But Hardin isnât paying attention to me; his eyes are only for her.
âI need some air,â I tell Landon and stand. My chair screeches against the wooden floor, and Hardin looks up from his conversation momentarily, but then he catches himself and pretends to have only been looking for his water before he returns to talking to this new girl of his.
Chapter thirty-nine
TESSA
My heels clacking loudly on the hardwood, I concentrate on making it to the back door of the restaurant through my alcohol haze. If we were closer to home, Iâd leave right now, pack my bags for Seattle, and stay in a hotel until I found an apartment.
I am so sick of Hardin doing this kind of shit to meâitâs painful and embarrassing, and itâs breaking me down. Heâs breaking me down, and he knows it. Thatâs exactly why heâs doing it. Heâs said as much before: he does these things because he knows theyâll get to me.
When I push through the doorâbriefly hoping it wonât set off an alarm or somethingâthe chill night air envelops me. Itâs calming, blanketing me in something other than the stale air and awkward tension of dull dinner companions.
I rest my elbows on a rock ledge and look out into the woods. Itâs dark, nearly pitch-black out there. The restaurant is nestled right in the middle of a wooded area, creating a secluded atmosphere. It works, and would be wonderful, but itâs not ideal for me right now, when I already feel trapped.
âAre you all right?â a voice sounds from behind me.
When I turn, Robert is standing in the doorway, a stack of plates in one hand.
âUm, yeah, I just needed to breathe,â I say.
âOh, itâs a little cold out here.â He smiles. His smile is polite and actually very endearing.
I give a smile back. âYeah, a little.â
Both of us stand in silence. Itâs slightly awkward, but I donât mind. Nothing is as awkward as sitting at that table.
A few seconds later he speaks up. âI havenât seen you around here before.â He gently places the plates on an empty table and walks closer to me. He leans his elbows on the ledge only a few feet away.
âIâm visiting. Iâve never been here before.â
âYou should visit in the summer. February is the worst time to come. Well, except for November and December . . . maybe even January.â His cheeks flush as he stammers, âY-you get what I mean.â Then he lets out a little chucklelike sound.
Trying not to giggle at him and his red cheeks, I say, âI bet itâs beautiful in the summer.â
âYeah, you are.â His eyes widen. âI mean it is. It is beautiful,â he corrects himself, and runs his hand over his face.
I force my lips together in an attempt not to laugh at him, but I canât help it. A small giggle escapes, causing him to look even more horrified than before.
âDo you live here?â I ask, trying to sidestep his embarrassment. His company is refreshing; itâs nice to be around someone whoâs not so intimidating. Hardin owns every room heâs in, and his presence is overwhelming half the time.
That calms him a tiny bit. âYeah, born and raised. And you?â
âI go to WCU. Iâll be starting at the Seattle campus next week.â I feel like Iâve been waiting so long to say those words.
âWow, Seattle. Impressive!â
He smiles and I laugh again. âSorry, wine makes me laugh a lot,â I blurt, and he looks over at me with a grin.
âWell, Iâm glad itâs not me that youâre laughing at.â His eyes roam my face, and I turn away. He looks back to the restaurant. âYou should get back inside before your boyfriend comes looking for you.â
I turn around to look in through the windows into the elegant space. Hardinâs head is still turned toward Lillian.
âTrust me, no one is coming to look for me,â I say with a sigh, and my bottom lip quivers as my heart betrays me, sinking lower and lower.
âHe looks pretty lost without you,â Robert tries to reassure me.
I spy Landon looking around the room, with nobody to talk to. âOh! Thatâs not my boyfriend. Mine is the one across the tableâthe one with the tattoos.â I watch as Robert looks at Hardin and Lillian and confusion sweeps over his soft features. Swirls of black ink peek out from the top of Hardinâs collared dress shirt. I love the way white looks on him; I love being able to see the hint of ink under the light-colored fabric.
âUm, does he know heâs your boyfriend?â Robert asks, raising his eyebrow.
I tear my eyes away from Hardin as he smirks, a deep smirk, the kind of smirk that shows his dimples, the kind of smirk that is usually given only to me. âIâm beginning to wonder the same thing.â
I bring my hands to my face and shake my head. âItâs complicated,â I groan.
Hold yourself together, donât fall into his game. Not this time.
Robert shrugs. âWell, who better to talk about your problems with than a stranger?â
We both gaze at the table that Iâm missing from. No one except Landon seems to even notice.
âDonât you have to work?â I ask, hoping that he doesnât. Robert is young, older than me, but he canât be any older than twenty-three at the most.
He seems fully confident as he smiles and says, âYeah, but I have it in good with the owner,â seeming to be telling himself a joke that Iâm not included in.
âOh.â
âSo, if thatâs your boyfriend, whoâs the girl with him?â
âHer name is Lillian.â I can hear the venom in my own voice. âI donât know her, neither does he . . . well, he didnât, but apparently now he does.â