What if
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Rachel POV
Friday is finally here. With much anticipation for the date that Derek has set for us, it loosen the burden of having to face Grace Hoffer. It's only one hour flight, a cup of coffee and some light snacks is all it takes to end the grimace. At most, I'll just stay at the galley and pretend I don't exist unless I'm needed.
The last time I saw Derek was that night. I'm not sure what time he left, I must sufficiently exhausted to have not noticed his departure. He left a note that morning and place it beside my bed with a bouquet of white roses, he wrote "Not sure what flowers you love, but hope you will love it anyway. D"
I texted him back that morning.
Any flower that is violet. The roses are lovely, thank you.
Since its a short haul flight, I'm the only flight stewardess today with two Captain on board. I have arrive early to prepare the refreshment and food for the trip.
Fifteen more minutes and I'll expect Derek and the First Lady to arrive. I have never been this nervous, my stomach is churning with acids arising from the uneasiness I am feeling now. I keep looking at the window to see if anybody has arrived.
None, except Captain Tony Linton and his co-pilot. I have travelled with Linton on several schedule, albeit his cool demeanor, he brought me all the way to the Human Resource office during my interview when I was lost. He seemed aloof, yet an occasional smile counteract his detached nature. And he is a Korean anyway, but I guess one of his parents isn't, thus his surname isn't Kim or Gong or Park. On a deeper observation, he resembles Daniel Henney, like the whole package of Daniel Henney prototype has been designed for him.
'Captain Linton.' I greeted him warmly, he nodded and proffered a smile and headed to the cockpit. I do a last minute check at the first aid equipment before reporting the checklist to the Captain.
'Is there anything I can get for both of you?' I entered the cockpit and handed the checklist to the co-pilot.
'I'll have an orange juice.' The co-pilot replied eagerly, like I will miss his order. Maybe, if he does that all the time, I will consider mixing his juice with God knows what I can find on the floor.
'Just water for me, Rachel.' Captain Linton looked at me briefly, as polite as ever, he nodded with a sign of gratitude. I was surprised that he remembers my name. Maybe he has a sharp memories, Captain usually has sharp memories, and he is Asian, or at least three quarter Asian genius genes.
'One moment.' Off, I went out to prepare their drinks before the guest arrive. My mood is still unstable, and it will never be until I meet the Guest of Honors. It might get worst than my PMS.
Joe and Allan came up the plane before Derek does, they nodded at me, still looking rather awkward. Of course, who wouldn't? The man, his wife and his mistress were all stranded in one plane. The only one who is innocent from the scandal is Grace.
Joe speaks to his earphone again, and they went down the airstair. Tony and his vice came out from the cockpit to welcome the President on board. I stood beside the seat, to prevent overcrowding in the entrance.
Tony exchanged glances with me but said nothing and he looked away. As soon as I saw Tony stretches his hand I knew Derek has arrive.
'Madam First Lady.' Tony said, shaking her hand. He didn't smile a lot, all it take was a few centimeters of stretch on his lips.
'Hello, Captain, we are very delighted to see you.' Grace's greeted. I haven't met her in person, but her voice is strong, expressive and charismatic. I was on the losing end, inferiority is taking over me soon. My mind portraying a scene whereby I'm knocked over by a garbage truck.
Here she comes, with her confident smile, which have taken over the hearts of many Americans. I have very straight teeth as well, managed to have it before I left home to be a homeless teenager, which I am surprise how I manage to survived.
I force a smile. I had to, there is no way I can pretend that I never saw her husband's naked body before. 'Ma'am.' I said, but my voice is especially soft today, higher possibility is that, the panic that is assaulting me has a rather heavy impact on my voice box. I have a voice than won over Derek Hoffer on the first flight I had with him, remember that?
'I haven't seen you before, what's your name?' In a friendly tone mixed with intrigue, she request for my name. I guess she will hate my name of whoever's name that is associated with R,A,C,H,E,L.
'Rachel, Rachel Woods at your service.' I almost curtsy at her, what the hell is wrong with me!
'Mr. President, we welcome you on board.' Tony said in his deep voice. My eyes flows to Derek, my body's unconscious way of seeking for help. I'm drowning with the complicated situation I'm facing.
Derek saw me, excelled with joker face, his expression remains constant. But our eyes locked into each other. His usual oceanic eyes become dark in the air plane.
'Can I have a glass of sparkling water, darling? I'm dying of thirst.' Grace said, while removing her scarf and handbag, which I took a quick peek unintentionally, it was filled with leather notebooks, a Gucci Wallet and other stuff that are too much to mention. Does the First Lady need to carry wallet around as well?
'Sure, of course.' I replied with a smile, a very forcing smile. 'Mr. President.' I nodded as he came forth, this time, his eyes soften. Tony and his co-pilot has went to the cockpit, probably he let down his guard for a little.
'Miss Woods.' A crooked smile greeted me, along with his undeniable jubilant that he intents to hide. My heart flutters even when Grace is right behind me. Oh God, it feels so out of moral values that was taught by Cosmopolitan. I grew up with that book as my guide to adulthood, I don't have a mother, nope, two mothers, which is a lot more than anyone would have, to teach me how to handle period pain, discomfort in sex and the symptoms of pregnancy.
'What can I get for you, Sir?' As usual, I tried to act professional, this feels like some adult movie where the couples are trying some role play to get each other excited. I have to slap that though away.
'Coffee, and digestive biscuits.' He moves past me, intentionally brush my butt while moving. I squirm a little, knowing his little flirting game.
Derek sat a few seat away from Grace, and his wife couldn't careless, they both had their iPad out and ignore each other. If Derek never lies to me, this is the real scenario of their marriage.
I remained at the galley, putting on my seatbelt until Tony announced its safe to unbuckle. Time to be busy, I kept staring at my watch to count how many minutes has passed.
I did a final look at the mirror, making sure my hair is not out of place, and my makeup doesn't makes me look like a professional home wrecker.
'Your sparkling water, Ma'am.' I left the tray on the desk where her Business Times magazine are placed. It's surprising that she wasn't reading Vogue or Cosmo. So, it's true again, that Grace is a pillar of strength for Derek's presidency. My inferiority surge up another level.
'Thanks.' Her focus is on her iPad when she speaks, looking rather busy, professionally busy.
'Coffee with digestive biscuits.' I present to Derek. I smile weakly at him and leave as soon as I can. I don't like the situation he is putting me through. Its making me sick, something weird is forming is my stomach.
Pulling the curtain of the galley shut, I sat down and take a deep breath. I shut my eyes for a moment until I heard the sound of footsteps approaching me.
It's Derek, his eyes is full of questions the moment we met. I stretch my neck, peered at Grace, she is still sitting there, unaware of what Derek is doing. I gestured for him to come inside the galley, which he did, I pull the curtain shut as soon as he stepped inside. If he wasn't the President, I might have suggested we do little wild activities that Mile High Clubbers does, since I'm going to hell anyway. Well, again, no, his reputation is all that matters. I don't want to be the second Monica Lewinsky. But the different is, Monica Lewinsky collects the sperm of Clinton's, which is what I don't understand, like she is waiting to expose it anytime.
'You look very pale, Rachel.' He stand close to me, both his hands on my arms, apprehension took over his face.
'I'm feeling nauseous.' I took a deep breath.
His face went blank for a while. 'Are you...' I can see his mouth is reaching for the word pregnant, but he hesitate to mention it.
'No, I'm not, Derek.' I shakes my head. 'But we really need to use protection next time.' I hissed while looking at Derek and watching Grace through the small gap. Derek's face seems to ease a little. I wouldn't blame him for having such reaction, I mean, I'm not even ready to take our relationship to another stage. One three occasions where we engaged in physical contact, condom was the last thing we had on our mind, he wasn't prepared for this and thought I would. Since my period ended, we take a leap of faith by using the withdrawal methods.
I know I am not pregnant, because pregnant is not as easy as "one shot and that's it".
He leaned in and kiss me. 'Do you need to take medicine?' He asked. His ocean eyes became crystal clear as the brightness of the galley reflects on him.
'I just don't feel comfortable in this situation, Derek. I guess I'll feel better when we arrive in New York.' It's true. In this confine space, I feel like I'm running out of air.
'I know.' He sigh, touching the back of my head, pining my forehead to his. Our nose brush against each other's. 'I shouldn't have let you go through this.' His tone is sad.
'You better go back, Derek, Grace might suspect.' I almost beg him.
'I've got something to show you.' His playful grin is still mixed with residues of his guilt. He move a step from me and lifted his pant. He was wearing the socks that I bought for him.
My eyes twinkle with contentment. 'I'm glad you like it.' I smiled.
'Are you sure you'll be alright?' He stroke my chin briefly and plant a soft peck on my lips. It sends shivers down my spine.
'You know how to perform CPR right?' I managed to make a joke, hoping the situation will be less intense.
'I'll carry you to the hospital if I have to.' He kiss me again, longer this time. I felt his urge, the desire to protect me from the world when he hugged me tighter.
I laugh and hinted for him to leave. I sat down at the chair inside the galley, massaging my forehead to ease my stress. This is not what I visualize my life back in fourteen years ago. I never thought I would work as a stewardess, let alone meeting the President and making love with him in the White House.
Yes, we made love, or maybe it is just me who thought that way. Sex satisfy your physical needs, but making love, it feeds your hungry soul. I love him, Derek, to the point where I want to join him in his socks collection, drinking coffee with digestive biscuits. But, God knows if he love me? The night where I gave him the socks, three words, eight letters has been rolling in my mind. There is just too many "what if". What if he still wants Grace, what if this is just a fling to him, what if this is just sex to him?
And when those "what if" turns out to be true, of course my heart will shatter into million pieces. But, at least, I won't be seen as pathetic because I didn't told him "I love you".
Shoutout to @Aliyahdream for your votes! Thank you!