If only love was so easy
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âª- Make you feel my love/ Adele
Rachel POV
Its the third time I cried in this cabin. This wasn't the kind of memories I want to preserve with Derek for this trip, totally out of my plan, like a Ferrari jerking out of the main road due to speeding.
Last night, sleeping in the same bed with Derek felt different. The emptiness, the heaviness that weights in my chest could outweighs the power of caffeine. We never talk for the whole night. We toss around the bed with unending sigh, yet, being plagued with the same problem, nobody said anything. Knowing too well that only time can stale the uneasiness.
Perhaps, the separation dampened the mood. This morning, we are heading back to the capital. Derek suggests that I took the chopper with him, which I am so grateful for.
I don't want to go back alone, and cry halfway while Joe was driving.
While departing from the helipad, the buzzing crazy sound from the helicopter puts off my bad mood for a while as I have other things to concentrate on. I watch the ground from up above, it was a whole new experience. Maybe that's how Jasmine felt, when Aladin took her to ride his magic carpet.
'Thought you might like it.' Derek leaned closer to me, resting his chin on my shoulder and watch the scenery with me.
I turn sideway and rest my forehead on his. Hints of sadness still reflects on his face. Was I too harsh last night?
'Thank you.' I mouth at him.
He simply nodded and hold my waist, pressing our body close together. His Givenchy Homme waft to my senses, wakens every cell in my body.
'I wanted to have a female agent with me, what do you think?' He asked.
'Why?' There is two reason behind my question. First, why does he need a female secret agent with him. Second, why is he asking me?
'She'll be responsible for you. Plus, I can't sent you home, I'm not letting Joe and Alan have that privilege.'
I scoffed. 'Is that why?'
'Sort of.'
'No. I'm getting to feel more comfortable with Alan and Joe, and if you are going to put a new personnel who would give me that oh-that's-the-mistress look, you can just forget about it.'
He grin. It was infectious, because I am smiling at him as well.
'Is it okay if I read some documents?' He asked.
I nodded. Something is missing between us. We are being courteous to each other. In such situation, I would already be teasing Derek with any dirty thoughts I have in mind, suggesting any impossible quickie we could have right now.
The magnificent view of the grandeur White House was seen from my distance. The most eye catching monuments shall have a special place in my heart for the rest of my life. Even if I left Derek...
When the helicopter touched the ground, it simply implies that we are back to reality. It was a tremendous zero degrees cold, and the full blast of wind from the chopper makes it even worst. My hair was a pile of mess after stepping down the helicopter.
Joe walks beside me. Derek was in front of us, every few seconds, he would turn back to make sure I am alright.
My heart soften, glorified with joy by his gentle act. He is beyond perfect.
When we reached the main room, everything felt better, the hallway is warm. I remove my gloves and neaten my chaotic hair.
'Follow me.' Derek whispers at my ear.
It took me a moment to respond, my mind was having some adulterated thoughts when he said that, it felt like an initiation for, well, sex.
I never step on the ground floor of the the White House, thus, I had to depend on Derek to guide me.
I can't deny the fact that I feel like a criminal here, while Derek behaved so naturally around his resident. I place my hand deep inside my coat pocket. I only realized I was slouching when Derek place his hand on my back.
'Come on.' He gesture for me to enter the lift.
'This is packed with cameras?' I hinted at the lift.
'Yup.'
We were both standing far from each other.
'Don't they question who's that girl the President brings in and out of his room?' I smirk, my hand were gripping the fabric inside my pocket.
'They are not suppose to disclose anything related to the personal life of the President.' He answered with deep voice. 'Come on.' He took my hand and guided me out of the lift.
'What are we doing here?' I asked.
Derek never replied me, instead, we were heading straight back to his room.
If it wasn't for the incident that happens last night, I would have started the dirty conversation. Right now, it seems like Derek wasn't in the mood for dirty talk as well.
'Have you gave a thought about moving here?' He shuts the door. Suddenly, the situation turns solemn.
I went dumbfounded. Clearly, I was stiffed. 'No.' I answered skeptically. 'How can I-'
'I can make the arrangement.' Derek began to sound persistent.
'Is this about last night?' I asked softly.
The crown between his brow form a deep V, his chin is taut. 'If you live here, we can see each other more.'
It doesn't take me long to realized something . He is begging me.
Every muscle of my body felt weak. I sensed his fear. Here he is, showing his vulnerability, his raw emotion. I hate that I was the one who does that to him. I hate that the charismatic man I love so much would resorted to beg me.
'Derek?' I stroke his cheek with both my hand. 'Look at me, please?'
Reluctantly, he icy blue orbs glance at mine.
'Don't let me happened to you.' I begged him. 'I won't allowed that. The White House isn't where I want to be, it would only jeopardize your career. How are these people going to judge you?'
He shut his eyes tight, he wants to fight my stubbornness, yet those words I said makes senses to him.
'Is this all about Grace?' When Derek opens his eyes again, his emotion was a pure torment. It smashes my heart, at that very moment. 'What will it take for you to understand that it's not over between us? I need you, Rachel, don't you get it?'
I let got of his face. My lips trembled. I don't want to cry anymore, but those tears in my eyes are dripping down my chin. 'I don't know, Derek. I don't know if I can wait that long for you, for us.'
He hugged me from behind, wrapping himself all over me. 'What should I do, Rachel?' He whispered at my ear.
I took his hand where he place at my shoulder, resting my cheek at his arm. 'I don't know, Derek?' I shake my head.
If only love was so easy.
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Things really didn't end up well with Derek and I. Ultimately, Joe had to send me home while I sob in the car. He was kind enough to pass me a pack of tissues, but I ended up weeping even louder.
I can't imagine how ugly I must have look.
Sarah finally leads a normal life. She found a job at the mall as a sale assistant for luxury watch. I get to have the whole house for myself when her conscience decides to practice basic morality. Sarah found a place to stay, few blocks from her parents house.
Eventually, her parents learned about her break up with the self-proclaim Prince Afu. They were grateful that I knocked some senses to their daughter's brain.
I made myself a cup of sweet tea. Sugar makes me happy, and to hell with diabetes. I'm going to do whatever makes me happy today.
I have a work schedule starting tomorrow and it will be a short haul flight to Chicago and back again in the evening.
Derek is back to work after a week off from his Oval office. He never literally had day off. For the whole seven days I stayed with him, he was on the phone, and folders never leaves his hand. Unless, sex, was on the agenda.
The silent in the house is killing me. I decided to do groceries shopping, and I realized the condom are running out. Ever since Sarah crashes at my place, it's been a long time since I replenish the baby-prevention-rubber.
Christmas paraphernalia filled the entire space of Target, winter songs played throughout the speaker. Almost every Christmas playlist is my favorite, you don't get to hear those during the last three seasons.
'Rachel?' A familiar voice calls for me. I was delighted, anyhow, to find a human to talk with, even if the person is trying to sell me hemorrhoids cream, I'm totally fine with that.
'Tony? Hey!' I waved at him. I remember seeing his picture yesterday, and here I am feeling guilty that his privacy was being intruded.
And at the same time, I am wondering if any secret service agent is watching me.
I pushed the trolley towards him. 'I haven't seen you for a while.' I asked. 'How is your mother?'
He was actually surprised that I remembered his mother's condition. 'It was a tumor, but it was benign. She had a surgery last months, recovering pretty well.' He sounds positive.
'That's great! Send my regards to her, will you?'
'Thanks.' He puts a thumbs up. The cool demeanor Tony Linton was smiling genuinely. 'What are you getting?' Tony's eyes trail down to my trolley.
Everything seems to move in slow motion, when I realized the condoms was laying on the surface of my items...
Jesus Christ.
My cheeks were flushing red.
'Oh, wow.' He just stood there awkwardly for five seconds. He tries to open his mouth but he closes again.
'Well, uhm-.'
'You don't have to explain.' Tony reassure me, but he can't pull his eyes away from those boxes of condoms. I'm not going to blame him because, anybody, including me, would be shock to see ten boxes of condom laying around a woman's trolley. They might have a little insight about what my job would be.
'I swear it was on sale.' Despite my embarrassment and stammering, I had to explain.
'No worries, Rachel. I totally understand.' Tony tried to hide his laugh, which he fails.
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I tried to avoid talking to anyone, including Tony who was besides me at the self-service cashier, which is obviously made to avoid awkwardness for some customer who is buying sensitive stuff such as condoms. Even the old grandpa was eyeing at my stuff, he even push his glasses nearer to his eyes to have a good look.
I shoved all the boxes inside my recycle bag.
'Do you need a lift home? I've called for an Uber to pick me.' Tony asked me while I was already a few steps away from the market.
How could he act so natural after witnessing my embarrassing moment? I was a little miffed, with myself actually. I can blame no one at all.
'I can actually walk home.' I told him while avoiding his glance.
'It's snowing, and cold, of course.' We both stand at the exit. 'And my uber driver abandoned me, snowstorm.' He reads the message from his phone.
I stare at the uncooperative weather. It wasn't just snowing. It's a hell of a snowstorm out there.
'Lovely weather, huh?' Tony playfully grin at me. It was the first time I witness his other nature.
I trudge all the way inside the market again. It's already three in the afternoon, I wonder how long is the snowstorm going to last.
'Do you want to get some coffee?'
I shrugged. 'I guess.'
Tony took the initiative to queue for the coffee and even offered to pay for it when I took my wallet out.
'I remember you don't have sweet tooth, I bought you Shephard's pie.' Tony placed the tray on the table. He tear the pack of sugar and pour it on his coffee.
'I don't have sweet tooth, but I baked a lot of sweet stuff.' I initiate the conversation.
'For your boyfriend.' He said in as-a-matter-of-fact tone, instead of phrasing it like a question.
I nodded and blow the vapor away from my coffee.
'I have a flight to Chicago tomorrow.' He said.
'I didn't see your name in the schedule?'
'Last minute, Joel back out.' He took a bite of bagel. 'And, of course, I saw your name on the schedule.'
I gave him a good glance when he mentions that.
'Kidding! Why so serious?' He burst out laughing.
'You know, sometimes you are so different, I couldn't figure which one are you, Tony A or Tony B?' I felt frustrated.
'Describe Tony A.' He prop his hand on the table, clasping one another.
'Well,' I try to gather all the sequences of meetings we had, 'when I met you at the plane where we were flying with POTUS and FLOTUS to New York, you were aloof, you don't even break into friendly smile like now.'
'Okay, I can explain that. When I am at work, I give all my attention, that is the responsibility of a Captain, I am responsible for the life of my passengers. Satisfied?'
'Okay, Tony B? Which is right now, annoying and annoying, I can't find another word.' I chuckles.
'There are so many adjective to choose from, like, maybe, charming, cute or bewitching.' He leaned back to his chair, crossing his leg. 'You know, Rachel, I shouldn't be here sitting with you.'
'Why?' I said softly. Part of me knows what he is trying to imply, but I wouldn't want to say it out myself.
'Never mind.' He let out a bitter smile and turn to face the window. A pile of white exhibit at the floor to ceiling window of the coffee shop. Snow scatter down like the the image of a snow globe.
It was mesmerizingly beautiful, how I wish Derek was here to appreciate the view. But of course, the White House balcony offers better scenery. I saw the Christmas tree shimmering at the centre of the main voyeur, and Grace is suppose to host a visit by a group of kids, it's a White House tradition.
How did I know it? I have been following news of the Hoffers every year since he got into the office. Come to think of it, it was hard to detect that they were pretending to be happily married. The way they pose in front of the camera just look so natural.
'What if the snowstorm last till tomorrow? Will the flight be canceled?' I turn to him, after all, he is the captain, he knows better than me.
'I wouldn't worry about the flight, I would be more worried if we are going to be stuck here for the whole night.' Tony stretches his neck, we have been sitting for an hour, and it is still not safe for us to leave.
Maybe, Derek could do something about it. If I am the First Lady, help would come naturally by the secret service agent or maybe the military, I don't know. The mistress doesn't get special privileges because the taxpayers money is not budgeted on me.
I decide to send a message to Derek anyway.
Rachel: I'm kind of stuck in the middle of snowstorm.
I hit send and wait for his reply.
Which I won't expect him to reply soon because on the live session of the CNN news, here I see the person I voted and his wife, taking photos with the kids in the White House under the glamorous Christmas Tree.
An indescribable bitterness struck my heart. Grace standing there beside her husband, hanging her hand over his arm, standing really intimate next to each other. Those words that Grace warns me repeatedly ringing in my ear now; you going to see us getting more intimate...
She wore a grey tweet jacket with the crystal brooch she always wear for most occasions. She adjusted Derek's tie and Derek jokes in front of the cameras, 'my personal dresser.' Grace burst out laughing.
I wonder if its the acidic that is erupting in my stomach after watching them behaving so pretentious in front of the public, I felt uncomfortable. Politics is a dark game.
I look at my phone again to realize that the message I have sent, the help which I obtain was all redundant. Derek couldn't save me all the time, the time when I needed him.
'How are you spending Christmas?' Tony's voice brought me back.
'White House.' I answered firmly. I made my decision somehow.
'I'm sorry?' Tony was in a state of puzzlement.
It's time for me to claim my rightful throne. I'm going to show up in the Christmas Ball, mark my territory.
'I was invited, along with my dad by the White House.'
'Rachel Woods? Seriously?' Tony was smiling widely, like he was waiting for me to say "gotcha!"
'Brandon Woods, does that sound familiar? I could show you my birth certificate, but it's placed inside the safe box of my dad's study.'
'Brandon Woods is your father?' Tony sounded uncertain. 'Shouldn't you be working in the same field as your father now?'
'Nope, I wasn't interested in his business anyway, plus I am financially independent.' I managed to sound proud of myself, but secretly, I was boasting my wealth to Derek all the time.
'No offense, but in Korea, the children usually take over the family business. And that is how they spend the rest of their life, uplifting the legacy of their family.'
'The way you sound it, makes it looks like a sacrifice more than a fulfilling career.' I commented.
'Because I was thinking, what if my family sells Kimchi, and I'll have to bear the stench of garlic everyday, and girls won't even want to stand near me.' He palms his face with a hopeless expression.
I chuckles.
'Rachel.' This is the second time I heard my name being called today. And it wasn't familiar, maybe I've heard it before but the tone is just different, he sounded tense.
Tony and I both turn back in response for the voice.
He was large, tall and well built, wearing a thick winter black coat that was covered with patches of snowflakes, of course, he was tremendously messy. Did I ever mention that Joe was bald?
'I came to take you home, Rachel.' Joe pronounced my name in a way that makes it sounds like Rachel was the hardest word to pronounce in the whole world. His expression was an utter stiff, like he was suffering some sort of physical pain in his groin and he he refuse to admit it. That's how Joe look, most of the time.
I could really understand him, because all the while, I was being called Tores by him. Plus, there is absolutely no way for him and I to behave like acquaintance.
'He is your boyfriend?' Tony notches up his brow, the disbelief in his face was beyond words. He looks like he is stepping back from me, and puts on hold of whatever feelings he had towards me.
'This.is.Joe.' I said in a systematic manner. I haven't had time to make up a story on how I was related to a hulky guy like Joe.
'Of course, we met a few times on the plane.' Tony cleared his throat.
'Rachel? Shall we leave now?' Joe asked again in a very stiff way. I mean, let's just say Joe is behaving like a forty-years-old virgin who had no idea about the concept of dating, the way he speak to me was like a vampire struggling to keep himself away from the sunlight that is only a few inches away from him, because any minute, he would be burn. I wanted to laugh but, nope, I can't.
'Do you need a lift home?' It was my turn to ask Tony, which was funny, because he initiates that question earlier on.
My peripheral view shows me that Joe was uncertain about my suggestion, he turned to me swiftly, as if he was caught in an unexpected situation.
Tony gawked at the window again, taking a short observation at the weather outside. He looks at his watch, which is already evening, he needs to get home no matter what, or else, we will be spending the whole night here.
'We have to leave soon, I can't park the helicopter for long.' Joe finally urge for us to make a move.
'Helicopter?' I was stumbled. How is Tony not going to suspect anything? I mean if Joe drive a dozer here, it makes sense.
'Come on, what are you waiting for?' I gesture for Tony to follow Joe. He agreed, finally, and took his bag.
We haste towards the gigantic chopper parking at the center of the parking lot. The snow was thick, and it really slows down our speed because every step I made, my feet was buried deep inside the snow which reach the height of my ankle.
Joe took no second wasted, as soon as we reach the vehicle, Joe activates the machine and mutters something I can't fathom into his earphone.
Tony sat beside me, I wonder what was running inside his mind. Maybe he is still in a stage of shock. My boyfriend, is a hulky bad-ass secret agent of the President, my dad is one of the techno mogul, and here I am, having the ability to use a government owned chopper like my personal vehicle.
I get lost in the midst of traveling up above. A few hours ago, I was sulking. Who wouldn't? And who might have thought, Derek came to rescue me, by sending his personal knight in black coat.
Like a flower blooming after a long winter, Derek was the best thing that happened today. No matter how ugly the situation gets this morning, him coming to my rescue buries all the desolation.