âOkay . . .â He looks over and begins staring at me, and I canât help but feel bad for him. Iâm shit at giving advice, and I donât know why I even tried.
I know what itâs like to grow up not having any friends. As a child, I never had a single one until I hit puberty and started drinking, smoking pot, and hanging out with shitty people. They werenât actually my friends, anywayâthey only liked me because I did whatever the fuck I wanted to do, and that was âcoolâ to them. They didnât enjoy reading the way that I did; they only enjoyed partying.
I was always that angry little boy in the corner whom no one talked to because they were afraid of me. To this day, that hasnât changed much, really . . .
But I met Tessa; sheâs the only person who genuinely gives a fuck about me. Sheâs afraid of me sometimes, too, though. Images from Christmas and red wine splattered across her white cardigan bring my thoughts to life. I suspect that Landon cares for me, too, I guess. But thatâs still a weird situation with him, and Iâm pretty sure he only cares because of Tessa. She tends to have that power over people.
Me, especially.
Chapter ninety-two
TESSA
Is your pizza good?â I ask Smith from across the table.
He looks up at me, mouth full, and nods his head yes. His small hands are holding a fork and knife to cut into his meal. This doesnât surprise me.
When his plate is clear, he stands from the table and walks his dishes to the dishwasher, placing them inside. âIâm going to retire for the night. Iâm ready for bed,â the little scientist announces.
Hardin shakes his head in amusement over the maturity of the kid.
I stand up and ask, âDo you need anything? Water, or to be walked to your room?â
But he declines and grabs his blanket from the couch before heading up to his bedroom.
I watch Smith disappear upstairs, then sit back down and realize that Hardin has spoken less than ten words to me in the last hour. Heâs kept his distance, and I canât help but find myself comparing his behavior tonight to the way he spoke during our phone calls this week. A small part of me wishes we were on the phone now instead of sitting silently on the couch.
âI have to piss,â he announces, then heads off as I surf through the channels on the flat-screen TV.
Moments later Kimberly and Christian come through the front door, followed by another couple. A tall blond woman dressed in a short gold dress saunters across the hardwood floor. I take one glance at her sky-high heels, and my ankles start to ache for her. She gives me a smile and a wave as she follows Kimberly through the foyer and into the living room. Hardin appears in the hallway but doesnât make a move to enter the room.
âSasha, this is Tessa and Hardin,â Kimberly kindly introduces us.
âItâs nice to meet you.â I smile, hating that I didnât put on better-looking pajamas.
âYou, too,â Sasha responds, but sheâs looking directly to Hardin, who looks back at her for a moment but doesnât otherwise greet her or come fully into the living room.
âSasha is a friend of Christianâs business partner,â Kimberly informs us.
Well, informs me, because Hardin isnât paying them any attention, having fixed his eyes on the wildlife program I ended up landing on.
âAnd this is Max, who does business with Christian.â
The man, who had been joking and laughing with Christian, steps around from behind Sasha, and when I finally get a look at him, Iâm surprised to see Kenâs friend from college, that girl Lillianâs father.
âMax,â I repeat, discreetly staring at Hardin and trying to draw his attention to the familiar face in front of us.
Catching on, Kimberly looks back and forth between Max and me. âYou two have met before?â
âOnly once, at Sand Point,â I respond.
Maxâs dark eyes are intimidating, and he has an overpowering presence that immediately claims the room as his, but his cold features do soften slightly at my reminder.
âAh, yes. Youâre Hardin Scottâs . . . friend,â he says, drawing the last word out with a smile.
âActually, sheâs . . .â Hardin starts, finally joining us in the living room.
I watch in annoyance as Sashaâs eyes follow Hardinâs every movement as he crosses the room. She adjusts the golden straps of her dress and licks her lips. I couldnât be more irritated with myself for wearing these damn cloud pants if I tried. Hardinâs eyes flicker to her, and I watch as they slowly rake down her body, taking in her tall yet curvy frame, before his attention turns to Max.
âSheâs not just a friend,â Hardin finishes just as Maxâs hand darts out for a quick and awkward handshake.
âI see.â The older man smiles. âWell, either way, sheâs a lovely girl.â
âShe is,â Hardin mutters. I can sense his annoyance at Maxâs presence.
Kimberly, the perfect hostess as always, walks over to the bar and gathers glasses for their guests. She politely takes drink orders while I try not to stare at Sasha as she introduces herself to Hardin for the second time. He gives her a brisk nod and sits down on the couch. A pang of disappointment hits me when he leaves a large space between us. Why do I feel so clingy all of a sudden? Is it because Sasha is so beautiful, or is it the way that Hardinâs eyes traveled down her body, or how weird heâs been all night?
âHowâs Lillian?â I ask to break the awkwardness and the tension and the aching jealousy thatâs stirring inside of me.
âSheâs fine. Sheâs been busy with university,â he coolly states.