âItâs not just because youâre his daughter. Think about the reason why Caitel first decided to let you live.â
âWhat? Was it not because Iâm like a bug to him?â
Even though I said it, it still felt gave me a pang of sadness. He giggled upon hearing my answer, but Dranste shook his head right away.
âReally think about it. Do you honestly believe Caitel spared you over something like that?â
Of course not. I knew thatâs not the reason. Though I had never thought about it before. His unusual seriousness made me sigh. His quiet low voice exhorted me to think. I just wanted to ignore him, but I was the one whoâs curious about the answer. I was lost in thought. It was Dransteâs black and blue eyes that reached the end of my subdued gaze.
ââ¦because I canât fight back at all.â
I still thought about these sometimes. What would have happened if I had cried and struggled when Caitel grabbed my throat. I didnât ask anyone for it or ask for an answer, but I knew instinctively. Iâd be dead if I had done it. Dranste nodded at my answer. I added another one to it.
âWas I a creature he can kill at any time if he wants to?â
âAnd didnât do it because he doesnât feel the need to take such a weak life.â
With his mouth wagging, Dranste added a word. I then wrinkled my forehead at that sight.
âThereâs no need to keep me alive.â
âBut thereâs also no need to kill you.â
It was incomprehensible, but Dranesteâs reply was not unconvincing. Yeah, well, he could kill me any time, so he didnât feel the need to kill me. Why is that though? He whispers quietly as if to answer my question.
âAnd youâre so loyal to Caitel that on one would ever imagine that you could betray him.â
Ohâ¦
I bite my lips without realizing it. I had such a vague realization.
I see. I was just desperate to survive, and I guessed that was what might have looked like to the eyes of others. Even now, I was the most gentle in Caitelâs hands.
âYes, no matter how much you wander around Caitel, he didnât find the need to dispose of you. Thatâs who you are. Youâre the only one who can approach Caitelâs heart right now.â
I didnât know why heâs telling me this.
However, his eyes told me that this was the truth.