âIâm exhausted. How much longer must I live like this? Is it really alright for me to continue living this way? I am a monster and I deserve to die. Just being alive⦠is a punishment for me, your Majesty.â
His beautiful golden forest-colored eyes descended. A drop of clear tears on his eyelashes flowed down on Assisiâs cheeks. His crying voice was pitiful enough even to my ears. I felt incredibly sorry to be listening to his terrible anguish. A guilty conscience sank in my heart.
âWith such a tainted soul⦠even remaining alive is a sin for me, yet my hideous instinct screams to live on⦠just how miserable and disgusting that is.â
Finally, Assisiâs body collapsed. The marble floor reflected his appearance clearly. He suppressed his cry as he touched the floor. His chin trembled. I wanted to go to him and help him rise right away, but my presence in this room was of great secrecy, so I could not help him. I could only watch him fall. All I could do was to stomp repeatedly at the sight of him.
Oh, my Lord. Was he actually crying?
âHow much longer⦠must I suffer?â
A deep, deep voice asked. I couldnât tell how deep his pain was based on his voice alone. Itâs so incredibly deep that I couldnât even hear it. It made me want to do whatever he wanted me to do. However, unlike me, who could just bite my nails as I felt my uselessness, Caitel looked cold.
âFor as long as you live.â
The emperor who rose from the throne walked to his knight. One step at a time. He walked so slowly that I started to feel impatient.
âBut it wonât be forever.â
Standing right in front of Assisi, Caitel lowered his body. Assisi looked up at the emperor who gazed at his teary wet eyes right before him.
âYou are me, and I am you.â
Caitel placed his hand on Assisiâs shoulder.
âMy knight, you are my mirror.â
Assisi lowered his eyes with a somber look. Usually, it would be a great honor to hear such a thing from the emperor, but he didnât show such a sign. Caitel grabbed him gently and made him stand.
Assisi, who rose, still shook his head with eyes filled with deep sadness. Caitel sighed.
âI promise. When I leave this world someday, I will kill you before I go.â