That was definitely a story of the pastâa past story for Ferdel and a distant history for me.
But that didnât seem like the case for either Caitel or Assisi.
Thus, I decided to hold my breath regarding it.
There were always stories that would hurt people when told. I had such stories, and so did Assisi, but I never expected it to lead to something like this.
What did that guyâs country look like, and how did it succumb to darkness.
âWhat did you end up learning that changed you like this?â
âI came to know that Caitelâs father and Assisiâs mother were having an affair.â
At that question, my answer just flowed out. Dranste couldnât help but go quiet at it. I looked up to meet Dransteâs eyes, looking down at me.
âMy grandfather was with Assisiâs mother.â
It wasnât that shocking to me; I wasnât even surprised when I heard it, but saying it aloud to someone else didnât feel right.
Ah, now I knew why Assisi looked like that after telling me about it.
âI always thought dad and Assisi werenât as close as I thought. I knew theyâre hiding something from me. Something even Ferdel didnât and couldnât knowâ¦â
Maybe it had to do with both their pasts; that was all I could understand.
âI never knew that things were woven like this.â
I had no excuse, and I couldnât erase it from my mind either. I laughed at my vain attempt.
âIt wasnât something they both knew.â
I felt horribly sad for Caitel, who had seen his father sleeping around with other women, ones who werenât his mother. At the same time, I pitied Assisi, who had to watch another man, the Emperor of the country, comfort his mother and not his father.
What kind of messed up scenario was it?
I suddenly remembered what Assisi had said. He said he would avoid having children even after marriage.
I finally understood why such a benign man had to say such words.
âMaybe, just maybe, the two of them didnât really care much about it, unlike how you imagined it.â
âWhy wouldnât they?â
âBecause the world was under such messy ruling at that time.â
Dranste laughed as he sat beside me.
âWho would care about the crazy things happening in a crazy world?â
I could live with that answer, but my heart was inconsolable. I knew that it was an era with a distorted reality where morality and order didnât exist.
I knew that, but I couldnât just put it behind me.
Dranste went on encouraging me as he saw the confusion in my eyes.
âWhat do you plan on doing?â
A ridiculously simple question.
Me? What could I do?
I pulled my knee to my chest, wrapping my hands around them and hugging myself. With my cheek leaning on my knees, I listed the things ravaging my mind.
âI am not disgusted by it or anything. I do understand that it was a twisted era, but I canât just accept it. I justâ¦â
Right, I justâ¦
âIâ¦â
My throat felt clogged.
I could feel the questions tangling in my head. To be honest, in my heart, I knew something like this was bound to happen.
âHow on earth am I supposed to solve this?â
Dranste laughed upon hearing my question.
âI feel like I have been handed a tangled thread. Where should I start untangling it? No, will I even be able to solve it?â
Then, Translate offered me a pleasant smile.
I hated how he smiled beside me; it annoyed me, really annoyed, but I was too occupied with the problem at hand to snap back at him. Seeing my irritation, he shut his mouth. When I tried to say something, I couldnât speak up. I could utter a sigh, and another sigh, then sighing again.
âI feel like I touched something I shouldnât have touched.â
I could feel Dranste stroking my head. I sighed once again as I pushed his hand away.
âBut itâs too late for me to back out. Even I know that!â
He started to chuckle as if he heard something interesting, and then it turned into a burst of hysterical laughter. I stared at Dranste.
âThings are more tangled than you think.â
âYou telling me there is something more about it?â
âYes.â
I could feel the fear creep in me upon hearing his short answer.
âI am scared.â
I was confused. I didnât know what to do with this information.
âWhy the hell are the two of them bottling up such horrors inside them?â
Dranste chuckled at my frustrated question. I didnât expect a straightforward answer, but the last thing I needed was more complications.
The answer was nowhere to be found, but I wanted it; I had to find the answer on my own.
Dranste reached his hands out and wrapped them around my slumped shoulders. It was like he was trying to comfort me, but since the hands belonged to Dranste, it was not at all comforting. It didnât even reassure me in the slightest. Even then, for some unknown reason, I liked Dransteâs attempt to cheer me up. With a hysterical laugh, Dranste asked.
âDid peering through someone elseâs mind without preparation shock you that much?â
âMy feelings donât matter.â
Rather than meâI was thinking about Assisi more. I felt terrible for hurting Assisi for nothing.
Ugh! How could I be so stupid? I wanted to cry. Urgh! Ugh! Stupid Ariadna.
âI want to see my dad.â
I missed my dad suddenly.
Jumping from my seat, I walked towards the door after wearing a shawl that I pulled from a nearby chair; however, I felt strange the moment I grabbed the doorknob.
Itâs dark outside, way too dark for a visit.
It was late. Would it be okay if I meet dad in the dead of night?
My doubts clouded my decision-making process, so I looked back.
âCan I go and see him now?â
Dranste, who heard my question, laughed out loud. He fell out of bed, laughing. I felt awkward seeing him laugh like that.
Was that bastard high on drugs?
What was it? What did I say?
I had no idea why he was laughing like a maniac.
Once he was done with his manic laughter, Dranste got up from the bed and walked towards me; whipping off the tears in my eyes, he said.
âHe is your dad.â
An answer so simple and comforting.
That was all I needed; I immediately pulled on the doorknob and left the room.
âRight. He is my dad.â