Chapter 33: chapter 33

Arnab   sat quietly as he ate. Mowri  was a great cook. There was no doubt. She had made dal and bhindi not to mention dry chicken and it wasabsolutely delicious. He didn't know what else to say. He had come back around nine and she had waited for him to have dinner. He hadn't wantedto but it had felt nice to come home to someone waiting for you. He realized his priorities had changed as he had matured. Previously Nisha  's presence or absence hadn't botheredhim all that much. Her need to be constantly around people and friends had amused him onlylater it had started becoming irritated.He hadn't been able to keep Mowri  out of his thoughts all day. And that had iritated him a bit but every time he remembered her laughter hefelt good. Not that he was the cause for it but that didn't matter. Her face had kept interfering with his Concentration. But it had been a busyday. An unexpected meeting with his senior over some issue they were facing had caused him delay. So he had arranged for a car for herto go get whatever she had wanted. Only later it had occurred to him that he could have sent money to her. How had she managed to pay up for everything she had got? It was something he hadn't thought about before. But he will have to make some kind of arrangement for her so she didn't feel she had to ask him for money every time she had to go get something or even if she didnt need to buy something. He decided he would open an account for her the coming weekend and deposit a certain amount so she could use the debit cards when she wanted.And give her the authority to use that account as she deemed fit. That would be a great idea. She could use the same account later too when she started working again."I met Jaswinder today in the market," Mowri  said as she took a sip of water."You mean Jassi," Arnab   asked."Yes," Anmrit said, "but her name is Jaswinder, right?" she asked wondering if she had heard it correctly."Yes," Arnab   said and smiled fondly, "but no one knows her by that name in fact she doesn't even like it. According to her it doesn't suit her personality she likes being called Jaz butHarpreet wants her to just keep it to Jassi," he said.Mowri  reflected on what he had just told her.He seemed to be fond of Jassi. And sheremembered what Jassi had told her. Arnab   treated her as a sister he never had."Yes, well, she invited us over for dinner on Friday" Mowri  said quietly."And what did you say?" Arnab   asked curiously."I told her I would ask you but she insisted and I had to say yes," Mowri  replied."Mowri , is something wrong?" Arnab   asked."No, why?" she asked."Because you are trying to change yourself," Arnab   said as he kept his spoon down, "as far as I know you do not like to be dictated things to so why this sudden change?" he asked as watched her.Mowri  sighed. She hated doing that but the constant whether Arnab   would like this or whether he would like that, the constant doubts were driving her nuts."I know' she said quietly then quickly added, "it is difficult you know when you are used to taking decisions all by yourself and then suddenly you find you need to take other people into consideration as well,"' she said, "it is driving me nuts, she said grumpily."Then why are you doing it?" Arnab   asked."Because I don't know what is the correct behavior around you," she said with a humph, and Arnab   raised an eyebrow, "you know what is frustrating that I know you wouldn't object, wouldn't mind but the constant pressure of what if you did so I get unsure and besides lI don't know Jassi at all so to suddenly meet her and then the invite and the fact that I have no clue about your relationship with them so I guess I am just coping with being married,' she said and put her chin in her palm and her elbow on the table.Arnab   took in a deep breath. He understood what she was saying. Being married to someone you barely know had its disadvantages. They were comfortable but not as comfortable. It would take some time. Though they had spent a week together they were still strangers. What would you call the time you spent together withso many people around? Even when they had been alone they hadn't talked all that much.So this was bound to happen. She was being conscious about everything which was not wrong but which was not right either. She was trying to be on her guard at all times and that would eventually take a toll on her."Mowri " Arnab   said gently, "I know what you mean and I understand your frustration," he said,"I know it is not easy to live with a stranger and I am a stranger to you. Unfortunately that is our reality that we are married but don't know each other all that well. We didn't have that kind of time or luxury. So to suddenly expect you to adjust to everything new around you be it me, be it my friends, be it my family or even this place," he said, "is expecting too much. And trust me I want you to take it slow and easy. Do things your way, say what you want, do what you like if I don't like it I will let you know. But if you show me that you are already adjusted and everything is fine then that is how | will take it. For me communication is the key" Arnab   said, "you have got to spit it out and this timidity does not suit you at all," he said firmly. "The fiery person you are is what I liked best about you so don't change that aspect at all. I promise lI will not let that affect our marriage." he said and smiled.Mowri  knew he was right. Sudden changes were never good. Why was she acting strangely? He hadn't asked her to. In fact he knew how she was. She should be herself and she would feel better. But the responsibility of being a good wife was too much to bear, the expectations. Arnab  didn't tell her the rules of being a good wife so why was she bowing down to conventional rules. He was right. She should be herself and let him decide what he liked and what he didn't. It suddenly made more sense now and she did not feel confused."You are right" Mowri  said."Good' he said, "the chicken was delicious, by the way," he added."I know," she said her confidence back, "I learnt it from a Malayali friend in Delhi. The spices and the flavor is very Malabar" she said proudly."I like it" he said smiling as he watched his wife's eyes sparkle with pride."l asked Jassi if I should get something but she flatly refused' she told him as they both regained eating their dinner."Yup she is pretty dense that way" Arnab   said, "Harpreet has been having a tough time with her lately what with her hormones being out of control and all so for the mean time we have all decided to just let her be" he told her."Hmmm," was all Mowri  said."Mowri ," Arnab   said as he finished his food, "there is something important I wanted to talk to you about," he said when he thought he had her attention, "how did you pay for the groceries youpicked today?" he asked seriously.Mowri  sipped her water. She had been meaningto talk about it and she was glad he had picked up the topic."T had some money so I paid with it," she replied,"l guess amongst everything else we forgot to talk about finance," she said."Was it yours?" Arnab   asked.He knew it must be but he wanted to hear it from her it could be that his parents gave her some money. Though he had his doubts about that because they expected him to take care of these things and it had completely slipped his mind."Yes," she said."Give me the bills and I will return that cash," he said and at the frown he received he knew she had taken it the wrong way. "Mowri  you are married to me and are not earning right now.Andwhatever your savings are they are yours and I have no right to it. You can spend that money or keep it as you wish. So whatever you spent today should have ideally been paid for by me. It is my mistake that | let that slip my mind and I am sorry for that," he explained."'So how do we go from here?" she asked."Good question," Arnab   said thoughtfully, "till the time you don't start working again and even then if you don't want to contribute for thehousehold things it is fine by me," he said and when she opened her mouth to intervene he held up his hand, "hear me out. We will discuss that when we reach that stage. For now we will open an account for you here and transfer a certain amount in it. It will be your account and you operate it. I will deposit a certain amount in it every month so you don't have to wait for me to be around to pay the bills or whatever else you need it for. If ever you feel the need to have more you just need to tell me okay' he said then added as an afterthought, "and I will add your name for all my other accounts as well just in case of anemergency or in case of a mishap you need totake out money you will be able to do that" he said.Mowri  listened to him. Everything he had said made sense, for her to keep her savings aside and use it as she deemed fit. If and when she started earning again they could decide what todo, for now an account that she could operate for household bills would be great. Only what he had said about emergencies was something that she didnt like at all. What had he meant by that? Was he expecting some kind of mishap?"What do you mean emergency?" she asked alarmed."In my line of duty one just never knows Mowri "Arnab   said patiently. He knew this was all new to her, "Currently I am working in a segment where I don't require to be active in the field but I can be deployed anytime. And anything can happen" he said seriously, "even death," he said and he heard her gasp but he smiled reassuringly. "It is something you should know Mowri  even accept.Our life is not all party and play you know," he said."I know' she said a little unsteadily, "it is just you never think about these things just because youare not part of a family like that or because you are so young," she said, "but you are right we should be prepared for the eventuality it is better that way" she said then added, "so I should make you a nominee too,' she said."Me? Why me?" Arnab   asked confused."In the advent that something happens to me,"she said without looking at him, "I may not be on active duty or anything but there are other variables that are attached to my life too' she said thoughtfully."Variables?" Arnab   asked unable to believe that she was talking about her being in a bad situation probably even death."Yes, like an accident or an illness," she said casually, "you know we take life for granted and we fail to realize that the reaper can strike anytime,' she said gave a small smile.Arnab   couldn't believe his ears. He had always known the truth of his job and he had accepted it with ease for the simple reason he was part of a family whose members had been in the same field. His grandfather, his father and now him so it never looked as if it wasa great hazard.You just accepted it as a string that came with the job. But she was a teacher at a college why would he even think about something happening to her? Why would she think like that? It was true what she said but still. He couldn't in his mind even begin to think of something happening toher. Ever. Wait. What?"Nothing is going to happen to you," he said gravely, 'you shouldn't even think about it" he told her."lf you can why not me" she countered back, "I am not saying I am going to die tomorrow but it is something one should be prepared for isn't that what you just said?" she asked."Yes" Arnab   said, "but it was only because it is something that should be considered because of my job you don't have a dangerous job,' he said irritated with the subject suddenly, "you shouldn't think like that" he said."It was so easy for you to talk about it because you have accepted that reality for yourself" she said with her arms across her chest, 'and with the same ease you asked me to accept it too," she said sarcastically, "tell me how long have we known each other or even how long have been married? Only a week," she said, "l agree we need to be practical and work towards securing a future but you did not have to talk about death like that to me. You felt bad when I did the same guess how I felt?" she said and rose from her chair.Then picking up her plate went to the kitchen to put away everything. Arnab   watched her quietly as she worked. She made three trips to the table and carried everything back and put the leftover food in the fridge. Then without even glancing at him went upstairs. Damn. In his attempt to explain things to her he forgot that she was new to this side of life. That it would take her some time to accept this he should have stopped just at opening an account for her. Now she was upset. And he couldn't fault her considering how he had felt when she had suggested something like that. He was still reeling with the effects of causal mention of something happening to her. What was wrong with him? If he could easily accept the same for himself why could he not accept the same for her? No matter how much he tried to reason with himself he couldn't think of it. He just couldn't. Just this morning she had laughed he just hoped he hadn't made her cry.With that he picked up his plate and went to the kitchen to put it away. He should say sorry and with that he went upstairs. What he didn't know was that his wife was not the crying sorts she was the kind who would not make it easy for you to apologize if you hurt her. But that was okay because he was soon going to find out.*********************