âWhat?â If Iâm honest, the thought was already planted in my mind, but I didnât want to be the one say it.
âIt had to be him! Who else would know we were gone and come into our home but not steal shit? Only him, that stupid, drunk motherfucker!â
âHardin!â
âCall him, right now,â he demands.
I reach for my phone in my back pocket but then freeze. âHe doesnât have a phone.â
Hardin throws his hands up like itâs the worst thing heâs ever heard. âOh yeah, of course not. Heâs fucking broke and homeless.â
âStop it,â I say with a glare. âJust because you think it may have been him doesnât mean you can say things like that in front of me!â
âFine.â He lowers his arms and makes a sweeping gesture to escort me out. âLetâs go find him, then.â
I walk over to our landline. âNo! We should just call the police and report it, not go on a manhunt for my father.â
âCall the police and say what? That your drug-addict father broke into our apartment but didnât steal anything?â
I stop in my tracks and turn to face him. I can practically feel my temper flaring through my eyes. âDrug addict?â
He blinks rapidly and takes a step toward me. âI meant drunk . . .â He doesnât look at me. Heâs lying.
âTell me why you said drug addict,â I demand.
He shakes his head, running his hands over his hair. He looks at me, then down at the floor. âItâs just an assumption, okay?â
âAnd why would you assume that?â My eyes burn and my throat aches at the thought. Hardin and his brilliant assumptions.
âI donât know, maybe because that guy who showed up to pick him up looked like your everyday meth addict.â He looks up at me with softness in his eyes. âDid you see the guyâs arms?â
I remember the man scratching his forearms, but he was wearing long sleeves. âMy father is not a drug addict . . .â I say slowly, unsure if I believe the words that are coming out of my mouth, but knowing that Iâm not ready to face the possibility.
âYou donât even know him. I wasnât even going to say anything.â He steps toward me again, but I back away.
My bottom lip trembles, and I canât look at him any longer. âYou donât know him either. And if you werenât going to say anything, then why did you?â
He shrugs. âI donât know.â
My headache has now intensified, and Iâm so exhausted that I feel like I could pass out at any moment. âWhat was the point of saying it, then?â
âI said it because it just came out, and he broke into our fucking apartment.â
âYou donât know that.â He wouldnât. Would he?
âFine, Tessa, you go ahead and pretend that your dadâwho, may I remind you, is a drunkâis perfectly innocent here.â
His nerve is outstanding, as always. He is calling my father out for drinking? Hardin Scott is calling someone out for their drinking, when he gets so drunk that he can barely remember anything the next day?
âYouâre a drunk, too!â I say and then instantly cover my mouth.
âWhat did you say?â Any trace of sympathy drops from his face. He eyes me like a predator, starts circling me.
I feel bad, but I can see heâs just trying to scare me into staying quiet. Heâs so unaware of himself and how he is. âIf you think about it, you are. You only drink when youâre upset or angry; you donât know when to stop drinking; and youâre a mean drunk. You break things and get into fightsââ
âIâm not a fucking drunk. I had stopped drinking altogether until you came along.â
âYou canât blame me for everything, Hardin.â I ignore the way my mind is reminding me that I, too, have been turning to wine when Iâm upset or angry.
âIâm not blaming you for the drinking, Tessa,â he says pretty loudly.
âTwo more days and neither of us will have to worry about any of this!â I stalk out into the living room, and he follows.
âWould you just stop and listen to me?â he says in a tone thatâs electric, but at least itâs not yelling. âYou know I donât want you to leave me.â
âYeah, well, you do a pretty good job at showing me otherwise.â
âWhat is that supposed to mean? I tell you how much I love you on a constant!â
I see the flicker of doubt cross his face as he shouts the words to me; he knows that he doesnât show his love for me enough. âYou donât even believe that yourself. I can tell.â
âTell me this, then: you think you can find someone else to put up with your shit? Your constant whining and bitching, your annoying need to have everything in order, and your attitude?â He waves his hands in the air in front of him.
I laugh. I laugh right in Hardinâs face; even with my hand covering my mouth, I canât stop. âMy attitude? My attitude? You are constantly disrespecting meâyouâre borderline emotionally abusive, obsessive, suffocating, and rude. You came into my life, turned it upside down, and you expect me to bow down to you because you have this idea of yourself that is complete bullshit. You act like youâre this tough guy who doesnât give a crap about anyone but himself, yet you canât even sleep without me! I look past every single one of your flaws, but I will not stand around and let you talk to me like that.â
I pace back and forth across the concrete floor, and he watches my every move. I feel slightly guilty for yelling at him this way, but all it takes is remembering the words he just said to me to refuel my anger toward him. âAnd by the way, I may be a lot to handle sometimes, but thatâs because Iâm so busy worrying about you and everyone else around me, and trying not to piss you off, that I forget about myself. So excuse me if I annoy you, or bitch at you when youâre constantly lashing out at me for no damn reason!â