âNo.â
âWhy not?â I reach for his hand to comfort the childlike worry inside of him.
âBecause I shouldnât have to choose at all, and he always knew about my plans and dreams, so I wouldnât have had to choose.â
âI donât have anything in Seattle.â He sighs.
âMe . . . youâd have me.â
âThatâs not enough.â
Oh . . . I turn away from him.
âI know thatâs fucked up, but itâs true. I have nothing there, and youâll have this new job, and youâll make new friendsââ
âYouâd have a new job, too. Christian said heâd give you a jobâand we would make new friends together.â
âI donât want to work for himâand the people youâd choose as friends are more than likely not going to be the same people I would choose. It would just be so different out there.â
âYou donât know that. Iâm friends with Steph.â
âOnly because you were roommates. I donât want to move there, Tessa, especially now that Iâve been expelled. It makes more sense for me to just go back to England and finish university there.â
âThis shouldnât only be about what makes sense for you.â
âConsidering that you went behind my back and saw Zed yet again, you arenât exactly in any position to be calling the shots.â
âReally? Because you and I havenât even established that weâre together again. I agreed to move back in, and you agreed to treat me better.â I stand up from the bed and begin to pace across the concrete floor. âBut you went behind my back and beat him up, resulting in your expulsionâso if anyone isnât in a position to call the shots, itâs you.â
âYou were hiding this from me!â He raises voice. âYouâve been planning to leave me and didnât tell me!â
âI know! Iâm sorry for that, but instead of arguing over whoâs the most wrong here, why donât we try to fix it or come to some sort of compromise?â
âYou . . .â He stops and stands up from the bed. âYou donât . . .â
âWhat?â I press.
âI donât know, I canât even think straight because of how mad I am at you.â
âIâm sorry for you finding out that way, but I donât know what else to say.â
âSay that you wonât go.â
âIâm not making that choice right now. I shouldnât have to.â
âWhen then? I wonât wait aroundââ
âWhat are you going to do, thenâleave? What happened to âI never wish to be parted from you from this day onâ?â
âReally? Youâre going to bring that up? You donât think an ideal time to bring up Seattle would be before I got a fucking tattoo for you? The irony isnât lost on me.â He steps closer to me, challenging me.
âI was going to!â
âBut you didnât.â
âHow many times are you going to mention that? We can go back and forth all day, but I really donât have the energy. Iâm over it,â I say.
âOver it? Youâre over it?â He half laughs.
âYes, over it.â Itâs true, Iâm over fighting with him about Seattle. Itâs suffocating and frustrating, and Iâve had just about enough.
He grabs a black sweatshirt from the closet and pulls it over his head before slipping his boots onto his feet.
âWhere are you going?â I demand.
âAway from here,â he huffs.
âHardin, you donât have to leave,â I call as he opens the door, but he ignores me.
If my father wasnât in the living room, Iâd chase after him and force him to stay.
But honestly, Iâm tired of chasing him.
Chapter seven
HARDIN
Tessaâs father is awake now, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed in front of his chest and staring blankly out the window.
âDo you need a ride somewhere?â I ask him. Iâm not thrilled with the idea of taking him anywhere, but I sure as hell despise the idea of leaving him alone with her.
He snaps his head my direction as if startled. âUm, yeah, is that okay?â he asks.
âYeah,â I quickly answer.
âOkay, I just want to say goodbye to Tessie.â He looks toward our bedroom.
âFine. Iâll be in the car.â
I head out the door, unsure of exactly where Iâm going after I drop the old fool off, but I know itâs not good for either of us if I stay here. Iâm so angry with myself. I know sheâs not the only one to blame here, but Iâm used to lashing out at people, and sheâs always with me, making her an easy target. Which makes me a pathetic motherfucker, I know. I keep my eyes trained on the entrance to our apartment building, waiting for Richard. If he doesnât come soon, Iâll leave his ass here. But then I sigh at the thought, since I really donât want to leave him here with her.
At last, the Father of the Year steps through the door and pulls down the sleeves of his shirt. I had expected him to wear the clothes of mine that Tessa gave him, but heâs dressed in his clothes from yesterday, only now theyâre clean. Damn Tessa, sheâs too fucking nice.
I turn the volume up on the radio as he opens the passenger door, hoping that the music will halt any conversation he might try to make.
No luck. âShe said to tell you to be careful,â he says as soon as he gets in, then buckles his seat belt like heâs trying to show me how to do it. Like heâs some airline hostess. I give him a small nod and pull onto the street.