Chapter 26: 23

“Explain how?”

Chris looked at me blankly for a moment or two. His eyes were as wide as saucers and his mouth opened and closed like a fish that had been taken out of water.

“Did you or did you not write this?”

“Yes.”

“Did you or did you not steal my story without my permission, take the personal things I told you and put them in a fucking script. For people to laugh at I might add?”

“Yes I did but-“

“Did you or did you not manipulate the situation for your own gain. Like the fake wedding? Did you only come up with that idea because you thought it would be good research for your story?"

“Yes, but-“

“So what the fuck is there to explain Chris? It all seems pretty straightforward to me."

I glared at him for a moment or two before feeling like I couldn’t bear to look at his face for a second longer. I felt sick to my stomach as the mere sight of him.

“I wasn’t going to use it Annie. I just phoned my agent and told him that I wasn’t going to make the deadline, that I didn’t have a story. I swear to you- I wasn’t going to use it.”

“How the hell do you expect me to believe that? After you’ve done nothing but lie to me this whole time?”

Chris looked defeated now and ran his hands through his hair, before walking in a pointless circle, “I didn’t mean to hurt you Annie.”

“You didn’t mean to hurt me?” The sarcasm in my tone was unmistakable and I repeated it again for added emphasis, “You didn’t mean to hurt me!” God, that statement made me furious. “So when you wrote this… you didn’t think it would hurt me.”

I opened the laptop angrily again and started randomly scrolling, I was fuming now.

ANNIE is sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, she is clearly feeling bad and mopes around in her pajama’s looking disheveled. She flops on the couch and reads a self-help book while drinking cheap wine. It’s clear that she is miserable and lonely.

I carried on scrolling and reading, my hands were trembling so much that it was hard to control the curser.

ANNIE is at a restaurant with her friend. It is clear she has been crying, her mascara is runny and her hair is a mess.

ANNIE: I can’t help thinking that maybe, maybe…

ANNIE looks like she’s about to burst into tears.

MAGGIE: What sweetie?

ANNIE: Maybe I’m bad in bed or something. Maybe he finds me boring because I wouldn’t let him hit me with the spatula?

MAGGIE looks at ANNIE conspiratorially.

MAGGIE: Well, if your looking for some sex tips, you should consider hiring a porno.

“Should I go on Chris? Should I continue reading your romantic comedy featuring the pathetic, sad, insecure Annie with runny mascara and no life who is in crazed competition with Tamara as she tries to beat her down the aisle?”

“Shit!” Chris stopped his circular walk- which was really starting to piss me off.

“Is that all you have to say? After writing thousands of words on 160 pages no less. Is “shit” the only thing you can say?”

The rage I was feeling was starting to dissipate, giving way to something else. Pain. Despair. I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I couldn’t stop them. They started streaming down my face. I hated the fact that he could see how hurt I was.

“Annie, please don’t cry…” Chris started moving towards me and I blocked him.

“Don’t you dare come any closer.” I tried to wipe my tears away, “Was any of it real? Or was it all a big joke to you? Just a way to get story?”

I sat down on the chair, I felt dizzy now.

“It was real.” Chris started to approach again cautiously , “That’s why I’m not going to use it.” He pulled the other chair out and sat opposite me, “Annie, I’m in love with you. I’ve fallen in love with you. And when I saw you walking down the aisle towards me, do you know how much I wished that it was real…”

“Again, how do you expect me to believe anything that comes out of your mouth Chris?”

“But can’t you see how I feel? Didn’t you feel it last night when we made love? I love you…” His voice sounded desperate now, and even if he were telling the truth, he’d hurt me too deeply.

This was beyond forgivable.

He’d used me. He’d lied to me. He’d betrayed me.

I buried my face in my hands and I felt his arm come up and touch me on the shoulder. I flinched, his touch felt disguising now.

“I love you Annie, please. I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry….” And then he jumped up and opened the computer, “Look, I'm going to delete the whole thing.” He pressed some buttons and held the thing up. “See.”

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But it was too late. The mere fact that’s he’d written it in the first place was enough. That he'd written it behind my back, while I was asleep. Hidden the computer from me. Secretive. Manipulative. Devious.

“You know when I saw Trev and Tess in bed together, I didn’t think I would ever feel anything as painful for the rest of my life. But this here… this is worse.”

I got up and started walking towards the door.

“What can I do to make it better Annie? Tell me. I’ll do anything.”

I turned and looked at him one last time. He was still gorgeous. Sexy as hell. For a moment I’d been happy with him, happier than I’d ever been. For a moment I’d let myself think of him as my husband. Pictures of a house and kids had flashed through my mind. We’d made love- it had been amazing. The best ever---

It had all been perfect. Too perfect. Because it hadn’t been real, not for him anyway. It was all an act. A brilliant act.

“Good bye Chris.”

He ran towards me and grabbed me by the arm, “Please don’t go.” I looked up at him and could see tears starting to form in his eyes. I shook his arm free.

“Good bye.”

And then I walked out the door.