Chapter 4: Bound By Hatred: Chapter 3

Maybe Gianna didn’t understand it yet but marriage would be her cage no matter if she wanted it or not.

Last night after our kiss, I’d returned to the party to drink myself into a stupor when I’d come across my bastard of a father and Rocco Scuderi, talking about Gianna and his plans for her to marry some old geezer who was known for his hard hand with women. I hadn’t said anything then because I knew Father. If he thought I wanted Gianna because I desired her, liked her or wanted to protect her from a worse fate, he’d never agree to set me up with her.

Now in the morning, after the presentation of the sheets, I searched for Luca and found him on his way to the master bedroom with Aria at his side. “You two lovebirds will have to postpone your mating session. I need to have a word with you, Luca,” I said.

Luca and Aria turned around. Aria’s cheeks turned bright red and she peered up at my brother with a mix of worry and embarrassment. He glared at me before lowering his gaze to his wife. “Go ahead. Check if the maids packed all your stuff. I’ll be back soon.” She quickly disappeared in the bedroom.

“The sheets were fake, weren’t they? My big bad brother spared his little virgin bride.”

Luca glowered as he stepped close to me. “Keep your fucking voice down.”

“What happened? Did you have too much to drink and couldn’t get one up?”

“Fuck off. As if alcohol ever stopped me,” he said.

“Then what?”

Luca glared. “She started crying.”

I chuckled. I reached for the knife holder around his forearm and pushed it up, revealing a small wound. Luca snatched his arm away.

“You cut yourself.”

Luca looked like he was considering slicing me up into bite-sized pieces. Since I still needed his help, I decided to keep my taunting to a minimum.

“I knew it. I told Gianna last night that she didn’t need to worry about Aria. You have a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

“I don’t–” He frowned. “You were alone with Gianna?”

I nodded, then led him away from the bedroom, in case Aria was trying to eavesdrop. She’d only tell her sister everything. “I kissed her, and she tastes even better than she looks.”

“I can’t fucking believe you got more action than me in my own fucking wedding night,” Luca muttered.

“The ladies can’t resist my charm.”

He clamped his hand down on my shoulder. “This isn’t a joking matter, Matteo. The Outfit won’t find it funny if you go around deflowering their girls.”

“I didn’t deflower anyone. I kissed her.”

“Yeah, as if that’s ever the end of it.”

“I want to deflower her. But I’m not an idiot.”

‘Really?’ that’s what Luca’s expression said.

“I want to marry her.”

Luca stopped abruptly. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m not. That’s why I need your help. Father won’t talk to Scuderi on my behalf if he thinks I want Gianna for any other reason than spite or revenge. You know him.”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Help me convince him that she hates me and insulted me and that I want to marry her to make her miserable.”

“Isn’t that the truth? The girl can’t stand you, and you want her because of it. How is that any different from the story we’re going to tell Father?”

“I don’t want to make her miserable.”

Luca looked doubtful. “The end result might be the same. That girl is going to drive you insane, you realize that, don’t you? I’m really not sure if I want her in New York.”

“You’ll deal with it. And Aria will be happy to have her sister with her.”

“You really think you thought that through, don’t you?”

“I did. And Father will choose some bitch that’ll make me miserable for me soon enough.”

“So you rather choose your own bitch who’ll make you miserable.”

I shook off his hand. “Gianna isn’t a bitch.”

“You want to hit me because of her,” Luca said with a twisted smile.

“I want to hit you for a lot of reasons.”

Luca shook his head. “Come on. Let’s find Father.”

We headed down the corridor and down the stairs toward Father’s office. He was on his way out of the room. I forced my face into a mask of fury. “I can’t believe her fucking nerve.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Luca said to me, then he turned to Father. “The Scuderi redhead provoked Matteo.”

Father raised his brows in mild interest. “How so?” He gestured for us to move into his office, then closed the door.

I pretended to be seething while Luca made up some ridiculous story that ended with Gianna telling me that her Father would never give her to New York, and that nobody could convince him otherwise.

“She made it sound as if I was beneath her, as if we were beneath her. I want the bitch to pay. I don’t care what she wants. I want her in my bed.”

Excitement flashed in Father’s eyes. The sadist actually believed that bullshit, because in his twisted, power-hungry, sadist mind, it made sense. “I suppose I can talk to Scuderi. He’ll be glad to be rid of her. She’s a handful.” His smile widened. “You’ll have to teach her manners, Matteo.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. I’d teach her a lot of things.

Two days later my father and Scuderi came to an agreement and Gianna was mine. Now I just had to figure out a good time to tell her.

***

Gianna Sometimes at night when I relived our kiss, I wondered if maybe Matteo and I weren’t such a bad idea. But then Aria called and told me about how she’d found Luca cheating on her, and that was the wake-up call I’d desperately needed. Made Men would always kill, always cheat, always ruin anything they touched. I wouldn’t let anyone treat me like that. I wouldn’t even give them the chance to try. No matter how much my body wanted to kiss Matteo again, I swore to myself that I would push him away. One kiss had already been too much. If I let him close again, he’d never leave me alone.

Of course when I visited New York a couple of weeks after Aria’s wedding, Matteo was there in Luca’s apartment to have dinner with us. The grin he gave me when Aria led me toward the table made my blood boil. Had he told anyone about our kiss? I hadn’t even told Aria about it, and I’d always told Aria everything. This would be a long dinner.

***

The next day I convinced Aria to take me to a club dancing, desperate to forget Matteo. It was my first taste of freedom, and boy, did it taste good. Not as good as Matteo, an annoying voice reminded me, but it was soon blasted away by the beats filling the dance floor of the Sphere. It was an exhilarating experience to have strangers check me out, to have them want me. I’d never dressed this sexy before, had never been allowed to, and couldn’t help but feel strangely empowered. I was dancing with a tall guy when he was suddenly shoved away from me by none other than Matteo fucking Vitiello.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he snarled.

“What the fuck are you doing? This is none of your business.” My dance partner had found his balance again and stepped up to us but before he could say something Matteo punched him below the ribs, sending him to his knees, and then two bouncers were there and dragged the guy away.

I stood in stunned silence. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

Matteo brought his face close to mine and gripped my upper arm. “You won’t ever do this again. I won’t let you mess around with other guys.”

“I wasn’t messing around, I was dancing.” Then his words really sank in. “With other guys? So you think because we kissed once you can tell me what to do with my life? Newsflash: you don’t own me, Matteo.”

He smirked. “Oh, but I do.” His dark eyes roamed over my skimpy outfit, lingering on my naked legs. “Every inch of you.”

I shook off his grip. “You are insane. Get away from me.” He followed Luca without another word, but left one of his stupid baboons-slash-bodyguards with me. I was so angry, I wanted to run after him and pummel him to dust.

Instead I went over to Aria who looked lost as she stood unmoving in the center of the dance floor. “That asshole,” I muttered.

After a moment, her eyes settled on me. “Who?”

“Matteo. The guy has the nerve to tell me not to dance with other men. What is he? My owner. Fuck him.” Aria looked miles away. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go to the bar.” Luca’s two lapdogs, Romero and Cesare, followed us and Aria lashed out at them. “Can you watch us from afar? You’re driving me crazy.”

Stunned, I watched as she rushed toward the bar and ordered drinks for us. Romero and Cesare were watching us with hawk eyes from afar. So much for feeling free and having fun. Anger at Matteo resurfaced again but I swallowed it. I wouldn’t let him ruin the evening.

“You can go dancing,” Aria said with a shaky smile, clinging to her drink like it was her lifeline.

“In a few minutes. You look pale.”

“I’m okay.”

She didn’t look okay, and I wasn’t sure why she didn’t want to tell me what was bothering her. Though I really had no right to complain. After all, I still hadn’t told her about the kiss.

“I really need to go to the restroom,” I said after several minutes of silence.

“I need to sit for a few more minutes.”

I hesitated, wondering if it was a good idea to leave her, but it wasn’t like she was alone. After all, Romero never left her out of sight, thanks to Luca’s possessiveness.

I made my way toward the back of the bar where the restrooms were, trying not to lose my shit on Cesare who was like an annoying shadow. When I returned to the bar a few minutes later, all hell had broken lose. Aria was swaying and Cesare had to hold her up while Romero had his knife buried in some sleezebag’s leg. “You will follow us. If you try to run, you’ll die,” Romero growled.

“Aria?” I whispered, my heart pounding in my chest. She didn’t seem to hear me.

“Take her drink. But don’t drink,” Cesare told me. I picked up the glass, too shaken to be annoyed by his patronizing tone.

We made our way to the back and then down into a basement. Aria’s legs barely supported her. I stayed beside her the entire time. When we stepped into a sort of office, my eyes settled on Matteo who lounged in a chair. His gaze zoomed in on me before taking in the rest of the scene. He pushed to his feet. “What’s going on?”

“Probably roofies,” Romero said.

Roofies? I narrowed my eyes at the asshole who’d drugged my sister. I wanted to hurt him, but the expression on Matteo’s face made it clear that I would get my wish. His eyes held a promise to me. I knew it was sick, but somehow this made me want to kiss him even more.

Something was so wrong with me.

***

Aria and I were sent away before Luca and Matteo started dealing with the bastard, and Romero led us out the backdoor toward an SUV. My heart clenched when I settled on the backseat with Aria’s head on my lap. She was so helpless. I stroked her hair as I listened to her rambling. The idea that someone wanted to hurt her scared the shit out of me. This was probably the first time that I was glad for our bodyguards. Without them that sick fuck would have kidnapped Aria and raped her. But I knew he’d get what he deserved, and I was oddly okay with it. I hated the mob and what it stood for, but right now I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad for Aria’s attacker. Maybe this was a sign of how much this life had shaped me, a sign of how messed up I was. I couldn’t get the look on Matteo’s face out of my head. That flicker of excitement as he pulled out his knife before Aria and I left the room. He and Luca were both monsters. I wasn’t sure yet who was the more dangerous of the two. But the worst thing was that part of me felt attracted to Matteo’s monstrous side.

***

Almost one month had passed since I’d last seen Matteo. Somehow his words about owning me still wouldn’t leave my mind. Every time I relived our kiss, I brought them to the forefront of my brain to let my anger wash away any kind of longing my body felt. The only reason why I even still remembered that stupid kiss was because things at home were so bad. I was constantly fighting with Father, most of the time about my habit of saying what I thought, just like today. “I don’t give a damn what’s expected of me.”

Mother shushed me, her eyes shock-wide, but I was beyond listening. If Father told me one more time that I should behave myself like a decent lady, I’d lose my shit. “Why is it so difficult to get into your head? I don’t want to be a lady, definitely don’t want to be a good little wife to some mob asshole some day. I’d rather cut my own throat than end like that.”

I saw it coming but didn’t even try to avoid it. Father’s palm hit my face. It was one of his lighter slaps, which usually wasn’t a good sign. He hit hard when he had no words to break my spirits. If he went easy on me, I wouldn’t like what he had to say. He gripped my shoulders hard until I met his gaze. “Then maybe you should go looking for a sharp knife, Gianna, because Vitiello and I decided to marry you off to his son Matteo.”

My mouth fell open. “What?”

“You must have made quite an impression because he asked his Father to make this arrangement.”

“You can’t do that!”

“I can. And it wasn’t my idea. Matteo seemed very adamant about marrying you.”

“That bastard.”

Father’s grip tightened and I winced. Lily only stared with huge blue eyes. She and Aria had only occasionally experienced Father’s rougher side. He usually reserved his slaps and cruelness for me, the bad daughter. “This is exactly the reason why I’m glad to have you out of our territory. If I married you off to one of our soldiers, I’d have to punish one of our own for beating you to death for your insolence, but if Matteo Vitiello tortures some sense into you, I’ll be off the hook because I can’t risk war with New York.”

I swallowed my hurt. I knew Father liked me least, and it wasn’t as if I needed his approval or affection, but his words stung anyway. Mother, of course, didn’t say anything, only stared down at her plate while folding and unfolding her stupid napkin. Lily’s eyes were brimming with tears but she knew better than to open her mouth when Father was in a mood. She and Aria had always been better at self-preservation than me.

“When did you make the decision?” I asked firmly, trying to mask my feelings.

“Matteo and his father approached me right after Aria’s wedding.”

And suddenly I knew when Matteo had decided to marry me: when I’d told him the morning after our kiss that I would never marry him. The arrogant asshole couldn’t take the hit to his pride. He was marrying me to prove a point: that he got whatever he wanted, that he had the power while I was a marionette in the hands of the mafia. “I won’t marry him or anyone else. I don’t care what you say. I don’t care what the Vitiellos are saying. I don’t fucking care.”

Father shook me hard until my ears started ringing. “You will do as I say, girl, or I swear I will beat you until you forget your name.”

I glared. I’d never hated anyone as much as I hated the man in front of me, and yet part of me, some hopeful, stupid, weak part loved him. “Why do you do this? It’s not necessary. We already gave them Aria to make peace. Why do you force me to marry? Why can’t you let me go to college and be happy?”

Father’s lips curled in disgust. “Go to college? Are you really that stupid? You are going to be Matteo’s wife. You are going to warm his bed and bear his children. End of story. Now go to your room before I lose my patience.”

Lily sent me a pleading look. What had once been Aria’s job was now Lily’s: keeping me out of trouble. If it hadn’t been for her, I would have continued the fight. I didn’t care if Father beat me over and over again, it wouldn’t change my mind.

I turned on my heel and ran up to my room where I grabbed my phone and flung myself on my bed. I speed dialed Aria and after the second ring she answered. Hearing her voice, the tears I’d been holding back, slipped out. At least, our bastard of a father couldn’t see them.

“Aria,” I whispered. The tears were coming faster already.

“Gianna, what happened? What’s going on? Are you hurt?”

“Father’s giving me to Matteo.” The words sounded so ridiculous. Nobody in the outside world would even understand them. I wasn’t a piece of furniture that could be handed over to someone and yet that was my reality.

“What do you mean he’s giving you to Matteo?”

“Salvatore Vitiello spoke to Father and told him that Matteo wanted to marry me. And Father agreed!”

“Did Father say why? I don’t understand. I’m already in New York. He didn’t need to marry you off to the Familia too.”

“I don’t know why. Maybe Father wants to punish me for saying what I think. He knows how much I despise our men, and how much I hate Matteo. He wants to see me suffer.” That wasn’t exactly the truth. I didn’t really hate Matteo, at least not more than I hated every other Made Men. I hated what he stood for and what he did, hated that he had asked Father for my hand like my opinion didn’t matter.

“Oh, Gianna. I’m so sorry. Maybe I can tell Luca and he can change Matteo’s mind.”

“Aria, don’t be naïve. Luca knew all along. He’s Matteo’s brother and the future Capo. Something like that isn’t decided without him being involved.”

“When did they make the decision?”

After I was stupid enough to kiss him. “A few weeks ago, even before I came to visit.” I couldn’t tell her that it had happened at her wedding. Aria would only figure out a way to blame herself for my misery.

“I can’t believe him! I’m going to kill him. He knows how much I love you. He knows I wouldn’t have allowed it. I would have done anything to prevent the agreement.”

Aria sounded remarkably like me in that moment, and while my heart swelled with love for her because of her willingness to protect me, I couldn’t allow it. Maybe Aria didn’t see it, but Luca was a monster and I didn’t want her to get hurt, not for me, not when it was already too late. “Don’t get in trouble because of me. It’s too late anyway. New York and Chicago shook hands on it. It’s a made deal, and Matteo won’t let me out of his clutches.”

And I knew it to be true. Even if he decided he didn’t want me, he would never admit it. I’d always thought I could evade marriage, had always thought I could figure out a way to go to college, to find a life away from the mob world.

“I want to help you, but I don’t know how,” Aria said miserably.

“I love you, Aria. The only thing that stops me from cutting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Matteo means I’ll live in New York with you.” I’d never considered suicide a valid option, had never felt miserable enough to do it. But sometimes it felt like the only choice I had left in my life, the only way to decide my own fate and to ruin Father’s plans was actually when to end it. But I’d never actually go through with it. I couldn’t hurt my siblings like that, and despite everything I clung to life too much.

“Gianna, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. If you hurt yourself, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“You are much stronger than me, Aria. I have a big mouth and flashy bravado, but you are resilient. You married Luca, you live with a man like him. I don’t think I could have done it. I don’t think I can.” I’d seen glimpses of Matteo’s darkness in New York when he’d offered to kill Aria’s attacker to make me happy, and afterwards in his eyes when he’d been covered in blood like Luca. There hadn’t been regret or guilt in his gaze then. Sometimes I thought he was the more dangerous of the two because he was less in control. Sometimes I thought he hid how messed up he was with his outgoing personality.

“We’ll figure it out, Gianna,” Aria said.

I knew she couldn’t do anything.

***

That evening Matteo fucking Vitiello actually dared to call my phone. I ignored him. There was no way in hell that I’d talk to him. Not after what he’d done. If he thought this was over, if he thought he’d won, then he had another think coming.