Derek's POV
It wasn't actually a recent discovery anyway, but there is evidence to conclude the result regarding how men and women go through a break up.
The bad news is that men took longer time to recover and struggle over a break up.
I can't look at Rachel in her eyes when I left her house. I was dying inside, hyperventilating, the lump in my throat were stuck there like forever. The thought of Rachel leaving me is equivalent to the
death of all good things. Even when I win the Second term of my presidency, it won't mean a lot to me without her.
I sat in the limo, staring at the street. I have five minutes to compose myself, to bury the hurt, to hide the emotion that I am going to throw up. When I am back to the White House, all the depressions has to set aside. I needed to focus.
'We have secured the votes in Illinois-'
'Let's talk about the important point we need to emphasize about the current technology-'
'We should have brought up the topic about high school education-'
The meetings covered the whole day and tomorrow, we would be flying to New York for the first Presidential debate.
When I open my drawer, a flash of pain struck in my chest to see the socks that Rachel gave me. I took out the superman socks, which is my favorite among every other socks she gave me. She told me I was her superman, and we jokes about Gavinski being the evil General Zod.
I used to be her Superman. And I fail to protect her. Pacing backwards until I reached the armchair, I sat down, palming both my hand to my cheeks.
What am I going to do without her? I wanted to pick up my phone and call her. It's tremendously tempting. I breath hard, to ease the pain in my chest. It literally hurts, the scar is still fresh and bleeding. We are suppose to be washing the plates and walks the dog together in the foreseeable future, now, it's all gone.
'Hey.' Grace greeted, followed by knocks on the door.
I clenched my eyes tight, I didn't want any visitors but I try to hear what she has to say.
'You were not really yourself today, is everything okay?' Grace spoke with concern. It has been too long since I heard this tone from her.
'I guess...' I paused for a while.
'So, have you met her?' Grace is still standing by the door. When she said the word "her", she mentioned it softly.
I stood up, heads facing the floor, strolled towards her slowly. 'I guess Rachel and I choose to go separate ways.' I placed my hands inside my pocket and stood in front of Grace.
She was stoned for a moment. I glanced at her face, ambiguous as to what reaction she might have. Her eyes widen, nothing came out from her lips even when she tried to open her mouth.
'It's awkward to reveal this kind of things with you,' my voice is depressing, 'after all, we are still married.'
Grace folded her arms, 'I cannot think what to say either.' She seems considerate towards my gloomy feelings now. 'Have you taken your dinner by the way?'
I shake my head, food is not my main interest right now, my body is going through Rachel-withdrawal syndromes.
'Okay.' Grace understood. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' She simply said, and off she peel herself away from the doorframe and move away from my sight.
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Rachel POV
Many years ago, every time I went through a break up, I told myself boys are stupid, I am smart enough to let go of them. Whenever that happens, I would set my perspective straight, and the famous 'YOLO' would showed up in my mind, eventually, I would tell my friends that I am going to join the Red Cross Society and help the unfortunate like holy Mother Theresa.
'Okay.' Sarah replied monotonously when I told her the same thing all over again. 'So I was saying, which charity are you going to fulfill you humanitarian mission again?'
'I'm not joking.' I told her, spreading the salted butter all over my toast. I thought I would do better with Sarah around the house so she would distract me from taking the phone and dial Derek's number, but I realized I was so wrong when she finished the whole bottle of orange juice I just bought yesterday.
'That's what you said all the time.' She tries to reason with me.
'I know, which is why this time I am dead serious.' I shrugged, taking the plates to my living room and sat on the sofa. I haven't on the television nor my social media news feed for ages, for obvious reason, obviously.
'Rachel, you are being so secretive, you just had a miscarriage and where is your secret little boyfriend?' Sarah follows me to where I am and attempted to steal my sandwich. I spanked her hand.
'Go make your own sandwiches!' I warned her.
'You haven't answer me, Rachel.'
I decided to buy my time by focusing on eating my sandwich, but Sarah isn't giving up just yet.
'We broke up.' I answered simply, however, thousands of needles are pricking in my heart, I'm basically a zombie inside fighting to stay alive on the outside.
'He left you when you lost your baby? What a bastard!' Sarah seems ferocious. She showed the outmost disgusted face when she spatted the word 'bastard'.
'Technically, I left him.' I cleared my throat, I felt my throat stricken, attempting to stop myself from weeping again.
'What? Why? I mean, did you see the problem now? You won't tell me the whole story and I can't get to judge who is right or wrong.'
'There is no right or wrong, we just thought this is the best for both of us.' I replied softly, too tired to put up strong faces anymore.
'That's it? This is the end? You really won't tell me further details about it? I don't understand, Rachel? Why is it so hard for you to tell me about the man who got you pregnant?' Sarah couldn't accept it, I can tell from the way she frown, the baffled face she shows and she sounded really upset.
'Oh God, Sarah, I just...I don't wanna talk about it anymore, please?' I placed the plate away from me, took a pillow and place it over to my chest and hug it.
'I just don't get it, Rachel? Why are you trying to protect this man so much? Unless you are hooking up with a married man?'
'Yes! I am. Are you happy now?' For a brief moment, I spontaneously answered her question, and I regretted it tremendously right afterwards.
'What?' She looks astonished. 'Are you serious?'
'No, Sarah, I wasn't, you need to have your ears checked.'
'What were you thinking?' She admonishes.
'I ask myself all the time.' Strangely, I felt relieved for releasing this minor detail to Sarah. I need to breathe, when I am holding on to too much secret, I felt suffocated.
'Does his wife knows?'
'Yup.' I nodded, remembering all the encounters I had with Grace and how much I suspected that she might attempt to assassinate me, I can't help, I've watched too much Game of Thrones, the red wedding, in particular.
'This is too much to process.' Her face was blanked and she is rubbing her forehead.
'So, I am a home wrecker.' I shrugged. 'But things isn't as shallow as you thought, there was something real no matter how immoral our relationship is. So, don't speak ill of the man I love. I forbade you.'
'When I got divorce with Afu, you were badmouthing him all the time.' Sarah protested.
'You agree with me, you would have stop me if you think I was wrong.'
She rolled her eyes and look right back at me again. 'This is utterly shocking. Rachel Woods, you surprised me.'
'You're welcome.' I peered at her a little so she get to see the sarcastic face and I am making. 'And so, I was saying, I am going to join the Red Cross society, those Doctors Without Borders stuff?'
'Those are two different organizations.' Sarah pointed out.
'Huh. I see. But first I have to quit my job.'
'You know you are one lucky woman to be flying with the President.' She specifies.
'I know.' This time, I am watching closely to what my mouth is going to reveal. I can never let anybody out there knows that Derek is having an affair. 'Well, all good things must come to an end.' I shrugged, took my plate and headed to the kitchen, I am still recovering from post-Derek.
'Oh look, it's Derek Hoffer in the tv.' Sarah sounded exuberant. Whereas me, I am contemplating if I wanted to take a look at his condition right now.
I did, anyway. Guilt has been pricking on me, I should have waited for his campaign to finish before proposing a break up.
In the midst of my wrenched heart, the moment I saw Derek's face in the screen, my heartbeat elevated, bursting all colors of rainbow, it's like a heavy torrential rain after a whole months of droughts. Every single time I saw his face again, there is this uneasy feelings that I made a stupid mistake of letting him go.
Knowing that he is able to perform well in his debate, it eases my conscience. Derek's ambitiousness made him strong even when going through a difficult period. He was able to make a joke or two, leaving his opponent awkward. I remember why I fall for him in the first place, and how obsessed I was with his news since four years ago. Dreams do come true, although it's bizarre.
I took my phone in the midst of watching the debate, searching Google for any further details I can learn about Doctors Without Borders, once I compile all the information I need, the next thing I'm going to do would be booking the air ticket.