn to her. Since that day, I have sworn never to act on it or even show her how I really feel. She has a mate, and her mate is none other than our king! Why is the Moon Goddess punishing me in this way? Haven’t I suffered enough when she snatched my true mate from me?!

Leah’s hair is braided, and she is wearing jeans and a sweater. I’m ashamed of how I feel. If I could, I would erase these feelings from my body and mind. I don’t want to yearn for a woman who can never be mine. This must be my punishment for wrongdoings in a past life.

My wolf growls inside me as I watch Leah place her hand on Zeke’s. I can’t control him as well as I usually do when it comes to Leah. Her scent is intoxicating and affects me in a way that I have only felt once before, when I met my beloved Julia… The memory of my mate hurts still to this day. I never thought I would feel anything for another woman after she passed. Yet here I stand, longing for someone I can never have.

The braid is lying over Leah’s shoulder, her golden-brown hair glowing in the sunlight. I see her lips moving, but I can no longer hear what she is saying. I am hypnotized by how plump and red her lips are when she bites her lower lip. I’ve heard of second-chance mates, but that’s extremely rare. Could she be mine? It doesn’t matter. She can never be mine. I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me, she has her mate and I’ve sworn my allegiance to him. Therefore, I will never act on my feelings. I am stronger than that.

Suddenly, I am thrown out of my temporary mental turmoil when I hear a noise from the forest behind me. I turn my gaze away from Leah to look out over the trees but find nothing but leaves blowing in the wind. I look back at Leah and Zeke who now are getting up and walking back into the castle, laughing, and talking about something that I can’t hear. I see something in the periphery of my eye that catches my attention.

A petite handmaid with raven-black hair sneaks past the guards through the castle entrance seemingly unnoticed. I recognize her posture, but I can’t quite place it, so I choose to walk after her into the castle. Cautiously, I follow her at a reasonable distance. She heads down the stairs toward the basement, something that is highly unusual for the handmaids to go to. They don’t have any business down there. The queen's shelter is in that basement and nothing else.

I stand silently by the stairs as I listen for her steps echoing against the stone walls before soundlessly following. I hold my breath, knowing full well that a werewolf can hear the heartbeat of another if they are paying attention to their surroundings. My hope is that this handmaid is not listening, but that she is too busy with what she is going to do down here. When I only have a few steps left, I stop to listen. I control my breathing to be as quiet as possible. I don’t hear anything. It’s impossible—I should hear her moving around in the basement.

Carefully, I take a few steps down the stairs before leaning against the cold stone wall. I take the last steps down toward the room while scanning the area. It’s empty. How the hell can it be empty? I take the last step down and just as my feet touch the basement floor, I hear clothes rustling beside me. A sharp pain spreads across my head and the last thing I see is a familiar face smiling mockingly at me.