Song: Don't You Remember, Adele
December 2017
Days, weeks, months has past violently without any hints that half a year is gone.
Rachel dance through every season, transforming her wardrobe when the weather changes. She has never been happier, clearing her wardrobe feels like an amusement instead of chores. She cleanse every corner of the drawer, sprays disinfectant and finally, a pile of neatly folded clothes would be place inside her personal mall. Taking one last appreciation glance at her wardrobe, she close the door, leaving with a cheery mood. Perhaps that's how she passes her time when Derek wasn't with her.
She tries all sort of way to distract herself, but Derek never shifted away from her. She could never get used to it, guess that's what loving a person does to you. The more you try to bounce away, the more it sprung back to you.
When it's about time, Rachel flew back to the Capital, using the privilege that she was born with, her dad's Private jet.
It's the most wonderful time of the year, snows covering the pavements, and the snowflakes floating down from the sky like linens.
Touching down at Ronald Reagan, Rachel felt all the familiarity swimming back to her, like a dead forrest coming back alive after the curse has been broken, flowers blooms, water flows, even the birds were singing up in the tree. Airport has always been part of her life, she had stepped on this floor for more than a hundred times during the period where she was working as a flight attendant for South West Airlines. The elegant scent of the surrounding lit up her mood, Christmas paraphernalia filled her eyes everywhere she went. She remembered her happiest moment in her childhood always involved this period of the year, and the term dirty Santa only refers to a literally dirty Santa Claus, and not the term they abused it for something adulterated.
'Rachel Woods!'
From far away, the familiar voice squealed and Rachel starts to freak out.
'I've been waiting so long, you came!' Sarah jumped when she saw Rachel from the glass, she was hyperventilated from meeting her best friend. Sarah never prepared a cardboard that writes Rachel Woods on it, and that's what Rachel is grateful about.
'Wow! Look at you!' Rachel gawked at Sarah, it was another transformation in her physical.
'They sure as hell need to show results, I mean, I paid them half of my salary for their products.' Sarah tug her hands to her waist, flaunting her slimmer figure.
'Not bad,' Rachel nodded approvingly, 'but I'm pretty sure Albert loves you beyond physical, I mean, people who never leave you at your worst...' Rachel shrugged, simpering a sly smile of mischievousness as she teased Sarah.
'Well, Albert,' Sarah rolled her eyes dreamily, 'did I told you before that it was me who proposed?'
'Why am I not surprised? But, seriously?'
'Yeah! This is a whole new centuries, why shouldn't woman take the initiative to ask for his hand? I mean, ultimately, if he loves you, he would say yes, and vice versa, we don't have to make things more complicated than it already is.'
'Sounds logical.' Rachel pouted her lips and nodded consentingly.
They walked towards the pick up area, and what stops in front of them was a black SUV. The window rolled down, both the front and back seat. Waving towards them was none other than her D.C squads.
'Surprised! You wouldn't believe how excited they were when I told them you'll be back today.'
'Hop in! You're not expecting your chauffeur aren't you?' Tony Lington invited her, he was as charming as usual.
Rachel was overwhelmed to see them, it's been so long. 'Where are you guys taking me to?' She entered the car, feeling cozy as the warm air hits her, sheltering from the cold breeze outside.
'Your apartment, of course.' Dolores answered, 'see the back? That's the food and drink we bought, all from the courtesy of Base Andrews.' She pointed the food with her thumb.
Rachel stare in half amaze and half appalled. 'Are we going to jail for this?'
'So be it.' Corbin shrugged. 'We just came back from China with the President, you wouldn't wanna miss the roasted pork.'
'Count me out, I'm only taking the veggies.' Sarah gestured a no sign as she wave her hand.
'The wedding is tomorrow, your diet should ends today.' Tony peered at Sarah briefly through the front mirror.
'You can't change my mind, I won't take any risk.' Sarah was affirmative.
'So, seriously, Dolores is going to be the bridesmaid as well?' Rachel makes another clarification that what she read from Sarah's text was true, that Dolores volunteered to be her bridesmaid.
'You've got any problem with that?' Dolores starts her bitchy mode, but it didn't push Rachel away, instead, she's missing those time where they work together, inside the Air Force One.
'Well, I was thinking if we should check with Guiness World record about the oldest bridesmaid, who knows?' Corbin shrugged.
'Exactly, that's what I'm talking about.' Rachel continues.
'Well, you guys better not spoil her wedding days, Sarah has taken extra-large mile to plan this Snow-White theme wedding.' Chips in Tony.
'We have an evil step mother ready here.' Rachel hinted at Dolores.
'That's what I told Sarah,' Dolores turns to her left and look at Sarah.
'Really? Like you're going to wear a crooked nose and black cloak to scare off my guest and the pastor?' Sarah rolled her eyes, while typing on her phone.
Rachel allows them to mingle among themselves, while she looks out the window, filling herself with the magnificent view of the capital. The last time she was here in this highway, her heart was piercing, leaving Derek might be the toughest decision she made, and the pain is still felt over the time, like a wound that leaves a trauma.
Tony drives swiftly and they finally reached Rachel's apartment. She opens the door, gawking upwards to the eighth floor, her windows are dark. Derek confessed that he had been here every few weeks when he needed some place to go for a quieter moment. This place serve him good.
'Let me give you a hand.' Tony offered to carry her luggage, a grande Louis Vuitton Canvas.
'So, how are you doing?' Rachel starts a chat. She just wanted to know if he is having a relationship or not.
'Pretty much the same, my life is a bore, Rachel, you don't wanna know, apart from flying for the President, I don't think there is anything that interest you.' As usual, his cheeky approach with her remains constant.
'Well, I see changes in your appearance.'
'Wow, I thought my beard wasn't obvious.' He feigned a surprised look.
'My eyes must be joking with me.' She pursed a wide smile, playing along with him.
'Come on, you two stop flirting, we need to eat.' Corbin shouted from the lobby as Tony and Rachel stood at the pavement outside the building.
'Flirting is overrated.' Tony scratch his hair, like he wasn't sure of what to expect with Corbin's comment.
They all went up with the lift, Rachel steps out of the box first, pacing up to the door, scenting the familiar waft of air she breathe all the time when she lived here. The misty wooden smell, the copper lights flashing from the ceiling, she is back.
She pressed her thump to the door lock, a 'bing' sound was made as the door approves her. She was amazed that even after a year, the digital door locks have no problem recognizing her.
For some creepy reason, Rachel misses this door lock, it held something significant to her and Derek, it is something that belongs to both of them.
'I always have this feeling where we are entering the world of Matrix as I crossed this door.' Corbin admire her door lock, like it was his first trip to Disneyland.
Rachel felt a pinch of heart break as she reaches her apartment. Derek has protected their home well, it doesn't looked abandoned. Many memories of them were capture here, all the happy, sad, angry and the hot ones.
'They look spotless, does your furniture auto-clean itself? Did your dad invented something we doesn't know?' Corbin started to act like some country bumpkin.
Rachel sniggers and rolled her eyes. 'Yes, I could literally control this house from Seattle.' Rachel left them and head to her room as she brought her phone along. Feeling lost for a while, she shut the door, she needed a moment for herself as memories flushes back. The scent of her Daisy perfume still lingers here. Every piece of furniture signifies something, her vanity desk shows her confidence every time she steps out of her house, her drawer kept the t-shirt that she bought for Derek in case he spend the night with her. And the bed...she smiled at the dirty thoughts she is having. Right after that, she texted Derek.
Rachel:
You've kept the house well, what present would you love to have for your birthday?
She locked her phone, headed out to join them before they attempt to damage her kitchen.
'You better have something to eat, before you decide to change your wedding theme to "Hunger Game", Sarah.' Dolores advise her, only in a non-compassionate way.
'I'm sure I can take it, carrots has vitamin A to sustain healthy skin and eyes.' Sarah stand strong to her territory.
'Somebody talk her out of it.' Dolores raise her hand in gesture of surrender.
'What time is your wedding tomorrow?' Rachel asked. 'Do I need to be practicing how to walk down the aisle?'
'Oh, you shouldn't be worried about that,' Sarah throws a hand, 'be worried about your dress, I hope it fits.'
Rachel nodded, if she can't fit for any reason, she has her own Versace gown secretly as her back up plan, the same color as the one Sarah picked for them, maroon. Rachel had a hunch that she cannot trust Sarah too much, simply because she knew her for too long.
Derek:
You. You. You. All I want for Christmas is you. D.C misses you, and my bed misses you...
Rachel read her text, muffling her blushing smile, she felt like falling hopelessly in love all over again. She finally convinced herself that separation is good.
Nobody is having any alcoholic drink tonight, Sarah banned them, in case they got wasted somehow and decide to ruin her wedding.
Albert was younger than Sarah, who is working as an engineer in NASA, the story of how they met, as told by Sarah was that, in the supermarket one day, he was looking for a good shaving cream, and Sarah happens to have one on her basket. She offered him and that's how their story unfold.
'I told him that male and female shaving cream works the same, it's only the packaging that makes the different.' Sarah recalled how they started, all over again, it's the fifth time. 'And he ask if we could share the bottle of shaving cream as a way of asking me to be his girlfriend.'
Rachel sighed and props her elbow to the table. She wishes her story with Derek was that simple.
'Well, my ex husband and I met at a donut shop, and he gave me a box of it because his current girlfriend just broke up with him, I couldn't reject him, he looks so sad.' Dolores recalls her own story nonchalantly.
'And why did you divorce with him?' Asked Rachel.
'Let's just say the donut magic doesn't works anymore. The tooth fairy decides that he eats too much donut and had to have his whole teeth removed.'
'Is that why you left him?' Sarah stare at her, appalled.
'I may look evil, Sarah, but no. After removing his teeth, he doesn't bothers to clean his dentures. God, I can't go to sleep with a man who doesn't care about him dental hygiene.' Dolores shrugged, like it wasn't something new to her, those are water under the bridge.
'Okay...' Rachel glance blankly at Dolores.
At least, the best part of this squad was that, they bothers to clean up her house before leaving. They decide to call it a day or night before ten since Sarah needed her beauty sleep, and Tony Lington is responsible for sending her safely home.
â*â*â
'You look beautiful, Sarah!' Rachel arranged her dress, spread it so others can admire how beautiful her ornamented train of the gown looks like. Sarah has always admire how long Princess Diana's gown was and she set to have hers long as well. Rachel practically had to shout so Sarah can hear her, she stood at the end of the gown, which is why she needs to increase her volume so her message can get across.
'Rachel?' Sarah shouted as well. 'Please tell me this time I am not fucked up.' Sarah's voice was shaky, she is scrunching her hands.
'Hey, hey, what are you talking about?' Rachel rushes to her, looking at how panic Sarah is.
'I mean,' Sarah took a deep breathe to control herself. 'I mean, Afu was a mistake, that's no deny, but is Albert a mistake?' Sarah starts to question her wedding and she is genuinely seeking Rachel for assurance.
'Look at me, Sarah, look at me.' Rachel took her hands, grab it tightly so she will focus on her. 'I made mistake too, Sarah. But I think it was a beautiful mistake. Don't be afraid of stepping on the wrong path, Sarah, nobody knows what is right or wrong. I was involved with a married man, that is so, so bloody wrong in any way, but I love him. You love Albert, and people who are in love gets married.'
'The first marriage traumatized me, I'm just afraid that this would be my second divorce if things goes wrong.' Sarah close her eyes as she speak out her fear.
'You proposed to him, right? You wanted this, there must be something that makes you wants to spend your life with him. Wedding is just an event, what matters is the rest of forever. Love isn't enough, there is so much more than marriage other than love.' Rachel encourage her. 'Look, I wore this Versace gown because the dress you choose doesn't fit me, but the point is, I wanted to be involved in your big day, Sarah. Same with you, your first marriage was a joke, don't stained your real one.'
Sarah seems to be more relaxed, he body is longer stiff. 'Okay,' she breath with her hand gesturing up as she take in oxygen, and down as she exhale, 'I can do this.'
'Yes.' Rachel smiled, 'come on, you're about to go in.' Rachel stood in front of her when Dolores arrived, the double door of the church opens and they march in front of Sarah.
Sarah skipped the traditional wedding march song, instead, she pick another one, same as her theme, "Beauty and the beast".
Even though it wasn't her wedding, but there's no harm imagining what if...what if the person standing on the altar is Derek? What if this was her wedding? What if they were meant to be together? She watched Sarah's dad taking his daughter's hand to Albert. As he went back to the seat, he was wiping away his tears. Sarah's mom couldn't help it, those happy tears couldn't withhold themselves. When it was Sarah's turn to take the vow, she paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and started her speech. Rachel watched as her best friend gets all emotional, her voice was croaky, but she made the most beautiful speech. It was all teary day, her waterproof make up is going to rescue her. Tony Lington, standing opposite of her, he was smiling at her, like they were both overwhelmed that their best friend had found a person who love her as much as she did.
'You are amazing.' Rachel hugged Sarah tightly, before she left for her honeymoon. Sarah opt for the more traditional way, leaving for holiday right after the wedding, what's not to, when it was a offer from Rachel to travel on her dad's private jet.
'I love you, Rachel.' Sarah reciprocated, 'I hope the man that you had an affair with is worth your love, he doesn't know how lucky he is to have you.' Sarah whispered to her ear.
Rachel's felt her tears rushing out from her eyes as she swallow Sarah's word.
'It's not like she's never coming back,' Dolores rolled her eyes. She couldn't stand emotional scene.
'You are so dark and twisted, did anyone told you that?' Sarah replied her. She has changed to her winter coat, Uggs and a leather gloves. Uggs is comfy in the sense, but not so much a fashion sense for Rachel.
'Let them be, after all, they are not going to see each other after this, since Rachel is heading back to Seattle.' Tony adds. Everyone turn to look at Rachel.
They wave goodbye to her as Albert hit the gas and gesture goodbye to everyone from their window.
Rachel watched the car moved away from her view, she sat on the railing while everyone is heading back to the function hall, the event haven't end.
Not really everyone, Tony stood beside her.
'What a day.' He places both his hand inside his pocket, the weather is freezing, but Rachel enjoys it, feeling the stinging air circling around her cheeks.
'Yep.' She replied. Their eyes still fixed on the street even when Sarah's car has disappeared.
'Well, anyway, I, uhm, I'll be heading back to Korea.' He began to study Rachel's face, he has to know what expression Rachel is going to show, because it matters to him.
'Visiting your parents? That's nice.' Rachel stifled a smile, the weather was so cold that she had to force her skin to move. 'Can we go inside? I'm freezing.'
'As I was saying, I'm kind of going back to Korea for good.'
Rachel peered up at Tony and stop halfway as they walk back to the hall, her brows notches up as she received the shocking news from him. 'For good? You are leaving? Why?' For a mere moment, Rachel felt as if her soul has been shattered. She can't imagine her squad is dispersing.
'There's a Chinese saying that there will always be an ending to every feast. Which means all good things must come to an end.'
Her heart weighs a ton. She couldn't breathe for a while. 'I don't know, God, this kind of hurts, Tony.'
'Its actually nice to hear that.' Tony chuckles, yet his smile faded when he realized Rachel meant what she said.
Rachels watches him and remained silent. Stuck in a complicated state, she is trying to clear her thoughts. Farewell has become a frequent thing for her, but she will never get over it nor will she get used to it.
'I will really miss you, Rachel. I'm leaving anyway, and all those words I haven't got to say, I might as well say it out now,' Tony pursed his lips for a while, 'I like you a lot, Rachel Woods, despite many times I tried to ignore the feelings I had for you, I'm just lured back to you. I wished we met earlier, I really do. Getting to know you and the others has been a privilege, you especially, somewhere along the way, you would be the story I told my children or grandchildren.' He leans against the wall. Tony tried to act as if he was nonchalant about his farewell, yet a hint of sadness was betrayed by his eyes, they were avoiding Rachel.
Rachel doesn't want to look at Tony either, tears clouded her vision. Perhaps somewhere deep inside her, especially the time where he held her hand during her miscarriage, some sparks does happens between them in a brief moment. She saw the panic and instability in his expression, which is mark deeply inside her memories. 'When are you leaving?' She speaks softly.
'Somewhere around January,' he clears his throat. Tony never knows that it would be so difficult to get his words out. 'Got to settle many things, houses, banks and other miscellaneous stuff.'
Rachel simply nodded, she couldn't know where to start as many questions starts to ponder in her mind.
'You know, when you left without saying, everything became so blank and stale, I often walk to the pantry area, hoping you would show up.' He shakes his head, mocking himself.
Rachel held her hand tighter. She tried to hold back, yet she doesn't know what she is holding back to. At the spur moment, she might have the intention of giving Tony a hug, but she couldn't, she can't dragged him on if she couldn't gave him what he wants.
'I've said whatever needs to be said. I think this is goodbye for now.' Without any hints, Tony slowly walks towards her, widening his arms, he wrapped it around her shoulders. 'Take care, Rachel, please take care of yourself.' He patted her.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She hates parting, always have and always will. Rachel lost both her parents since she was a baby, and she lost her adopted mom when she was sixteen, run away from home, breaking up with Derek and right now, saying goodbye to Tony.
Every so often, timing matters, she met Derek and Tony at the wrongest timing and she did made a choice, she choose to stay loyal to Derek.
Sometimes, the fault is really in our star, Rachel thought...
("Sometimes, the fault is really in our star" was inspired by both William Shakespeare and John Green, I do not own any rights to this sentence.)
A/N
I believed at one point of our life, there bound to be indecisiveness and uncertainties.
Along the way, you might encounter somebody who you wish you met earlier. But circumstances forbids. Even when you remain loyal to the person you have vowed 'til death do us part', there will comes a day where the other person will pop up in your mimd. I don't know how to explain this, but maybe you may experience this yourself.
I have a feeling that Rachel is starting to question herself, honestly, she has been avoiding Tony. What if she do met Tony in the first place?
Dedicating this chapter to bluedevils3 , thank you so much for the votes!