Chapter 49: The Devil’s Reward: Chapter 48

“Mom. Mom. Mommy. Mom,” Macy whispers over and over again into my ear. I groan, slowly opening my eyes and turning my head to look at her. She’s leaning over me, eyes wide awake, and hair standing on end. “I need to pee,” she whispers.

I abruptly remember where we are and that she has no idea where to go. I sit up and turn my head to see Shadow sleeping in the chair by the window, head back and eyes closed as his chest rises and falls gently with each breath. I see the closed bathroom door behind him and point at it and quietly whisper, “Right in there, baby. Just open it when you’re ready for help to wash your hands, okay?”

She nods, hops out of bed, and races for the bathroom, startling Shadow as she practically slams the bathroom door behind her. I wince and give him an apologetic look when he abruptly sits up and rubs at his eyes. They’re red from lack of sleep, and his clothes look wrinkled, but when his eyes catch mine, they’re awake and focused. “Morning,” he rumbles.

“Morning,” I say back, sliding out of bed as I hear the toilet flush. “I need to help her wash her hands.” He nods, stands, and moves out of my way, just as Macy opens the door as I instructed. I help her wash her hands, then shoo her out for my turn. I bite back a tired smile when I hear her greet Shadow.

“I’m hungry,” she says loudly, and I can all but picture her standing there, wearing her pjs, hair a mess, as she looks up at him.

“Then how about we go and see what we can find for you,” he suggests as I flush the toilet and make quick work of washing my hands. When I emerge, he’s just picking her up and settling her on his hip. “Are you hungry too, gorgeous?” he asks me.

I nod. “I’d like to get dressed first,” I add awkwardly. I’m painfully aware that I’m not wearing a bra, and I don’t want to even think about the fact that I walked through the main room in front of everyone like this. “Give me two minutes to change.” He nods and I rifle through my duffel bag to pull out a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra, and a gray t-shirt. I head back into the bathroom and hurriedly get dressed, running my fingers through my hair before putting it up in a ponytail. That’ll have to do for now.

Shadow smiles at me when I walk out. “You’re beautiful in the mornings, you know,” he says as I reach him and Macy.

I give him a look and say, “If you’re trying to get on my good side, you need to do better than that.” I’m still not happy about being here, but I’m not as mad as I was last night. Or early this morning, depending on how you look at it.

“How about some waffles?” he asks, changing the subject, and Macy gasps in delight.

“I want waffles!” she screeches and I quickly shush her.

“Macy, people are still sleeping,” I scold her gently.

“Whoops,” she says, hunching her shoulders. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Shadow assures us as we walk out of the room and down the hall. “Most are probably up by now anyway, or if they aren’t, then they will be once we start cooking. They’ll be looking to steal yours,” he warns Macy.

Macy’s face instantly turns into a scowl. “I’m not sharing my waffles,” she announces sternly. “They can have their own.”

“Exactly,” Shadow agrees, taking my hand as we reach the stairs. I don’t pull away, mostly because I like the feel of his hand holding mine, but also because I like the way he’s holding Macy close, like he’s worried she might slip. Damn it, this man is far too good at easing my anger. I need to hold on to it a little longer.

When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I’m surprised to see so many people are already up and awake, including a woman I’ve never met before. At her feet are two black German Shepherds, and their heads lift the moment they see us. Macy gasps when she sees them. “You have doggies,” she cries delightedly, clapping her hands. “Are they nice doggies?”

The woman’s face morphs from a scowl to a genuine smile and she says, “They are nice doggies. If your mom says it’s okay, would you like to meet them?”

“Yes,” Macy answers immediately, squirming until Shadow releases my hand and sets her down. She heads towards them, moving at an easy pace, just like we practiced.

“They love kids,” the woman assures me as Macy stops a few feet from them, and both dogs regard her with interest, tails slowly starting to wag. “The big guy on your left,” she tells Macy, “is Loki. And the other one is his sister Ebony. Guys, friend.”

Both dogs immediately stand and sniff at Macy’s hands before licking her and nudging her to pet and scratch them. Macy giggles, delighted as she greets them. I smile. “They’re beautiful dogs,” I tell the woman, feeling shy and a bit awkward. She is gorgeous, with dark red hair, blue eyes, and looks like she woke up perfect right out of bed, despite being in clothes much the same as me and no make-up.

“Thank you,” she says with a friendly smile. “I’m Syn. I live next door, and I’m best friends with Sage.” She holds out her hand for me to shake and I quickly move forward to do so.

“Nice to meet you.”

“I’m going to make some waffles if you want some,” Shadow says to her, standing behind me and lightly caressing my lower back.

Syn arches a brow at him. “No bacon?”

He chuckles. “Fine, I’ll make bacon too, but you know that’s only going to provoke the horde,” he warns her.

“I think we’ll be okay,” she says with a pointed look at the dogs. “They’ll protect us as long as we give them a piece or two.”

Shadow grins. “Yeah, probably. Come on, Macy, let’s go get some breakfast.”

“Can the dogs come too?” Macy asks Syn with a sweet smile.

Syn grins. “I think you’ll have a hard time keeping them out.”

We all head towards a door off to the side of the room, and I’m surprised to find a spacious kitchen with professional-grade appliances and a very long, large, island that takes up half the room. I’m seriously envious and watch in shock as Shadow expertly grabs pans and a waffle iron from the cabinets. How the hell does he know where everything is in here? I’d need labels for sure.

Once he has everything out, he grabs Macy, sits her on the counter beside him, hands her a bowl, and gets her to help him make the batter. Macy laughs with delight when Shadow puts some of the mix on her nose, grinning at her. And Shadow laughs back when Macy sloshes half the mix up the side of the bowl before he rescues it. “Do that and we won’t have any waffles,” he tells her with a teasing smile. “The dogs would get a nice treat though.”

My heart hurts as I watch them. He’s so good with her. Patient, kind, and he listens. It’s clear that when she speaks she has his whole attention. The last of my anger slides away as he helps scoop some of the mix into the waffle iron, careful to keep her from getting burned. Macy beams up at him when he pulls her away and shuts the lid on the iron.

Damn it all to hell. I just went and fell in love with him.

I put on a smile when Shadow looks over at me, and I try not to panic. How can I fall in love with a man I’ve only just started seeing? How is that even possible? No, this can’t happen. It just can’t. Just because he’s really good with Macy and my ovaries want to explode does not mean I’m in love with him. Nope, no way.

It gets even worse when we get ready to eat and more and more people pile in to dish up. Most of them make a big show over trying to steal Macy’s food, laughing when she scowls at them, or in the case of Viper, tries to stab his hand with a fork. Shadow smirks and says, “That’s my girl, Macy. Keep the vultures away.”

Macy beams at him, and she just looks so happy that I could cry.

I finish my food quickly, and I know I need to get out of here before I lose it and do something crazy like declare my love for this man out loud. I need to think. To breathe. “Would you mind watching Macy while I go shower?” I ask Shadow when I hand him my dishes to put in the industrial dishwasher.

He looks at me, and he loses his smile when he looks at my face. “Sure. Everything okay?” he asks in concern.

“I’m fine,” I say, perhaps a bit too cheerily. “I just want to get freshened up. I’ll be right back.” Then I turn and all but flee out of the room.

I make it up to his room and shut the door behind me before I frantically pull out my phone and call my sister. I need her to talk me down. To tell me I’m crazy and that there is no way this can happen. Not yet. Not with everything going on.

“What up, buttercup?” Peyton says cheerfully when she answers my video call. Her expression immediately changes when she sees my expression. “What’s wrong?” she demands.

“I think I fell in love with Shadow,” I rush out, my chest feeling tight even as I say the words out loud.

Her face morphs into disbelief. “That’s why you look like your whole world is crashing down?” she says incredulously. “Are you crazy, Quinn? Of course, you are. You said he was a good guy, and you have a soft heart, so I figured that was a given by now.”

“I do not have a soft heart,” I argue. Why can’t she take my side on this? Shouldn’t she be telling me that falling in love with a man so fast is insane?

“Yes, you do, and that’s okay, Quinn. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I take it that you’re not sure you’re ready for that?”

“I barely know him,” I protest, sitting down on the edge of the bed and groaning. “We’ve been on one, count it, date, Peyton. Yes, I’ve slept with him, but that doesn’t mean I can just slide right into love. Not with everything else going on.”

“What else is going on?” I hesitate to answer but she just looks at me expectantly. I give her a quick run down, her mouth falling open in shock when I finally finish. “Holy shit,” she whispers. “Holy . I thought you were the quiet shy one, but instead, you’re shacking up with a biker who is fighting with the mafia.”

“You’re supposed to be horrified, not amazed,” I growl at her in irritation.

She shrugs. “Look, we’ve all been after you to live your life again after Bobby. I mean, I’m concerned about the mafia thing, but he’s promised to protect you and Macy. He came to the house in the middle of the night, took you to his clubhouse, made sure you were protected even while you slept, and helped make Macy happy with waffles and bacon this morning. Hell, I’ve never met him and I’m a little in love with him myself.”

“So you think I’m being overdramatic?” I ask tiredly.

“No, I think you’re being smart in questioning this,” she answers seriously. “Quinn, you’ve always been cautious and reserved, and that is fine. I love that about you. It really balances me out to hear your rational thinking on things when I’m dealing with some problem. But you need to make sure that your head doesn’t outweigh your heart all the time. You need some fun in your life. Though I wish you and Shadow had found each other at a less stressful time, but maybe this is life’s way of proving a point.

“When Bobby died, he left you picking up after his mess. Shadow’s mess, though not his fault by what you’ve said, involves you just by you being in a relationship with him, no matter how new. Instead of ignoring it and hoping it doesn’t touch you, he’s taking action, and that has to count for something.”

“I hate when you make sense,” I complain.

She chuckles. “That’s why we used to fight so much as kids, remember?”

I smile. “I remember, yeah. I also remember that you hid my barbies when I tried to make you play with me and you didn’t want to.”

She rolls her eyes. “Would you let that go already? I hid them in the litter box, yes I know. I also know they were your favorites and you have hated me for it ever since. Yeesh.”

I laugh. “Thanks, Peyton. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad, okay?”

“I won’t,” she promises. “Now, go back down there and flirt with your man and then try and sneak off for some kinky sex.” She winks and I roll my eyes at her before I say goodbye and hang up.

I blow out a breath and look around the room. It’s a man’s room, with nothing feminine around it, but it’s oddly comforting. I stand and go to my bag, grab some fresh underwear and head for the shower. A hot shower always helps me clear my head.

I let the water pour over me, soothing my skin, and let my mind go blank.

, I tell myself. I can love Shadow and still be cautious. Being good with my daughter is great, but I need to see him as a man, a partner before I make any final decisions, and I haven’t had a chance to do that. We haven’t had our first fight over something stupid, and we haven’t made sure that we can make it work when things get tough. But I’ll never know if we can unless I give him a chance.

So I can do that, and I can keep my feelings under wraps until then.

Happy with my decision, I step out of the shower and dry off. I grab my clothes, but then I realize I got syrup on the front of my shirt. “Damn it,” I mutter, pulling on my bra and walking out into Shadow’s room and back to my bag. Unfortunately, in his haste Shadow only packed me pants, underwear, and pajamas; there are no other shirts. I sigh and glance around.

Hopefully he won’t mind me borrowing one of his shirts, because that’s my only option at this point. I go to his dresser, pull open the first drawer, grab the shirt on top and pull it on. It’s far too big for me, but I bunch it up and make a knot on the side to keep it from hanging too far down and looking so bulky.

Satisfied, I go to push the drawer shut but something peeking out from underneath a few other shirts catches my eye. I frown at it, then reach in to pull it out. It’s a picture. An old one, from what I can tell.

This has to be Shadow’s team, I realize when I take in their gear. All of them look happy, grinning and pleased with themselves. I smile softly because it’s clear to see that Shadow loved his team. It’s in the easy camaraderie between them, the familiarity of people that spend a lot of time with each other. I instantly pick out Shadow, looking younger, more carefree, and just plain happy. My heart pangs at the thought that this could be the very last photo of them before he lost them all.

I trace my eyes over each member, but I freeze when I see the last face, the one under Shadow’s left arm. It’s like looking in a mirror.

I don’t realize I’ve spoken that out loud until Shadow says quietly behind me, “That was Sam.”