You made that decision without me
â¢â¢â¢
Derek POV
I sat at the sofa crossing my leg, having a moment of idle thought. What if Rachel happens to be pregnant? I felt numbness took over me at the moment Rachel said nauseous. But, I know, the fact is, it won't benefit anyone of us. I'm not ready to take the role of a father, not until I marry Rachel, or at least, get my marriage status sorted out.
'Can we have a talk, Derek?' Grace's sharp voice caught me. 'It's about the lunch reservation.'
'I'll go by your plan, as long as the lunch will take only two hours of my time.' I replied dryly. My thoughts is very much on Rachel, wonder how she is coping behind the curtain.
Grace unbuckled her seatbelt, heading towards me. I look up at her, wondering what disagreement are we going to dispute about.
She brush the back of her skirt, and sat down in front of me.
'The re-election is coming, our PR game have to be strong, Derek.'
'What you're trying to say is?' I clasps my hands against one another, intrigued by her plans.
'Your American Sweetheart body image has always been one of the contribution to your fame in both inside and outside this country. Now, since social media is one of the best way to reach the younger generations, your focus has to include them. Photo bombing, crashing events, that's what celebrities does.'
Grace is a talented woman, crafty, yet. But her ideas has always been fresh and thoughts provoking. Few years back, when I was doing the campaign for my presidency, Grace made use of her infertility to gain supports of many female voters. Gavinski and I thought highly of her.
Back when we were dating, she was a public relation executive for J&D, and thus her specialty in handling mine. I fell right in love with her when she gave a speech during the time I pursue my master degree in Brown University. I determined to get her to fall for me, which she did. I shared my plans of becoming a politician, and who knows, she pushed me to have a higher dream; President. Grace succeed in that, she made me become one.
'Derek?' Grace called me, her expression is mildly irritated by my lack of participation in her plan.
'What about you?' I asked.
'About what?'
'Your plan for yourself. You use infertility to pass the bill of woman healthcare. What about this time?' I ask her with a dry tone. I never second guess Grace, for I know her too well. Eventually, she is going to make herself the first female President after me.
She went silent for a while, bitterness must be paralyzing her thoughts. 'Are we going to repeat what happened eight years ago?'Â She shook her head in disbelief.
I stop whatever topic with her after Rachel's sudden appearance. Grace looked up to where I was facing. There was a hint of awkwardness and stab of betrayal in Rachel's face, she simply nodded and collects the tray of coffee away from me. She left without saying anything.
I never plan for this. All I wanted was to bring Rachel to Long Island during our visit to New York, making up for all the discreetness she has to endure to be my mistress.
'I am not infertile, Derek,' Grace's voice is taut, her eyes gazing at the window. I can't pretend that no emotion is running through Grace, remorse is painted on her face.
I remained silent, for every console I am giving to Grace, it makes me feels like I am betraying Rachel.
'I wasn't infertile. I just doesn't want motherhood to stop me from everything, you know me very well that I never intend to have baby from the beginning!' Grace defends herself. She always will.
This topic never fails to be brought up every single time, as if, this is the only thing that could be discussed during our private conversation. 'You make me question love, Grace. To me, you had died since you made that move. What do you expect? Three weeks ago, I know I am going to be a dad, I had plan for where the cribs will be placed, when are we going to shop for baby's clothes and everything. And three weeks later, you shatter every thing by-' I can't even bring myself to say the word "remove". 'You made that decision without me.' I felt my heartbeat rising when anger surged in.
'Would you agree if I have ask you, Derek? Honestly? I will eventually do it, anyway. What difference does it make if I have asked you?' She argued, her eyes searching for my empathy even though she is equally rage as I. She folds her hand. 'Look, lets leave each other alone, we still need to smile for the cameras later.' She stood up, brushing her fringe away from her face and headed to where she was seated earlier.
As my eyes reached the curtain that separates the cabin from the galley, Rachel came into my thoughts. Those stare that she gave me, the hurt in her eyes, I need to find her. Just as I get ready to stand up, Linton announced that we are reaching our destination. With heavy heart, I sat, looking at the curtain, a mere thin piece of fabric that covers me from Rachel.