Chapter 16: Chapter 16 - Goodbye

Violet

“Awake?” Violet asked him as soon as Jacob poked his head in the kitchen.

“Sleep evaded me too right after Gia died,” Jacob sighed and then opened the fridge pulling a cold water bottle.

“What about now?” Violet inquired over the brim of her cocoa.

“You’re not a light walker.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize,” Violet started.

It hurt to know she was no longer had the stealth of a ninja. Having a withdrawn wolf meant the enhanced senses and abilities the beast side brought, were diminished if not absent. Her escape from Gagon’s land had made her feel a part of a James Bond movie. And who wouldn’t feel safe with Bond their side?

“Don’t be. It comes with the territory.”

“It’s because my wolf is gone…”

“She’s asleep, not gone. She could never be gone.” Jacob consoled her, “Besides, I could use the company.”

“I am not there yet,” Violet immediately declined. Jacob was amazingly level headed, and did look delicious, but she was certainly not ready for the dating scene.

“You have to stop propositioning me, dear. I’m flattered and not that I am refusing, but I didn’t mean anything sexual,” Jacob smiled brightly at her.

Embarrassment crept on Violet’s cheeks, coloring them crimson. His previous comment kept replaying in her head. It was vague enough for her rejected mind interpreted his words in intentions he never actually wanted. He has never been anything but a kindred soul, someone who willingly pledged himself to be her spiritual guide when the stakes were against her.

“Why not? Am I not good enough for you?” She asked disappointed.

“Is there a way to answer the question without being in the dog house?” Jacob asked jokingly then added with understanding, “Listen, it’s the hurt talking. You’re strong, you’d get through this. Then you’ll see how beautiful and fierce you are, and you’ll believe in yourself again. It will take time, but you’d get there.”

“What if I don’t want to wait?”

“Why the rush?” Jacob asked.

“I just hate how this feels.”

“How does it feel?”

“Like I am the unwanted burden people pass around and nobody sees me, but this shattered person. I don’t want to be broken. I want to be loved. So what why not you, me now?”

“You don’t do patience, do you? There’s nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. But being with you now would be taking advantage of your vulnerable stage, of the trust you have in me. You won’t be able to lean on me, the way we both know you need to. I want to see you laughing, smiling and loving life and yourself first before you rush into a relationship with whomever you choose or even me.”

Violet’s eyes watered as she tried to speak but as the words didn’t come out, she walked over Jacob and gave him a hug, pecking his cheek.

“You’re quickly becoming my rock,” Violet whispered in his ear then added with a mischief, “in the most non sexual way.”

“Only you can come up with something like that,” Jacob laughed.

Violet quickly joined in the laugh then reluctantly stepped away from him.

“You’ll get there,” Jacob told her as if he had read her mind.

“It seems like a colossal waste of time to pine over him, while he is happy with someone else.”

“Honestly, take no offense but it sounds to me like you are just trying to run through your life, without really taking time to enjoy living it.”

“Enjoy my rejection?” Violet asked puzzled.

“Every minute and every experience shapes us to the person who we are today. What did you learn from your rejection?”

“He was a cheating SOB,” Violet shrugged.

“That’s his problem. What did you learn from your experience?” Jacob again repeated his question.

“I should have trusted my gut, not my heart,” Violet admitted.

In retrospect, things were so much clearer now. She should have known better. But she didn’t, and now she was paying for her weakness.

“Did you really truly, unconditionally love him with all that you were?” Jacob asked.

Violet saw where he was leading with his line of questioning. Witnessing the depth of the love Jacob had for his Gia, Violet knew her answer.

“No.”

They were strangers fooling themselves they had a relationship, while in fact they only had one night, and a half, if she would count spanking him as something intimate.

“Then it wasn’t your heart that betrayed you. It was your brain. You convinced yourself he is the one, because the Fates gave you the tingles. You were in love with the idea of a mate, you’ve done so much to get to the meet your mate, so when Karim came along, you tried with all that you could to keep him, to become someone you thought he would love. You see, relationships, even Fated ones, don’t necessarily happen as the movies or books would tell you. They take time, and consistent work. While I have no doubt your mark on Xander was essential to guarantee your escape from Shadow Waters, you didn’t give anyone time to accommodate to your appearance. Karim and Alyssa were together long before you. They had a connection beyond what the mating pull made you feel about him. They had time together and memories. In the end they had love. The human type of love, which takes time to blossom. You expected him to just discard his life just because you came around.”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“I would. But I would have recognized our attraction as lust, fueled by Fate. While in an ideal world it could be enough, we’re mere mortals. We make mistakes. We hold onto the past, and what we are comfortable with, because it has worked for so long.” Jacob explained to her.

“I wanted a mate badly enough that I ignored the signs, ending up pushing him away,” Violet concluded.

“The magnitude of such love and devotion can be scary. If you are not in the right mind frame, it will make you a stubborn mule, tightly holding on to the past.” Jacob replied.

“All I wanted was love. I was really looking forward to being mates, because that was what kept me alive. I naively thought everything else will fall into place, if only I am the bigger person to forgive and forget first. Because that’s what you do in a relationship.”

“You do but it is never one sided. By doing all the work, you donned the pink shades of love. It will be something you never do again, and mark my words, you’d find the love of your life, and everything would be flawless. I know it’s hard to trust a stranger after something like this, but know that not all males are cruel, selfish, sadistic bastards as Gagon. Karim screwed up, cowardly handling the whole situation. I hope Devon and Xander gave you enough hope for mankind.”

“They kept finding excuses for him,” Violet confessed what was really bothering her all this time.

“Making sense of what happened is different than siding with him.”

“I fail to see the difference.”

“I won’t sugarcoat it. It’s shitty situation to be in. On one hand, it is you, his fated, who had next to none experience and your head filled with cotton candy of how a mate would be all that you need. I blame the stupid love books that surface and make it seem like the mating pull would solve everything. It’s not a foundation. It’s just nature, calling to your attention, hey, that could be our Love. It’s up to you to invest the time and grow the relationship. Sure, the pull makes things easy, but it also masks issues, which could ruin everything between the couple. On the other hand, his Chosen has been there for him. Both Alyssa and Karim had relationships before, you didn’t. They made the same mistakes you did with Karim. But they had the time to work on their perception of love, and make things work with each other. You just can’t expect him to disregard all the years they’ve been together, proclaiming them fake. It’s experience you can never erase. It’s not a habit, you need to break. It becomes an essence, a part of you. By showing up, you made him feel like he was living a lie, and of course his Ego would be hurt and misfire into a big fuzz over your claim on Xander. At least, that’s how I see it going down,” Jacob explained to her.

“So we were doomed before we even met.”

“I think you were headed in for a train wreck from the moment you decided to submit to the mating pull.”

“In retrospect, I can see what you say is true,” Violet sighed. She wished she had the same wisdom as Jacob to recognize the events as they really were – just chances, they tried to cease, in desperation they might soon disappear.

“But in the heat of the moment you were love-struck and blind to it,” Jacob effortlessly read her mind.

“Exactly,” Violet agreed.

“That’s why people have friends, to bounce off ideas, to share their lives with, so they don’t put their blinders, on and pretend you’re the shit.”

“Another mistake, I had nobody.”

“Now you have me in your corner, Xander, and even Devon. You’ll get there,” Jacob told her. “But in your defense, it’s not entirely your fault. Karim had experience on his side. He knew you had nobody, other than Xander and he was the sore issue between the two of you. He also should have known Lust from Love. The only explanation for his insanity would be the mating pull also screwed with his brains. While it was admirable that Devon made you guys spend time together, he also pushed the relationship while you were both not ready. We have a lot to learn from human courtship.”

“It makes sense the way you explain it. You know, if you ever get tired of the Alpha gig, you can always double as Love Guru.”

“Funny,” Jacob smiled. “Gia had a rule, we talk before falling asleep. How our day went, what was new, discuss gossip. She was good with reading people, while I was cocky enough to think I am better. She was my mate, but above all she was my confident, and my best friend. Now that’s something worth daydreaming about.”

“I want a love as great as the one you had,” Violet admitted.

“Then the first step is to accept it wasn’t entirely his fault; that multiple factors, some beyond both of your reach, were at play. The second step is to learn to avoid this happening in your next relationship.”

“Yeah, right, as if someone would want me.”

“You’d be surprised. The Goddess is gracious; she always looks after her children. Life taught you a harsh string of lessons, and it is now up to you to show it, you’ve learned.”

“How?”

“Xander for starters. He should be on his way to find his mate, not here playing house with you.”

“Harsh.”

“But true,” Jacob added.

“I know it is selfish to rely on him so much, but it is scary letting the only person who has been supportive of me go,” Violet confessed her deepest fear.

“I am a little offended now, you don’t consider me in that category,” Jacob countered.

“Jacob, you have your own category,” Violet smiled at him.

“That twinkle in your eye, girly, tells me you’ll find another mate faster than you realize. And nope, I am not him,” Jacob smiled.

“Why?”

“Because…” Jacob started then continued, “You’re a fireball. I won’t be able to keep up with. You see, I am more of a home-body, just like my pack. We are boring. We stay on our land, and nothing exciting ever happens to us. But you need to live, and to experience life. You need to test your limits, to experience the good in the world and in love. You and I – we want different things, and we won’t work.”

“How do you know?”

“Experience. It comes with time,” Jacob smiled.

“I should send Xander away,” Violet more or less asked him, hoping she misunderstood.

“If he was your mate, would you want him consoling someone else?”

“I’ll be a hypocrite if I don’t admit I blamed Karim for doing the same with Alyssa,” Violet admitted, then sighed at the realization. “Life proved me right.”

“Life is about learning. If you take out something of a situation then, that’s the win you should be thankful for.”

“I’ll talk to Xander tonight,” Violet reluctantly promised. Jacob nodded as an encouragement, then smiled bumping her shoulder with his, making her smile as well. Violet asked, “So what are you up to?”

“Good cup of coffee and paperwork. You can sit with me.”

“Are you asking me to do paperwork for you?”

“Would you? There’s plenty to go around,” Jacob asked her.

“I take my coffee with a lot of crème and sugar,” Violet told him.

“Fair, command the poor Alpha to fetch you coffee while you vaguely promise help with his paperwork,” Jacob theatrically exclaimed but busied himself making her coffee.

“I’ll have you know I am terrific with details.”

“I’m terrific at delegating work,” Jacob teased and Violet threw at him a sugar packet, “The abuse.”

“So besides you and your Gamma nobody is here?”

“Yes. I told you I have more than enough space.”

“Where’s your Beta?”

“Sulking,” Jacob replied over his shoulder.

“And you condone it?” Violet asked.

Jacob definitely didn’t look like an Alpha who would allow someone to waste their life or energy. Hadn’t he already manipulated her in doing the right thing where Xander was concerned?

“He lost his mate, too.”

Now that, she didn’t expect. Her heart ached for him.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He’s better off without that viper,” Jacob casually dropped another bomb.

Violet raised her eyebrows, “She rejected him?”

“You thought only males make stupid mistakes?” Jacob laughed.

“No. But if you chose him as your Beta, then obviously he is a good guy. Why would someone reject someone good?”

“Your confidence in my judgement is heartwarming,” Jacob put his hand over his heart and gave her a bow, accepting her compliment, then grinned and added, “I’ll tell him you said that.”

“As if he would care,” Violet rolled her eyes at Jacob.

“You never know,” Jacob shrugged.

“So you’re helping others like us, too.”

“Mateless, rejected, widowed… I don’t discriminate,” Jacob replied and after handing her a cup of coffee to her specifications continued, “They stay here until they’re back on their feet. Sometimes they choose to make my land their home. In fact, we have this group, where we talk about everything and anything. They say they come for the food and booze, but I know it is more than that. We meet every Friday at eight. You should come to the meeting. It’s quite uplifting.”

“Hearing others vent over their rejection, that would be interesting,” Violet said between sipping her coffee.

“So now that you’ve accepted and drank my coffee, we’re heading to my office…”

“To do some ‘paperwork’. How naughty, Alpha!” Violet teased him.

Jacob laughed out loud, “Violet, Violet, Violet. What am I going to do with you?”

“The sky is the limit,” Violet wiggled her eyebrows, making Jacob’s blush.

Violet smiled at the realization. That blush just did not happen.

He liked her.

Xander

The moment she stepped in his room, he knew something was up. When she finally told him what was bothering her, he was surprised. He had expected it but not so damn soon. A part of him felt betrayed. It was clear, she replaced him with Jacob. Though the saner part in him reminded him, he brought her here to heal, and her request was a step in the right direction, even if it hurt like hell.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry,” Violet proceeded to convince him, then finally jested, “Besides, if you are not here, I might hook up with Jacob.”

“Violet…”

“The bond is almost dissolved, honey, I am fine, you’d be fine. Enough with the charity case here,” Violet started and just as Xander was going to tell her she was never that to him, she proceeded to add, “It’s time for you to search for your own mate,”

“Or I can mark you, and we can stay here,” Xander told her the idea he had been entertaining for the last couple of days.

“And do this to someone else? No. I would never forgive myself if I stand between you and your fated. It’s bad enough she’ll be mad and give you hell for my mark,” Violet shook her head and smiled brightly at him, “I only hope your story has a happier ending than mine. If I can give you an advice, aim for the human love. Don’t rely on the mating pull to do everything for you.”

Xander proceeded to talk, but Violet shook her head, stopping him.

“I am forever grateful to you, but you need to go home. Please, don’t make me kick you all the way there.”

She had decided. Although a part of him felt relief and excitement at the prospect of finally looking for his Fated, Xander still felt obliged to ask, “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Violet replied, hugged him close. “You have a big heart.”

“You call me, if you need something,” Xander told her.

“Aye,” Violet replied.

“Here,” Xander gave her the credit card he had been using to pay for their expenses. “The pack has number of accounts, set on autopay. It’s my responsibility to go over the statements. Only I will know this card is being used by you. So for my peace of mind, use the card, so I know you’re okay. He won’t be able to trace you.”

“It’s not that I am in hiding. Karim knows exactly where I am, and doesn’t give a damn about it. That’s something I should work on,” Violet sarcasm shone through again. “Besides, you’re overestimating his interest in me.”

“I think you’re underestimating the power you have over him,” Xander replied.

“If I had any power, he wouldn’t have rejected me.”

“You’d be surprised,” Xander replied then bent down, gently pressing his lips on hers. “Bond or not, I always wanted to do that. You’re inspiring. I am sorry things didn’t work well with Karim. I am sure someone will snatch you right under his nose. When he finally comes to his senses it will be too late.”

“Yeah, right,” Violet rolled her eyes at his theatrics, patting his bulky arms.

If only she knew just how wrong she was, Xander sighed and started planning on the best way to track down his Fated.