Chapter 34: Rejecting My Lycan Mate: The Throne: Chapter 34

Dimitri’s POV

Waves of pain just kept washing over me. Guilt was tearing me from the inside. I fucked up and I didn’t know how to make up for it. I didn’t know how to assure her that I would never leave her.

“I love you, princess,” I kept repeating it, hoping it would somehow fix what I broke. “I am so sorry.”

Her sobbing eventually quieted down and I could feel her calming down a little. I kept kissing every part of her I could reach. I kept running my fingers through her hair. I kept rubbing her back softly. I kept mumbling how fucking much I loved her and that I would never leave her.

I lifted her head a little so I could look at her beautiful face. Her eyes were closed. She was pale and there were red circles around her eyes. Her cheeks were puffy and wet.

“Maddie?” I called her softly as I caressed her cheek, wiping the tears away.

She didn’t respond. She was asleep. I sighed and pressed a soft kiss on her temple.

“Sleep, my love,” I said quietly. “I won’t let go. I won’t leave.”

She unconsciously pressed herself even closer to me and I couldn’t help but smile a little.

“My love,” I said quietly as I kissed her lips softly. “You are mine. You are mine to love and to cherish. I will never leave you. I promise.”

It would kill me if I left her. It would destroy me. I would be an empty shell of a man if I lost her.

A knock on the door made me look up. The door opened and Will peeked inside. His brows furrowed when he saw Maddie.

“Is she okay?” he asked as he walked inside and closed the door.

“She is sleeping,” I said quietly.

Will sighed and approached us.

“I fucked up,” I mumbled, looking down at her. “I fucked up big time.”

Will stood in front of us and took a deep breath.

“You will apologize and everything will be okay,” he said. “She loves you, Dimitri. She loves you so much. She will understand.”

I gulped and buried my nose into her hair.

“She thought that I would leave her,” I muttered. “She thought that I would go back to Savannah.”

Will sighed again and I looked back up at him. He had a worried look on his face.

“You were really angry, Dimitri,” Will said. “I never saw you like that. She definitely never saw you like that. What the hell happened?”

Will furrowed his brows and shook his head.

“I know Kendrick pissed you off, but the anger was just rolling off you in waves,” Will added. “It was strange seeing you like that.”

I took a deep breath and placed a hand on Maddie’s head. I pressed her closer, assuring myself that she was safe and in my arms.

“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head. “Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen Maddie in a few hours. I am really not sure.”

Will looked at her and gulped.

“Are you really that dependent on her?” he asked. “I mean, I get it now. I feel amazing when I am with Ali. I feel my best when I am with her, but I don’t think that being without her would cause me to react like that. I would miss her. I would want her back as soon as possible. I would be on edge, sure, but I wouldn’t react like that.”

I tightened my jaw and shook my head.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Will,” I said. “I can’t explain it. I can’t…”

I stopped talking and took another deep breath.

“It felt like I had that anger stored somewhere and it all just exploded out of me,” I mumbled, trying to explain the best I could. “I just couldn’t stop it.”

Will looked back up at me and furrowed his brows.

“That sounds weird,” he said. “It shouldn’t be like that, Dimitri. Maybe you should talk to someone about it. You’ve been through a lot lately.”

I placed another kiss on the top of Maddie’s head.

“You can’t hurt her like that every time you lose control,” Will added. “She doesn’t deserve it, Dimitri.”

I tightened my hold on her.

She deserved nothing but love and care. She deserved the best. She deserved to be cherished and loved unconditionally.

“She did everything right,” Will continued softly. “She handled it like she was supposed to. She wasn’t in any danger. Ellie and Mike were there. She told him no. When he asked about dinner she said that she was going to ask you if you could both go. She did amazing, Dimitri.”

I knew that. I knew that she did amazing. I knew that she wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. I trusted her, of course I did.

But I didn’t trust him. And I couldn’t control my fucking anger.

I ran my fingers through her hair and tried to ignore a wave of guilt that washed over me again.

“She did amazing,” I repeated. “I fucked up.”

Will nodded. “You have to make sure that you don’t do it again, Dimitri. Talk to someone about it.”

I sighed. “Talk to who?”

“I don’t know,” Will said, shrugging. “Oliver or Mike maybe.”

I sighed again. I didn’t trust Oliver yet, and Mike never really had a true mate. He never marked his fated mate and my mother was his chosen mate. Their bond was never really as strong as mine and Maddie’s was.

Maddie whimpered quietly and I froze.

“Maddie, princess?” I called her quietly.

“Is she okay?” Will asked, his voice laced with worry.

I lifted her head gently and saw that she was still asleep. Her brows were furrowed and there were little beads of sweat on her forehead.

My heart started racing. Was she having a nightmare? Was she dreaming about me leaving her?

“Maddie?” I called her, my voice trembling. “Wake up, princess. I am here.”

I leaned in to place a kiss on her forehead and my heart stopped beating.

She was burning up.

“Fuck,” I cried out as I placed a hand on her forehead.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“What’s wrong?” Will asked as he crouched next to us.

“She is burning up,” I mumbled. “Go get the doctor.”

Will jumped up and ran out of the room.

“Maddie?” I called her a bit louder. “Wake up, princess, please.”

She groaned quietly and opened her beautiful eyes. I cupped her cheeks and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Hi, my love,” I said, trying to stop myself from shaking. “What’s wrong, princess? What hurts?”

She looked around and furrowed her brows a little.

“My head,” she mumbled so quietly I barely heard her.

Fear washed over me and I could feel every muscle in my body clenching. She was sick? What the hell was wrong? I was going to fucking lose it.

“It’s okay, my love,” I said, trying to remain as calm as possible. “I am here. I will make it all better.”

“Dimitri,” she mumbled my name quietly.

“Yes, princess,” I said as I kissed her cheek. “I am here.”

“I love you,” she said. “I am sorry for what I did.”

My heart clenched painfully.

“No, no, no, Maddie,” I said, shaking my head furiously. “You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing, do you hear me? I fucked up. I let my anger get the better of me, but I wasn’t angry at you.”

She gulped and closed her eyes again.

“I love you, my princess,” I added, my voice breaking slightly. “Rest, okay? The doctor will be here soon.”

I placed her head back on my chest and took a deep breath.

What was wrong with my love? I needed to know and I needed to fix it. I hated that she was in pain. I had to stop it. I fucking had to.