"I'm sorry," Dr. Cole says, closing the file and setting it down on the desk in front of her. "The hormones don't seem to be having as strong of an effect as we had hoped." She shakes her head, her brows scrunched together in sympathy as she looks in between me and my mate. "With the past few embryos not sticking and the negative effect the hormones seem to be having, I strongly recommend thinking about taking a break for a few months."
Aaron, my husband, gives a stiff nod, refusing to meet my eyes when I look over at him. Shame floods through me, knowing that I am a failure. Hot tears are threatening to spill over, but I hold them back, choking back the lump in my throat.
We have been at this for almost a year and a half now, trying to get pregnant. The posters on the wall, the ones with healthy pregnant omegas, with wide smiles on their faces makes my heart ache.
At the age of twenty-six, I am an oddity. My parents had been disappointed when I had wanted to go to college, and luckily I had my older brother who was able to help me with the expense. I didn't want to be someone who couldn't get by on my own. To be one of those omegas who only knows how to cook, clean, and take care of children.
I guess this is my punishment for daring to be more than my biology. Ollie would slap me upside the head if he ever knew I was having these thoughts. My best friend had stuck by my side all through high school and college, not letting my nagging and guilt tripping parents drag me back home.
"How long do we have to wait?" I say, voice coming out more like a croak. "Before we can try again?"
Aaron turns completely away from me, body tense as he stares out the window. With him facing away from me, I can't get a clear picture on how he is feeling. But after being with him for four years, I can recognize his emotions from his body posture. He is angry, barely holding himself back.
It just makes me flinch, tightly closing my eyes and letting out a shaky breath before looking back over at the doctor.
"At least six months." She looks back down at the file. "This disproportion in your hormones is not something I have ever seen, Mr. Harris, and frankly, it has me worried. We need to halt the hormone injections immediately and let your body try to get back on its own rhythm."
"But my hormones were already messed up before we tried getting pregnant," I say, the desperation creeping into my voice. I can't help it, though. This is what I always worked towards: a college degree, a stable job and marriage, and children. Now, it looks like I won't be able to have the last one.
Dr. Cole shakes her head. "Your hormones control your entire body. Think of them as the messengers, the things that tell your body systems when to start and end. Before the injections, your hormones were lower than normal, but not dangerously so. Your body was still managing to meet its needs.
She looks down at the chart, giving a small shake of her head as if she still can't believe it. "This, though... This isn't normal. Your body isn't handling the extra hormones well. If this continues, I fear that your body may start to rebel on you."
"But-"
"Milo, just shut up," Aaron says, his voice coming out harsh.
My teeth click from the force of me closing my mouth. Dr. Cole looks over at my mate with squinted eyes, completely unimpressed by him.
His tone doesn't surprise me, though. We have been doing nothing but fighting lately. This is no different.
"Let's just get out of here, before you make an even bigger fool of yourself," he hisses, standing from his seat and ripping his jacket from the back.
Pursing my lips, I look back at Dr. Cole. "Thank you for your help."
She gives a small nod of her head as I stand up from the seat, slipping my jacket on with trembling hands. A tear manages to slip out as I try to get my jacket zipped, and I brush it away roughly.
The hallways leading out of the clinic don't look as welcoming as they used to. The pictures with smiling omegas rubbing their round stomachs seem to mock me. Fighting back nausea, I force myself to walk faster, my boots on the hardwood sounding too loud in the otherwise quiet hallway.
Aaron is already sitting in the car, his hands tight on the steering wheel. He doesn't say a word as I open the door, climbing into the seat. The entire drive home is tense, the air feeling too tight as we sit in silence for the twenty-minute drive.
Arriving home just seems to make it worse. Aaron steps out of the car, slamming the door as I am just climbing out.
"Aaron, we need to talk," I say, voice scratchy from the barely restrained tears.
He doesn't say anything until I close the front door behind me, whipping around to face me. His anger is practically radiating off of him, hitting me with full force as his gray eyes become nearly dark from rage.
This is the first time that I have truly been afraid of my mate, Ollie's voice in the back of my head whispering as to why alphas shouldn't be trusted. They are too unpredictable, too dangerous when they get themselves worked up.
"You wanna talk, Milo?" he seethes, taking a step towards me. Automatically, I find myself backing away, not stopping until my back hits the front door. "You wanna talk about how I put up with all the shit you put me through. Supporting you through college, not complaining when you insisted on opening that stupid fucking bookstore and coffee shop.
"I put up with my parents' disappointment for not finding a suitable mate, my colleagues' inquiries about when you would finally settle down and do what your biology dictates you do. But, I knew, that once you got pregnant, everything would be right again. But that has been taken from me too!
"You're disgusting, don't even deserve to have a mate if you can't even do what you're supposed to."
Just when I think that he is going to haul back and punch me with his clenched fist, he turns away. The bedroom door slams as he walks into the room, leaving me by myself in the entry way.
My breath is shaky as I slide down the door, my legs seeming to collapse from under me. All my insecurities, everything I thought my mate was alright with, is laid out bare. It is like an uncovered nerve, bare to the harsh air and throbbing with every beat of my heart.
The bedroom door swings open again, leaving me to pull myself up from the door and walk into the living room. Aaron comes storming out of the bedroom, two overfull duffle bags on his shoulders as he walks past me.
"Where are you going?" I croak, watching him grab his wallet and car keys that he had dropped on the table earlier.
"I'm getting out of here. I'm done with you, look for the divorce in the mail."
And with that, he leaves the house, front door rattling from the force behind his anger. I stand there in silence, trying to catch my breath as I hear his car engine start and then become quieter as he drives further away.
The house is too quiet with just me there, my heart ringing in my ears as I try to process the last few moments. My mate, the alpha I had thought was the love of my life had just walked out the door, forever.
If I am being honest with myself, I know that the past year of our relationship has been tough. It was starting to get rocky even before we started for a baby, and the infertility problems just seemed to exacerbate the problem.
Everything seems too cold at the moment, and it is all I can do to grab the throw blanket from the recliner before collapsing on the couch. My phone presses against me in an uncomfortable way, and I pull it out of my pocket.
After only a few moments of hesitation, I type in the phone number that I have had memorized for years. Calling Ollie is a bit iffy at the moment. He has always been overprotective of me, the sarcastic and loud omega who dared to talk back to the alphas at our school. But, that's what makes us such good friends, being complete opposites.
The phone rings a couple of times before my best friend picks up.
"Milo! I was just about to call you. Today has been a long one, what with parents thinking they can boss me around, just because I care for their children. They just need to pull the long, deeply entrenched sticks out of their asses before I-"
"Ollie," I say, voice coming out shakier than I intended.
He stops mid rant, not saying anything for long enough that I think he has accidentally hung up. Just when I am about to pull the phone away from my ear to check, his voice comes over the line, the deadly calm tone telling me that he is barely restraining himself.
"What happened?" he says, voice terse.
Like I said: overprotective.
"He left, Ollie."
"That bastard, I am going to flay him alive." He pauses for a second before his voice takes on a bit of a maniacal edge. "Or better yet, we can just tell Nico what your bastard of a husband did."
His words cause my lips to turn up in a small smile, and my eyes fall closed as I snuggle further into the couch. "We aren't calling my brother. He and Maya would tear him apart, despite her being nearly seven months pregnant."
"Yeah, but wouldn't it be hilarious to see Aaron being taken down a notch by a pregnant beta? That's, like, his biggest fear."
Despite how horrible Aaron treated me before storming out of the house, I don't feel like stooping down to his level. And no matter how much Ollie would love to take him on, I won't let my best friend get himself beat up for running his mouth.
"Just come over? Please?" I whisper, not wanting to be alone.
"I'm already on my way. Be there in less than ten minutes, and I'll order some Thai as well."
"You're the best."
"I know, love."
And with that, he hangs up, leaving me once again to the silence of the house.
*****
This is a different kind of story that I am writing since it has nothing to do with war or disease.
Updates will be every Friday and Tuesday.