...my presence in her life was nothing but a misery...
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Derek POV
'Wanna know my opponents in the coming election?' I asked Rachel, who was seating in a fetal position near the fireplace, holding to a cup of hot chocolate, browsing her phone.
'Interesting, I'll get the first hand news? Although I'll prefer to peek at those documents you are reading in your iPad, you know, those that could land me in federal jail or something.' She shrugged and puts a playful grin.
'I can't guarantee your safety if you were caught doing so, girlfriend.'
'Fine, I'll seek refuge in Russia then.'
'Then I have the Navy SEAL to capture you back. Trust me, girlfriend, you are not getting far away from me.' I pretend to threaten her. But of course, part of it is true, I enjoy having Rachel inside my life now.
She notches her brow, 'you are abusing your power, Mr. President. Come to think of it, you've got something that belongs to me, I don't think that it's a crime to look at your own stuff.'
I narrowed my eyes, 'which one?'
'I don't believe that Gavinski never done any background check about me.' She crawl towards where I was seated, like a puppy asking for attention.
I had some withdrawal about her request, I'm not sure if she would be mad with all the information we had about her.
'Why are you hesitating?' Rachel stood up, took my folder away and sat straddle on top of me. 'Please?' With a girly voice and pleading gesture, she kind of swoon me over. I shake my head, she really knows how to buy her way out.
'You have to promise me-'
'Anything.' She says firmly and impatiently.
'You can't see other documents, I am serious.'
She nodded excitedly.
'You can't be angry with me afterwards.'
'O-, wait what?' She was taken aback. 'All the more I have to see it.'
'You are breaking the promise.' I held her close to me, looking up to her face since she is on top of me.
'How grave is your sin, Derek Hoffer?'
'It's a protocol.' I replied her, as a matter of fact.
'I demand to see it.'
'Okay.' I carries her and sits her on the sofa, reaching my hand to get my iPad from the table.
'You are pressing the password in front of me?' She asked, shocked by the fact that I made no discreet about unlocking the tablet.
'The password changes every week, plus you need my handprint to unlock it as well. It's a custom made iPad for the President.' I throw triumphant expression at her. 'Here you go.'
While she reach her hand for the tablet, she looks at me profusely, as if to make a double confirmation that I am not joking with her.
'Go on, before I change my mind.'
Slowly, she began to read, scrutinize would be the right word. I sat beside her to make sure that Rachel isn't reading other classified documents. Although it is unfair that Grace gets to read those, but rules are rules.
'You even had the name of the hospital where I was born?' She spat the words in a ridiculous manner.
I merely shrugged. That is how powerful the government agent is.
'I suppose you dig out all of this before I met my dad again? So, you know the inheritance before me? God, Derek, I'm suspecting you are a gold digger now.' She makes a playful remarks.
Guilt pricks me, but I refrained from letting Rachel know. Gavinski planned all this, his idea of having Brandon Woods as one of my donor. Biggest donor, actually.
She continues to read the rest of the document. 'I never know it would be so interesting to read your own information. Wait, you actually managed to find out my ex boyfriends as well? Seriously, I don't even know where Gerry is living now, you managed to dig that out as well? I am really getting afraid.' She shakes her head.
'Well, it is fair, everyone knows my birthday, my parents' name, my ancestry, my alma mater. Even my paycheck.' I stop at this part, there is no reason for me to mention about my personal life, it's going to remind her of Grace.
'You should update my current status as, in a progressive relationship with the POTUS.'
'Wanna hear the story about this part?' I asked her.
'What?'
'Gavinski managed to get your information when we are in Japan. I swear I was doubtful, but I put this info into good use. You are not seeing anybody, and for that, I called you that night, which you off the phone.'
'So, whatever I am doing, its considered immoral to you?' She throws me a sideway glance.
'You should be working for me, you and your intelligence in shutting people up is just commendable.'
She laugh. 'Well, you have her, why would you need me?'
The words she send instantly puts a shift in my mood. Honestly, I don't enjoy being trapped in between Grace and Rachel. The more Rachel made her point about her jealousy with Grace, the more upset I felt. My gratitude with Grace will forever be kept inside me, no matter how estranged we are right now.
Rachel knows she has touched a dash of my limit, she made no comment about Grace further, which I am thankful for.
'Tony Linton?' She perused the pictures where Grace showed me few months ago when the scandal of Long Island happened. 'Doesn't the White House knows anything about privacy?'
I made no comments about that because, if Rachel knows that Grace has a part in this, there goes our last night in Camp David.
'That's the price of honesty.' I shrugged. 'I warned you.'
'That's unfair, you should tell me about the girls you like in the past, be it a first crush, first love or stupid mistake.'
'Rachel? Are you sure? I'm afraid after tonight, you might assassinate me.'
'Of course I won't, Derek! You know how psycho I was in love with you, it bothers me all the time whenever you are away. I have this thought for us to go through a surgery and have our body sewn together.'
I feign intimidated, shifting myself away from Rachel to take a good look at her. 'Is that true? You scared me.'
She laugh.out.loud. Literally. She is laughing like how Julia Roberts is, the wide, loud and uncontrollable laughter.
'I didn't know how that came up my mind as well, maybe I was too crazy over you, boyfriend.'
'Never mind, at least something is certain.'
'What?'
'You are not going to leave me.' I said with pride, and that is the most promising plan I ever made.
For a moment, she said nothing. She just notched up a brow and nodded, a faint hint of sad smile drawn on her face. It's not the first time I ever saw this expression. Her words repeats in my mind again, I might leave you anytime...
'You still have doubts, about us?' My words were soft, almost uncovered the fact that fear was speaking up for me.
She took a deep breathe, her eyes looking away from me, as if her courage fails her. At least, the fact is that, we are both afraid of what is coming for us, the uncertainty, the dilemmas, and the doubts.
She took my hand and place it on her lap. 'I learnt the best way to deal with life is that, you can't expect too much. I love you, Derek, every moment right now, you cannot imagine how happy I was, which is pathetic, because we sounded like star crossed lover in the movie. Yet, whenever I get too happy, reality just strikes me hard, it makes me afraid of feeling happy.'
I listened to every word she said, the last part just hits me bad. I broke her heart, stole the basic happiness she owns, and my presence in her life was nothing but a misery.
The next thing I felt on the surface on my hand, was the cool dabs of moist dripping down her face. Rachel is crying, muffling her sadness while I was battling with myself internally.
My motor reflexes went stiff. I couldn't decide if I should touch her. I was her root of misery, the cause of her sorrow. I watched her tears washing down her cheeks and she tried to brush it off quickly.
Her muffled cries went into sobbing, her body is trembling. I have no heart to watch her weeping anymore.
I pulled her close, scooping her to my lap. She rest her head on my chest while I stroke her hair.
Sounds of her sobbing will forever be stored inside my mind. I'll never forget this moment where Rachel Woods isn't the sunshine girl I used to see. How long has she kept this to herself? How many nights has she go to bed without crying herself to sleep?
'If...' I managed to speak a word, the lump in my throat is causing difficulties for me to speak normally, 'if, you ever feel like leaving me, let me know, don't just walk away from me.' My voice were pleading, heavy and sad.
Rachel's sobbing cools down a little, she is listening to what I have said. Without saying anything, she just nodded.
She never protested. She made her point.
She made it a point that she might leave me. I regret suggesting that, but even if I didn't, she would still leave me if she made up her mind.